The Lady In Question (35 page)

“Because she’s trapped.” The word didn’t have nearly as bad a ring to it when used in respect to Delia as opposed to him. In truth, he rather liked the idea of her being trapped with him. For better or worse. For the rest of their days.

“I have to admit, St. Stephens, I’m really rather pleased with how this whole thing has turned out. As you well know, I was not at all happy to learn it was my department’s fault, my government’s fault, that my niece was the center of scandal. That her life was irrevocably altered. All you have to do now to make everything turn out well is convince her to marry you immediately.”

“I shall do my best.”

“Kimberly has told me you plan to leave the department after this is concluded.”

Tony nodded. “I have responsibilities now that I did not have before. I see no other choice.”

“Indeed, you
have
no other choice. It’s a wise man who understands that.” The duke considered him for a moment, then favored him with a slight smile of approval. “The department will be the poorer without you, but I suspect my country’s loss will be my family’s gain.”

“Thank you, Your Grace.”

“In the meantime, we shall hope for the best. The British government got you and my niece into this mess, and by God, I, as a representative of the British government, will bloody well get you out.”

“I appreciate that, sir.”

“Marry the girl. Kill the butler.” The duke raised his glass. “And we’ll all sleep better at night.”

Was her history repeating itself?

Delia paced the short width of the library, absently wringing her hands. Was she doomed to once again make an enormous mistake? And would this be so much worse because her heart was involved?

She had no idea, and God help her, she wasn’t sure she cared.

“Did you wish to speak with me, my lady?” Gordon said from the doorway.

“Yes, please, do come in.” She waved him into the room.

“You seem distraught, ma’am.” Gordon moved to the cabinet and poured two glasses of brandy. She bit back a smile. Brandy and backgammon had become something of a ritual with them, and she rather liked that Gordon took it upon himself to fetch the brandy without waiting for her request. She would miss these evenings.

“Thank you.” She accepted the glass he offered and took a long sip.
“Distraught
is perhaps not the right word. I am…I don’t know what I am exactly.” She took her usual seat at the backgammon table and waved him to the other chair.

He sat down and studied her. “Are we to play, then, ma’am?”

“Not tonight, Gordon, I simply need to talk.” She stared at the brandy in her glass as if it had the answers she searched for, then looked up at him. “I am going to marry Lord St. Stephens. Tomorrow.”

“My congratulations, ma’am.”

She raised a brow. “You don’t think it’s too soon? It’s been barely seven months since my husband died. Don’t you think it’s terribly improper to marry so quickly? Before the required period of mourning, that is?”

“It is indeed quite improper, and scandalous as well. However…” the butler paused as if considering his words.

“Go on.”

“Well, my lady, you told me you wished to live by no one’s standards but your own. If indeed you meant those words —”

“I did.”

“Then this is the perfect opportunity to do just that. As I understand it, Lord Wilmont has no family, so there could be no censure from that quarter. In addition, your family is both powerful and wealthy. It’s been my experience that the indiscretions of those with wealth and power are forgiven far faster than those of anyone else. As scandals go, I doubt this will be that significant.

“Lady Wilmont, I suspect you must follow where your heart leads.” His eyes behind his spectacles met hers. “Is St. Stephens where your heart leads?”

“Yes.” She pulled her gaze from his and stared unseeing into the dim shadows of the room. “I love him, Gordon. It sounds so odd to admit it aloud. I have had a great deal of doubt about the very existence of love, but nothing else explains it. The way I feel when I’m with him and, as well, the way I feel when I’m not.”

“Pardon me for pointing this out, ma’am, but you did not know your first husband well. Do you know this man any better?”

“I do, or at least I think I do.” She laughed softly. “My uncle, the Duke of Roxborough, has given his approval. Indeed, he has invited us to marry at Effington House, so I daresay St. Stephens’s credentials are more than acceptable. I am not overly close to my uncle, but I do trust his judgment. And” — she blew a long breath — “I suppose I should trust my heart as well. St. Stephens is the most wonderful…and he makes me feel…”

“Yes?”

