The Key to Paradise (5 page)

“Google. And yeah, I can get a rough idea from searching the internet but it’s more complicated than that.”

“It’s not complicated. Write down: ‘
I want to reopen the Sea Watch so give me money.
’ Dave Sundersen will cave when Mallory threatens to cut him out of the will.” There was a sadistic gleam in Lily’s eyes. They say absolute power corrupts absolutely and it seemed like Tamarind Key was run under the benevolent dictatorship of a group of geriatric women. I wondered if I would escape their meddling clutches unscathed.

“You want to reopen the Sea Watch?”

I had been so distracted by the conversation I had practically forgotten Landon in all his tourist hating glory was still in the room.

“It was just a thought.” I said raising my head defensively against the tirade I knew would come. “It would stay small with a restaurant and bar on property since there aren’t many amenities in town.”

“We find the amenities here just fine but then again we’re not snooty tourists.” His voice was bristling with hostility.

“Tell me, Landon. How is a small twenty room hotel going to destroy your precious island? How are forty extra people going to change anything?”

“It always starts small. One hotel, a few extra shops. The next thing you know the developers are here paving over everything,” he said turning to Nana abruptly. “Joan, you have a torn gasket. I’ll get a new one and bring it by tomorrow.” Without another word he stalked out the back door into the night.

“Isn’t it romantic?” Verna asked sighing. “It’s just like Rhett and Scarlett.”

I had to struggle to keep from strangling her.

Chapter Six

Landon

She was without a doubt the most infuriating woman I had ever met. Oh sure, she was beautiful in that unique way that can make a man’s heart skip a beat. Her mouth was too wide, her eyes too large and her hair was a tsunami of black curls that seemed to move under a life of its own. Put them all together and you got a face that was breathtaking and only hers. You wanted to spend a lifetime watching all the ways that mouth could quirk up and down with her moods. At least you would if she weren’t the most infuriating woman I had ever met.

I had known she was trouble from the moment she pulled up in front of my house lost and looking for help. An uncomfortable knot of tension roiled in my stomach whenever I thought back to that night. My exhaust manifold had been acting up again and I had very little money to spare on buying a new one. Instead, I was working on my boat in the middle of the night trying to convince an unwieldy hunk of metal to hold on just a little while longer when the roar of that junky old Cadillac sounded down my street.

I knew even as the words were coming out of my mouth that I shouldn’t have been so short with her. The shock and hurt showed instantly in those wide coffee colored eyes but I was irritated enough not to apologize. When I had settled down the guilt started to take over. I’m not the most well versed in social niceties. Most people know me as abrupt or a straight talker but I didn’t have a reputation for being an ass either.

I called my friend Jack and invited him out for a beer hoping to run into her again and let her see I wasn’t the asshole she thought I was. I don’t know what made me do that. Normally I keep to myself and I’m not overly interested in making friends. If people think me gruff and stand-offish all the better. Maybe it was the way I had seen how deeply my snapping had cut her. I wasn’t used to people who wore their emotions so honestly in their eyes. Maybe it was the way she pulled herself up and bit back, that spark of spirit that had me intrigued. Either way, I should have known better than to go out seeking trouble like Olivia Campbell.

When Joan waved to me from across the bar my eyes instantly went to that swell of midnight curls and I started walking over. The image of my fingers plunging into their depths was entrenched firmly in my mind. That was until she opened her mouth. I swear there are mules with more rationality than her.

And now? Now, she was planning on opening a hotel resort just like any other tourist who sees us as an oasis of untouched beauty. How can she be so blind? The minute the tourists start tramping through that untouched beauty it’s forever sullied. One stray pet let loose in the wild or the need for a bigger parking lot outweighing the need for tidal barriers. I had had enough experience with that to know that cold hard facts: people inevitably ruin whatever they touch.

We’ve had our share of people like her before. Young families and retirees who have wanted to move here because they love it so much and then the minute the boxes are unpacked the suggestions start. “
Well, wouldn’t it be better if… Wouldn’t it be nice to have…?”
But Olivia didn’t even suggest or ask. She was powering full steam ahead into her little scheme without any input from anyone other than the Vespa Vixens.

