The Journey to the End of the World (Joel Gustafson Stories) (6 page)

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Authors: Henning Mankell

BOOK: The Journey to the End of the World (Joel Gustafson Stories)
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Joel could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He pointed to the bench.
‘There,’ he said. ‘But he’s disappeared. And so has my rucksack.’
‘That’s blown it!’ said Samuel. ‘You can’t trust all and sundry. He’s obviously nicked your rucksack.’
Joel was struggling to hold back the tears. He realised how stupid he’d been. The Black Wave had sat down on the bench next to Joel in order to try and steal the suitcase and the cardboard box and the rucksack. He’d seen immediately that Joel was in town for the first time. And what had he asked about? Are you going off somewhere? And what had Joel told him? I’ve just arrived. From up north.
How stupid could you get?
‘We’re in a bit of a mess now,’ said Samuel. ‘We’d better find a policeman and report this.’
‘Maybe he’s still around somewhere,’ said Joel.
‘No chance,’ said Samuel. ‘You can bet your life there’ll be no trace of him.’
‘But what use would my rucksack be to him?’ Joel asked. ‘There was nothing in it. Only my old clothes.’
‘A good question,’ said Samuel. ‘But we’re not going to get an answer.’
Samuel walked purposefully towards a police constable who was patrolling the concourse. He explained what had happened. Joel noticed that Samuel was different now. It was as if his back had straightened itself out. The policeman escorted them to the police station. Another officer noted down everything Joel said. What the rucksack looked like. And what had been inside it.
But what the policeman wanted to know most of all was what The Black Wave had looked like.
Joel could remember him well. The shirt and the suit, the tie and the pointed shoes.
When they finished, Samuel signed a document.
‘We don’t have a local address,’ said Samuel. ‘We’re only here for a visit.’
‘Then you’ll have to come back here to ask if we’ve managed to catch the thief,’ said the police constable.
They went back out into the station concourse. Joel looked round.
‘They’ll never find him,’ said Samuel. ‘He’s vanished.’
‘My toothbrush, though,’ said Joel. ‘What does he want my toothbrush for?’
Samuel didn’t answer.
‘We’d better find ourselves a hotel now,’ he said. ‘And then we can try to buy you a few items of clothing.’
‘I don’t need anything,’ said Joel.
Samuel looked him up and down, worried.
‘We mustn’t forget why we’re here,’ he said. ‘And after all, we can be pleased that we still have the
Celestine
.’
They left the station and went into the street.
Joel was overwhelmed by all the traffic.
Samuel looked around to establish his bearings.
Then they started walking.
4
Samuel spotted a building displaying a hotel sign.
At that very moment it started raining.
The building was old and gloomy. It was squeezed into a block next to the railway station. Samuel stopped several times, hesitated, then started walking again with Joel a couple of paces behind him.
Joel was still fretting about being so stupid as to allow The Black Wave to make a fool of him.
All kinds of thoughts went shooting through his head.
He ought to have stayed at home.
He was too stupid to be let loose in the world.
He ought to forget all about the possibility of becoming a sailor one of these days.
He should do what Samuel had done. Become a lumberjack. Nothing else.
He ought to acquire a stoop, shave carelessly and get drunk whenever things were getting him down.
Joel was so angry and bitter that he sometimes started talking to himself aloud. Samuel turned round.
‘What was that you said?’ he asked.
‘Nothing.’
‘But I heard you say something.’
‘You heard wrong.’
Samuel eyed him thoughtfully. Then they carried on walking.
They stopped outside the hotel. The building was in a bad state of repair. Patches of plaster had fallen off the façade. An upstairs window was banging in the breeze.
‘This place looks good,’ said Samuel, as if he were trying to cheer himself up.
‘It looks awful,’ muttered Joel; but he was careful not to speak loudly enough for Samuel to hear what he said.
They went into the lobby. There was a strong smell of disinfectant. A bald man with thick-lensed glasses was sitting at a desk, peering at a newspaper.
They took a double room. Samuel paid in advance for two nights.
‘Will breakfast be served?’ Samuel asked, as he stood with the key in his hand.
‘Of course it will,’ said the bald man. ‘But not here.’
Joel saw that Samuel was blushing. He’d never seen that happen before.
‘If I ask a sensible question I expect to get a sensible answer,’ said Samuel. His voice was shaking. He was angry.
The bald man lowered his newspaper.
‘If you’re not satisfied you can always go and find another hotel.’
‘Where can we get breakfast?’ Samuel asked. ‘And where can we get dinner?’
He was still angry.
‘There are lots of cafés and restaurants around here.’
Joel could feel Samuel’s anger brushing off onto him.
Joel took a step forward and stood shoulder to shoulder with Samuel.
‘We also need to find a clothes shop,’ he said. ‘Somebody’s stolen my rucksack.’
‘First turning on the left,’ said the bald man.
They went to the lift. The room they had been given was on the third floor. Samuel paused and turned round.
‘One other thing,’ he said. ‘If we get a telephone call, we’re not in.’
The bald man bowed and nodded.
They walked up the stairs.
‘What was all that about?’ asked Joel. ‘What telephone call? Why aren’t we in?’
Samuel chuckled.
‘We can’t have him thinking that he can treat us however he likes. If you’re expecting a telephone call, people think you are on important business. People are stupid.’
