The Last Legion: Book One of the Last Legion Series (8 page)

“Uh … hi,” she managed, nodding rapidly.

“This is our countermeasures yoodle,” Dill said. “Ho Kang. Garvin Jaansma. She’s a
finf
, so I’m the only one with rank enough to call her a yoodle.”

“Uh … hi,” she said again, promptly dismissed Garvin, and turned to Dill.

“Ben, I’m still getting false echoes on the close-scope. I tried tracking him around the ACV and got six people. Dancing.”

“Ho,” Dill said patiently, “if I put that in the logbook, they’ll redline us, and do you have any idea how long it’ll be before we get parts?” He nodded at Garvin. “Our newbie here was on the ship that got ‘jacked, which probably had all the goodies we’ve been whining for.”

“Oh.” Kang readmitted Garvin’s existence. “They got everything?”

“Ship and all.”

“Who was
they
?” she wanted to know.

“Uh … I’m supposed to say it was pirates.”

“But who was it for real?”

“I’m in enough trouble,” Jaansma said. “I’ll stick with pirates.”

“I wish pirates,” Ho said wistfully. “A lot more colorful than those stupid bandits who call themselves The Movement, or the Musth, who never do anything except posture. Dammit, I want … I need … a fight!”

“We’ll feed him a couple of beers and find out the real story later,” Gorecki said. “Meantime, how do we fix that close-range pickup? I really like knowing when somebody’s creeping up on me with a grenade.”

Kang glanced around, making sure she wasn’t overheard. “I could do it myself,” she said, “if it weren’t illegal, probably figure out a patch and pick up some stuff next time I get into Leggett. But who pays?”

Dill dug into the pocket of his coveralls, took out bills. “Here. If it’s more, I’ll come up with it.”

The money disappeared into Kang’s pocket.

“See what some people’ll do to make
tweg
?” Gorecki asked. “Even spend their own coin to look good.”

“Look good hell,” Dill said. “This rustbucket breaks one more time, and it’ll be a hangar queen and we’ll all be on permanent sol vent-tub duty. I’m just looking out for your best interests.”

Garvin was lost yet again.

“See,” Dill explained, “that’s this strike force’s problem. We look real good on the surface … hell, you could shave in the reflection on this piece of shit.” He slapped the side of the Grierson. “But ask it … or anything else to run for longer’n about a klick … that’s another thing.”

“The motor pool’s got shit in the way of supplies,” Gorecki added, “but gods help anybody who fixes something with a nonauthorized part. So around here if you break down, you stay broke down and the asshole first
tweg
finds other duties for you. Shoveling shit.”

“Which brings up another problem,” Dill said. “How much training do you have?”

“None,” Garvin said honestly. “I was told I’d be trained when I got to my unit.”

“Just swell,” Dill said. “As long as we’re on the list of what we ain’t got, try a budget for training exercises, ammo for training, rockets for training, try everything but fuel.”

“We’ve got simulators,” Kang said.

“Kang thinks sitting in a nice warm place shooting at things that don’t really shoot back is the way to learn how to be a hero,” Dill said. “She’s a few microns short of a circuit.”

“Better than nothing,” the woman said stubbornly.

“Not much,” Dill said. “You see, Jaansma? It ain’t nothin’ like the livies. Welcome to Strike Force Limp Dick.”

• • •

Alt
Jon Hedley was less seated than sprawled atop his desk. His office would’ve been quite large if it weren’t for the map racks, the several viewers, computers, and the map table that devoured space.

“Welcome to Intelligence and Reconnaissance,” he said, holding out a hand. Njangu blinked at the informality, but tapped it.

“Since we have our own way of doing things, we figure we should have our own flipping way of training people. We just started a cycle with four eagerly baying locals two weeks gone. You’ll be able to drop right in.”

He glanced at the bulking, slightly going-to-seed senior
tweg
standing behind Njangu. “Reb, would you mind buzzing Monique and ask her to drop in if she’s in the company area?”

“Right, boss.”

Njangu’s eyebrows lifted. Hedley caught it.

“This is a good place for instant flipping orientation,” he said. “We have a few rules. First is that we’re all flipping volunteers. Mess up, and you’re devolunteered back into one of the regiments to become part of the madding herd.

