The Lake (The Lake Trilogy, Book 1) (31 page)

“Yes, I do
, and you belong to me.” He hangs his head and paces slowly. “I …hate that you witnessed one of these.”

“
One of these
? What does that mean?”

“Whenever my dad has prospective clients he…he makes me
entertain
their daughters until the deal is done,” he explains. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

“Excuse me? Are you telling me that your father whores you out to solidify his business deals? Is this why you didn’t want me to come?” I’m flabbergasted. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream that Gregory
Meyer would stoop to something so disgusting, but maybe this is what Marcus meant by
unimaginable things
.
More than that, how could Will put up with this? It’s one thing to be forced into going to a college you don’t want to. This is entirely different.

“I wouldn’t put it like that.” Will says. I can see this isn’t exactly the response he thought he was going to get.

“How would you put it, Will?” I retaliate. If he wants
bothered
, I’ll give him
bothered
.

“If she doesn’t go back and tell her parents that she had a good time, the whole deal with my father could be over,” Will says actually trying to rationalize the situation. “You have no idea how things like this work.”

“Enlighten me! What constitutes a good time? What does
entertaining
these girls entail exactly? I’m sorry, did we spoil the moment you were about to kiss her? Or maybe you were on your way back up to your room!”

“My
god, Layla!” Will is pacing again. “You don’t get it! You don’t understand what it’s like to have a father…” Will starts but I cut him off before he’s barely uttered the last syllable.

“You’re right,” I snap. “I
don’t
know what it’s like to have a father.” I’m still. “Do you know
why
I’m17-years-old and don’t have a father, Will? Do you?” I say the last part louder and with more aggression.

“Yes,” Will answers quietly. He’s calm now, realizing his words.

“Why?” I demand.

“Because your parents are dead,” he replies slowly.

“And why are they dead, Will?”

“Because…there was an accident. Layla, I’m sorr
y…” I cut him off again.

“My parents are dead because of me. The accident was
my
fault. So, no, I don’t have a father…and I never will again.”

I leave him standing there in the vineyard and walk, almost run, to the path that will lead me to the lodge and the safety of my private room. I enter the lobby and dash past Luke and Claire. I can hear Will yelling for me in the distance but I don’t yield as I rush to my room. Claire calls to me as I shut the door behind me. There’s commotion in the hall and I hear Will tell Luke that he needs to talk to me but Luke denies him access to my room. I feel fortunate to have Luke here
. He’s my shield, protecting me from getting hurt any more than I already am.

As I listen to Luke
’s voice through the door I think that maybe I do know what it’s like to have a father again. There’s a knock at the door that connects my room to Luke and Claire’s. It’s Luke asking if he can come in. I allow it, as long as he’s alone. He promises he is and enters gingerly.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asks quietly.

I don’t answer.

“Will said there was a misunderstanding. Do you want to tell me what that means?” he continues. Claire is rubbing off on him because his tone is soothing and brings me down from my emotional ledge.

“No. Yes. I don’t even know. This whole thing was a huge mistake, Uncle Luke. I don’t know why I ever thought that Will and I could be just friends. I…I can’t be with him. I can’t be with anyone,” I say.

“What are you talking about?” Luke asks, his brow furrowed.

“I have to be alone, to pay for what I did, for the rest of my life,” I choke out.

“What is it you think you did, Layla?” Luke positions himself on the bed so he can face me. He is focused and intent on our conversation.

I sit there for a few moments wondering how to tell my uncle that it’s my fault his brother is dead. Things can’t get worse, so I swallow hard and just say it.

“The accident was my fault,” I whisper slowly.

“Oh.” Luke replies, looking down for a quick moment before snapping his head back up. “You really think that your parent’s death was your fault?”

“
I know it was,” I say.

“Layla, sweetheart, that couldn’t be farther from the truth,” Luke takes my hand in his.

