Read The Law of Attraction Online
Authors: N. M. Silber
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Humorous
“Mr. Pierce.”
“Ms. Ginsberg. I have a different kind of privacy issue to discuss with you. I know that tomorrow is supposed to be your choice but my parents want us to spend the weekend. Is that too weird for you? I know we just started dating and we’re planning to get freaky tomorrow, so if it’s too weird, just tell me.”
“Are your parents going to be in the room when we get freaky?”
“They likely won’t even be in the house. They usually go out Friday nights after dinner. My younger brother and sister do too and I’m sure they’ll invite us along but I would rather stay in and have hot, sweaty monkey sex with you.”
“You’re sure that they want me to come too? Maybe they just want to spend time with you before the fundraiser thing.”
“I think that they
especially
want you to come. Have I mentioned that they think twenty-seven is a good age to start thinking about settling down? Like I said, if this is too much pressure after two dates, then I completely understand. They’re just extremely excited that I’m having a relationship of more than a couple of hours in duration. It’s been a while.”
“I’m okay with it, I guess, if you are. I’m sometimes a bit awkward around people I don’t know well yet, but I clean up pretty well and I could probably make myself presentable.”
“My brother Drew is much more socially awkward than you are.”
“Thanks.” I laughed. “He and I will probably get along well.”
“I’m sure he’ll
want
to get along well with you. He’s a twenty-three-year-old player.”
“You must be his hero.”
“I will be after he meets you. I’ll tell my mom it’s okay then, and that you can just stay with me. I’m sorry that this isn’t exactly the sexiest location for us to finally get to sleep together.”
“Braden, we made each other come in an interview room at the courthouse today.”
“That’s a good point.” He laughed. “That was also pretty impressive teamwork if I must say so myself. Are you in bed?”
“Yeah, I’m watching Antiques Roadshow.”
“Me too. So now we can say that we've watched TV in bed together.”
“When Mark and Adam ask?” There was silence on the other end. “Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I was just thinking about you being in bed with me. Today was just a stop gap. I need tomorrow night to get here quickly. Under other circumstances it might actually make
me
a little uncomfortable to get to know you biblically for the first time in my parents’ house, but I’m desperate. I'm starting to get really distracted and not always at convenient times. So should we finish the pre-sex talk so that we don’t have to worry about it later?”
“Sure,” I answered.
“Do you have a favorite position?”
“Whichever one I’m in at the moment. How about you?”
“All of them. How many sexual partners have you had?”
“Six, which includes the first one, even though that was a onetime encounter.”
“Your first time was a one night stand?”
“He wasn’t just some guy I met at a frat party. He was a friend. I thought he was more than that but he was too happy being a player.”
“How old were you?”
“Eighteen. I was a freshman at Yale and he was a sophomore. It’s weird, you remind me a little bit of him. You’re not going to sleep with me and then decide that we should just be friends, are you?”
“No. I always make it very clear upfront if I’m only interested in a one-night encounter and I don’t tend to wind up being friends with the women I have them with.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen, but my girlfriend was eighteen.”
“You gave it up for a cougar,” I teased.
“Why do I remind you of him?” he said, going back to the other topic. He seemed very interested in this.
“I don’t know. He was tall and exceptionally good-looking like you. He sounded very well educated and upper class. He was very popular and he hooked up a lot. He was planning to go to law school. You’re different in a lot of ways though too. You’re much funnier and you and I have many more interests in common. He was very much a nineteen-year-old. You just hang out with guys who act like they’re nineteen.”
“He should have made things clear before he slept with you.”
“I should have, too. In his defense, I don’t think he knew that I was a virgin and I don’t think he planned it. It just kind of happened. Besides, was it really surprising that a popular nineteen-year-old didn’t want to get too tied down? I should have brought it up beforehand like I did with you.”
“Yeah, by the time you got to me you were a crack negotiator. Good thing that Jessica was right and I wanted to agree with everything you asked for.”
“Well, I wanted to agree to hook up with you. So you’ll be lucky number seven.”
“I promise that you’ll get lucky. I’m going to let you go now so that you can rest up. I’m going to have some adrenaline and some testosterone flowing tomorrow.”
