The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and in (14 page)

“The brave don’t run,” I repeated in the hope of remembering this valuable line.

“I recall one time when I was skiing in New Zealand at the Remarkables. It was before I became a pro and was good enough
to race full-time. The head of the ski school, a world-class skier named Michel, and I hiked up to the summit of one of the tallest peaks. At the top, part of me was awestruck by the breathtaking beauty that enveloped us. I could see the Southern Alps and gorgeous lakes leading all the way to the edge of the horizon. New Zealand’s like that. But another part of me was
terrified
. Yet I knew that to retreat down the mountain was to retreat from my next level of excellence as a skier and a much higher degree of confidence. Because, as I mentioned, Blake,
when you go to your limits, your limits will expand
. So guess what I did?”

“You ate your fear and skied the run,” I replied, feeding back some of Ty’s words to show him I was listening intensely.

“Yup. I turned the volume on the screaming voice of fear down to zero, and I skied down that run like I’ve never skied any run before it. I gave it
everything
I had. I leaned
into
the mountain, pushed my abilities to the edge, and reached for my absolute best. And because I stepped up to the challenge that the peak presented, I reached a completely new peak for myself. I conquered an inner Everest that morning, dude. My skill as a skier shifted in a massive way. My self-belief soared. And the caliber of personal respect I had for myself as a man shot into the blue sky. We all have our own Everests lurking deep within our hearts. You need to be dedicated to climbing them every day. Remember,
you’ll never know how high you can climb if you don’t even try
. And you’re not truly alive unless you’re pushing risk and eating your fear,” Ty shared energetically as he paced in the center of the small store.

“So Leaders Without a Title viscerally understand that hard conditions reveal a person. They totally get that difficult circumstances, while scary, are also exhilarating. And they have an intense understanding that hard times are the best opportunities to show leadership. The more extreme the conditions, the more excited they get about the chance to not only see what they’re
made of, but also to step into their greatest selves. So rather than resisting discomfort, they run to it, man. And because they work and live like this, the things that once filled them with discomfort eventually make them feel comfortable. Cool, huh?
The more time you spend outside of your comfort zone, the wider it grows
. And that means the more you stretch, the more things that once scared you now feel normal,” added Ty.

“Big idea for you there, Blake,” interjected Tommy.

“Another thing I learned from skiing difficult runs is that they held up a spotlight on my deficiencies. Like I said a little earlier, on the easy stuff, anyone can look like a superstar. But when you get on the steep slopes, your weaknesses begin to show up. Problems with your stance or your balance or even issues like holding the poles the wrong way all get exposed because you’re under pressure, and so your technique’s being tested. And that’s another opportunity, because you get to see what you need to improve if you want to get better.”

“And it’s the same in turbulent business conditions,” I contributed. “Deficiencies get amplified under pressure, right?”

“Right. Personally, during intense times, you can discover your weaknesses and become aware of your constraints. And organizationally, during times of real change, companies can learn what’s limiting them so that they can pivot with speed to become even more efficient, effective, and profitable. Intelligent enterprises get that hard business conditions deliver free consulting advice that will only make them faster and even more successful.”

“That’s a great way to look at it all, Ty. So I sense that you’re basically suggesting that I learn to become comfortable with discomfort? And to
lean into
all the messiness that’s out there versus pulling back and clinging to my old way of thinking and behaving, like a frightened skier clinging to the mountain.”

“Only if you seriously want to grow and become dramatically
more effective—as a leader and as a person.
The very things that make you feel afraid are the very doorways into your leadership best
. One of the daily practices of excellent leaders is that they do something that stretches them and causes them to confront their limits. See, there can be no growth or progress without that feeling of nervousness in the pit of your belly and discomfort in the core of your body. The majority of our society teaches us from a very young age that to feel uncomfortable is bad and wrong and a sensation to be avoided at all costs. And so we play and stay small. We don’t venture much beyond our regular routines and the activities where we feel safe and at home. But because we cling to the safe harbor of the known, we experience zero adventure. We fail to conquer new lands. And we never summit to our peak.”

