The Kingdom on the Edge of Reality (16 page)

"He was always too sweet for his own good. I'm amazed by the change in him."

"According to Albert, it was Guy Hawke who pulled it all together during that crisis. He knew how to act, and he knew what to do. He
is
a medieval man, Jack. You'll see that when you meet him. He might never have lived in the modern age at all, so little of it shows in his personality. Anyway, he kicked some butts, and he cracked some heads; he had the dungeon dug under the castle, and he taught Albert how to be a king."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that now we have the social order and the kingdom functioning smoothly and the people are about as happy as people are likely to be. So Lord Hawke doesn't have any butts to kick. The problem is, Jack, that underneath his good qualities he's really an unhappy and rather brutal man, and he's the one person in this kingdom Albert has no control over."

"Why doesn't Albert stick him in the dungeon? That's the cure-all around here, isn't it?"

"Jack, maybe he should have but he hasn't. I don't want to say he doesn't dare, but you'll understand it better when you meet Lord Hawke."

"So you went to your oracle and the Tarot told you to import Jack, the bully-buster. Is that the story in a nutshell?"

"More or less."

"And Albert didn't bother to tell me about any of this because if he had, I never would have come here in the first place."

"That's part of it."

"And because once I was here, I was trapped here anyway."

"No," she told me. And suddenly I saw, for the first time I guess, the real Mage Marya that wasn't a college co­ed anymore—no, not by a long shot! Her eyes had turned into steel ball bearings, and I was taking an involuntary step backwards when she reached out and took me by the collar and yanked me in close.

"No, you're wrong about that. We didn't tell you until now because we wanted you to have a chance to fall in love with this kingdom, which happens to be the nicest kingdom that ever was."

She had me pulled in very tight, but I wasn't trying to get away because I was too busy admiring what a lot of raw power she had developed.

"And here's the bottom line, Jack. We've got a desperate problem here, and my oracle, my Goddess, thinks you can help us somehow. But if you're not up for this—if you haven't got the sand—then I will take you to the king and I will move heaven and earth, Jack, to get you back out through those woods and get you a nice limousine ride back to your crappy little cottage in Marysville!"

She let me go then; and if you don't think I felt totally crazy, you have to remember that I was dressed from head to foot as a medieval warrior, and with what I had on my horse thrown in, I was carrying about two hundred pounds of armor and weapons and standing in the middle of some impossible kingdom on the farthest edge of reality. I wasn't in any state to make a rational decision about anything, but in my gut I knew that going back to Marysville wasn't an option, whether or not that could be accomplished anyway. The life I had left behind didn't seem attractive or even real anymore. It was more like a half-remembered dream. The only solid ground I had in the world was right under my feet. I couldn't say that I was actually in love with Albert's kingdom, but I was certainly intrigued and amazed by what I had already seen, and I had been anxious to begin my quest because I wanted to see more. So I knew in my gut that my course was set, dangerous as it obviously now appeared to be.

"So what exactly has Duke Bully-boy been up to that no one seems to know what to do about?"

"He's doing what he likes best, I guess, and that's making people afraid of him. There's a shadow over his fief, an apprehensiveness, as though his peasants are worried that they might accidentally do something wrong and have to pay dearly for it. I'm not saying every single person feels that way, but it's like a disease, this fear, and if it keeps spreading, God help us all."

"What does he do that makes people afraid?"

"He does it just by looking at them. He's very good at that. He threatens people with his eyes. But that's not all, of course. He has a mean bailiff who follows his example, and a spineless reeve who—"

"A which and a what?"

"A bailiff is an overseer. The reeve is a peasant chosen by the peasants to represent them in councils. But the Duke's reeve is too cowed to speak up. The worst of it is the way he recruits his soldiers. Each of the fiefs has different soldiery, and this reflects the lord's personality. Albert's soldiers are the best. They're the most helpful and the most responsible because that's what Albert wants and expects of them."

"I know one of them. His name is Gordon. He's a pip."

