The Lawson Boys: Alex (18 page)

“I wasn’t an
angel.” Harly shook her head. “I just knew what it was like to be
overlooked. But I had a good life, I can’t complain. And I won’t
have you feeling sorry for me.” The last she added a little
angrily, giving her hand a tug and sliding it from beneath his to
tuck into her lap.

“I’m not.”

“It’s starting
to sound as though you’re trying to make up for what happened back
then.” Taking a steadying breath, Harly lifted her chin and met his
gaze squarely. “I’m a big girl, Alex. I don’t need pity, and I
don’t need pity sex.” There it was, the subject slapped out in the
open like a fish flopping around on a deck. No ignoring it.

He didn’t
flinch, just continued to regard her. The Alex she remembered from
long ago would have been in an argument with her by now. This
older, mature Alex had a lot more control of his temper. Some
things did change.

“I was the last
girl you made love to in this town, I’m guessing, from what you
stated a few minutes back.” She met his gaze gamely. “You took pity
on me, we had sex, you made your getaway, and here we are sixteen
years later, and tell me, Alex, was last night
pity sex
?”
She almost shouted the last two words, immediately placing her hand
over her mouth in horror and shooting out of her chair. “Oh, I am
so sorry! I didn’t mean - I shouldn’t have said that!”
Good God,
did I really say that?
May the ground open up and swallow her
whole. Beyond mortified, she grabbed her plate, avoiding looking at
him. “Are you finished? I have to wash up and go do some shopping.
You probably have to go and help Paul and-”

The plate was
plucked from her hands and put back down on the table. Biting her
lip, she looked at his chest before her, unable to help but see the
muscles outlined by the t-shirt beneath the open flannel shirt.

Two big hands
cupped her cheeks and tipped her head back so that she was looking
up into Alex’s face. Expecting to see anger, she saw only quiet
contemplation and something else, a spark deep in his eyes that she
didn’t quite understand.

“Last night
definitely wasn’t pity sex,” Alex stated calmly. “As for the past,
I didn’t have pity in my mind when I made love to you that first
time. I was comforting you, then suddenly something happened. I
wanted you. I can’t just have sex with any girl, Harly, I have to
have some feeling towards her, even back in my hormone-ridden
teenage years. I had feelings for you, only I didn’t recognise what
they were back then. I do know you avoided me afterwards and I
believed that you were embarrassed, and maybe didn’t even like me
that much, perhaps even not forgiven me for taking your virginity,
so I didn’t seek you out. But you were the last girl I ever made
love to in this town. For some reason, just knowing you were here
made any kind of intimate liaison with another girl
seem…wrong.”

Harly blinked
in surprise.

With quiet
conviction he continued. “Yes, I’ve been with a few women since
then over the years, but not many. The relationships I had were
missing something, a closeness, a spark, a feeling of completion.
Only once have I ever found that missing something, Harly.”

Heart thumping,
she could only watch as he lowered his head, her lips parting as he
neared enough for his breath to brush warmly across her mouth.

“I found that
last night, Harly, with you.”

His kiss was
feather light across her lips, a brush of sensitive skin, a shared
breath, and then he deepened the kiss slowly, gently.

It was such a
gentle kiss yet it shook her to her soul.

He held her
still with just his palms cupping her cheeks, yet it felt as though
there were fragile, yet strong, ties binding her to him. It was
strange but undeniable.

His kiss
soothed her, the coldness that had filled her pushed away to be
replaced with a wash of warmth, a tingling in her blood, a flood of
emotion that left her weak, shaken, so that when he lifted his head
she swayed towards him until finally she was leaning against him,
her breasts pressed to his chest, his tall, muscular frame
supporting her easily as he bent over her protectively. Even though
his hands remained cupped around her cheeks, his very presence
surrounded her.

Opening her
eyes, she found herself gazing up into his, the blueness warm with
a tenderness she’d never thought to see in the eyes of any man who
looked at her.

“Last night
wasn’t pity sex,” he repeated huskily. “Last night was a miracle.
Last night I found you again.”