“It
is
the truth. Mom and Dad promised that we would go out to dinner that night, but there was a bad storm so Mom said we would have to go another time. I should have just left it alone.” I take a few deep breaths to gain my composure. I can feel the start of hysterics coming on. I’ve never told anyone this and I’m scared of what Luke’s response will be. “But I didn’t leave it alone. I begged and begged. I wouldn’t give up until they gave in. It’s my fault they’re dead.” The deep breaths don’t work and I start to sob. I can’t stop. My body is heaving from the heavy cries. I slide from the side of the bed to the floor and curl into a ball.

Luke wraps his arms around me and won’t let me go. I try to break free but he won’t budge. “It wasn’t your fault, Layla! It wasn’t your fault!” Luke repeats this over and over again while he rocks with me there on the floor.

“It
IS
my fault! Gram said so!”

“Wait, what? What did she say?” Luke takes me by the shoulders.

“She said that it was an accident and that I didn’t mean to kill them. Don’t you see! That’s why I had to give up everything. I had to sacrifice
my
life for the son I took from them. And now…it was stupid…I thought I paid my penance and could have something as wonderful as being loved by Will, but I can’t. She said that I didn’t deserve anything good after what I had done, and she was right. My punishment will never be over,” I say, trying to make Luke understand.

“Oh,
god. Layla, that woman… You punished yourself for five years for something that you had nothing to do with. Layla, look at me.” Luke takes my face in his hands and looks me straight in the eye. “Your parents died because another car hydroplaned into them going sixty miles an hour, not because of anything that you did or didn’t do. You’re lucky to be alive.
We
are lucky that you’re alive. You have no idea how you have changed our lives. We were so lost before you came.” Luke sighs, taking both my hands in his.

“Did you know that we had a daughter? No, probably not. She’d be
ten this year. She died when she was two. I told you we used to have a boat. We got rid of it after Penny died. We had just come in from our last day on the lake. The weather was getting cooler and we knew we wouldn’t be able to go back out until the next spring. Claire and I were busy unpacking the boat. We had been inside long enough to take Penny’s life jacket off and set her at the table to color. Claire helped me take the deck box we kept on the boat into the garage before we put the boat in storage. We were gone maybe five minutes. When we got back to the kitchen Penny wasn’t there. We checked her room and the playroom; there was no sign of her. Then Claire ran outside and started calling for her. By the time we got to the water it was too late. We think she tried to get back on the boat and…well…

“I understand about guilt; about blaming yourself. Accidents are tragic, senseless things
, but at some point life has to go on. You have to stop punishing yourself and start living again. Your being here has revitalized us. Layla, you bring an immense amount of joy to our lives; joy we thought we’d never have again after Penny died.” Luke’s eyes are filled with hope, and tears. “So, you see, if your parents, and Gram and Gramps were still here, Claire and I might never have known this joy again. I…I would never pretend that Claire and I could replace your parents, but I hope that you’ll allow us to stand in their place for them. We love you, Layla.”

I look at him and in that moment I feel a release I’ve never felt before. Something has changed. I’ve been carrying the weight of guilt for so long that I’m not even sure I know how to fully exist out from under it.
Maybe I’m feeling closer to Luke because we shared something so personal with each other. All I know is that I feel lighter.

“I’m so sorry about Penny. I didn’t know,” I say sadly. I’m heartbroken for both of us. What a joy it would have been to know that I wasn’t alone.
“Is that why you didn’t want me to come live with you?”

“That was my doing. I just didn’t know if Claire could handle having you around
, but you being with us has provided the most incredible healing we could have ever imagined. I don’t know what we’d do without you.” Luke embraces me and holds me tight. I feel the love he’s pouring out to me, and begin experiencing my own healing through it.

“Uncle Luke, what do I do about Will?” I ask, hoping for some wisdom.

“What do you
want
to do?” he asks, drying his tear-stained face on his sleeve.

