Authors: J. Adams
Ingo starts pulling out of the driveway, looking up as
Cisely waves through the front window. At the same moment,
an acute ache fills his chest. The pain startles him so, he
immediately puts the car in park. Pressing a hand to his chest,
he closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, briefly wondering if
he is experiencing a heart attack. But when the pain quickly
subsides, he figures it must have been some sort of panic
attack, probably stemming from worry over Cisely.
“Look at me,” he mutters. “A grown man and I can’t
even spend one afternoon away from my wife. Get a grip,
Kelly!”
Opening his eyes and looking up at Cisely again, he gets
out and trots back into the house. Pulling her to him, he holds
her close.
“Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”
“I will be fine. I promise. Just go and have a good time.”
“Okay.” He kisses her, holding her another moment. “I
love you, Cisely.”
“I know,” she says, cupping his cheek. “I love you, too.”
He finally forces himself out the door.
“Are we ready, gentlemen?” Ingo asks, getting off the ski
lift, taking in the vast surroundings. The blanket of white is
almost blinding but beautiful. Thankfully his goggles are tinted.
“I’m definitely ready,” Ben says. “What do you say, Tim?”
“I say the need for speed is about to be satisfied!”
Ingo grins at the excited men. They are like eager little
boys let loose in a candy store. He really is glad to have come,
despite worrying about Cisely. But she's right. She will be okay
until he gets back. Shaking his head, he muses that even though
he's tried not to, he really has become a worrier. He can’t
understand why. Maybe it's because he never loved anyone
until Cisely. She is constantly on his mind, and just the thought
of her warms his entire being.
Cisely
has
been
through
so
much
in
her
life,
and
everything inside Ingo yearns to keep her heart safe, to never
let her be hurt again. Even still, thinking about how far she has
come, Ingo knows even if he never had another day with her,
his love helped to produce a great work. She knows who she is
now, and she knows her worth.
He had smiled as he'd watched couples coming and going
earlier while he sat putting on his skis, remembering how he
had joked with Cisely about coming with him. Now as he
stands in the frigid weather, those thoughts heat him to the
core and he doesn’t feel the cold. Looking down at the lodge, a
dot in the distance, he decides to bring Cisely up for a few days
in the fall, and makes a mental note to make reservations
before leaving.
Ingo, Ben and Tim get into position, calling from one to
the other, “See you at the bottom!” Then they are off.
Ingo experiences heightened exhilaration with each slice
of his skis in the snow. It's a rush he hasn’t experienced in a
long time and he is enjoying every second of it. He has always
loved skiing and the feeling of freedom it brings. He’d learned
to ski as a teenager during their family vacations in Utah and
quickly took to it. He smiles as those memories come to mind.
His form is perfect and he is feeling pretty confident, his
concentration level high.
Then, out of nowhere, the pain he’d felt earlier returns.
When it does, his concentration flees.
Sitting on the living room sofa, I mentally study the
movements of the little boy inside me. We found out the sex of
the baby as soon as we could, and though we would have been
just as happy with a girl, we are excited to be having a son first.
Ingo says every little girl needs a big brother, so he is sure we
will have a girl next time.
Up until now, I have only felt slight flutters here and
there, but today I can actually feel him moving around, and it is
unlike anything I ever imagined. To feel this life growing inside
gives me the ultimate feeling of peace and makes me marvel
anew at how truly miraculous and sacred procreation is.
I spend some time reading a maternity magazine and a
few
pamphlets
on
childbirth.
Some
things
I have
already
learned from Tara, but as I read about the phases of labor and
delivery, as well as the options available, I decide to take a
natural childbirth class and prepare as much as I can. I will
discuss it with Ingo when he gets back.
Pulling a folded piece of paper from the desk, I again
look over my list of things we will need for the baby’s nursery.
We still need to buy a crib and get the bedding. There are
already lots of clothes, blankets and diapers, thanks to Ingo’s
window shopping sprees and Jessica’s surprise purchases.
My thoughts roam to Jessica. She is in Australia for the
month visiting her family. Though she has only been gone for a
week, I miss her a great deal. She calls each day to check on me
and make sure I'm okay. Between Jessica and Ingo, and even
Tara checking on me from time to time, I am covered.
The growl of my stomach reminds me that it's time to eat
something. Even though I'm a fairly decent cook, I still miss
Jessica’s delicious meals. She usually cooks so much, there are
leftovers for days. I wonder if her family is taking advantage of
her culinary skills.
Probably.
As I am heading to the kitchen, the doorbell rings.
Answering it, I squea1.
“Hello,
bella!
”
“I can’t believe you’re here!” I cry, throwing my arms
around Adagio’s neck.
He laughs and embraces me. “Look at you! You look so
beautiful!”
“I look big.”
“You are not big, just pregnant. And you still look
beautiful.”
“Thank you. Come on in.”