She didn’t know
what to think, what to say. Her emotions were skittering all over
the place, shock making the edges raw while an awakening of some
kind soothed the sharp edges.

“And this
time,” he said with conviction, “I’m not letting you go.”

Swallowing, she
looked up at him. He was so sincere, he truly believed what he
said, but the question was - did she? And how did she really feel
in return? Sure, her emotions were running riot, but it was so
much, too much too soon, his words making her mind whirl while the
closeness of him made her feel almost too warm, and his clean
masculine fragrance invading her senses made her thoughts swim. She
felt as though she were drowning under a delicious yet bewildering
ambience.

Alex smiled
slightly. “I’ve made you speechless. I didn’t think that was
possible.”

“I just…I don’t
know what to say.”

“Your mind is
going a million miles an hour, isn’t it?”

“Um…” Seeking
to clear her thoughts, she dropped her hands from his chest and
took a step back.

He didn’t make
a move to stop her. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Worriedly,
Harly chewed her bottom lip. “I don’t know if that’s wise.”

“Why?”

Good question.
Maybe because he’d been so honest with her, baring his soul, his
beliefs, and what she was wondering was…well, hell.

“Come on,
Harly,” Alex urged quietly. “I’m not going to faint. I’m not going
to get mad.” He grinned a little crookedly. “I even promise not to
cry.”

In for a penny,
in for a pound, as the old saying went. If she couldn’t tell him
how she felt now, when could she? And if he could be honest, so
could she.

If only it was
that easy.

Looking at Alex
standing there, big and masculine and handsome, his gaze so intense
and patient yet with an alertness that defied his relaxed stance,
she wondered that she could even have doubts. There would
undoubtedly be a score of women in his past who would give their
eye teeth to be in her position right now. Only she wasn’t certain
of
her
position.

Taking a deep
breath, she backed further away, creating distance between them.
His eyebrow arched up but he didn’t stop her. Moving around behind
the kitchen bench, she placed her hands on the bench top and
thought about how to start. It seemed so much easier when watching
an actor do it on the television. Reality was a whole other ball
game.

Alex moved
forward, but rather than come to a stop directly before her, he
instead leaned against the wall beside the counter not far to her
left. Reaching out, he took a mint from the open packet and
unwrapped the lolly. Popping it into his mouth, he chewed on it
while waiting patiently. Leaning against the wall with his ankles
crossed and his hands in his pockets, he was the epitome of
relaxation. If one didn’t notice the intensity of his gaze.

Harly glanced
at him. He merely raised his eyebrows in answer and said not one
word. She half wished he’d ask something to give her a start, but
geez, he’d already said his piece. Now it was her turn.

Rather than
meet his eyes, she returned her gaze to the bench top between her
hands. “How can you possibly know in such a short time that I’m the
one for you?”

“I just
do.”

“Not a good
enough answer.” Not good enough for her.

“You don’t
believe me.”

“I find it hard
to believe,” she corrected.

“Then I’ll just
have to work on convincing you.”

She ignored the
warmth that sentence caused. “There’s a problem with that,
Alex.”

“I somehow
thought there was.”

Harly glanced
sharply at him, but his expression revealed nothing, so she turned
to him, wanting to see his face. “I don’t know how I feel about
you.”

He nodded
calmly.

Fine
. As
long as he could be calm about it, so could she. Harly straightened
her shoulders. “I don’t sleep around, Alex, so don’t go thinking
that what happened last night is going to happen again anytime
soon.”

He studied her
thoughtfully.

Refusing to say
more until he answered with words, she folded her arms beneath her
breasts and raised her own eyebrows at him.

“But it will
happen,” he stated.

Caught off
guard, she stared at him. “What?”

“You said it
wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, so you haven’t ruled out that
it will happen again.”

“Are you
laughing at me, Alex Lawson?”

“Not at all.
Just trying to get an understanding.”

More than a
little irritated because she couldn’t read his stoic expression,
she snapped, “I’m not a woman who sleeps around.”