I didn’t hold out much hope that I could change her mind but I knew I never would forgive myself if I didn’t at least try. And...if I was being honest with myself, my motives weren’t entirely based around preserving the ecology of Tamarind Key. A part of me held out hope that I could lead her to reason for herself alone—and just maybe—the pain in those soft brown eyes would wash away.

After I left Joan’s house my truck seemed to steer itself to Captain Joe’s. It was for the best; the last thing I needed tonight was to be alone with my thoughts. I took a seat at my regular table and waved to Linda, the waitress.

“Usual, hon?” She asked walking over and wiping away errant grains of salt from the tabletop.

“Yup, can I see a menu too?”

“Sure thing.”

There was no live entertainment at the bar tonight but the crowd was raucous enough without it. Normally I loved it here; the feeling of community, walking into a place where you know everyone. But tonight it seemed to grate on my nerves. The same faces, the same stories you’ve heard a million times before, the same jokes.

I shook my head to try and clear it. It was just that woman getting under my skin. Tamarind Key was my home. Even when I had gone away to college, the tidal pull of the Caribbean sun and calm waters had always been there tugging my heart back to the places I had known.

“Hey Landon, I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight.” I looked up to see my friend Jack making his way across the crowded dock. He and I had grown up together. We spent our summers catching lobsters and scallops, feeding bugs to the geckos and anoles and getting into as much trouble as two growing boys could manage. Jack had been a constant companion during the times when I wanted to be as far away from my house as possible.

“I wasn’t really planning on coming, just decided I could use a drink. I promised Joan I would fix her sink so I was already out.”

“Ahhh,” Jack’s eyes lit up and he gave me a knowing smile. “And how is Joan’s lovely granddaughter today?”

I just scowled back. “As big of a pain in the ass as ever.”

“And
what
an ass it is.”

“Don’t be a pervert.” I said hoping my face wasn’t giving away half of what I was feeling.

“Come on, Lan. The girl is a beauty. You know that. Plus she’s obviously in some kind of vulnerable position right now running home to her nana. Maybe she’s just waiting for her knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet. Sure, you don’t have a horse but in this case your boat might work just as well.”

“The idea of Olivia Campbell being vulnerable is laughable. She’s got the outer shell of a porcupine and the insides of a water moccasin.”

Jack laughed, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “So that’s the story then. Landon Fitzpatrick—consummate wooer of women—has met his match.”

“I have absolutely no interest in her.”

“I do. I have a lot of interest in any woman who can get under your skin like this. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

It was true. All of my past relationships had fizzled out rather than ended in fireworks. No matter how sweet, kind or beautiful the girl that legendary spark had never been there. Now I was experiencing it for the first time and regretting every minute of it. Fairytales never told you how quickly that spark can turn into hate.

“She wants to reopen The Sea Watch.”

Jack let out a long, low whistle and looked me in the eye. “No wonder you’re so pissed off.”

“She’s going to have tourists here within the year and not just driving through on their way to Key West. They’ll be here pushing for more restaurants, more bars, nightclubs, who knows?”

“You know I hate to say it…”

“Then don’t.” I shot Jack a warning glance. The last thing I needed to hear was him actually defending her.

“Well, now you know I can’t resist.” The sparkle of boyish rebellion was shining in his eyes. “The Sea Watch was never a huge place. Grand, sure, but not exactly a mega-resort.”

“These things always start small before growing out of control like a cancer.”

“Comparing her to cancer? You must like this girl a lot.” Jack clinked the neck of his bottle against mine and laughed while I stewed.

Chapter Seven

Olivia

I stared down at the glittering band cool and heavy against my palm. These diamonds were once just ordinary stones lodged deep inside the Earth until a millennia of heat, pressure and friction re-forged them into the light catching gems in my hand. I wished I could be sure the pressure and friction of my life would have such a transformative effect on me. So far, only a month after finding Chris with his study partner, I felt no harder and no stronger. Certainly no more brilliant than before.