"Isn't he? I love Gordon. Well, the duke's soldiers are all little buckoes because that's what he promotes in them."

"And Albert says nothing?"

"Albert does not say nothing, but Lord Hawke is not good at listening. He is quick to recall that his own strict methods held the kingdom together at one time; then he will turn around and attack Albert for being soft on the Picts."

"What says Duke Hawke about the Picts?"

"That they should be driven away. Killed if necessary. It's horrible!"

"Tell me more about these soldiers. What do they do exactly, Guy Hawke's buckoes?"

"They are up in people's faces when they have no reason to be. They stop peasants on the market road without cause, search their wagons, help themselves to a snack. Sometimes they say things to the women, even paw them."

"What, in front of the men?"

"Sometimes. It's getting worse every season."

"And what do the men do?"

"They have to put up with it. The duke's soldiers are heavily armed and they always travel in pairs. And there's no excuse for it, Jack. They don't have to be so heavily armed. No one is going to bother them. In fact, there's no trouble or danger in the whole kingdom compared to those soldiers themselves. Last year two of the peasants mixed it up with them. I'm not sure exactly how it got started, but there was a ruckus and the soldiers killed one of the peasants and crippled the other. He walks with a limp now, and of course it's his word against theirs. Albert spoke to Lord Hawke about it, but as usual Lord Hawke was not very receptive. He said he would keep an eye on the two soldiers concerned; but what he did was make them his personal guard, so it was actually a promotion. After that, his other soldiers began to behave even worse."

While she was talking I could feel my jaw tighten, and I knew my temper was coming up. I have never gone out of my way to look for trouble, but at the same time I have always had a hard place in my heart for bullies. I guess each of us has something that he especially dislikes, something that seems impossible to tolerate. Heavily armed bullies that traveled in pairs . . .

"Well, Marya," I said, "I got up this morning to go on quest, and that's what I'm going to do."

She walked me to my horse and I clambered aboard in my warlike duds. "Be careful, Jack."

"What a funny thing to say!" I nudged Pollux into a trot.

At first I was feeling very grim as I rode along, headed nowhere with no idea which way I ought to go. But it was a beautiful day and everything I saw was new and interesting. The people that I passed on the road waved and spoke greetings and regarded me with a curiosity that I now understood. I was the one who had been chosen by the mage's Tarot cards. I was a celebrity although I had done nothing to deserve it, and that gave me a funny feeling that is difficult to describe, as if I had turned into a character in a story. It was an exciting and expansive feeling; but there was, of course, a catch.

Where was I going? It didn't really matter. If I turned around, I could ride past the monastery, turn south on the market road at the bridge, and head for Griswold Manor. But I was not in the mood for Griswold. It occurred to me then to pay a visit to the Earl and Lady Dugdale. I was curious to see how the nobility lived and I could pick up some more information about the situation in the kingdom.

Soon I came upon a man who was digging dirt out of the road and putting it into his ox-cart, and didn't he give me a funny look when I asked him where to find Dugdale's manor. "Why, you're the king's new knight, aren't you?" he said, laughing. "It'll be something to tell the missus that someone asked me the way to Lord Dugdale's today. She'll never believe me."

He chuckled away about that, and I waited patiently for him to have his joke. "Well, where is it then?"

He pointed in the direction I was going. "You're almost there," he said.

"Thank you, my good man," I said. "Why are you digging up the road?"

"I need this clay for my mill."

"That's quite a hole you're making. Don't you think that's dangerous?" It was right at the bend of the road, and a man or a horse could have easily stumbled into it.

He looked at the hole and made a helpless gesture. "But where else will I find such good clay?"

"I don't know, but you'd better get that hole filled up before you leave."

He began to squirm, as though it was an impossible amount of trouble I wanted him to go to. "All right, all right, I will," he grumbled finally.

I didn't really believe he would, but I had done about all I could, so I tapped Pollux with my heel and continued down the road. Presently I came to a pretty little bridge, the most ornate of all the bridges I'd yet seen in that valley of many rivers, and on the other side of the bridge hung a carved wooden escutcheon about four feet high with a coat of arms and DUGDALE carved across the top.