“Second is not to get a big flipping head. We’re nothing more than crunchies who happen to work in small lots. What we do, we do faster, better, and dirtier’n anybody else. So don’t go bragging about how billyjo-bad you are and pushing civilians or the herd around when you’re outside the company area. Starting a fight is another reason to get punted out. Especially if you don’t win.

“I said we’re dirty, but when we’re not, we’re the cleanest. We depil, we bathe, we keep the boots shined and the uniforms as clean as we can. Any idiot can be a pig. We’re not idiots.

“Three is that we’ve got our own ways, which aren’t anybody’s business but ours. I saw you look a bit surprised when I called Senior
Tweg
Gonzales by his first name, and he called me boss. But if there’d been an outsider around, I would have used his full rank and last name, and he would’ve called me sir.

“You can call people whatever you want … or, more precisely, what they’ll allow you to. Senior
Tweg
Gonzales, for instance, happens to have about seven campaigns and two major wars behind him, so if you called him Reb when he comes back, he’d probably hammer you into a thin paste suitable for wallpaper. Save that for when you’re trained and on a team. Or better yet, after you’ve been shot at a time or two.

“As I said, our business is our business. Keep it that way, and you’ll be a credit to I&R.

“Petr Kipchak … who I just punted up to
finf
, because nobody stays in the flipping ranks in I&R if they’re good, unless they want to … recommended you, and Reb thinks he’s a good man, which is why I asked personnel if you’d be interested in volunteering. Don’t screw up and make Petr … and me … out to be a liar.”

“Nossir,” Yoshitaro said, relaxing in the warmth of Hedley’s smile.

The door came open and Senior
Tweg
Gonzales came in, accompanied by one of the more beautiful women Njangu had ever seen. She had close-cropped blond hair and an athletic body. As for her face … Njangu remembered a song he’d always hated, with the stupid lyric of “bee-kissed lips,” and wondered what the hell a bee was. He still didn’t know, but thought it looked pretty good.

“You wanted me, boss?”

“I did,” Hedley said. “This piece of meat is yours. Njangu Yoshitaro, this is
Dec
Monique Lir, our training NCO and First Troop Gamma Team Leader. You’ll find out that most of us wear at least two hats.

“I’m unit CO, which is a
cent’s
slot, and Second Troop Leader, Reb is Company First Sergeant, which is a first
tweg
position, and so forth. The TO&E says we should have four officers, we’ve got myself and
Aspirant
Vauxhall, who’s XO and First Troop Leader. If you qualify for I&R, you’ll find yourself doing a couple of jobs, too.

“That’s about it. Monique, take this disgustingly soft former civilian from my sight and transform him into something acceptable.” Hedley’s voice was just as friendly as it’d been a minute earlier.

“ ’Kay, boss,” the woman said. “You … out!”

Njangu saluted, Hedley unwound from the desk, returned the salute, and smiled gently.

“Try to have some flipping fun.”

• • •

Garvin woke up with a headache.

“That’s that,” Dill said.

“What’s what?”

“You’ve seen the holos, where newbies spend all their time marching back and forth, getting hollered at by drill
twegs
and such?”

“Sure,” Jaansma said. “Can I get up?”

“Do it.”

Garvin slid out of the contoured chair, rubbed his arm where Dill had given him the injection three hours earlier.

“Now, about all that square-bashing,” Dill said. “Group … ten-hup!”

Garvin, without willing it, slammed to rigid erectness, his hands at his side, slightly curled, his feet together, and his head tucked firmly into his chin.

“ ‘Bout … hace!”

Garvin lifted his right foot, put his toe behind his left heel, and pivoted through 180 degrees.

“I could march you back and forth and up and down,” the
dec
said. “Make you do squads right about, flanking movements, and all that swaddle.

“You’d do it like you’d spent ten years on a parade ground. No muss, no fuss, one hypno-conditioning and three hours in the chair, and you’ve got it, without even one lousy little bead of sweat or blister.”

Garvin felt his skin crawl. “That conditioning could’ve trained me to do anything?”

“Yep,” Dill said. “That’s why the injection can only be given by an officer, and a responsible medical team must be present during the application.” He laughed. “See how careful the army is about your rights?”

Dill’s laugh cut off as he saw Garvin’s expression.

