The Legend of the Ditto Twins (20 page)

Lily did
not come home for supper, but Clay didn't seem concerned. After all, she often
forgot practical matters like meals. Clay retired early, but I waited up for her
till almost midnight. Finally, I went to bed. But I didn't sleep.

A little
before one, there was a soft knock on my door.

I sat up.
"Lily?"

"May
I come in?"

"Sure."

The door
opened, and there she stood, still in the outfit she had worn to the disco, her
cheeks covered with long, stringy stains of dead mascara.

"I
know. I should have knocked."

I nodded
and patted the bed.

She slid
down next to me. "I'm sorry—so sorry."

"Where've
you been?" I asked.

"No
place. Wandering around."

"You're
not suicidal or anything, are you?"

"Not
really. Just disappointed." Her eyes moistened. "I thought I was your
sister. You could've told me."

I tried
to find words. "It's not... something you talk about... not to anyone. Not
even to Clay."

"Then
I won't mention it to him."

I put an
arm around her and squeezed. "Thanks."

"I
mean, I
really
won't. Not to him. Not to anyone."

"Good.
We'd both appreciate that. You must hate us."

"Hate
you? What're you talking about? I love you. Don't you see? It makes you so special.
To me, anyway."

"Special?"

She
sighed. "I guess I'm just destined to be a fag hag. You know what that
is?"

I nodded.
"Part of my summer education. A whole new vocabulary." I smiled.
"'Fag hag.' Is that what you are?"

"Well,
you and Clark, you're my best friends."

"But
we're not fags," I said quickly.

She
tilted her head and gave me a look.

"Except,
well, with each other."

She poked
me. "God, you're worse than Mario. I could get rich running a hotel with
no rooms, just closets."

I smiled
wanly. "I don't know what we are."

"You
will in time. I mean, maybe you're gay, maybe it's just a phase. Don't sweat
it. And as for the incest thing..."

"The
what?"

"Incest.
I mean, it's not as if you're gonna knock Clark up and have a kid. Or him knock
you up, depending on who's the top. No, don't tell me. Unless you want to. I'm
sorry, I don't mean to pry. Are you hungry? The diner on Fulton's open all
night. I mean, all those incest laws are just for straight people, anyway. And
I'm starving."

"Hey,
slow down. Incest? What's that?"

"You
know, the Hapsburgs. Two-headed babies. I could really go for a cheeseburger.
Don't worry about a thing, I don't think incest laws even apply to gays. No
sweat. And French fried onion rings."

"Just
tell me that word again."

"What
word?"

"Incest.
I've never heard it before. How do you spell it?"

"I-N-C-E-S-T.
And a root beer float, I think."

"What's
incest?" Clark asked when I finally reached him the next day during my
lunch hour.

"Look
it up in the dictionary, idiot.
Its
when two people
who are blood-related have sex.
Its
illegal."

He seemed
dumbfounded. "In America?"

"In
practically every country in the world. It's taboo. Criminal. Go to the
library. Read up on it, and call me back."

"Okay,
sure, but... Maybe I should just ask Go-To Guy."

"No!"
I shouted. "Don't you dare! This has to be our secret."

"'Secret?'
What about Lily?" he asked.

"Oh,
shit. Probably half the town knows by now." I paused. "No. I don't
think so. Underneath all that mascara, there's a real person in there
someplace. I saw it last night. I'll talk to her again."

"Okay,
I'll go down to the library. Hey—ditto, ditto, ditto—even if you are a
dangerous criminal." Clark snickered. "I love the way you break the
law."

"You
are one sick puppy." I hung up.

"Who
is?" asked Clay as he entered the office.

"Clark.
Sometimes he's as crazy as Lily."

Clay
didn't buy it. "Anything wrong?"

"Everything's
fine." I shoved the cell phone in my jeans. "I finished all the
filing. What's next?"

Clay
shrugged. "Do you do windows?"

"I
want to earn my salary."

"Jesus,
you're too fuckin' efficient."

"I
have an idea. Actually, it was Clark's. If you'll pick up the materials, we
could paint the house for you. We did one of Dad's barns last summer in two,
three days."

