Authors: Shelia M. Goss
I turned the volume back up on the television as loud as it would go.
Even with the television being up loud, I could hear Royce calling out my name.
I hit the mute button. “What?” I rolled my eyes and shifted in my seat so I could see him.
“Have you been looking for this?” Royce waved my cell phone back and forth.
“Nope. I don't feel like talking to anyone.”
“Why is Jason texting you?”
“I don't know. Ask him.” I bit my lip and turned back in my seat.
“Here.” I practically shoved the phone in Lexi's hand.
She took it and went back to ignoring me and watching television.
Jason had no business texting my woman. She didn't have to tell me. I would find out on my own, after I found something to eat. I hadn't eaten all day, and my stomach was letting me know it.
Two hours later, I knocked on the door belonging to my ex-best friend. Jason opened the door. “Royce, I'm surprised to see you here.”
“Me, too.”
He shifted to the side. “Come on in. You want a brew?”
“No, I'm good.”
We each took a seat. “Jason, we were boys. What happened?”
Jason wouldn't look up at me; instead he stared at a spot on the floor. “I got greedy. Bills started coming in. Everything got out of hand.”
“You're an accountant. You know how to budget.”
“Every time I turned around you were getting a new car for you, for Lexi, for one of the kids.”
“That's the problem. Everybody want to be like the Joneses, but don't know what's going on. Most of the cars we got were leased. I was able to switch cars out every two years because of that. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been switching cars that often.”
“Oh, I didn't know.”
“No, you didn't, and you didn't bother to ask.”
“Sorry, man. Can you forgive me?”
“Before this weekend, I would have said no, but maybe.”
“That's all I've wanted. I want to get my friend back.”
“What you did was foul.”
“I regret it. Believe me.”
“You can stop harassing Lexi now.”
“Lexi hasn't talked to you?” Jason looked up at me. This time he looked me directly in the eyes.
“Right now, we are not on talking terms.”
“In order for us to get our friendship back on track, I don't want any more secrets between us,” Jason said.
“I agree.”
“Remember when you were running back and forth to Marshall to be with that woman? What was her name?”
“Ruth Ann,” I responded.
“Remember how you encouraged me to spend time with Lexi so she wouldn't be by herself worried about you?”
I didn't like the way our conversation was going. “Man, get straight to the point. I don't have time for a trip down memory lane.”
“To make a long story short, Lexi and I slept together andâ”
Before Jason could get his full sentence out, I had jumped out of my seat and hit him in the face. I punched him several times. Blood splattered everywhere. He didn't even try to defend himself. When I got tired of hitting him, he fell back in his chair.
He looked up at me and said, “I deserved that.”
I held my hand up. I was about to wrap them around his neck, but instead, I rushed out of his house and jumped in my car. I sped home. I called out, “Lexi!” as soon as I walked through the door.
I didn't get any response. I walked up the stairs, taking them
two at a time. The bedroom door was closed. I didn't knock. I burst in.
“Royce, have you lost your mind?” Lexi's eyes landed on my bloodied shirt.
“How long has this thing with you and Jason been going on?”
“What?” She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about.
“Don't play dumb with me. Jason told me everything. He confessed to your affair. To think I felt bad about what happened with Ruth Ann, when you've been busy screwing my best friend behind my back.”
Lexi hopped up off the bed. “Royce, it's not what you think. It only happened one time.”
She grabbed my arm. I moved. She fell back on the bed. Rage filled my eyes. “And that's supposed to make it all right?”
“I'm sorry. It's not like what you did. We didn't have an affair.”
“When Lexi? When did it happen?”
She looked away. I went and got in her face. I grabbed her chin and tilted it up. “Look at me. When did it happen?”
Lexi responded, “About a year before Lovie was born. During the time you were sleeping with Ruth Ann.” Lexi stretched the word “Ann.”
“I've been the biggest fool. I guess you and Jason had plenty of laughs about how stupid I was.”
“I've never liked Jason. I told you that. I told you he was jealous of you, but you wouldn't listen.”
Lexi was talking, but I wasn't hearing her. All I could see was red. I held my head and rocked back and forth. Lexi reached for my arm again.
“Don't touch me,” I said with clenched teeth.
Lexi started explaining herself. I didn't want to listen, but I did.
“It happened on one of those weekends you were out of town. I sort of suspected there was another woman. But instead of confronting you about it, I cried on Jason's shoulder. He took advantage of my vulnerable state and kissed me. The kiss led to us having sex on the couch. When I came to my senses, I kicked him out. I tried to warn you about him, but you wouldn't listen.”
“I'm married to you, not Jason. You shouldn't have been so easily persuaded. Lexi, he was my best friend.”
“And you were my husband. And you weren't there for me. You were there for her.” Lexi picked up a picture of Ruth Ann and threw it at me.
Lexi stormed out of the room. I picked up the picture and tore it to pieces. I felt like punching something, but instead I wept for my marriage.
O
ur family went from one crisis to another. I just got off the phone with my mom. She wanted us to come to the house to talk about something else.
Since I had more gas in my car than Hope, I drove. “I hope they're not getting a divorce,” Hope said.
“If they do, it's not going to make me love either one less,” I responded.
Lovie's SUV was already parked. I used my key and entered. My mom and Lovie were seated in the living room.
“Where's Dad?” I asked.
“He's upstairs. I wanted to talk to you all in person. There's something I need to share with you. I want you to hear it from me, and nobody else.”
“Please, don't tell me you're divorcing,” Hope blurted out.
“No, we're not divorcing.” We all turned toward the sound of my dad's voice.
“Royce.” My mom whispered his name.
“Continue on,” he said, as he took a seat far away from us.
My mom looked at my dad and then back at each one of us. “I'm ashamed to say your dad isn't the only one who's cheated.”