“As if I am the most important thing in the world.” The wonder of it all sounded in her voice. “As if nothing matters to him but me. As if I am unique and special.”

“My dear Lady Wilmont, you are both unique and special.”

Her gaze met his and she smiled with affection. “What a very nice thing to say.”

“It’s true,” he said staunchly.

She laughed. “It’s not precisely true when your sister looks exactly like you. When you’re used to being referred to as *one of the Effington twins.‘ It wasn’t until I married that I became, well, an individual.” She thought for a moment. “Perhaps that’s part of why I’ve made the decisions I have. Neither Wilmont nor St. Stephens has ever seen me as one of a pair. Indeed, St. Stephens has never even met my sister.”

“He’s seems a decent sort of chap, ma’am.”

She raised a brow. “I wasn’t aware you’d met him.”

“Only in passing, my lady.” Gordon cleared his throat. “He has been in the house a great deal and somewhat impossible to avoid.”

Heat flushed up her face, but she ignored it. After all, she had wanted to become a woman of experience, and if that effort had lasted no more than a day, regardless of whether she was now going to marry the gentleman in question or not, she had nothing to be embarrassed about. Still, it was difficult to disregard a lifetime of expectations of proper behavior.

“After we marry, St. Stephens is taking me to Italy.” She wrinkled her nose. “In part, I think, to avoid whatever scandal might be caused by our hasty nuptials, but also because he knows it will be a grand adventure.”

“You have always planned to travel.”

“It will be glorious, Gordon, every bit of it. Travel and marriage to a man who loves me as I love him, and eventually children and growing old by his side. A lifetime of adventures. Grand, all of them.” She brushed a strand of hair away from her face and noticed her hand trembled with emotion. “It’s all quite perfect. In truth, I think it’s something of a miracle.” She shook her head.

“And it scares you,” he said softly.

“A great deal, actually. I am at once so happy and so afraid it will all be taken away.” She sipped her brandy and thought for a long moment. “I have not made especially wise decisions when it has come to men and marriage. This is the second time I will have married hastily.”

“But you are marrying now for far different reasons, aren’t you?”

She nodded. “I married Lord Wilmont because it seemed like an excellent idea given the circumstances. My choices were rather limited once I had…” She shook her head. Delia was fairly certain Gordon had long ago realized that she had shared Charles’s bed before marriage, but she preferred not to say it aloud.

“Yet you have any number of choices now. You have a residence of your own, you are wealthy in your own right and you have independence as a widow you did not have before. The mere fact that you and his lordship have become” — Gordon cleared his throat —
“close
does not mandate marriage. It seems to me that the one fact that is present now that was not present in your first marriage is the one factor that should indicate future happiness.”

“Love?”

“Love.” Gordon nodded. “I confess, I am not an expert in that elusive emotion, but I have seen enough to know that when it is present, there is nothing on earth that is more powerful.”

“Your wisdom continues to amaze me, Gordon,” she said with a laugh.

“Then might I add, ma’am, that life, even in moments like this, is rarely perfect. Men in particular are, by their very nature, imperfect creatures.” Gordon paused to choose his words. “All men, even those who are in the throes of love, or perhaps especially those who are in the throes of love, make mistakes. Sometimes dire, tragic mistakes, often when they truly believe they are doing what is right for their family or business or country. Such errors in judgment may seem unforgivable at first but rarely are.”

“And obviously all men think alike.” She shook her head. “Lord St. Stephens and I have had a very similar discussion about forgiveness.”

“Indeed? Well, it’s no doubt a good thing to keep in mind,” he murmured. “Probably can’t be mentioned often enough.”

“Probably.” She paused for a moment. “There is something else I wish to speak to you about. When St. Stephens and I return from Italy there shall be a great many changes.”

“I thought as much, ma’am.”