I had worn this ring proudly from the moment Chris gave it to me until that first night after I found him with Ms. Red Shoe. Drunk and alone at the motel on the outskirts of town I had spent hours staring down at the band across my finger marking me as an engaged woman. A woman with a man at home who loved her. The last image of him in bed with Red Shoe made me want to tear the ring off my finger and leave it as a tip for the maid. Maybe she would have better luck with it than I. Every glitter of the diamond seemed like a lie but taking it off was a pain that was almost unbearable. Taking off the engagement ring and getting rid of it seemed like acceptance. It seemed like defeat.

Finally, I reached a compromise with myself. I couldn’t stand the feel of it against my skin at that moment but I wouldn’t get rid of it either. Maybe the next day when Chris cowered and pleaded for my forgiveness we could be on the road to recovery. I slid the metal off of my skin and set it aside carefully feeling more naked than if I had torn my pants off and danced the samba through the lobby. A part of me truly believed it would be on my finger again before the month was out.

After that, it lived in a little zippered pocket in my makeup bag. The swell of it against the thin fabric caught my eye every time I reached for my mascara or blush. I had thought of selling it at least half a hundred times since I arrived in Tamarind Key but each time the image of walking into a pawn shop and releasing the last memento of our relationship made my heart clench.

This time is going to be different. This time I’m going to be strong.
I had a new life now. I wish I could say I rose from the ashes of my broken heart like a phoenix, bright and resplendent but that wasn’t the truth. I had been building my new life brick by brick like a toddler stacking blocks. Each stood on the next not fitting exactly right but with my hope and will I wanted to keep my tremulous little tower standing. The first step was letting go of the past, pushing away the memory of past towers that had fallen down around me. You can’t build on the rubble and debris of the past, you have to raze the earth.

The nearest pawn shop was in Marathon. I rode there on the back of Nana’s scooter with an honor guard of brightly colored Vespas all around me.

“You sure you’re ready, Liv?” Nana had asked in the parking lot.

“I have to be. It’s been four weeks.”

“Then let’s get some cash in our pockets and see some turtles!” Ellen said brightly. Ostensibly, the Bingo Bruisers were here for a day trip to visit The Turtle Hospital, a rescue organization for sick and injured sea turtles. In reality they were there to prop me up on that long slow walk towards the neon sign flashing “We Buy Jewelry!”

The pawn shop was refreshingly cool after the long hot ride down US 1. I had expected something dusty, dark and mysterious. A cabinet of curiosities detailing the pain and loss of the human condition. Instead I found a clean, well lit store indistinguishable from any of the others renting space in the strip mall. The man behind the counter was not what I expected at all either. Although, I suppose expecting Peter Lorre had been unrealistic. He was closer to Nana’s age and smiled kindly when we walked in. It was obvious he had seen a face like mine more than once.

“How can I help you ladies today?”

Nana gave me a little shove with her shoulder until I stepped forward. “I’m here to sell a ring.” I couldn’t say the words
my ring
and certainly not
my engagement ring
so I settled for keeping it short and sweet.

“Let’s take a look at it.” The clerk said, fumbling with a jeweler’s loupe with thick knuckled fingers.

I tried to keep my hand from trembling as I handed over the ring wrapped in a little wad of tissue to keep it from getting lost in the unfathomable depths of my purse. He placed the loupe up to his eyes and carefully opened the package. I was relieved when I saw it. The gold seemed to gleam dully, the diamonds didn’t shine the way they used to. I felt like I was finally getting some distance.

“Ok it’s 18 karat, 2.2 mm width, three stones,” the man ticked off his technical description while my heart felt heavy and numb. “Center diamond is round cut .75 carat medium grade. I can give you $700 for this.” He looked up with a smile, his one eye comically obscured by the big black loupe.

I walked out of the shop, back into the heat of the Keys that slammed into your body like a brick wall. Seven one hundred dollar bills were burning in my wallet.

“Drinks are on Olivia tonight!” Lois crowed as we hopped back on the scooters and took off towards The Turtle Hospital.

