The Last Whisper of the Gods (16 page)

“I could leave Vantok. Ain’t much keeping me here.”

“Take the duke’s offer. Learn how to fight. Become a comrade in arms with the other men there. Woo Lady Alicia and prove to her father you be worthy of her. Take pity on your mother. Have patience and know all things will be revealed in their time. I told you things today, lad, because it were time for you to know them.”

Sorial thought long and hard about Warburm’s advice, ignoring only one thing. He couldn’t just
forget
or
be patient
.
Two days later, he informed Warburm he would be leaving the inn to enter Duke Carannan’s service as a man at arms.

* * *

Life as a guard-in-training in Duke Carannan’s private militia was vastly different from anything Sorial had hitherto experienced. As Warburm’s principal stableboy, he had been accustomed to a degree of autonomy - running the stable as he saw fit, exercising control over his domain. Not so here. Of the five-dozen men employed by the duke, Sorial was the most junior and one of his duties was to fetch and carry for those older and more grizzled. Privacy was also a thing of the past. He had exchanged a solo room in the inn for a barracks chamber that housed nineteen men in addition to himself.

He worked non-stop from an hour before dawn until an hour after dusk. Much of his day was spent doing menial chores like cleaning the barracks, mucking the stable (something he had familiarity with and which was therefore given to him as his chief assignment), and polishing arms and armor. Every morning, he was given two hours of horsemanship and an hour of archery. Every afternoon, he practiced with sword and knife and sparred with others using fisticuffs. There wasn’t a night when Sorial didn’t go to sleep bruised and sore.

Despite his youth and inexperience, Sorial had the respect of his fellows before he arrived. It wasn’t only because of the Duke’s personal sponsorship; the details of the stable fight had been disseminated throughout the city. Despite their prowess with weapons, few of Carannan’s men-at-arms were blooded. Most could disarm Sorial without much effort, but he had done something only a handful of them could claim: he had killed in combat.

He was given one day off per week, and he often spent it in the company of Rexall. On those occasions when his friend was busy, he sought out Brindig and Darrin, who were now more like older brothers than protectors. The watchmen were delighted with Sorial’s choice of career, although they encouraged him to give up the “play posse” of the nobleman and do the honest work of defending the whole city. There was no doubt the Watch was being stretched these days and a persistent rumor indicated the king was going to institute conscription to swell its ranks. As unpopular as that would be, Brindig and Darrin thought of it as a welcome necessity. Rexall, predictably, wasn’t enthusiastic. He had no desire to carry a weapon or patrol Vantok’s streets. Even as Sorial’s determination to leave the city dimmed, Rexall’s waxed. For him, the life of a rootless wanderer was infinitely preferable to that of a militiaman.

Since arriving on the duke’s property, Sorial had seen little of the family. He had passed a few friendly words with Carannan and gotten a wave from Vagrum, but that was it. In two weeks, he hadn’t so much as caught a glimpse of Alicia. He couldn’t seek her out, either. There was a strict code regarding how the militia could interact with the family. Guards could be approached but not do the approaching. If Sorial and Alicia were to meet, it would be at her initiative. Thus far…nothing. Sorial wondered if she knew he was working for her father.

Since leaving The Wayfarer’s Comfort, Sorial hadn’t gone back. Although his intuition told him that Warburm’s role in his life was far from over, he had no desire to prolong their relationship at this time. His mother and the innkeeper had both held out the promise that on some undefined future day all would be made clear. Sorial wondered if that day would be when he lay on his deathbed withering away of old age.

He was sitting on his bunk polishing his boots when he heard the voice he had been awaiting. “Have you settled in?”

Sorial did as instructed by Sergeant Rotgut, rising and executing a perfunctory bow. “Aye, M’lady.”

Alicia stifled a giggle. “Such formality, stableboy. You’ll never be a courtier. Perhaps I should give you lessons on how to greet nobility properly.”

Sorial frowned, annoyed by her teasing. This was more the Alicia he remembered from various random encounters than the girl who had tended him when he was recovering.

“I’m told you figured out one end of a sword from the other. That man… what’s his name?... Oh yes, Rotgut. Well, Rotgut claims that, given time, you might become proficient. I have my doubts but I’ll keep an open mind. That’s why I gave you the pig-sticker in the first place. And at least I know where to turn should my room be invaded by a mouse.”