“Sleep well.”
“We’ll both sleep better tomorrow night.”
Friday
Commonwealth v. Franklin
“Your Honor, my client has no criminal record. The marijuana in this case was for personal use and represented a lapse in judgment, nothing more. We would like to work out a settlement with the District Attorney's Office in an effort to avoid prosecution.”
“Mr. Pierce?” Judge Channing asked.
“Normally that wouldn't be a problem Your Honor, but there was just so much marijuana involved in this case – nearly a pound.” Braden doubled checked his notes and glanced at my client.
“But, there were no packaging materials, no cutting materials, no large sums of money, no weapons, nothing to indicate that my client was dealing, so regardless of the amount, the evidence points to personal use.”
Judge Channing turned to my client with a withering look. “Ms. Franklin, how old are you?”
“Eighty-two in July, Judge, and still as lively as ever.” She smiled.
“Obviously,” he said scathingly. “And all of this marijuana was for you alone?”
“Well, it was my whole stash, honey,” she answered earnestly. I winced a little.
“Ms. Ginsberg has explained that you can't do this anymore?”
“Yes.” She sighed heavily. “It's not worth the trouble. I'm going back to whiskey.”
“That's good. I mean, well. That's… acceptable. Okay, I'm going to advise the District Attorney's office to work out an agreement for community service.”
“Understood, Your Honor,” Braden replied.
Ms. Franklin wobbled off as I returned to counsel table. Braden walked over to hand me the order.
“Seems like a fun gal,” he said.
“I'll trade you sexual favors for the old lady's freedom,” I joked quietly.
“You're on.”
“Mr. Pierce! Call the next case,” Judge Channing bellowed.
“Commonwealth v. Wagner!” Braden called. My client, dressed in a hat with ear-flaps and a tee-shirt with a picture of a smiling donkey and a caption that read, “I Lost my Ass in Las Vegas” walked forward. It boggled my mind that this morning when he had gone through his closet
that
had jumped out at him as the most appropriate thing to wear to court.
“What's this about?” Judge Channing asked, giving my client an irritated look.
“Your Honor,” Braden began, the Commonwealth will establish that on April 14th of this year Mr. Scott Wagner stopped Mr. Franklin Jordan with what turned out to be a toy gun, and demanded that he drive him around from ATM machine to ATM machine as he withdrew money from his
own
account. He’s charged with carjacking.”
“I’m asking for a psychiatric evaluation, Your Honor, and I request that my client remain out on bail.”
“Granted! Court adjourned. Get me out of here.” Judge Channing got up and left without saying goodbye. I was pretty sure that he was getting close to retirement.
Braden turned to me with a smile. That smile always caused my tummy to flip flop and it probably would even if we were together until I was Ms. Franklin's age.
“I’m going to drop these files off and then I’m going back to my place to finish packing, and look forward to having carnal knowledge of you tonight.”
“I like a man with goals.” We packed up our files.
“I’ll finally know what it feels like to go au natural
,
” he said with a wicked smile.
“Come as you are,” I joked.
“Oh, that was
really
bad!” We grabbed our briefcases and headed out of the courtroom and toward the elevators.
We discussed some details about the day's cases on the elevator ride down and then said goodbye at the door to the criminal courts building as we headed off to our respective offices. I could swear I heard him whistling as he walked away. Even though I was a bit less obvious about it, I too was quite happy at the thought of once again entering the world of the sexually active. The fact that I would be making my re-entry with Braden was still pretty amazing to me. This man had starred in nearly all of the recent fantasies that accompanied those very special “private” moments alone in my room at night with my battery-operated friend.
I got back to my office and filed my paperwork. Jess wasn't back yet. My phone buzzed and I saw my dad’s number. I had spoken to my mom earlier in the week, so I knew that he had been briefed.
“So, honey, how’d you meet this guy? In court?”
“Yeah. We’re always in front of the same judge. I was interested in him for a while, and Jess kept saying that she thought he liked me too, so one night when I saw him out I flirted with him.”
“
You
flirted with
him
?” He sounded dubious.