The ride to The Turtle Hospital gave me a blissful moment of silence and solitude. Well, as blissful as riding pillion behind your Nana on her Vespa can be. The wind was rushing through my ears obliterating any attempts at conversation and it was exactly what I needed. I tried to con my own heart to place a name on my feelings but what I came up with was less than satisfying:
nostalgia
. Pawning my engagement ring meant the end of an era. The end of a time and the dreams that I had but instead of the sharp ache of heartbreak I felt a dull pain of loss. Like learning that your elementary school photos had been destroyed in a fire. Something irrevocable was gone but it wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe I was finally healing.

The hospital was housed in a bright green building that had begun its life as a roadside motel until the eighties when a group dedicated to saving injured and sick sea turtles had taken over. The guide took us through the tour, a bubbly young blonde woman with a spring in her step and real passion in her voice. I could remember being an optimistic undergrad with the same determination. Back when the world seemed to be full of bright possibilities and chances for me to make a difference.

But our tour guide was actually making a difference while I was languishing and nursing a broken heart. She was selflessly dedicating her life to help these animals. What was I going to do? Stay here forever hiding out from life and inevitable pain? Was my fear of failure so great that it would paralyze me until I became hardened, with roots sunk deep into feigned apathy?

I glanced down at the next pool where a huge loggerhead was paddling gently. He looked at me with his wizened eyes and an almost human expression. The guide explained that he had been hit by a boat. Another casualty of human encroachment as Landon often talked about. From the moment he popped into my head I was glad he wasn’t here. Seeing these beautiful animal struck down by carelessness was already hard enough.

It was the same story over and over. Here a flipper lost to an abandoned lobster trap. There a turtle who had swallowed plastic detritus floating in the ocean. The pools seemed to stretch forever underneath the blazing sun like a list of our sins laid bare. Was Landon right? Was garbage and waste all we could offer to the world? Were we so tied up in the minutiae of our day to day lives that we didn’t even stop to think about how that soda can tossed from a car window would lay at the bottom of the sea for decades?

We stopped at a local tiki bar to grab drinks and food after the tour. Verna noticed my silence and nudged me softly under the table with an orthopedic shoe.

“You’re awful quiet, Liv. I hope you’re not dwelling on that jerk again. Getting rid of that ring was the best thing for you.”

As she said it, I realized that I hadn’t thought about Chris once since the drive from the pawn shop parking lot. I wondered if this was what healing felt like, the person who had once been forefront in your mind just gradually receded into distant memory.

“No, it’s not about the ring. It’s my life, everything. I know what I want to do but…” I struggled to find the words to explain my conflicting, warring thoughts. “But I’m worried I’ll fail. And at the same time I’m worried it’s the wrong thing to want! Look at those turtles back there, they were all injured because people are shallow and careless. Now I’m sitting here wanting to bring more people into the keys?”

“Those turtles were injured by people but they were also saved by them.” Lois said softly. “Just look at what The Turtle Hospital is doing. They bring people from all over the country down here but they leave them a little wiser and with a little more appreciation for what we have.”

“Landon said-” I started meekly but Nana cut me off almost instantly.

“Landon Fitzpatrick is a fine boy but he has his own demons to work through. As in all things, there’s usually a middle ground and you can’t take the weight of humanity’s sins on your shoulders like he does. Besides, since when have you cared about anything he has to say?”

“Do you know who some of the most ardent conservationists are?” Lilly asked. “Hunters. When people go out on the land, enjoy it and use it they develop an appreciation for it. More than that, they’ll actively work to protect it. If you start your hotel and show people why they should care, they will. Now finish your drink so we can order the next round.”

I gulped down the last of my wine and smiled. Their words had touched me deeply, more than just allaying my fears each one had expressed no doubt that I could do it if I put my mind to it. They all seemed to have an unwavering faith in me. I wished I could feel the same.

The ride back to Tamarind was peaceful. There were few cars on the road and the water glowed silver in the moonlight on either side of the long empty stretch of road. The warm wind whipped against my face and I felt myself letting go for the first time. Letting go of Chris, letting go of the past and more than anything, letting go of my fears.