The Last Rain (30 page)

And “our cause is just”?

Babies’ shoes need no explaining

A civilization gone in one blow

To dream perhaps will heal the wounds

And so with shame seeing nought

We go on building.

What gives us the right to reap the fruit of trees we have not planted? On what moral grounds shall we stand when we take ourselves to court?

Because we have taken upon ourselves the task of Pioneers and because Pioneering is more than the romantic notion of coming to a clean, untouched land and planting one’s own clean, fresh seeds. Because building a homeland requires more than physical sacrifice, dirty hands and a bent back—it requires a spiritual struggle and a spiritual sacrifice. Because we must learn to translate our final ideology into the reality of a nation’s fight for existence, and if that reality should require the accomplishments of tasks which are painful to us, all the more will it strengthen us. And only we can camp on the borders.

Because once a Jewish community stood here and a Jewish community will again arise. (Indeed can it be said that Eldar itself belongs to any one nation throughout the ages of men’s existence?) For those who died in the concentration camps and the battles bequeath to us our life here.

Let the nation remember those who were cut down in Exile and did not live to see the glory of Israel—

Let the nation remember the brave sons who fell among the ghetto walls—

Let the nation remember the sons and daughters who died on the cruel waves and thorny roads on the way to their homeland—

Let the nation remember the best of its children, strong of heart and pure of vision, who bore arms in defence of the life of Israel, its independence and its freedom.

36
. In the 1967 diary I recount a small sequel to these events:

In the middle of my nap, I heard someone walking around. I opened my eyes and sat up in bed.

Elan, I said. Shoshana untied you?

Oh yes, he answered, a long time ago.

Probably a guilty conscience.

37
. From the memoirs of Yehuda Polani, quoted in Yuval Dror,
The History of Kibbutz Education
.

38
. The image originated in an illustration of mythological figures in Ancient Greece.

39
. This would be the Chubby Checkers version, currently available on YouTube.

40
. The Hebrew for “horse” is
sus.

41
. Hebrew for cyclamen.

42
.
Anokhi
is a biblical term for the first person pronoun “I”; it is obsolete in Modern Hebrew, other than in poetry. For the painting Dori associates with Anokhi see
The Wanderer
by George Grosz (1893–1959). The original hangs at the University of Rochester Memorial Art Gallery.

43
.

44
. October 5, 1973: Shoshana, whom I’ve asked to see, sits on a deck chair outside her Room, dressed entirely in black. She appears to be at ease; she’s taking time off, enjoying the afternoon sun. I say hello and introduce myself. Shoshana shades her eyes and says, “I remember you. You had a good trick for getting rid of hiccups. Block your ears with both hands and drink a glass of water in one go. It worked.”

45
. In order to boost the thinning population of Eldar, the Young Guard Federation encouraged a group of young Israel-born adults to join Eldar in 1954. Most were recruited from the Young Guard Youth Movement. A second group followed four years later. In both cases, most of the new arrivals did not last, and by 1960, only 14 percent of the Israel-born members remained. In 1961 the population hovered at 102 adults, 59 kibbutz-born children, and 42 city-born children; a year later it was down to 60 adults. (See Snarey, 1984)

“Every time we sat down for a meal in the Dining Hall, if he was sitting at that table he’d get up and move to another table. He was a heartless man.”

—
Interview with Naftali Satie

46
. Mess or chaotic situation.

47
.
The Songs We Sing
, illustrated by Hendrik Willem van Loon (1882–1944). The book was a gift for Varda from Dafna, later Lulu’s mother, and the handwritten inscription reads:

12/2/47

Dear Chavera
[comrade]
—

It has been a real joy to me—your finding the Tongue to the magnificent language of music—keep using it—add to your vocabulary daily—turn and twist your new-found idioms until they become your own—

Wait for me—and together we will speak—in the voice of the world—

Dafna

48
. Inn or pub.

49
. From Yuval Dror,
The History of Kibbutz Education.

50
. From the 1922–1944 diary of a young man known only as Takh
_.
i, member of a Young Guard commune engaged in paving a road in lower Haifa and then in swamp drainage and stone clearing; the commune later founded Kibbutz Mishmar Ha’emek.

51
. DDT.

52
. The Hebrew for “storm” is
sa’ara
.

53
. “The Brave One”; the film won a 1957 Academy Award for best story, though the writer, Dalton Trumbo (of
Johnny Got His Gun
fame), was blacklisted at the time on suspicion of communist affiliation and could not claim it.

54
. Pansies

55
.