The Hour of Dust and Ashes (27 page)

“She wanted my ring. There are only a handful of people who could have known what it meant. The writing on it is the sirens’ ancient language, not even used today … The stone is where the value lies. I assumed that’s why she wanted it.”

“How could you be so blasé about it? Why? Why did you do that? Why did you even keep the thing if it could identify you?”

“I gave it to her because Aaron was dying,” he said simply. He stopped, dragging a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, and then stared at me with conviction in those glittering sapphire eyes. “We were there on that porch with time running out. She was the only person who could’ve saved him and she wanted my ring in return. I made the only choice I could.”

My mouth opened and closed. I wanted to rail at him, to fault him, but I couldn’t. How could I? He’d saved Aaron’s life. It was noble and right, and goddamn the sirens in Elysia for thinking him anything
but
honorable. Goddamn his king, the Circe, and his family for turning their backs on him. Damn them all.

I marched away, so angry that tears blurred my vision. He caught up with me and grabbed my arm. As soon as he saw the sheen in my eyes, he stiffened.
A curtain of iron fell over his features. “Don’t you dare pity me, Charlie. I can handle most anything but that.”

“How do you expect me to feel?” I jerked from his hold. “I can’t help but feel sorry for that little boy who was robbed of a life. How can I not? As a human being, as a mother … I can’t stand even hearing about a child being abused or abandoned, betrayed by those who are supposed to love him! How can I not feel for the child you were?”

His icy façade cracked. Anger flared around us. His fingers parked on his hips—a sign he was about to argue—but I shouted over him as he spoke. “I don’t pity the person you are now! I’m proud to even say I know you, and I sure as hell don’t want you going back now! So don’t you yell at me!”

My chest was heaving. Power coiled in my gut. I realized I was the one yelling, not him, so my words didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but … Tears slipped hot down my cheeks. Frustration built inside until I could do nothing else but make fists, growl, and march away.

He’d stepped up. He’d defied authority and he fought to rebuild his life and reinvent himself. He’d come to my world. Alone. In a foreign place. Without anyone. Damn right, I was proud of him. And he could go to hell if he thought that was pity.

I got five steps before he grabbed my arm and turned me around. Bleak thunderstorms gathered in his expression. His Adam’s apple bobbed. His head
shook slightly as though he didn’t know quite what to do. His lips thinned in sudden determination as he reached out, hauled me close, and hugged me.

Surprise made me stiff as a board. His pulse beat hard through his neck. I felt it pumping against the side of my chin. We were sticky and sweaty and gritty, but it didn’t matter. My hands slid around to the hard planes of his back. I relaxed. It felt … good. Safe. Comforting.

“You really piss me off,” I muttered against his shirt.

He kissed the top of my head, tucked my dirty, sandy hair behind my ear, and then graced me with a crooked smile that dimpled his scruffy cheek. “A clear indication you like me, Madigan.”

I rolled my eyes, not bothering to lift my head, but I couldn’t stop the ridiculous laughter. “Oh my God,” I breathed. “We are so screwed.” In so many ways. “What will they do if they catch you?”

“They’d probably put me back in the grid and make sure I can’t get out. That would be worse than death and the Circe know it.”

And his life would basically be over. Time would pass, people would come and go, and Hank would be stuck again. But he could break free from it. He’d done so before.

“No, Charlie,” he said, perceiving my thoughts. “It took me a long time to break free. You. Emma. Everyone I know would be gone by the time I’d manage it again—if I even could. And by then …” He
shrugged. “What would be the point? Everyone I care about would be gone. I might as well stay there.” His jaw flexed and I could see he was uncomfortable talking about the mortality of those he cared for. “We should get going.”

He took the lead this time.

I stayed quiet, mulling over his words and everything he’d gone through. He never had a life until he came to Atlanta. All those times his humor was off or he seemed a little schizo, or he steered me away from his past however he could … Now it all made sense. He’d been in my world for many years now, but he was still learning how to interact in human terms, learning all the subtle sarcasms and ironies and meanings of my culture. In projecting certain attitudes and behaviors, learning how to joke and make me laugh. I’m sure he’d taken his time learning about women as well, and according to Zara, he must’ve learned pretty damn quick in
that
department.