Adagio picks up his suitcase, setting it in the hallway by
the stairs.
“So why didn’t you tell us you were coming? I could have
gone shopping and prepared something special for dinner.”
“I told Ingo I would be coming one day this week,” he
says, squeezing my hand. “He wanted you to be surprised.”
“Well, you both succeeded.”
He grins. “It is so good to see you,” he says, hugging me
again. “I have missed you.”
“I've missed you, too. I just wish we could see more of
you. I wish you didn’t live so far away.”
“I do, too. But I am on no time table right now, so I can
stay until I wear out my welcome.”
“Oh, you could never wear out your welcome.”
“I was hoping you would say that.”
“Ingo went skiing today. He left a couple of hours ago so
he might be a while.”
“That's okay. You can keep me company until he gets
here.”
I make a couple of mugs of hot chocolate and bring them
to the living room where we sit and visit.
“Tara
tells
me
you
have
dubbed her
your
personal
pregnancy guru.”
“I guess I have,” I confess with a chuckle. “She's fun to
talk to. I really enjoy our visits.”
“She does as well. Your friendship means so much to
her.”
“She and Gary are pretty amazing people.”
“They are.”
“So, how are things with you?”
“Good. Business is great and the guys in the kitchen tell
me I do nothing but take up space.”
“Ha!
You
see
what
happens?
You
teach
them your
secrets, show them how to cook your coveted dishes and
suddenly they can do without you. Good thing you own the
place.”
“I know, otherwise I wouldn't be allowed in the kitchen.”
“Probably not. In any case, I’m so glad you’re here.”
“So am I. Besides, you know me. I never pass up an
opportunity for free room and board.”
“Well, if there’s one thing we do have plenty of, it’s room
and board. We just need more people to fill them.”
“That's what I am here for. But I do plan to earn my
keep, so feel free to put me to work at any time.”
“Oh, don’t worry. My request is a pretty simple one.”
“And just what would that request be?”
When I smile he grins. “Aha. I will do my best to take
care of your Italian food cravings. Your every wish is my
command.” He finishes with a dramatic flourish.
“Thank you. One meal a week should do it. After all, I do
have to keep up my domestic duties in the kitchen, or look like
I am anyway.”
“I am sure carrying a child is a major domestic duty in
itself, but I do want to help out in any way I can. You just say
the word and it's as good as done.”
“Well, I can’t let you do too much or there won’t be
anything for Ingo to do.”
“And we would not want that, would we?”
“No we wouldn’t, but
he
might not agree.” I glance at my
watch. “You know, I think I’ll call his cell and leave a message
telling him you’re here. And when he gets here I’ll give him a
sound talking to for not letting me know you were coming.”
“Well, don't be too hard on him. It was partly my fault.”
“But you’re going to make it up to me with your culinary
skills.”
“True,” he agrees.
Just as I reach for the phone the doorbell rings.
“I’ll be right back.”
Looking through the small window on the door, my
breath catches. It's Ben Gaylord, and a police officer.
What’s going . . .
I don’t finish the thought. Opening the
door, I take in Ben’s red eyes and tear streaked face, and my
heart lurches.
Ben opens his mouth but doesn't say anything. He won’t
even look at me.
Panic growing, I grab the front of his coat. “Where is
Ingo?” I repeat, my voice raising a pitch. I sense Adagio's quiet
approach.
It is the policeman who finally speaks. “Mrs. Kelly, I’m
sorry to have to inform you that your husband was in a terrible
skiing accident a while ago. He didn't make it.”
“What?” I whisper, staring at the two men. “I don’t
believe you! It’s not true!”
“It is, Ma’am. I'm so sorry.”
No! This can’t be happening! It cannot be happening!
Adagio gently pulls my hands from Ben’s coat, putting his
arm around me. “How?” he asks in a broken voice.
“No one knows what caused it, but he lost control,
snowballed, and crashed into a tree coming down a steep slope.
He died instantly.”
“No!” he whispers.
“
Oh, please no.”
The officer holds Ingo’s personal belongings out to me,
but I don’t move to take them. I can't. I can’t move or even
think. Time has stopped and I'm trapped in a single moment.
As my weight shifts, Adagio adjusts his arm around me. It
is the only thing keeping me from falling. I watch him take the
bag from the officer. “Thank you,” he says.
“Mr. Kelly has been taken to Cottonwood Hospital. An
autopsy will be done as soon as possible. His vehicle is still at
the resort and you can pick it up at your leisure. Again I am
truly sorry.”
Ben finally raises his eyes to mine. “I’m so sorry,” he
sobs. “I'm so sorry.” Then he and the officer leave.
Taking my hand, Adagio gently draws me back into the
house and shuts the door. I think he says he is sorry, I'm not
sure, but that is the last thing I hear before the world around
me starts spinning and everything goes dark.