“Is that what you came here to say, M’lady?”

“In part,” she said. “Will you walk with me a little ways or am I taking you away from your duties?”

Sorial was tempted to remark that polishing his boots offered greater pleasure but he bit back his words. He was a guard and she was the duke’s daughter; he couldn’t treat her as he had before. More than class separated them now.

“As you wish.” He fell into step with her as she exited the barracks. He got a few odd looks from those of his fellows who were present. None of them had been invited by the Lady Alicia to go for a stroll but, considering her notoriously sharp tongue, most believed that her beauty was better viewed from a distance. They didn’t know whether to envy Sorial or feel sympathy.

As they wandered in silence across the practice yard and into the heat-withered gardens surrounding the main house, Sorial noted Vagrum shadowing them at a discreet distance. Even within the confines of the duke’s lands, he was never far away. Sorial nodded in his direction and got a wave in return.

Alicia noticed the object of his attention. “Don’t mind him. He’s like a trained dog. Always there if I need to whistle. The only time I have privacy is when I lock myself in my chamber at night. Lying in bed, that’s when I think of you.”

The admission was so unexpected that it caught him off guard. She laughed at his expression.

“Why so surprised, stableboy? Can you deny you think about me that way?”

Sorial didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure what was safe to say. The rules between them were different. Her body language told him that.

“Maybe you don’t,” she conceded, chewing on her lower lip. “After all, you had Annie. You know what it’s like to rumple the sheets in the dark. I haven’t had anyone. It’s all a mystery to me, but I can use my imagination.”

They had stopped mid-way between the barracks and the house. Although there were plenty of Sorial’s fellows about, none was paying the couple any attention. The only one watching them was Vagrum, and his attention was lazy. He was surveying two boys dueling with wooden swords while only occasionally glancing in his charge’s direction.

“I’ve been here for two weeks and ain’t seen you. I thought…”

“I wanted to give you time to get used to your new surroundings before I complicated your life. Besides, you could have sought me out.”

“We ain’t allowed to. It’s against regulations.”

“No,” said Alicia. “
They’re
not allowed to.” She swept her hand, her gesture encompassing the barracks and the practice yard. “You, on the other hand, are
my
stableboy and that affords you special privileges. You should take advantage of them.”

“I don’t want to be an outsider. I want to be one of them. And the rules say we can’t approach one of your family unless you approach us first.”

“Rules are meant to be broken and I know from your excursions to the river that you’re a rule breaker. Think how much more fun it will be meeting if we’re not supposed to! Shall I wait in my room for you to sneak in?”

“It ain’t that easy.”

“No,” conceded Alicia. “It isn’t. In fact, it’s impossible, which is a shame because we could have a lot of fun if you could. But Vagrum and those two guards who are always posted outside wouldn’t let you pass. Of course, eventually you’ll be one of those guards.”

“Me?”

“Yes.” She seemed annoyed by his apparent obtuseness. “Why else do you think Father brought you here? To watch over the withering crops or keep vagrants and loiterers like your friend Rexall from using the river? You were requisitioned from the inn to be in my personal guard. In due time, of course. Once you’ve learned to use a sword without cutting yourself and once you can hit a target with an arrow or a bullet. Then you’ll be mine to order as I see fit. And I can think of some very good orders to give.”

“You arranged this?”

“Of course. I can be very persuasive if I want. And in this case I wanted.”

“Why?”

Alicia frowned. “I think that’s obvious, unless you’re more of a dullard than I give you credit for, stableboy.”

Sorial considered. “There’s something else going on, something you and I ain’t seeing. Something that has to do with Warburm, your father, and my parents.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve said something like that, and Annie made a similar remark. You see conspiracies everywhere, don’t you?”

“Why would your father, one of the most powerful and respected of Vantok’s nobility and a member of the king's council, visit a place like The Wayfarer’s Comfort? It ain’t one of the city’s posh watering holes and he weren’t there to meet a mistress or hire a whore. Before I came here, Warburm admitted to a connection. Some sort of secret society. He wouldn’t say much about it, but somehow my mother and father are involved

“I thought you didn’t know who your father was.”