“He has a house in town he has never seen, although I don’t quite understand that, but it all has to do with the recent death of his brother and the inheritance of his title and property. In addition, he has an estate somewhere. What I am trying to say is I doubt that I, or we, shall continue to live here.”

“I am certain the rest of the staff and I can find suitable employment elsewhere, ma’am,” Gordon said with the oddest note of what might be relief in his voice.

“Don’t be absurd.” She stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t think I would turn you and MacPherson and Mrs. Miller and the others out on the streets?”

“I didn’t —”

“I have no intention of letting any of you go. Good heavens, you especially have become like a member of my own family. Gordon, I fully intend on your being in my employ for however long you want. And when the time comes that you wish to retire from service, I also intend to find a cottage on one of the estates, my family’s or my husband’s, where you may live out the remainder of your days in comfort.”

He stared in silence.

“What? Nothing to say, Gordon? No astute observations? No words of wisdom? Have I shocked you into silence?” She grinned. “I rather like that. It’s as good as beating you in backgammon.”

He shook his head slowly. “I simply don’t know what to say, my lady. I am touched by your kindness.”

“Nonsense, Gordon, you have been far more than an employee to me.” She placed her hand over his.

“You have been a friend when I truly needed one. I can never repay you for that.”

“Thank you, my lady.” He gently pulled his hand away and she tried not to smile. The dear old man would share a brandy with her but would only go so far past that ever-present barrier of mistress and servant. “I am most grateful.”

“However, I am not entirely certain our games can continue.” She searched for the right words. “St. Stephens has declared himself to be stuffy and narrow-minded and I daresay he would think our sharing brandy and playing backgammon was not entirely proper.”

“Then perhaps marriage is not a good idea,” Gordon said loftily.

“Come, now, I should think you of all people would understand that attitude,” she teased. “Indeed, haven’t I heard you refer to yourself as stuffy and narrow-minded?”

“In my case it’s entirely different.”

She laughed. “Why?”

“It’s my place to be stuffy and narrow-minded.” He paused. “Might I suggest, my lady, we play once more, in defiance of the stuffy and narrow-minded?”

“Excellent idea.”

He opened the drawer on the side of the table and removed the game pieces, placing them on the board. His gaze was on what he was doing and the tone of his voice was offhand. “Are you happy, then, my lady?”

“I would not have thought it possible a few months ago…” She shook her head, still not able to fully grasp all that had changed in her life. “I have been given something of a second chance, I think. My mother would say my stars have realigned themselves. As odd as it sounds, I might well believe her right. I do feel as if something, some unknown hand, has guided me to this point.”

“Fate, you mean?”

“I suppose. I really don’t know and I don’t especially care.” She shrugged. “Regardless of whether it was fate or the stars or something entirely different that brought me to this point and St. Stephens into my life, I shall be forever grateful.

“So, to answer your question” — she met his gaze firmly — “I am indeed happy. You see, I have found a man who loves me in spite of my faults and my mistakes. I suspect such a thing is exceeding rare in this world.

“Given that, I can’t imagine being anything but happy for the rest of my days.”

Chapter 20

The muscles in the back of his neck tensed the moment Tony stepped over the threshold of the library at Effington House. Instinct told him he’d just stepped into a well-laid trap. His very life might well be at stake, or at least his future.

“Don’t just stand there, St. Stephens, come in.” The duke leaned on the edge of his desk, Delia’s father at his side, both with a glass in hand. A trio of younger gentlemen stood a few feet away. “I daresay, no one’s armed.” Roxborough sipped his drink. “At the moment.”

Tony adopted an air of relaxed confidence and strode into the room. It would not do to show fear to this particular gathering.

“Whiskey or brandy?” The duke gestured at a footman standing beside a tray of decanters and glasses. “Or whatever else you might like. It’s probably the right moment for it.”

“I’ll have whatever they’re having,” Tony said smoothly.

“Very good.” The duke chuckled. “I don’t know if you’ve met anyone here, with the exception of my brother, Delia’s father, Lord William Effington.”