The Houseguest A Pride and Prejudice Vagary (7 page)

Chapter
5

“Enter,” Elizabeth answered the knock on her dressing room door. 
Georgiana pushed the door open slightly and smiled at Elizabeth. She was in a
night shift and dressing gown, her blonde hair in a long braid down her back,
an innocent pink ribbon tied at the end. “May I come in, Miss Bennet?”
“Of course you may, Miss Darcy!” Elizabeth returned her smile. “But I must
insist you call me Elizabeth, or even Lizzy if you like. May I call you
Georgiana?”
“Oh yes, Miss-, Elizabeth. That would be wonderful!” 
Elizabeth couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. 
“Elizabeth?” she said is a small, sweet voice.
“Yes, Georgiana?”
“You know how you told me that you and your sister Jane used to sneak into each
other’s rooms and tell secrets under the blankets?”
“Of course I remember.”
“Well, I know I’m not your sister, and you may be rather tired and wish to
sleep right away, but…” Touched by the sweetness of her almost request,
Elizabeth took pity on her and interrupted.
“Georgiana, I am not too tired and I would be only too happy to whisper secrets
with you.”
“Truly?”
Giggling, they climbed onto Elizabeth’s enormous bed and talked of dresses and
bonnets, mean French tutors, dancing lessons, and other feminine pursuits.
After a while, Georgiana looked seriously at Elizabeth and asked, "Have
you ever been in love?"
"No, I have not. Why do you ask?"
"I just wonder what it feels like, that's all. Have you ever favored
anyone?"
"Well, there was this one boy, John. I suppose I would have been about 14
years old. He was the brother of one of my dearest friends. He was 18 and home
from university for the summer. I remember that I thought he was so
handsome." Elizabeth looked up dreamily. "He used to ride his horse
in the pasture adjoining my father's estate. I would climb up into the tree and
watch him on his morning ride; dreaming all the while of his attentions. It was
really all quite ridiculous." She smiled self-deprecatingly and shook her
head.
“Did you ever talk to him?”
“I would see him occasionally while visiting my friend and we’d exchange
pleasantries, but nothing significant. And I could hardly call out to him from
my perch in the tree!”
"You climbed up in a tree? You know how to climb trees?" Georgiana’s
eyes were wide and her mouth formed a soft ‘O’.
"Of course I know how to climb trees! Doesn't everyone?" Elizabeth
could tell by Georgiana's expression that she was one of the few who did
not
know how to climb trees. "Well, I
suppose it isn't a very ladylike pursuit. But as my mother would say, I was
always the ‘wild one’. And the impertinent one."
"I would never say you are impertinent!" Georgiana exclaimed.
"You are very kind to say so, Georgiana, but I do have it on good
authority that I am in fact rather impertinent. Although I hope I am never
ungracious."
"So what happened? Did he ever notice you in your tree?"
"No, he never noticed me. I watched him from afar and entertained the
occasional daydream. I even went so far as to embroider his initial on one of
my handkerchiefs. The next day, Jane was looking through my embroidery basket,
and I was afraid she would find it. So I snatched it up, and cut the letter out
right away.”
“Your sister didn’t know about him?”
“No! Of course not! I would have been too embarrassed! We live in a small
village and it wouldn’t have taken long for everyone to know about my
silliness. And knowing my mother, she would have had us paired off in a
fortnight. As it was, he went back to university that autumn, and I promptly
forgot about him. When I was finally out and saw him at an assembly, I couldn’t
fathom why I had been so enamored with him in the past. He is now married to a
lovely girl, and they have a lovely child and I am sure they are living a
lovely life together, without me. And I am happier for it."
"You are?"
"Yes, I am. I never really loved him, and now I know what an infatuation
feels like, and I shan’t make the mistake of thinking it stronger than it is or
something worth marrying over.”
“Do you wish to get married? Have you ever been courted?”
“Oh, such questions! Let’s see… I think I might like to marry one day, if I
were very attached to the gentleman. I think only the deepest love will
persuade me to matrimony, so I may likely die an old maid! I have never been
properly courted, no, though I did receive one very horrid proposal.” Elizabeth
made a disgusted face and Georgiana let out a giggle.
