The Life and Crimes of Bernetta Wallflower (9 page)

Bernetta studied the quarter a moment and then tried the trick, just as her father had showed her. Left hand, quarter. Right hand, sweep and close.

“Bernie!” her dad cried. “That was amazing! Almost perfect. I've never seen anyone pick it up so quickly. You really are a natural. I couldn't believe that trick you pulled the other night at the club.”

“Yeah?” Bernetta smiled.

“Bram's still talking about it.”

Bernetta laughed.

“Listen,” her father told her, “I know your mother and I agreed that you should take a break from the club this summer, but I really think you should keep practicing your magic, regardless. You have a real talent. And who knows? When the school year starts back up again, we just might be able to work you into more of the show.”

Bernetta clapped her hands. “Really? Are you serious, Dad?”

“Absolutely. If you keep practicing.”

She gave him a hug, and then he wished her good night. “Did you say good-bye to your sister?” he asked on his way to the door. “You probably won't see her tomorrow.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Bernetta replied, whacking her pillow into its fluffiest position.

After her father had closed the door behind him, Bernetta took up the coin again and felt the weight of it in her left hand. She studied it there.
Never look at the wrong hand
, her father had said. Strange, Bernetta thought, but what her father had taught her that evening was so similar to what Gabe had shown her that afternoon. Distraction, making others look only where you want them to. She set the quarter down on her bed and rustled through her backpack until she found a ten-dollar bill. Then, with her stuffed pink pig as a cashier, she practiced the moves of the shortchange over and over, until she knew she had it down better than even Gabe did.

When the clock read 10:02 and her yawns were starting to stretch her jaw farther and farther down, Bernetta stuffed the bills from her shortchange practice into her top desk drawer. As she snuggled under her covers for a good night's sleep, the quarter for the French Drop rolled off her bedspread and onto the floor with a soft clunk, but Bernetta didn't bother to pick it up. It had been a long day, and she was, at last, ready to go to sleep.

When Bernetta woke up the next morning, she found a note on top of her desk.

Dear Netta,

Thought you might want to use this while I was gone. Have a great summer! I'll see you in five weeks.

Love,
Elsa

Next to the note was a half-empty bottle of Rustic Red nail polish.

Bernetta picked up the bottle and stared at it for a moment. Then, very slowly, she crossed the room and dumped the bottle in the trash can.

Elsa didn't know everything about her, Bernetta realized. Not even close. Maybe her sister was going off to college soon, but she wasn't the only one doing new things. She wasn't the only one who was changing.

As Bernetta passed her dresser, she noticed last night's quarter on the floor, next to her bed. She scooped it up and added it to her Mount Olive fund in the desk drawer. Every little bit helped.

S
HORT
CARD
n
: a card that has been slightly shortened, making it easy to locate within a deck of otherwise unaltered cards

With each day that passed, Bernetta found that she was getting better and better at pulling cons. She and Gabe made excellent partners—he'd been completely right about that. He was a whiz at reading people, and she wasn't too shabby either. She had those lightning hands, and he had a way of turning his voice silky smooth, so that people couldn't help trusting him. Gabe didn't want to stay in one location too long, so they'd spend a couple of days at the Championship Mall and then switch to the movie theater or the strip mall across town. A few times they even took the bus to the pier twenty minutes away, where there were loads of tourists just waiting to hand them their money. No matter who had raked in the most money that day, they always split the take evenly when they parted ways for the evening—exactly fifty-fifty. By early July, just three and a half weeks after Bernetta had joined forces with Gabe, she'd made over a fourth of her tuition money. Mount Olive was waiting for her with open arms.

One Thursday night during dinner Bernetta was busy composing the speech she'd make to Ashley Johansson the day she waltzed back into school. She couldn't decide if it should begin with “So who's the idiot
now?
” or the slightly more humble “I guess you thought you'd gotten rid of me for good, huh?” She was trying to imagine the look on Ashley's face—mostly shock, probably, with a good mix of scorn and confusion—when Colin poked her in the side with a spoon.