“I know
that.”

“How the hell
can you know that? You just got here.”

“You’re shy
when naked, and honey, even though you were unbelievably hot in
bed, there was no doubting how inexperienced you were.”

Flabbergasted,
she could only open and close her mouth.

Calmly picking
up another mint, Alex unwrapped it and said before popping it into
his mouth, “And you’re deliciously tight.”

Her cheeks went
bright red.

His eyes
gleamed carnally. “The first one I’ll remedy, the second, well,
your delightful body will get used to my size.”

Not knowing
what to say to that, because the God’s honest truth was that Alex
had been her one and only lover, Harly could only stare at him
while her cheeks burned…and she tried to ignore the surge of heat
in her loins at the memory of his
size
entering her.
Do
not go there. Do not go there. Do not bloody go there!

“But it’s more
than just the lovemaking that’s disturbing you,” Alex
continued.

“
You’re
disturbing me.”

He grinned that
crooked little grin that made her heart go -
do not go there
either!
Harly gathered her wits. “You came back into town after
sixteen years, we have a blow-up, we end up in bed together, this
morning you declare that you feel something for me and you’re not
going to let me go, and I’m telling you that I have no idea how I
feel about you or this whole situation.”

He thought
about that for several seconds, chewing slowly and nodding his head
before finally answering. “Okay.”

When he didn’t
say anything more, she asked incredulously, “That’s it? Just
‘okay’?”

“Sure. I
understand you’re confused. I know how I feel, and I have an
understanding now how you feel.”

“How can you be
so calm about it?”

“You’re being
honest with me. I’m being honest with you.”

Was he for
real? “You don’t seem worried that I don’t return your claims of
undying devotion.”

“Harly, I’ve
learned a lot in the time since we last met. One of those things is
patience.”

“You think if
you’re patient I’ll come around? You’re that sure of yourself?”

“Hmmm, maybe
‘patient’ was a bad choice of word.” He rubbed his chin, a gesture
that coming from another man might have seemed as though he was
laughing at her, but Alex was deadly serious. “Harly, I’m willing
to put the time into this relationship to prove my declaration, and
I’m willing to wait for you to discover your true feelings. I can’t
put it any plainer than that.”

“This may take
awhile.”

“Yup.”

“What if I
don’t feel like that? Ever?” She watched him curiously.

He looked at
her.

“Honestly,” she
prompted.

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

Pushing away
from the wall, Alex moved the two steps to place him directly in
front of her. Reaching out, he took her chin in a gentle hold.

Heat
immediately washed through her, and she could only watch in
fascination as he leaned close. His gaze, so intense, locked with
hers, and when he spoke it was with a conviction that made her
breath catch.

“Harly Bentley,
you said it yourself. You don’t sleep around, you don’t trust
people you don’t know, and you are no fool. But you trusted me last
night, you didn’t hesitate in letting me sleep over, you allowed me
to make love to you, and you slept in my arms afterwards. This
morning after your initial embarrassment, we enjoyed each others
company while having breakfast. Now you tell me, honey, if that
doesn’t mean something.”

Her heart
hammered as his breath brushed over her lips. She didn’t know what
to say, not when the truth was right there between them. There was
no way Harly would have invited any man to stay at her home
overnight, much less had sex with him. It had been so natural with
Alex, so easy. But neither was it that straightforward.

“I don’t…”

“Don’t what?”
he encouraged quietly.

“It doesn’t
mean that I feel anything…romantic…for you.”

“It doesn’t
mean you don’t, either.”

She swallowed.
It was true. But she was still uncertain, it was all so new, so
unexpected.

And
so….exciting.

Frightening.

“I’m scared.”
The words came out without thought.

His eyes
warmed. “Just take it easy, Harly. There’s no rush.”

Mortified, she
glanced away. “I didn’t mean-”

“Yeah, you did.
But it’s okay.” His lips brushing lightly against her own had her
lashes lowering. Mortified she might be, but the firm silkiness of
his lips had the emotion slide away to be replaced with the
awareness of him.