My mouth flew open.
My eyes were glued on my mom. “I didn't have an affair, but I did have a weak moment once, and cheated on your father.”
Lovie didn't say anything. Hope and I stared at her. I was the first to speak. “So neither of you believe in being faithful. What kind of role models are you guys?”
“The only reason I'm telling you all is because we don't need any more secrets between us.”
“Since you're telling the story, tell them with whom,” my dad said.
“Royce, maybe we shouldn't.”
Lovie blurted out, “It was with Jason.”
All eyes were now on Lovie.
I looked at Lovie and then at my mom. “Is that true? You and Uncle Jason?”
“I'm afraid so.”
I ran out of the room. My dad ran behind me. He grabbed me into a tight hug. I cried on his shoulder. “Let it out. That's it, Baby Girl.”
“Our family is falling apart.” I wailed on and on.
“It's going to be okay. This is just a speed bump. We've made it through other hard times.” He did his best to assure me, but at that moment I didn't believe him.
My mom walked up. “Royce, let me.”
I felt his arm dropping from around me. My mom replaced his arms with hers. I wanted to pull away, but I didn't. She said, “I'm sorry. What I did hurt youâ¦it hurt your father. I'm not trying to make any excuses, but that was a different time. I was a different woman. Immature. I didn't understand the trials and tribulations of a marriage, especially to a man like your father.”
“But with Uncle Jason? That was supposed to be his best friend.”
“Exactly. Now you understand why I've never really liked him. He's been a thorn in my side ever since it happened.”
“If you were doing the same thing Dad was doing, then you shouldn't have been upset when you found out about Tyler's mom.”
“Baby Girl, Royce's affair with that woman is what caused me to seek comfort in the arms of another man in the first place.”
She walked and looked out the window. “Back then, we were in a smaller house. Royce left me by myself almost every weekend. The house felt huge and empty without him there.”
I walked up near her. “So Uncle Jason's always been a snake in the grass?”
“Why do say that? I thought you girls adored him at one time.”
“I did until I found out what he did.”
“If it was up to me, he would never have handled the accounts for the business, but your dad made the decision, so I left it alone.”
I contemplated whether to expose Jason and Hope's affair. Even though Hope was legally eighteen when it started, something just didn't seem right about it. It was borderline incest to me.
“Mom, I think you should talk to Hope.”
“I am. I wanted to make sure you were okay first.”
“I'm not okay with any of this.” I threw my hand up in the air and went back in the living room.
Lovie was standing in the corner talking on his phone. My dad was changing stations on the television, but the volume was low so there was no sound.
Hope was flipping through a magazine.
My mom walked back in the room. “Hope, Charity thinks I should talk to you. Why don't you follow me to the kitchen?”
Hope looked at me and mouthed the words, “Did you tell her?”
I shook my head.
She mouthed the words. “I'm going to get you.”
I sucked on my bottom lip.
I
wanted to kill Charity. It was not her place to tell Mom about Jason. Our family was dealing with enough stuff. My mom didn't need to know what Jason and I had been doing. She poured two glasses of juice and sat at the table. She placed one glass in front of me.
“I'm sorry for all of this,” my mom said.
I sipped on the orange juice. I didn't have much to say.
“Charity said you had something you needed to get off your chest.”
“Charity has a big mouth.”
“Look, dear. We've had too many secrets in this family. If there's something you need to say, just say it. It's not going to make me feel any different about you. I love you. You're my baby.”
The tenderness I saw in my mom's eyes softened my heart toward her. I closed my eyes. “Jason and I have been sleeping together since I was eighteen.”
I exhaled and opened up my eyes. My mom grabbed her heart. “I'm going to kill him.”
She ran toward the closet and started fumbling through it.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
“I'm looking for the gun. I can't believe he did this to my baby.”
I grabbed her arm.
“Baby, move out of the way.” She went back to looking through the closet.
She ran toward the living room. I ran behind her. She shouted, “Royce, where did you move the gun that was downstairs?”
“It's put up,” he responded.
“I need it.”
Lovie and Charity looked at me. “Mom, no you don't. He's not worth it.”
Lovie ran up to my mom and tried to calm her down. “Mom, sit. We can talk about this.”
My mom looked at me. “Why didn't you tell me?” Tears flowed down her cheeks.
“I didn't know. I swear I didn't know.”
My dad, who normally didn't get hysterical like my mom, yelled, “Somebody tell me what's going on, now!”
My mom said, “That friend of yours molested my baby. I'm going to kill him.”
My dad looked at me. “Is that true?”
“I was eighteen when it first happened.”
“Lexi, you won't have to kill him. I'm going to kill him. He's harmed my family enough.” He got up and ran upstairs.
“Mom, you got to stop him. He's not worth it. I promise you he isn't.”
She ignored me. She looked at Lovie. “Make sure your sisters are okay. I'm going with your dad.”
“Mom, let me handle this,” Lovie said.
“No. I should have removed him from our lives the night he took advantage of me. He will no longer do any harm to this family.”
My dad came down the stairs holding a gun. I ran up to him. “Dad, please don't. Hasn't enough blood been shed?”
“Lovie, get your sister.” was his only response. He pushed me out of the way.
“Please,” I pled, as my mom and dad jumped into my father's car.
I looked at Charity. “This is all your fault. You shouldn't have insisted that I tell.”
Lovie paced back and forth. “Look. No sense in playing the blame game. Somebody has to stop Dad before he does something he'll regret doing later. I'm out.”
“But, you're supposed to stay with us,” I said.
“Charity, take care of Hope. I got to beat them there.”
Lovie pulled out his cell phone and made a phone call while rushing to his SUV.
“We can't just stand here and do nothing. Come on.” Charity grabbed her purse and keys and led me to the car.