"I
didn't bring you out here to put my house in order."

"Why
did
you bring me out
here?"

I'd never
seen Clay at a loss for words before. "Uh... a lot of fuckin'
reasons. Some of em are obvious—I needed someone to do
my legwork for me. The others... well, you're beginning to figure em out,
aren't you?" He tossed me a pad of yellow Post-Its. "Go ahead. Paint
the fuckin' house. I've gotta go take my nap."

To my
surprise, Lily arrived home less than an hour later. There'd been a bomb scare
at the abortion clinic, and the staff had been let go for the day.

"I
looked up that word," I said by way of greeting.

"What
word?"

"Incest,"
I said smugly.

"Oh,
that. Did you see? Elton John's gonna do a concert at Soldier Field. Want to
go?"

"Lily!
This is serious."

"What
is?"

"What
you saw."

"Well,
I didn't see much." She giggled. "Next time..."

"Stop
it! It's got to stay a secret."

"Honestly,
Mark! First of all, I told you, incest only counts if you're straight. Don't
you like Elton John? Second, it certainly doesn't apply to twins. I read
somewhere that psychiatrists consider twins having sex the same thing as having
sex with yourself. And God knows, that's not illegal, or everybody'd be in
jail. Do you like 'Rocket Man'? That's my favorite."

"Promise
you won't say a word? Ever."

"I
told you I wouldn't. And I won't. Don't you believe your own sister? Look,
sometimes I may seem a little ditzy, but not when it comes to people I
love."

"Sorry.
But Clark's super worried. Thinks if our folks found out, we might be in
trouble. We just had to be sure."

"And
are you now? Or do I have to take a blood oath?"

"Aw,
c'mon. It's just a really big secret."

"Yeah,
I know. Really special. You guys are so lucky. I wish I had a twin." She
pulled a newspaper out of her shoulder bag. "You want to go to the movies
tonight?"

I thought
about the blood oath for maybe half a second and dismissed it. Satisfied with
her commitment, I said, "I've got to shower and then call Clark."

"Well,
hurry up, please. Tanisha’s coming over."

"Who's
Tanisha?"

"My
best girl friend." She cackled to herself. "Remember? The one I was
gonna fix you up with last summer."

As she
hurried off, my cell phone rang.

I
answered it at once. "What did you find out?"

"Lots."
Clark sounded tense. "Most of it not so good."

"What
do you mean?"

"We
could go to jail."

"Don’t
be silly. Lily says..."

"What
does she know? Mark, there have been cases..."

"Not
if you can’t get pregnant" I assured him.

"You
don't know what you're talking about. Did you speak to her about keeping her
mouth shut?"

"Yeah.
She's not going to be a problem."

"Are
you sure?"

"Positive.
She swore. Practically took a blood oath."

"'Cause
no one else must
ever
find out."

"Clark,
this doesn't apply to us. We're a special case."

"Are
you out of your fuckin mind? This is serious shit. Incest is a criminal
offense. Like murder. They could arrest us."

"Who?
The FBI? Interpol? Clark, cool it!"

I heard
Lily calling, "Mark, get your cute little butt out here. We've got
company."

I groaned
into the phone. "Sorry. Lily's hollering for me. Gotta go. I'll call you
back."

"You
better. Soon as you can."

At the
time, I thought nothing of it, but I realized after we hung up that we hadn't
dittoed each other.

Tanisha
was the exact opposite of Lily. Squat, dowdy, and bleak, she was wearing baggy
jeans, a gray sweatshirt, tinted glasses, and a navy cardigan. Even though the
afternoon was sweltering, she didn't seem to be sweating. And her coal-black
hair stood straight out, sort of like
The
Bride of Frankenstein.
When I walked into
the room, she still had her overstuffed book bag strapped to her shoulder, and
one hand covered its flap as if to protect its contents.

"Tanisha,
here he is, my brother I've been telling you about."

"Hi,"
I said. "I've heard about you, too."

The next
thing Tanisha said was: "What's your sign?"

"She's
very into astrology," Lily offered.

"What's
your sign?" Tanisha asked again.