“BernieBernieBernie, did you go to Saturn?”

“Huh?”

Their father laughed and twirled his spaghetti on his fork. “I think he's wondering if your mind's in outer space.”

“Oh.” Bernetta wiped a glob of sauce she'd just noticed on her elbow. “No, I was just thinking.”

“Well,” her mother said as she poured dressing on her salad, “your father and I were just talking about your babysitting money.”

Bernetta's head shot up. “Oh?”

“Yes. I opened up a savings account for you this afternoon. I think it's best if you put the money the Nortons have been giving you in the bank. That way you can earn a little interest off it too—won't that be nice?”

Bernetta nodded. “Um, yeah. Thanks, Mom.”

“Tomorrow, when you're done babysitting, I'll take you to make your first deposit, all right? After that you can go yourself after the Nortons pay you each week. How does that sound?”

“Great.” She took a slurp of spaghetti, a noodle worming its way up her chin.

The phone rang in the living room, and Bernetta's mom left the table to answer it.

“Hey, Bernie!” Colin called out suddenly. He held up his left hand, which was sporting a flowery oven mitt. “Give me two!” he shouted.

“What?” Bernetta asked.

“Give me
two
,” Colin repeated. He looked at her like she was an idiot and pointed to the oven mitt. “Like, give me
five
. But it looks like I only got two fingers.”

Bernetta rolled her eyes. “Brilliant, Colinization.”

“Really? You think I'm brilliant?”

“Yes. You're a genius.”

“Nah,” Colin said, scratching his head with his oven mitt hand. “I don't even have a bottle.”

“
What?
” Bernetta said.

Their dad put his hand in front of his mouth and stage-whispered, “He thinks you said
genie
.”

“Oh.”

Bernetta's mother walked back into the kitchen then and let out a puff of air as she sat down at the table. “I have to go in to school tomorrow morning,” she told everyone. “Mrs. Eddleman was supposed to administer the proficiency tests to the new special ed students, but apparently she's come down with the flu.”

“Is she okay?” Bernetta asked.

“Is she barfing all over everywhere?” Colin said.

“She'll be fine,” their mother replied. “But Herbert, do you think you can take Colin to rehearsal with you tomorrow?”

“I'd love to,” he said. “Only I'm not going to rehearsal tomorrow. Roger's buying a new illusion from a seller out in Crestlake, and he asked me to go with him.”

Bernetta's mother twisted her spaghetti around on her plate. “I see. Well, Bernetta, maybe you could take him with you to the Nortons' house then?”

Bernetta accidentally bit her tongue instead of her food. “No!” she cried. She stuck her tongue out, rubbing it between her fingers. “I meem—” She took her fingers out of her mouth and tried again. “I mean, um, I don't think the Nortons would really—”

“I'm sure they'd understand,” her mother said. “I'll call them.” She got up and walked back toward the phone. “Where did you put their number, sweetie?”

“Mom, wait!” Bernetta cried, leaping out of her chair. “Um, I'll call them.”

Bernetta's mother nodded. “Okay.”

Bernetta held the phone tight to her ear, her mother lurking at her elbow. “No, really, Mrs. Norton, that's okay,” Bernetta said into the receiver. “Don't worry about it at all.”

“And this Tuesday is Family Fun Night!” the robotic voice on the other end informed her. “Tickets for parents and children are only four dollars each for the six-
P.M.
screening of
Little Choo Choo's Big Achoo
.”

“No, that's fine,” Bernetta said. “If Colin really can't come over tomorrow, I'm sure my mom can drop him off at a friend's house or something.”

Bernetta's mother shook her head. “No,” she said. “Zack's family is at the Grand Canyon, and the Cartwrights have company this week.” She reached for the phone. “Here, let me talk to her.”