‘I’m stupid,’ said Joel. ‘I let somebody nick my rucksack.’
‘You’ll learn,’ said Samuel. ‘I’ve had things stolen, in the past. When I was a sailor. And had gone on shore leave in various places. You do silly things at times. And clever things at other times. That’s life. You’ll learn.’
It was dark in the corridor.
They eventually located room 303.
They unlocked the door and went in. Everything in the room was brown. There was a patch of damp on the wallpaper, which was also brown. Samuel looked round and went over to the window.
‘At least we’ve got a view of the street,’ he said. ‘It’ll do.’
Joel thought the room was fine. It was the first time he’d ever stayed in a hotel. He couldn’t imagine how it could be any better. Two big beds with a table and bedside lamp between them.
‘Choose which of the beds you want,’ said Samuel.
Joel took the one closest to the window. From it he had a view of a rooftop.
Joel carefully unpacked the present they’d brought for Mummy Jenny. He was worried in case it had been damaged. He and Samuel examined it.
‘All in one piece,’ said Samuel.
Joel placed it gently on the chest of drawers.
‘
Celestine
has travelled just as far as we have,’ he said.
They both stretched out on their beds.
‘Take your shoes off,’ said Samuel. ‘So that you don’t dirty the cover.’
In his head Joel unpacked his invisible rucksack. No doubt The Black Wave would throw away everything he found in it. Joel’s shirts, and his best trousers. Not to mention his trainers. That was the worst thing. Not having those any more.
‘Don’t think about the rucksack,’ Samuel said out of the blue. ‘That’s life. It’s gone.’
‘I wasn’t thinking about the rucksack,’ said Joel. ‘I was thinking about my trainers.’
They lay there in silence. It was pouring with rain now. Drops were hitting hard against the windowpane.
I’m in Stockholm, Joel thought.
I’ve left school. I’ve travelled here with Samuel. And somewhere out there in the rain is Mummy Jenny.
He turned his head to look at Samuel. His dad’s eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep.
‘What shall we do now?’ Joel wondered.
‘Wait until it stops raining,’ said Samuel, without opening his eyes.
‘But it might rain for a whole week.’
Samuel didn’t respond. He smiled. Joel wondered what he was thinking about. Most probably about Jenny. But were his thoughts anxious ones? Or was he angry?
Joel decided it might be easier to ask Samuel questions when they weren’t at home. Perhaps it was easier to get answers to your questions when you were in a hotel room?
‘What actually happened?’ he asked.
Samuel turned his head and opened his eyes.
‘Happened?’
‘When Mummy Jenny vanished.’
‘She packed a case and left.’
Joel waited for what was coming next, but nothing did.
‘Is that all? Just packed a case and left?’
‘Yes.’
‘Surely there must be something else?’
‘The suitcase was brown. She was wearing a green coat. And a red hat. I can’t remember what colour her shoes were.’
‘And you were in the forest?’
‘I was in the forest.’
‘Where was I?’
‘You were downstairs in old Mrs Westman’s flat. She used to take care of you when Jenny was out shopping, or taking an afternoon nap.’
‘And you knew nothing about it? You hadn’t seen her packing her case? Or going to the railway station to buy a ticket?’
‘She took a bus.’
‘Didn’t she leave a letter?’
‘No, nothing at all. The only thing on the table was the outside door key.’
Joel felt as if he were going round in circles. Now it was time to stop and jump into the middle. Where the important questions were.
‘Had you been quarrelling?’
‘No.’
One more jump now, Joel. A bit closer to the middle.
‘Had you been drinking?’
There was a pause before the answer came. But come it did.
‘I hadn’t been drinking. I didn’t drink in those days. Not when she was around. Never ever. And if she hadn’t left me I’d never have started either.’
Joel was right in the middle now. He couldn’t get any further in.
‘Mums don’t run away like that. It’s dads who vanish. Not mums. Something must have happened.’
Samuel sat up on the bed. So violently that it gave Joel a start. He thought he must have said something that had made Samuel angry.
But the eyes that were looking at Joel were not angry. They were Samuel’s normal eyes. Tired and perhaps a little sad.
‘Do you think I haven’t been wondering about that?’ said Samuel. ‘I’ve been thinking about it for thirteen years. Every single day. Why did she leave me? All I know is that she’s the only person who can answer that question. And that’s why we’re here. I want to know. Once and for all. Why she packed her case and left us.’
‘Maybe she won’t want to tell us,’ said Joel hesitantly.
Samuel had lain down again.
‘At least she ought to explain it to you,’ he said after a while. ‘You’re her son after all.’
The sound of a vacuum cleaner came from the corridor. Joel looked out of the window. The rain was easing off.
‘What shall we do?’ he asked.
‘First we’ll have something to eat,’ said Samuel. ‘Then we’ll go and buy you some clothes. And then we’ll go looking for Mummy Jenny.’
‘I don’t need any clothes,’ said Joel.
‘I’ve no intention of letting you meet your mum in scruffy old clothes,’ said Samuel. ‘But we don’t need to buy the most expensive clobber we can find.’
The rain died away.
Soon there was just the occasional drop on the window ledge. Samuel disappeared into the corridor, looking for a bathroom where he could get shaved.
Joel was looking at a painting hanging on the wall above the chest of drawers.
It depicted a woman with large breasts sitting down under a tree, leaning against the trunk. Next to her was a man kneeling down and playing the violin.

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