“And then ski down it,” I said with a smile.

“And then ski down it, dude,” Ty affirmed. “Resisting the opportunities that change brings is a tragic way to live. And the saddest way to die.”

Ty was silent for a moment. Then he added: “My father died like that, Blake. Worked twelve-hour days in the same factory his entire life. Every night, to numb his emotional pain on a life half lived, he’d drown his heartache in alcohol. I knew that at his core he was such a good man. He truly wished for the best for us. But he couldn’t get out of his own way. He just never caught a glimpse of the leader he could have been. So he just kept on working and living exactly the same way. No reaching. No venturing. No expanding. He died when he was only sixty-two. Quietly and with almost no one noticing. It was as if his whole life never mattered. As if he’d lived for no reason. All because he was too scared to conquer his fears and run toward what he resisted. All because he just wouldn’t dare to leave his comfort zone. All because he allowed the voice of doubt to get the best of him. The philosopher Seneca said it so well: ‘It is not because things are
difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.’ I still think about my dad a lot. There’s not a day that goes by without me remembering him. And promising myself I’ll never go down that way.”

“Sorry to hear about your father, Ty,” I spoke softly.

“Don’t be sorry, dude. My hard childhood strengthened me. And my father’s example became a cautionary tale showing me what not to do and how not to live. So it was yet another gift. It taught me the difference between breathing and truly living. And the absolute necessity of choosing growth over complacency—even though complacency feels better in the short term. Anyway, please just remember the idea that the more time you spend in your discomfort zone, the more your comfort zone will expand. It’ll help you so much in your work at the bookstore. Hey, cross your arms,” Ty instructed.

I did as I was told.

“How does that feel, to cross your arms like that?”

“I don’t know. It feels normal, I guess. I always fold my arms this way. I’m not really sure what the purpose of this exercise is,” I admitted.

“No worries. It’ll be clear in a minute. Now cross your arms the opposite way from the way you usually cross them.”

Contrary to my habit, I now forced myself to put my right arm over my left one. I’d never crossed my arms like this in my life. It felt odd.

“This feels weird,” I mentioned to Ty.

Tommy was watching me with amusement. I could see he was having fun.

“It should feel weird, Blake,” Ty indicated. “
Any time you try something new, it’s going to feel weird
. Public opinion will tell you that because something feels weird, you’re making some mistake. The mob mentality says if something feels uncomfortable, go back to what feels natural. But like I’ve been encouraging you
to remember, any time you run toward change and growth, it’s bound to feel strange. That’s a good sign. It only means you are leaving your safety zone. New patterns of thinking and behaving are being wired in. New forms of knowledge are being installed. Your personal frontiers are being expanded. What a perfect thing—even though it feels weird.”

“So weird is good?” I asked with a laugh.

“Of course it is! If you’re not feeling that discomfort we’ve been talking about, you’re not changing. You’re not growing. And you’re pretty much wasting your time.”

I kept my arms crossed in the new way I’d placed them over my chest. This was getting more interesting.

“Did you know that
everything
in your past, including all the messiness, was
necessary preparation
to bring you to the edge where you are finally ready to make the leap into the leader that you truly are? All that’s happened to you has been superb, man,” Ty stated confidently.

“I’m understanding that, Ty,” I acknowledged.

I thought more about my time in Iraq. Nothing of any value was ever accomplished by escaping into a bunker. And running away from a difficult scenario never made anyone a hero. As a unit, our gains inevitably happened when, in the heat of a battle, we flawlessly executed our strategic plan and then swooped in for the victory, oblivious to the threat of danger.
The fact was, the bigger the risks that were present, the larger the rewards that were available
. That’s exactly what Ty was reminding me of. Hard times only
feel
bad. In truth, they serve us so very well. They make us tougher. They connect us to our dormant potential. Yes, they make us feel uncomfortable. Yes, they create confusion within our minds and provoke fear within our hearts. But the reality of the matter is that the conditions that challenge us the most are the very conditions that lead to our greatest growth. And to our most fulfilling achievements.