“I don’t think I’m cut out for this right now. I never thought that much about it, but when I did, I never thought I’d have to lie to myself
, or anyone else, about loving someone. I can’t be Will’s girlfriend because then I have to lie to everyone. I can’t be just his friend because then I have to lie to myself. Maybe I need to separate myself from him all together.” I’m confusing myself, but somehow Luke understands.

“If that’s what you think is best, then Claire and I support you in that. You know, he’s down the hall wanting to talk to you. Do you want me to send him away, do you need more time?”

“No, I’ll talk to him,” I say. I just want to get it over with. “Is there any way we can leave early? I really want to go home,” I ask.

“The reception is tomorrow night and there’s no way that Claire and I can miss it. It’s the only activity that everyone is required to attend.
We can leave as soon as it’s over, I promise,” Luke says, giving me a hug. His embrace means so much more to me now. We’ve shared something that will forever bond us and nothing will ever change that.

Luke leaves the room and sends Will in. He reaches out to me but I pull away from his touch. I can see that hurt him, but I just can’t. Once again I’m afraid if I let him touch me, hold me, that he’ll never be able to let go
, and neither will I.

Will speaks first. “Layla, I really am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t.” I say. I’m not going to get into the issue of my parents. I have to focus on the problem at hand. “Will, I can’t keep doing this. There’s no happy medium.”

“It’s just a few more weeks until graduation. We can do this,” he says.

“It’s not just a few more weeks, Will. It’s anytime we’re anywhere but at Luke and Claire’s. We have to hide our relationship, even our friendship, from your dad. I finally got away from the prison of pretending to be someone I’m not. I thought I could do again here to protect you, but I just can’t. The best way to protect you is for there to be nothing to hide. I was wrong to think saying we were just friends was going to change anything. The bottom line is that I love you, but we can’t be together at all,” I say firmly. I’m proud that I didn’t cave when I looked into his beautiful eyes that are full of love and pain.

“Layla, don’t do this. Please. We can figure this out. We can create our own world, just until we graduate. Please. I love you,” he says emotionally. He’s holding back tears again and it tears me apart.

“And what happens after graduation? You’ll go off to Princeton, I’ll go to Florida State and it’ll be over anyway. This isn’t what I want, and you deserve better than having to sneak around with me. Your father has you wrapped so tightly around his little finger that we can’t be near each other without arousing suspicion. My god, Will, we can’t even be friends! If it’s not safe for us to even be friends, then maybe you and I aren’t meant to be anything at all.” I hesitate for a moment, considering if I should tell him about his father’s off site
House Call
, but it isn’t going to make a difference, so I decide against it.

“Layla.” Will says my name and I want to take back everything I just said. I want to rush into his arms and have him hold me forever.

“Is there any way to stand up and change things with your father?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“You know there’s not.” he answers, his face distressed.

“Then there’s nothing left to say.” I need him to leave quickly so I can let the waterfall of tears I’ve been holding back flow.

“I told you before, nothing will change how I feel about you,” he says. He walks away and I close the door behind him
, wondering how I found myself closing a door on Will Meyer for a second time.

I fall on the bed and bury my face into the pillow and cry, letting my body heave with each sob. I hear the door open and in seconds Claire is laying on the bed next me, holding me while I cry, not saying a word. She just lets me
sob until I have no more tears left. I cry myself to sleep and sleep hard. I don’t dream, for which I am thankful. When I wake in the morning, Claire is still there, asleep in the dress she wore to dinner the night before and I’m sure she was a wonderful mother to Penny.

I spend all day Saturday in my room. I pack everything I can pack and then
rearrange and pack it again before I sit on the balcony, rocking and, sort of, read for hours. I didn’t think I was going to be doing any reading on this trip, but am glad I have my Kindle.

Claire knocks on the door and pops her head in. “It’s almost time to leave for dinner. How are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m ok,” I say. “I’ll get ready and be down in a few minutes.”