“Sorry. Guess it isn’t funny the first time. The real answer is no … this kind of conditioning, a one-shot program, only takes because you don’t have any objection to it. If I’d wanted you to go murder your mother, say, it would take a whole bunch more time. A year, maybe. That’s why conditioning takes so long.”

“What’s that?”

“You must’ve come from a pretty decent world,” Dill said. “A lot of Confederation planets use that as a last resort for crooks. Three times, and they put a little voice in your head telling you what you can and can’t do. Nasty shit.”

“Where I was,” Garvin said, “when I enlisted, they didn’t do anything like that. Just shot you for any serious offense.”

“Humanitarians, every one,” Dill agreed. “Now quit lazin’ about and get your ass out on detail. We’re gonna do some
real
soldiering and give the
caud’s
lawn a haircut.”

• • •

“Recruit Yoshitaro,” Monique Lir shouted an inch from Njangu’s ear, “that log isn’t heavy, is it?”

“NO, DEC.”

“It’s your favorite toy, isn’t it, Recruit Yoshitaro?”

“YES,
DEC
!”

“Thought so. Squad … on the count of three, switch shoulders … one, two, THREE!”

In unison the five trainees lifted the eight foot long chunk of wood from their left shoulder to the right.

“Sloppy, very sloppy,” Lir shouted. “Prepare to ground log, on the count of three … one, two, THREE.”

The chunk of wood thudded to the ground.

“Squad, ten-hut! Three deep breaths, in unison …”

Yoshitaro sucked air, tried to blink sweat from his eyes. He’d never hurt so bad in his entire life, not from his father’s beatings, not from anything from the police. Why he didn’t tell Lir to shove it and go find a place in a rifle company was beyond him.

Possibly
, he thought,
pure terror from what the drill instructor would do to me if I even thought of quitting.

He might’ve considered Lir beautiful on meeting, but now she was a slavering demon from the worst pits of a hell he hadn’t believed in until recently. As for bee-kissed, he hoped the mythical bee was about the size of a Grierson, and would come back for a return bout soon.

“Are we happy, squad?” Lir bellowed.

“YES, DEC.”

Njangu wondered how the other four in the team had managed to survive two weeks of torment before he got there. D-Cumbre natives must be tougher than they looked. Three days into this degradation, he knew little more about them than their names and what they’d done before. By the time Lir allowed them to crawl into the tents they slept in, across the street from the barracks Njangu now thought more palatial than any luxury hotel he’d ever burgled, there wasn’t much inclination for idle chitchat.

Hank Faull was a former ’Raum, one of the miner/cultists Petr had told him about, seventeen, eighteen hundred years ago on the
Malvern
, when he didn’t hurt all the time everywhere. But so far Faull hadn’t proselytized, hadn’t said much outside duty requirements other than when he showed Yoshitaro how to pitch his shelter, and told him not to worry, that Lir would certainly kill them all in the next few days and they could relax while the last rites were being read. None of the body-wrenching workouts Lir put them through, from the calisthenics before the sun rose to the night cross-country runs seemed to bother him.

Erik Penwyth must’ve been heavy before Lir got her hands on him, for his skin was a little loose around his gut. Now he was as skinny as everyone else. He spoke in an affected drawl, and Njangu gathered he came from one of D-Cumbre’s rich families. Njangu thought Penwyth must be the insane member of the family, for why else would he be eating mud here at Camp Mahan instead of lolling about with whatever and whoever richies on D-Cumbre lolled with.

Angie Rada was short, small-breasted, and instantly made Njangu think of black silk restraints, scented candles, and sex wilder than anything he could dream of. He actually wondered what Lir would do if a little tent-swapping happened, but realized he was being really foolish, since he was too tired to raise even a smile.

The last was Ton Milot. He was also small, but very solidly built, always laughing. Like Faull, he never seemed tired or sore, and had told Njangu that Lir was a foam-bubble. Nothing she could come up with was as much an ass-buster as fishing.

“Plus,” he said, “she hasn’t figured out a way to drown us.”

“Yet,” Penwyth added.

The five stood by their log about fifty meters from the company mess hall. The sun was straight overhead, and soldiers were filing into the building.

“Is everybody hungry?”

“YES,
DEC
.”

“No, you’re not. Are you?”

“NO,
DEC
!”

“We don’t want to eat, we want to run, don’t we?”

“YES,
DEC.
” Njangu felt his stomach start gnawing on his lungs.