“I don’t. But Warburm does. And your father may, as well.”

Alicia became quiet as she puzzled over the information Sorial had provided. He could sense her mind working, trying to fit together the same pieces he had struggled with for so long. Suddenly, she became animated.

“Could your father be a noble?”

Sorial shrugged. He had no idea and said as much. “I doubt it, though,” he added. “If I was high-born, there wouldn’t be no reason for me to spend most of my life as a stableboy while my mother hid in a farmhouse.”

“I wonder…” mused Alicia. “A lot of things about you - and
us
- would make sense if your father was more than some random man your mother used to ward off a cold Winter night in the North.”

“There
is
something going on. I just haven’t figured out
what
.”

“In that case, you’ll need my help. And the first thing we have to do is find out who your father is.”

At that moment, back in the yard, a cowbell rang, indicating a change in practice shifts. “I got to go. Time for me to play swords and daggers with the big boys. They’re all impressed by the knife you gave me.”

“I’ll be watching,” said Alicia. “Stab someone for me. Just not yourself.”

Following his lengthy discussion with Warburm, hardly a day passed when Sorial didn’t contemplate a visit to Kara. The impulse was part curiosity - maybe once she knew what the innkeeper had told him, she might relax her stance and reveal more - and part guilt. He was embarrassed by the way he had treated her.
Everything she’s done has been done out of love for you.
If she truly was as much of a victim of circumstances as he was, she was deserving of more sympathy.

The final push to relent came from Alicia, who had become his confidant. Their relationship, though not without an element of sexual frisson, had turned companionable. They had become to one another what each needed: a friend.

“You have to see her,” Alicia urged. It was a broiling afternoon soon after Sorial’s sixteenth birthday. The two of them, drenched in sweat that made their garments cling to their bodies, were resting in the shade of a tree close to the duke’s estate. Vagrum and Alicia’s pair of personal guards were nearby, under another such tree, looking like they would prefer to be somewhere cooler. Vagrum was especially distressed, as his big body wasn’t built for this climate. Aside from the five of them, there were no signs of life. In this heat, the guards trained and practiced only in the early morning and late evening hours.

“You sound like Warburm,” he remarked.
Or my conscience
.

“He be right.” Alicia’s imitation of the innkeeper’s accent brought a smile to Sorial’s face. “Seriously, though, you can’t despise her for this. If there’s anyone who’s suffered more than you, it’s her. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a son who avoided me, especially in these circumstances. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be angry, but you’re carrying things too far. It’s obvious she loves you; I wish I could say the same about my own mother.”

“It ain’t that I
hate
my mother. I’m just frustrated by what she won’t tell me.”

“She doesn’t know that. You don’t visit. At best, that can be seen as indifference.”

“I know.” Sorial chewed on one nail.

Alicia glanced over at Vagrum to make sure he wasn’t watching too closely - both recognized that any show of intimacy, no matter how innocent, would be relayed to the duke - then laid a comforting hand on Sorial’s arm. “I’ll go with you.”

“You’ll what?”

“Go with you. I want to meet your mother. I’m sure she and I will get along famously. You’re a source of exasperation and tribulation to both of us.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” said Sorial. “She might think there’s…”

“…something between us? Isn’t there?” Alicia’s voice dropped to a whisper even though no one was close enough to hear. It was the closest either had come to openly admitting how things stood between them. Without a doubt, they were friends. They both wanted more.

He saw reflected in her green eyes the conflict that dogged him night and day. She wanted reassurance. She wanted to know that class and station didn’t matter, that society’s rigid conventions could be circumvented.
Some rules are made to be broken
. Warburm had counseled him to woo her and fight for her. Prove to her father that he could be as good a match as the man to whom she was betrothed. Could he do that? More importantly, was it the right thing - not just for him, but for her as well: asking her to give up a life as the pampered wife of a powerful
someone
? She might say “yes,” but he suspected she wouldn’t understand what she was agreeing to. Impulsiveness trumped wisdom. He didn’t know where his future was headed but the assassination attempt hinted it wasn’t going to be free of danger or tribulation. To drag Alicia along with him…there lay the potential path to resentment and recrimination.

