The Iceman Cometh (18 page)

With forced enthusiasm
.

Besides, I feel the call of the old carefree circus life in my blood again. I’ll see the boss tomorrow. It’s late in the season but he’ll be glad to take me on. And won’t all the old gang be tickled to death when I show up on the lot!

MCGLOIN

Maybe—if they’ve got a rope handy!

MOSHER

Turns on him
—
angrily
.

Listen! I’m damned sick of that kidding!

MCGLOIN

You are, are you? Well, I’m sicker of your kidding me about getting reinstated on the Force. And whatever you’d like, I can’t spend my life sitting here with you, ruining my stomach with rotgut. I’m tapering off, and in the morning I’ll be fresh as a daisy. I’ll go and have a private chin with the Commissioner.

With forced enthusiasm
.

Man alive, from what the boys tell me, there’s sugar galore these days, and I’ll soon be ridin’ around in a big red automobile—

MOSHER

Derisively
—
beckoning an imaginary Chinese
.

Here, One Lung Hop! Put fresh peanut oil in the lamp and cook the Lieutenant another dozen pills! It’s his gowed-up night!

MCGLOIN

Stung
—
pulls back a fist threateningly
.

One more crack like that and I’ll—!

MOSHER

Putting up his fists
.

Yes? Just start—!

CHUCK
and
ROCKY
jump between them
.

ROCKY

Hey! Are you guys nuts? Jees, it’s Harry’s boithday party!

They both look guilty
.

Sit down and behave.

MOSHER

Grumpily
.

All right. Only tell him to lay off me.

He lets
ROCKY
push him in a chair, at the right end of the table, rear
.

MCGLOIN

Grumpily
.

Tell him to lay off me.

He lets
CHUCK
push him into the chair
on
MOSHER’S
left. At this moment
HICKEY
bursts in from the hall, bustling and excited
.

HICKEY

Everything all set? Fine!

He glances at his watch
.

Half a minute to go. Harry’s starting down with Jimmy. I had a hard time getting them to move! They’d rather stay hiding up there, kidding each other along.

He chuckles
.

Harry don’t even want to remember its his birthday now!

He hears a noise from the stairs
.

Here they come!

Urgently
.

Light the candles! Get ready to play, Cora! Stand up, everybody! Get that wine ready, Chuck and Rocky!

MARGIE
and
PEARL
light the candles on the cake
.
CORA
gets her hands set over the piano keys, watching over her shoulder
.
ROCKY
and
CHUCK
go in the bar. Everybody at the table stands up mechanically
.
HUGO
is the last, suddenly coming to and scrambling to his feet
.
HARRY HOPE
and
JIMMY TOMORROW
appear in the hall outside the door
.
HICKEY
looks up from his watch
.

On the dot! It’s twelve!

Like a cheer leader
.

Come on now, everybody, with a Happy Birthday, Harry!
With his voice leading they all shout
“
Happy Birthday Harry!
”
in a spiritless chorus
.
HICKEY
signals to
CORA
,
who starts playing and singing in a whiskey soprano
“
She’s the Sunshine of Paradise Alley
.”
HOPE
and
JIMMY
stand in the doorway. Both have been drinking heavily. In
HOPE
the effect is apparent only in a bristling, touchy, pugnacious attitude. It is entirely different from the usual irascible beefing he delights in and which no one takes seriously. Now he really has a chip on his shoulder
.
JIMMY
,
on the other hand, is plainly drunk, but it has not had the desired effect, for beneath a pathetic assumption of gentlemanly poise, he is obviously frightened and shrinking back within himself
.
HICKEY
grabs
hope’s
hand and pumps it up and down. For a moment
hope
appears unconscious of this handshake. Then he jerks his hand away angrily
.

HOPE

Cut out the glad hand, Hickey. D’you think I’m a sucker? I know you, bejees, you sneaking, lying drummer!

With rising anger, to the others
.

And all you bums! What the hell you trying to do, yelling and raising the roof? Want the cops to close the joint and get my license taken away?

He yells at
CORA
who has stopped singing but continues to play mechanically with many mistakes
.

Hey, you dumb tart, quit banging that box! Bejees, the least you could do is learn the tune!

CORA

Stops
—
deeply hurt
.

Aw, Harry! Jees, ain’t I—

Her eyes begin to fill
.

HOPE

Glaring at the other girls
.

And you two hookers, screaming at the top of your lungs! What d’you think this is, a dollar cathouse? Bejees, that’s where you belong!

PEARL

Miserably
.

Aw, Harry—

She begins to cry
.

MARGIE

Jees, Harry, I never thought you’d say that—like yuh meant it.

She puts her arm around
PEARL
—
on the verge of tears herself
. Aw, don’t bawl, Poil. He don’t mean it.

HICKEY

Reproachfully
.

Now, Harry! Don’t take it out on the gang because you’re upset about yourself. Anyway, I’ve promised you you’ll come through all right, haven’t I? So quit worrying.