Dugdale's fief looked different; it had a different flavor. As soon as I crossed the bridge I noticed it; it didn't seem to me that the landscape was perfectly natural. Especially around the bridge it looked more like a park than a woods, and as I continued north on the other side of the river I had the same impression that some serious landscaping had been attempted in certain spots. It would be something to make conversation about, and maybe to tease Charlsey with, for who else but she would have wanted to refine the woods that way.

Their manor house, made of fieldstone and timbers with a wall all around, also had a stylish look for a fortified building, and a great deal of care had gone into the flower gardens. Then I got a rather bad twinge of time-vertigo, for there was Charlsey kneeling among her flowers wearing a straw hat and gloves with a little trowel in one hand. The long skirt she wore barely maintained the medieval integrity that I was beginning to cherish and I felt annoyed at her for looking so modern. My impulse was to turn my horse quietly and slip away unnoticed, but I didn't make up my mind quickly enough.

"Sir Jack!" cried Charlsey, jumping to her feet and coming to greet me. "I'm so glad you came. Alton, guess who is here!" she shouted into the house. All the shutters seemed to open at once and several unfamiliar faces poked out to see the novelty. Before I knew it I was having tea and cakes with Charlsey and Dugdale in the garden, my sword with its scabbard and harness leaning against the hedge.

"This is such a pleasure," said Charlsey. "You can't imagine how tedious it can get without any society. Don't you think so, Alton? Actually, Alton has quite a lot to keep up with running the earldom, so I don't think he gets quite as lonesome as I do. It's better in the winter when there's less to do and people go visiting more. But at this time of year it's all work, work, work, and no one seems to consider their social obligations."

"You looked busy in your garden when I rode up," I said.

Charlsey had been going on a mile a minute since I arrived, and it was making me a little tense. She wanted a lot of attention and she made you feel obliged to give it to her. Also, try as you might to change her train of thought, it always came back to this: however much she might sugarcoat it with her pretty smile and her stylized vivaciousness, Charlsey was sorry she had come.

"Well, I do love my gardens, that's true. My mother was a fine gardener, and
her
mother was a gardener—a flower gardener, you understand—and they both took prizes in shows."

"You've won several prizes at the fair, my dear," said Dugdale proudly.

"Thank you, Alton. I am trying to carry on the tradition. One of the reasons I agreed to come all the way out here, Sir Jack, was that my family lacked land. Mother was always saying she could do with a bit more land. We had quite a substantial lot for Cambridge, but it was still only a couple of acres, and mother felt limited. So when we were considering becoming part of the peerage here, the promise of unlimited land quite made me lose my reason."

"How much land have you got?" I asked Dugdale.

"I don't know," said Dugdale. "We share a border with Lord Hawke and another with the royal domain. But our land to the northwest keeps going right up into the mountains, if you want to look at it that way. The amount of land you have up here really has no significance. What matters are the people you have to work it."

"My lady," said a servant, "will you pick out a chicken?"

"Cook can do that, Betty."

"Cook sent me to ask if your ladyship would be pleased to pick which one you like."

"Well, I suppose the red hen," said Charlsey.

"There are three red hens, your ladyship."

"Not that I recall," said Charlsey after a pause.

"If your ladyship would be pleased . . ."

"Oh, I'll come! Alton, why don't you give Sir Jack a tour while I see to this."

Charlsey went off with the servant and Dugdale showed me the stables and the falconry and the buttery and the wine cellar and the central hall and something he called the solar, which was a big bedroom and den above the hall.

"Albert really didn't let you smuggle in a thing, did he?"

"No. He was very strict. Everything you see was made right here in this valley. And yet we have some beautiful things, do we not?"

"Was this manor designed by Joel Mason?"

"Oh yes, of course. He designed the whole kingdom. Anything made since his death naturally follows his style since his are the only models to copy. His signature will be on the kingdom as long as it lasts."