Claire smiles and closes the door. I brace myself and get my new black dress from the closet. I really like this dress. Claire and I both agree that it is very Audrey Hepburn, simple and elegant. I pull my hair up into a twist and feel like Audrey in
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
. I’m as ready as I’m going to be. The mini-divas and their families have already left, which is a relief. I worked very hard this week to avoid them as much as humanly possible.

We get in the car and make the short drive to the other side of the resort where the reception is being held.

“Are you ready?” Luke asks.

“Yes…mostly,” I answer. “I’ll park it at our table and pick at my food all night.”

“We won’t leave your side,” Claire says reassuringly.

“Oh, no, please don’t do that. You two need to have a good time. Mr. Meyer needs to see you having a good time, right? If anyone asks, just tell them that I’m not feeling well,” I say.

We give each other one last look of solidarity and walk into the reception. There’s a band playing and the music is louder than I would have expected, but the female singer is pretty good. Everyone is dancing, adults and kids, and it looks like some kind of weird second-chance prom.

The room is de
corated simply with white tablecloths and centerpieces with candles and flowers. There are three sets of French doors that lead out to a courtyard. I can see Tyler and Chris across the room talking with some people I met briefly earlier in the week but can’t remember their names. In all honesty, I never tried. I make eye contact with both of them and we each give a nod of acknowledgement.

After we find our table, the wait staff promptly brings us our dinner. We have a choice between baked chicken and prime rib. I opt for the baked chicken. I guess everyone’s already eaten because we’re the only ones at our table. I eat slowly so that I really will have food to pick at all night. Luke and Claire finish and I insist that they enjoy themselves. Watching them dance together makes me smile. Whether it’s a slow song or a fast one, they move together perfectly. They smile at each other and steal an occasional kiss. It’s beautiful.

I continue to pick at my chicken when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

“Hey…how are you?”
Tyler asks as he sits in the empty seat next to me.

“I’m good. How about you? Have…you talked to Will?” I ask hesitantly.

“Yeah, I talked to him,” he answers. “I’m sorry. I know this has got to be a weird situation; not one that anyone would think of as typical, but I meant what I said about how Will feels about you.”

“I know. It’s just not meant to be.
Thanks for your shoulder. You’re good friend. I appreciate all you’ve done for me this week. I would have been a pretty lonely girl if you hadn’t kept me company.” I tell him.

The band starts to play a song that Tyler and I simultaneously say we love. That’s all it takes for him to insist I dance with him. I give in quickly and we walk to the dance floor. It’s a slow song
and one of the guys in the band starts singing. Tyler puts his arm around my waist and holds my hand in his to his chest. It feels good to know that I didn’t lose his friendship.

About halfway through the song I see Will walking toward us from across the dance floor. I’m not nervous because I know he won’t make a scene here. But my body must be tensing up in Tyler’s arms because he whispers in my ear not to worry and that everything will be ok.

“May I cut in?” Will asks.

“Layla?” Tyler defers to me again as he did in the vineyard.

“Ok.” It’s the only response I can give.

Will t
akes me in his arms and I feel the rush of warmth run through my body that I had worked so hard to avoid last night. I don’t want to like it so much but I miss his touch terribly. I want to cut off all my feelings so I can move on but I allow myself this one last encounter. I allow myself to love and be loved because in about two minutes that’s all going to end forever.

“Hi,” he says, pulling me close to him.

“Hi.”

“Layla,” he says.

“Will…don’t.”

“Just listen to me. I know I have screwed up more than once, and I couldn’t be sorrier. Is there nothing I can do to make it up to you? How many times do I have to apologize befor
e you forgive me? I will again and again, if I have to.  I’m not giving up, Layla. We belong together,” Will declares.

“What am I supposed to say to that?”

“Tell me you love me. Tell me you’re not going to push me away.” His eyes are intense as he speaks.

“Why are you doing this, Will? This is already difficult,” I say.

“It doesn’t have to be. I love you. You love me. We want to be together. We
can
be together,” he says, trying to make his case.