“You can’t be intimidated by what I am, by who my father is,” she said. “We’ve known each other for years now, but we’ve danced around talking about our feelings because it’s a hopeless match. But nothing is hopeless if you want it enough. If you’re willing to make the sacrifices. Here in Vantok, it’s true - we’re a duke’s daughter and a peasant. But in any other city, we could be wanderers from the South - newly married, looking to start a life. It doesn’t take much effort to create a new identity. You just have to want it enough. To take the last step.”

“Are you saying you’d run away with me?”

She nodded almost imperceptibly. “If that’s what it takes, stableboy.”

“We’d kill each other.”

She laughed. “Probably. But everyone dies sometime, somehow. So I ask you again: Isn’t there something between us?”

“Yes.” His finger reached up to trace the curve of her face. He remembered kissing her, and wanted more than anything to do it again. But he jerked away his hand as if burned when he saw Vagrum looking in their direction. He had to remember that he and Alicia were never truly alone. She was always under someone’s watchful eye. Running away, if it came to it, wouldn’t be as easy as she proposed. For perhaps the first time, he noticed the bars on her cage.

“So, you’ll take me with you when you visit your mother?” she asked, bringing them back to the topic at hand. He realized she had outmaneuvered him. Again.

He signed, knowing he was beaten. “If your father allows it, I guess I ain’t got no choice.”

“No, stableboy, you don’t. Eventually you’ll figure out that I have a way with men. They argue with me but in the end, they give in. It may take a while, but eventually I’ll have you trained.”

Getting the duke’s approval for Alicia to leave the estate - not to mention travel to the other side of the city and into the farmlands situated there - proved to be a major obstacle. Although Sorial had been training for nearly a full season, he wasn’t yet proficient enough with any weapon for Alicia’s safety to be trusted to him.

“Absolutely not,” declared Carannan when his daughter approached him about the possibility. They were in the cool confines of a converted sitting room that had once been the mansion’s wine cellar. “It’s out of the question. Sorial is free to visit his mother whenever he likes, but you aren’t leaving this property. Need I remind you…”

“Father, we were taken unprepared and at night. This time, the entire journey will be during the day at a time of the year when hardly anyone’s traveling the roads. And I’ll have both Sorial and Vagrum in case of trouble.”

“With all due respects to your abilities,” said Carannan, looking at Sorial, who was standing in the background trying to look unobtrusive. “You still have a great deal to learn before you’re ready to assume full duty as a member of my militia. Your sergeant, Rotgut, tells me you have enormous potential, but it takes more than ten weeks to turn a stableboy into a soldier.”

“I agree, sir.”

Alicia shot him a withering glance. He could read the words in her eyes:
If you’re not going to be helpful, keep your mouth shut
.

“Sorial has killed two men. How many of your guards can make that claim? I’d trust Sorial with my life before any of my other ‘protectors’, except Vagrum.”

“He’ll be happy for the vote of confidence,” said Carannan dryly. “My intent isn’t to question Sorial’s integrity or impugn his skill, but to point out that you shouldn’t be placed in a position where you need him or anyone else to protect you.”

“I will
not
be a captive on this estate!” Alicia exploded, stamping her foot for emphasis. The action made her look like a petulant child, not a woman blossoming on the cusp of adulthood. “You’ve kept me here for my whole life! Other than Sorial, I have no friends. I’ve lived in isolation. In two seasons, I’ll reach my Maturity. I’ll be damned if I enter womanhood cowering on my father’s estate, hiding behind his small army of guards!”

Sorial blanched at Alicia’s outburst, but Carannan, accustomed to his daughter’s occasional displays of temper, merely sighed.

“Take two experienced guards in addition to Vagrum and Sorial, and you can go. I expect you to be home well before dusk. The last thing I want to do is send out a search party. That would make me
very
cross.”

So it was that the next morning, a company of five traveled to Lamanar and Kara’s small farm. At this time of the year, in the face of the unrelenting heat, the fields lay fallow, the soil having been baked into hard, crumbly chunks. Nothing, not even the heartiest of weeds, could grow in this climate. Lamanar, like all of Vantok’s farmers, wouldn’t plant until the rains returned and the weather cooled enough for the seeds to have a chance of survival.