Bernetta coughed. “Um, what?” she said into the receiver. “What's that, Mrs. Norton?” Bernetta held her hand over the mouthpiece and turned to her mom. “She's talking to her husband. I think she might be changing her mind.”

“Oh, good.”

A minute later, after listening to all the listings for
A Long, Long Way to Jupiter
, Bernetta hung up the phone and informed her parents that the Nortons had agreed to have Colin over for the day. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

“Oh, good,” Colin said. “I want to play board games with Hank. Board games with lots of pieces.”

Bernetta didn't even have the strength to muster up a sigh. Tomorrow was going to be one interesting day.

Early the next morning Bernetta sat on the floor of her room, tying her shoelaces and thinking. She'd been up thinking most of the night, actually. But so far she hadn't come up with a way around her predicament. She'd promised Gabe that she'd meet him at the pier that morning, and she desperately wanted to go. She hated the thought of Gabe stuck out there all morning, waiting for her, wondering why she hadn't shown up.

But then there was Colin. Her little brother might not be the brightest star in the cosmos, but he wasn't a moron either, and when she failed to take him to Hank and Yolanda's house, he was going to figure out that something was up. And then he was going to tell that
something
to their parents.

There was a knock on her bedroom door.

“Yeah?”

The door opened. “Hey, sweetie.” It was her mother. “Thank you again for taking Colin with you this morning. Are you sure you don't need a ride over there?”

“Nah. Colin likes walking.”

“He does. Okay, I wanted to give you the information for your savings account, so you can make your deposit this afternoon. I would go with you, but I'll probably be at school pretty late. Don't forget, all right?”

“I won't.”

After Bernetta's mother had explained how to deposit the money and gone back downstairs to make sure Colin ate his breakfast, Bernetta opened her desk drawer and took out all her precious Mount Olive money. She wrapped the bills in three layers of Kleenex, pressed the wad between the pages of her well-chewed copy of
Dune
, and wrapped the whole thing with a rubber band. Then she placed the book carefully at the bottom of her backpack and covered it with a sweatshirt. If she had to carry her entire school fund all the way to the bank, she was going to make sure it was safe and secure.

Bernetta walked downstairs and found Colin eating scrambled eggs at the kitchen table. He was wearing his last year's Halloween costume, cape and all, but his fangs seemed to be getting in the way as he chewed.

“Colobus Monkey,” Bernetta said, grabbing a piece of toast their mother had left and taking a seat at the table, “you are not wearing that outside.”

“Yes, I am,” he said. “And my name's not Colobus Monkey. It's Dracula.”

“No way,” Bernetta said. “No way am I taking you all over town looking like—”

“Hey, Bernie!” he cried suddenly, pulling the fangs out of his mouth. “Wanna see something really scary?” He set the fangs on her plate. They were covered in egg bits and drool.

Bernetta wrinkled her nose. “Ew!” she said. “That's
gross
, not scary.”

Colin rolled his eyes. “That's 'cause I'm not done yet. Duh.” He grabbed the ketchup bottle off the table and took aim at the fangs. “They need blood. Then they'll be scary.”

“Colin . . .”

The ketchup splattered onto Bernetta's plate.

“See?” Colin asked. “Spooky, huh?” And he popped the ketchupy fangs back into his mouth.

Bernetta tried not to gag on her toast as their mother bustled into the room, gathering odds and ends into her purse. “You two better get going,” she said, checking her watch. “You don't want to be late for the Nortons.”

“Right,” Bernetta said, taking her plate full of ketchup to the sink. “Come on, Dracula. I guess we should go.”

“Yay!” Colin cried, jumping out of his chair, his cape swishing behind him. “Dracula loves board games!”

Bernetta slid her backpack onto her shoulders and tightened the straps.

“Have fun!” their mom said, with a peck on the forehead for each child.

“We will!” Colin told her.

Bernetta wasn't so sure.