“Will,
we can’t be together. Every warning you ever gave me about us being together is true. Your father will make both our lives a living hell, and possibly get my aunt and uncle disbarred, sending them into financial ruin. Tempting as that sounds, I’m going to have to pass.”
Not to mention the beating I witnessed and the warning I got on the trail earlier in the week.

“I’ve never wanted to break his rules more in my life. I’ve let him regulate me out of fear and I’m done living like that. I’m stronger now
. I’m stronger now because of you.” Will is serious and passionate. I can tell this is a turning point for him.

“Why would you want to be with someone like me anyway? I don’t fit into your world, and your world doesn’t even want me.” Even if Will’s father loved me, why should Will? Between the baggage I carry and my inability to fit in here, I only complicate things.

“So this is what it’s come to? Fine,” Will says as he releases me and walks away.

Frustrated, I walk off in the opposite direction, toward the exit. I need to get some air but I don’t want to walk through the crowd to the courtyard.
This is…good
, I think. He needed to just give up and let me go. Yes, this is for the best.

I don’t get far before the music stops and I hear Will’s voice booming in the speaker.  I slow my pace, not believing what I’m hearing. “Layla Michelle Weston, where do you think you’re going?”

I turn around to a sea of heads bobbing back and forth; looking for the girl Will has disrupted their festivities for.
What is he doing?

“Your presence is requested on the dance floor…please,” he says.

I’m frozen in my tracks. I have to decide whether I’m going to fulfill his request or make a scene and run. I comply and make my way back to the dance floor. As I retrace my steps I see Luke and Claire watching, waiting to see if I’m going to cue them to rescue me. Then I see Will’s father. Like a tennis match, he’s alternating between looking at me and looking at Will. His face is flat, unreadable with the trait of a skilled lawyer. The last person I see is Tyler. He smiles at me and nods having been in on this from the start.

As I approach the stage, Will steps down and I whisper, “What are you doing?”

“Standing up,” he says.

Putting the microphone to his mouth, Will begins to speak. “May I have your attention please? I’m Will Meyer, and for those of you who don’t know her, this beautiful girl is Layla Weston. A moment ago she asked me why I would want to be with someone like her.” He turns to face me. “You asked me a question, and I’m going to answer you,” he says. His face is smooth and relaxed. For what he’s doing right now in this moment, that doesn’t make sense. His father is just feet from us.
Then I see it. I look into his eyes and see something I haven’t seen before: absolute and unwavering peace.

“Let me just get the obvious out there first: she’s beautiful. It’s not a matter of opinion; she
is
beautiful. That’s not why I love her. In the time that I’ve known Layla I can say without a shadow of a doubt that she is the most amazing person I’ve ever met. She has character and integrity – traits I find missing in most people I know. She cares more about others than she does herself and is the kind of person who would sacrifice her own happiness for someone else’s. She doesn’t come from money, and that’s ok because she understands that wealth…well…wealth is nothing. Wealth is just a status symbol that gives you power. She knows that life is more than power. She understands that when you love someone you want to tell the world, regardless of what anyone else thinks. She showed me that that kind of love really does exist, and she showed me what it means to love someone completely.” Will turns back to me again. “Layla, I never knew that I could love someone the way that I love you. You have changed my life in ways I never thought possible.
That
is why I want to be with you.
That
is why I am totally and irrevocably in love with you.”

His words are still lingering in the air when he drops the microphone and kisses me. Right there, in the middle of the room with everyone looking, Will kisses me with total abandon. His lips are warm, soft, and gentle and move with mine with precision and perfection. His arms wrap around me tightly, and my hands lift to grab the back of his neck. We kiss for just a moment when, for the first time, I’m the one to pull away.

The room is silent and I don’t know what will happen next. I scan the staring faces to see the response. It’s a mixture of unreadable expressions and those of disbelief, including mine. The wait staff is in awe and smiling. They have no idea the dangerous place Will has just dared to tread.