As if reading my mind, Ty said, “Great leaders have the deep understanding that anything that helps you expand and grow as a person is a very good thing indeed. And in these uncertain times, growing yourself and your leadership best is your single best survival tactic. I should also say that
things often have to fall apart before they can be rebuilt in a much better way
. You can’t reach a place of breakthrough without going through a period of breakdown. It’s scary because, as you transition from all you were to all you can become and from your former way of working to a better way of performing, you’re out in the sticky snow of the unknown for a while. And being out in the wilderness of the unknown brings up our limiting beliefs and our greatest fears. You bump up against your insecurities. You meet face-to-face with your self-doubt. The main thing to understand during this period is that any time you are moving nearer to growth and embracing deep change, your fears will surface. That’s just part of the process of developing new skills and awakening more of your natural leadership potential. You’re letting go of your old way of being and leaning into a new one. The foundations on which you used to stand are crumbling, and that feels really uncomfortable. But again, it only
feels
uncomfortable. Nothing’s wrong here. Your old foundations and traditional structures need to fall apart so better ones can be constructed. This is how change works. But out of confusion always comes clarity. From chaos always flows order. And if you fearlessly stay with the change process, you’ll actually arrive at a new order that is significantly better than the one that existed before all the transition began.”

“So breakdowns lead to breakthroughs,” I confirmed.

“Yup. Don’t give up. Just keep moving closer to your discomfort and taking even more intelligent risks. Each of your fears will steadily begin to vanish. Do what frightens you daily, and you’ll elegantly transform fear into power every day. That’s how you build self-confidence and become invincible. Push risk. Hug
change. Go for your biggest opportunities. And each time you do, your inner leader is fed more fuel. And soon you’ll arrive at place where
anything
is possible. So back to my metaphor. Though being out there on the edge of that mountain peak terrifies you, it really is the safest place anyone in business today can be. Out on that edge, embracing all the change, feeling off your center, and releasing the way you used to do things isn’t easy. But it’s the only place leaders hang out. It’s also a place of intense freedom, man. Oh, by the way,
all of the fears that are chaining your progress as a leader and as a person are nothing more than the lies you’ve sold yourself. Stop investing in them! Because life’s just too big to play small
.”

“I love what you just said, Ty. I am completely inspired listening to you here in your shop today.”

“Me, too,” Tommy added enthusiastically. “You definitely get better with age.”

Ty chuckled, then got right back into his commentary on how turbulent times build better leaders.

“Look, Blake. An essential part of the whole Lead Without a Title method is to start doing a lot more of what you know you should be doing every day in your work but in the past have just been too timid to do.
Scared gets you nowhere
. Lucky people don’t get lucky. Lucky people
create
lucky. And they do this by taking bold risks and seizing excellent opportunities. Staying on the beginner slopes is foolish if you want to become an expert skier. You need to move up to the tougher runs. And yes, they’ll cause you to fill up with a ton of discomfort.”

“But that’s part of the process of growing, right?”

“Exactly. No discomfort means no growth. That’s why I say it’s actually safest out on the steep slopes.”

“Is that really true?” I asked sincerely.

“Sure, because sticking to the easy terrain is a surefire way to end up as a failure as a skier. You’ll never get better. You’ll be
trying to be safe and secure on the beginner slopes, yet end up mired in mediocrity. So those unchallenging runs are actually unsafe places—if reaching your fullest potential is your goal.”

“And the same metaphor holds true when it comes to leadership at work, right, Ty? Refusing to embrace change and seize opportunities to perform better simply because I’m trying to stay safe in my comfort zone is actually putting me in a highly unsafe and dangerous place. Because it’ll just lead me to failure in my career.”