“You must tell me all about it! What happened? Did he get on his knee? Did he
recite sonnets? Was he terribly in love with you? Is he heartbroken?”
Elizabeth giggled and answered, “Well, he began by asking my mother for a
private audience with me. Then he gave me a horrible little flower he’d picked
from my own garden. He told me he loved me ‘violently’ and outlined what he was
to inherit, then proceeded to enumerate all the ways that he would make an
ideal husband and how he was willing to overlook my lack of fortune.”
“Oh no! It sounds so unpleasant! Go on.”
Elizabeth smiled at her, trying to suppress a laugh. “He told me all the
reasons he wished to marry, chiefly because his patroness wished it! I begged
him to stop, but he would not listen, so when he started going on about our
life together, I stopped him and told him that I had yet to make him an answer.
Then I thanked him and told him I could not marry him.”
Georgina gasped. “What did he say?”
“He told me he understood it was the ‘usual practice of elegant females’ to
refuse the first proposal, and accused me of trying to increase his love by
suspense.” At Georgiana’s wide eyes, she gave a short laugh and continued, “I
told him I was not the sort to torment a respectable man, and that I did not
believe he could make me happy and that I was the last person in the world who
could make him happy.”
“Oh no! How horrible! Did he believe you? Was he crushed?”
“Unfortunately, I do not think he did believe me. You see, he is a rather
ridiculous man and I don’t believe for a moment that he actually cared for me.
His pride was wounded, I am sure, but he seemed to rally rather quickly. He
proposed to my dearest friend less than a week later and they have now wed and
settled in Kent.”
“Oh my! I’ve never heard such a story. What a terrible proposal! And then to
propose to your friend only a few days later; how odd! It must have been a
horrid experience for you.”
“Not so horrid, only terribly embarrassing and not something I would choose to
repeat. I hope the next proposal will be from the right man, or I should not
wish for another one at all.”
Georgiana looked at her earnestly, and Elizabeth could tell something was
weighing on her mind.
“Georgiana, what is it?”
"I thought I was in love once," she said in a quiet voice.
"You did?" Elizabeth asked gently. She could tell the conversation
was taking a serious turn.
"Yes," she said hesitantly. "He was an old friend of the family.
I hadn't seen him in several years, but last summer I happened upon him in
Ramsgate, where I was spending a holiday with my companion, Mrs. Younge. They
seemed to know each other, and he was so happy to see me, and I had such fond
memories of him from my childhood that I thought spending time with him would
be all right."
Elizabeth simply nodded along, sensing something big was coming.
"He began coming by the cottage we had let nearly every day. He would walk
with us by the shore, and take me to the theater or to a concert. My companion
encouraged me to spend time with him, saying such an old family friend would
always be welcome. I did not know at the time that the two of them were working
together. You see, Miss Bennet, I mean Elizabeth, I have a rather large dowry.
Fitzwilliam tells me that when I marry I will come into 30,000 pounds. I must
confess that at the time, I did not know the exact number, but I did know that
I would have a large dowry. George was so kind to me, and paid me such
attention. No one had ever paid attention to me like that before. I enjoyed
being told how lovely I was and spoken to of music and all my favorite books.
He seemed to be so interested in me; I thought he adored me. I was such a
fool." She hung her head low.
"Oh, Georgiana." Elizabeth could see where this was going and she
knew it wasn't going to end well. She pulled Georgiana’s head to her shoulder
and put her arms around her, and began stroking her hair.
"It turned out that he had many debts and no profession and no chance of
any more money coming in. My father had left him a large inheritance, but he
had lost it all already. That's when he came looking for me. I was only ever a
fortune to him. It wouldn't have mattered whether I was pretty or plain,
whether or not I had any intelligence at all, if I was charming or ungracious;
all he saw was my dowry. The worst part of it was that I really did believe
him. I can't believe I was so taken in." There was a tinge of anger
accompanying the sadness in her voice.
She took a deep breath and continued, "He convinced me to elope with him.
He said the whole thing would be romantic; like something out of one of my
novels. He said we shouldn’t tell Fitzwilliam or the Colonel, but that we
should just show up after we were married, and that when my brother and cousin
saw how happy I was, they couldn't possibly be angry. Deep down I knew better,
but I did so want to please him. And it seemed to make sense when he said it,
though on reflection, I can't believe I ever listened to him.” She took a deep
breath and shook her head.