Alicia and Vagrum were mounted with the guards on foot. Sorial led the way with his compatriots, older veterans Silvan and Sergeant Rotgut, bringing up the rear. During the long journey through the city streets and into the northeastern provinces, all was quiet. They encountered a few merchant caravans but, other than that, everyone was inside. The roads, made of a cracked clay that hadn’t drunk water in weeks, were as hard as stone.

As they approached Lamanar and Kara’s cottage, Alicia dismounted and left her mare with Vagrum and the two soldiers. They had agreed to remain here, close enough to come to her aid if needed but far enough away to afford a modicum of privacy. Vagrum was conscious of balancing his mistresses’ desire for freedom with her safety. She was no longer a little girl and, as a young woman approaching her adulthood, she deserved space. For her part, Alicia had agreed to make this a short visit so her escort didn’t have to bake under the sun’s baleful glare for an extended period. There was no shade in the fields.

Kara answered Sorial’s knock, her careworn features coming alive when she saw her son. She let out a yelp of joy and threw her arms around him. Sorial returned the embrace awkwardly. When they parted, he introduced his companion.

“Mother, this is Lady Alicia of House Carannan.”

Alicia smiled and executed a flawless curtsy.

Kara examined the young woman closely, her eyes darting between Alicia and her son several times before she said, “You’re most welcome to my humble abode, Milady. My husband and I are unused to having such an august guest. You will find out home much different from what you are accustomed to.”

She chose poverty in the house of a man she don’t love just to be close to you.

“Is Lamanar…?” began Sorial.

“He’s at a tavern in the city, doing what farmers do all day in this forsaken heat - drinking away the little of their money that remains. In fact, I believe he’s at the inn where you worked until not long ago. Since Warburm released you from your contract, he’s been going there often. Won’t you come in? It’s more bearable inside, out of the direct sunlight. And your escort as well?” She gestured toward Vagrum, Silvan, Rotgut, and the horses.

“They have their waterskins and we won’t be long,” said Alicia.

“Of course.”

The house looked no different from the last time Sorial had visited. He refused his mother’s offer to sit, being accustomed to standing for long periods. Alicia sat opposite Kara, the slightness of her form evident in the large chair. Her feet didn’t reach the ground. The air inside was stale but cooler than in the yard.

“So you’re the Lady Alicia,” said Kara. “You’re prettier than I expected. Since my son mentioned you, I made it my business to learn as much about you as possible.”

It was a remarkable greeting and neither Sorial nor Alicia knew quite how to respond. Kara didn’t wait for an answer. “I assume you’re here for answers.” There was no equivocation in her voice. “How much has Warburm told you?”

Surprised as he was by his mother’s forthrightness, Sorial didn’t hesitate. He had rehearsed a brief apology. “Enough to realize I ain’t been fair to you. In all this, I thought ’bout my pain without realizing how much it might hurt you.”

Kara smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in the expression. “Warburm has a talent for getting people to feel guilty. What did he tell you, that I cry myself to sleep every night pining for the loss of a son for whom I’ve sacrificed everything?”

“Something like that.”

“I can assure you that’s not the case. Don’t mistake me, Sorial - I love you and have shed my share of tears over the years for you and myself. But I’m not as fragile as the innkeeper imagines, or tries to get you to imagine. I made my choices long ago and don’t regret them. I knew you’d resent me when you knew the half-truths about your birth, but I also knew there would come a time when you’d
understand
and hopefully forgive. That day approaches.”

“Still, I should have...”

“I hold you blameless, Sorial. There’s guilt aplenty to go around - me, Lamanar, Warburm, and many others share it - but none is yours. You’re a victim caught in a web of circumstance, an innocent we’ve all manipulated.” Having said that, she turned to Alicia. “As are you, Milady. To you as much as to my son, I extend my apology and ask your forgiveness.”

Alicia was startled. “You have it, although I don’t…”

“I hope you feel the same way when the full extent of my culpability becomes evident.”

The statement chilled the atmosphere in a room that was stiflingly close.

“Now,” Kara said, returning her attention to her son. “What did Warburm tell you?”

Sorial recounted his conversation with the innkeeper.