He slaps
HOPE
on the back encouragingly
.
HOPE
flashes him a g
la
nce of hate
.

Be yourself, Governor. You don’t want to bawl out the old gang just when they’re congratulating you on your birthday, do you? Hell, that’s no way!

HOPE

Looking guilty and shamefaced now
—
forcing an unconvincing attempt at his natural tone
.

Bejees, they ain’t as dumb as you. They know I was only kidding them. They know I appreciate their congratulations. Don’t you, fellers?

There is a listless chorus of
“
Sure, Harry
,” “
Yes
,” “
Of course we do
,”
etc
.

He comes forward to the two girls, with
JIMMY
and
HICKEY
following him, and pats them clumsily
.

Bejees, I like you broads. You know I was only kidding.

Instantly they forgive him and smile affectionately
.

MARGIE

Sure we know, Harry.

PEARL

Sure.

HICKEY

Grinning
.

Sure. Harry’s the greatest kidder in this dump and that’s saying something! Look how he’s kidded himself for twenty years!

As
HOPE
gives him a bitter, angry glance, he digs him in the ribs with his elbow playfully
.

Unless I’m wrong, Governor, and I’m betting I’m not. We’ll soon know, eh? Tomorrow morning. No, by God, it’s
this
morning now!

JIMMY

With a dazed dread.

This morning?

HICKEY

Yes, it’s today at last, Jimmy.

He pats him on the back
.

Don’t be so scared! I’ve promised I’ll help you.

JIMMY

Trying to hide his dread behind an offended, drunken dignity
.

I don’t understand you. Kindly remember I’m fully capable of settling my own affairs!

HICKEY

Earnestly
.

Well, isn’t that exactly what I want you to do, settle with yourself once and for all?

He speaks in his ear in confidential warning
.

Only watch out on the booze, Jimmy. You know, not too much from now on. You’ve had a lot already, and you don’t want to let yourself duck out of it by being too drunk to move—not this time!
JIMMY
gives him a guilty, stricken look and turns away and slumps into the chair
on
MOSHER’S
right
.

HOPE

To
MARGIE
—
still guiltily
.

Bejees,
MARGIE
, you know I didn’t mean it. It’s that lousy drummer riding me that’s got my goat.

MARGIE

I know.

She puts a protecting arm around
hope
and turns him to face the table with the cake and presents
.

Come on. You ain’t noticed your cake yet. Ain’t it grand?

HOPE

Trying to brighten up
.

Say, that’s pretty. Ain’t ever had a cake since Bessie—Six candles. Each for ten years, eh? Bejees, that’s thoughtful of you.

PEARL

It was Hickey got it.

HOPE

His tone forced
.

Well, it was thoughtful of him. He means well, I guess.

His eyes, fixed on the cake, harden angrily
.

To hell with his cake.

He starts to turn away
.
PEARL
grabs his arm
.

PEARL

Wait, Harry. Yuh ain’t seen de presents from Margie and me and Cora and Chuck and Rocky. And dere’s a watch all engraved wid your name and de date from Hickey.

HOPE

To hell with it! Bejees, he can keep it!

This time he does turn away
.

PEARL

Jees, he ain’t even goin’ to look at our presents.

MARGIE

Bitterly
.

Dis is all wrong. We gotta put some life in dis party or I’ll go nuts! Hey, Cora, what’s de matter wid dat box? Can’t yuh play for Harry? Yuh don’t have to stop just because he kidded yuh!

HOPE

Rouses himself—with forced heartiness
.

Yes, come on, Cora. You was playing it fine.

CORA
begins to play halfheartedly
.
HOPE
suddenly becomes almost tearfully sentimental
.

It was Bessie’s favorite tune. She was always singing it. It brings her back. I wish—

He chokes up
.

HICKEY

Grins at him
—
amusedly
.

Yes, we’ve all heard you tell us you thought the world of her, Governor.

HOPE

Looks at him with frightened suspicion
.

Well, so I did, bejees! Everyone knows I did!

Threateningly
.

Bejees, if you say I didn’t—

HICKEY

Soothingly
.

Now, Governor. I didn’t say anything. You’re the only one knows the truth about that.

HOPE
stares at him confusedly
.
CORA
continues to play. For a moment there is a pause, broken
by
JIMMY TOMORROW
who speaks with muzzy, self pitying melancholy out of a sentimental dream
.

JIMMY

Marjorie’s favorite song was “Loch Lomond.” She was beautiful and she played the piano beautifully and she had a beautiful voice.
With gentle sorrow
.

You were lucky, Harry. Bessie died. But there are more bitter sorrows than losing the woman one loves by the hand of death—

HICKEY

With an amused wink at
HOPE
.

Now, listen, Jimmy, you needn’t go on. We’ve all heard that story about how you came back to Cape Town and found her in the hay with a staff officer. We know you like to believe that was what started you on the booze and ruined your life.

JIMMY

Stammers
.

I—I’m talking to Harry. Will you kindly keep out of—