“Yeah, I flirted. I can flirt. I may not do it a lot, but I'm capable.”
“Hey, I'm not complaining. I was starting to worry that you were going to become one of those ladies with all the cats. I'm glad you found somebody you like. I like his dad’s politics too by the way. He’s a smart guy. Of course I can’t tell anybody that after that piece in the paper or somebody might read too much into it and harass you or something.”
“What do you mean?”
“Thanks to my friends at the Times, the extremists think I’m trying to control the government and the conspiracy nuts think that I already control the government. Now my daughter’s dating a senator’s son. Who knows what they’ll come up with?”
“I don’t care what they say. I don't take dating advice from conspiracy nuts and extremists.”
“Just be careful, sweetheart and if anybody bothers you let me know. I'm not exactly strapped for cash. I could arrange for you to have some security, or at least a very good alarm system. If nothing else I'll buy you a nice dog.”
“I appreciate it, but I'm more worried about saying something stupid when I meet his family than I am about some guy who thinks he saw Jim Morrison working at Wendy’s.”
“Hey, don’t you be nervous. Anybody would be lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Your mom and I would be really happy if it worked out. At least we would know that this guy wasn’t after your money. He could probably even help you figure out what to do with it.”
“Good. Maybe you could worry a little less then. I love you. Tell Ma I said, “hi.”
“Okay sweetheart, I love you too. Have fun with the guy you picked up.”
* * *
At five-thirty on the dot I was stowing my overnight bag and a garment bag in the trunk of Braden's BMW. Even with rush-hour traffic it wouldn't be very long until we reached the Pierce home in the suburbs. Braden was still in a very good mood and I sensed that it wasn't just because he would be getting lucky later. I suspected that he was genuinely happy to see his family. Hopefully, that meant that he had very nice parents. He did say that his family was exceptionally close. I also hoped that he was right about them not minding if we shared a room.
“So, did your ex-girlfriends share a room with you?”
“I’ve never invited any of them to stay with my family. I should warn you that my parents are probably going to find it significant that I invited you, and they may throw out a few hints.”
“Believe me, you haven't experienced hinting until you've met Ben and Judy Ginsberg.”
“Oh yeah?” He glanced at me again with an amused look.
“Don’t be surprised if you go to shake my dad’s hand and he gives you a stack of college brochures for our future children.”
“He doesn’t own a shotgun or anything, does he?” Braden joked.
“Are you kidding me? My father considers spicy food to be a deadly weapon. He probably would have backed you in that burrito case. Besides, he’s a businessman. He just destroys people financially.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“To tell you the truth my father is my hero. I’ve always said that he’s like the most romantic guy in the universe because he comes from a pretty impressive family but he married my mom even though her family is completely nuts.”
“He must love her.”
“Yeah he does, and she loves him.” I smiled.
“I’d like to meet them.”
“I’ll introduce you to them. It’s just the rest of my relatives that I’ll have to hide from you.”
“I think that you’ll like my parents. They’re nice people and they love each other a lot too.”
“Thanks for introducing me to them. That’s nice.”
“I apologize in advance for everything that comes out of my brother’s mouth.”
“Ha! You should meet my bubbe! That’s my grandmother. She’s the most offensive person I know.”
* * *
It wasn't much longer before we left the highway and started driving along more country-like roads, peppered with gorgeous homes. Eventually we pulled into a long drive and approached a Georgian-style house with a gray stone facade and white trim. My family's brownstone on the Upper East Side was stylish, but this place was beautiful. It looked very spacious and I guessed that it had at least five or six bedrooms.
As we got out of the car a group of people came out to meet us. They all immediately headed straight for Braden and then there was a lot of hugging going on. Even though Braden wasn't far away from here, they were, obviously, a close family. There was certainly no question that they were related. This was one attractive group of tall blonde people. Braden's father was handsome and distinguished-looking, the gold streaks in his hair mixed with gray. He didn't have the aggressively friendly demeanor that a lot of politicians have, but rather, he seemed laid back and genuinely warm. Braden's mother was beautiful. She had dark blonde hair and the same blue eyes that Braden had. Eyes, which at the moment were fixed on me, and thankfully, looked friendly.