“The day before we were set to leave Ramsgate to get married, Fitzwilliam
decided to surprise me with a visit. He had felt terrible that he couldn’t
accompany me, but he had so much estate business to attend to that he couldn’t
get away. Seeing my brother made me realize that I would never possibly want to
get married without him there to witness it, so I told him everything. 
“I had never seen him so angry. His face became pale and his eyes turned to
stone. He didn't say a word for several minutes. He was so quiet that I thought
he might have forgotten my presence. Eventually, he asked where George was
staying and went to seek him out. Fitzwilliam told him that if he really loved
me and was genuinely interested in my well-being, he would wait for me to be
out, court me properly, ask permission to marry me, and then have a real
wedding, with my family present.” She sighed.
“Your brother told you right, dear,” Elizabeth said softly.
“George Wickham left Ramsgate that afternoon, and I never saw him again. He
didn't even tell me goodbye." Georgiana's head drooped forward with the
effort of her story.
"Mr. Wickham? George Wickham?"
"Yes. He was the son of my father's steward. Do you know him?"
"Yes, we are acquainted." That was all Elizabeth trusted herself to
say. So this was it. This was the missing piece in the story between Darcy and
Wickham. This was why they greeted each other so coldly, and why Darcy didn't
want to have anything to do with him. It certainly explained why Wickham
wouldn’t go anywhere near Darcy. He was lucky he hadn't chased him out of town!
But she didn't have time to think about that right now. She had to attend to
Georgiana.
"Georgiana, dearest, you mustn't blame yourself. You were very young, and
as your brother told you, he is an experienced seducer. He lies with a silver
tongue and makes you believe whatever he's saying. He comes across as amiable
and pleasing; however were you to know he was not to be trusted? You were but
15 years old. And he was not a total stranger, but rather a trusted figure from
your past, from a good family." Elizabeth stroked Georgiana's hair as she
reassured her.
"Oh Elizabeth! It is in every way horrible!” The dam of emotions was
letting go, and Georgiana trembled with the effort of her story. “After
Fitzwilliam found out, he told me Wickham was not to be trusted. But I didn’t
want to believe him. I knew in my heart I should believe my brother, who has
never misled me, but I wanted so badly to believe that Wickham loved me. Seeing
I doubted him, William told me the most horrible things about him. He had been
so horrible to William, racking up debts and leaving my brother to pay them.
And my father left him a living in Kymptom, but he refused to take
orders. 
“That was the hardest part. I pictured living at the parsonage, so close to
Pemberley, able to see my brother and my home any time I chose. But it was not
to be. Wickham demanded money in place of the living and was given it; William
later showed me the papers Wickham had signed. 3,000 pounds! He was given 3,000
pounds, plus the 1,000 my father had left him in his will, and he gambled it
all away in a few short years.
“After Fitzwilliam explained it to me, I understood why I had appealed to
Wickham. He was desperate for money, to pay his creditors and further his
habits, and wanted to punish Fitzwilliam for not giving in to his demands. And
I was foolish enough to believe him sincere. And to this snake I would have
been bound for all my life!” Georgiana was vehement, outraged, and grieved, hot
tears burning her cheeks. Elizabeth was struck by how much older she suddenly
seemed, and just stroked her hair to comfort her, knowing she wasn’t
finished. 
“You don't know how it relieves me to tell someone. Only my brother and Colonel
Fitzwilliam know. And I don't want to talk to them about it. It's too awkward and
humiliating. I know they must be terribly angry with me. I am angry with me. I
caused them so much trouble, and all because of my own blindness and silly
romantic notions."
"You mustn't think like this Georgiana. I am sure that neither your
brother nor Colonel Fitzwilliam is angry with you. Their anger is directed
where it should be, at Mr. Wickham. Yes, you were deceived. But in the end you
did the right thing when your brother came. You did not lie to him or try to
conceal your plans. Instead you saw your error and you chose to take the right
path and confess all to him. That was very brave, Georgiana. You must believe
that. You could have snuck off in the night with Mr. Wickham and never looked
back. But you did not."
"It would have broken Fitzwilliam's heart."