But I was glad Hank wasn’t the usual siren with a couple hundred years’ worth of notches on his bedpost. I was glad he wasn’t a jaded, narcissistic ass like a lot of male sirens I’d come into contact with. And despite all he’d been through, he brimmed with iron will, strength, confidence, determination … He’d certainly come into his own as a member of society, as a man—a damn good one, too.

Hank and I hiked for what had to be a few more hours at least. The stubborn grains of sand still lurking in my shoes had rubbed my heels raw. My aches and pains from the fall still lingered, but I was too tired to heal myself, too tired to care, and too emotionally exhausted to do anything except put one foot in front of the other.

Eventually, the ravine grew shallow. The direction turned north, so we climbed out to stay on an easterly track. The slant and the jagged rocks made it easy to grab footholds and handholds in the ravine walls. The sky remained clear of nithyn. Nevertheless, as soon as I made it out, I stayed down and turned to call for Brim, letting out a low whistle.

He circled below, whined, and then ran at the wall, his long claws digging in and propelling him up the rock.

“Good boy,” I whispered, patting his head.

I crept over the rocky outcroppings to where Hank lay on his stomach and dropped down beside him. The low gray sand dunes that greeted me caused a shudder to rush down my spine.

Across the sand, the dunes rose to another ridge that fanned out into a plateau littered with ruins. Moonlight shone over gigantic slabs of broken stone. A few intact columns jutted into the sky and practically glowed in the light. Others had fallen or were broken in half. A large Throne Tree grew on one corner of the ruins.

“Look,” Hank whispered, pointing up.

Three nithyn flew over the ruins, circling like vultures. One dove down and landed at a fresh nithyn carcass that looked like it had been torn apart. The handle of an axe jutted up from the dead animal. “Looks like Rex had his work cut out for him.”

“The nithyn are still circling. Rex and Bryn must have made it inside the ruins. We need to get you inside and through the portal.”

“Wait a minute.” I stared at his profile. “What do you mean,
me
?”

“Meaning if anything goes wrong, you go through that portal with or without me. If you’re not back in time to receive the sylph’s gift of fire, the other gifts will kill you. So what I’m saying is, don’t risk it.”

I hated this kind of talk. I started to say something to that effect and he stopped me. “I’m serious. You have a family, Charlie. That trumps everything else,
including saving or waiting for my ass. I want your word.”

My family meant everything to me; he was right about that. But the fact that he didn’t consider himself important as well truly annoyed me—that and the rocks poking my ribs. “I think you’re failing to recognize one very important thing.”

“Enlighten me, then.”

“You’re my family, too.”

I meant it, but I couldn’t help but smirk because the times were few and far between when I could make Hank Williams utterly and completely speechless.

His mouth actually fell open. His irises shifted from sapphire to topaz blue as though he had no idea how to feel. His lips snapped shut and he looked as though he was about to make a comeback, but then frowned when he realized he didn’t actually have one.

I reached out and patted him on the shoulder. “Didn’t think of that one, did you, siren?”

I belly-crawled closer to the edge of the rocks. After a moment he joined me, his face a bit redder than before.

“Hank?” I said, a thought occurring. “Rex said to concentrate on a specific place when you go through the portal. That’s how you arrive at your destination. I want you to think of a place those sirens can’t find you. Don’t come back with me.”

He was shaking his head before I even finished talking. “I ran the first time because I was vulnerable and
weak. I didn’t know how to defend myself. But that’s in the past, Charlie. I’m done running.”

“Oh, and then what? They take you and put you back in the grid? All because you’re too proud to run?”

His eyes rolled. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” I blinked, feeling confused. “I just mean it’s a bunch of them against two of us. By now they’ll know where you work, who your friends are, everything about your life. What’s so wrong with laying low for a little while?”

“Because they will
always
have someone watching my old life, that’s why. That means I can never come back. This time, I fight. For what’s mine. For the life I’ve made. I know what I promised Edan, but there are
Malakim
in those towers who don’t deserve to be there, and when they run out of steam, more children will fill their places. I kept that ring as a reminder. I’ve always known one day I’d go back and stop them. I’m not running away, Charlie. This time, I’m no child in a man’s body.”

I knew about making a stand. I’d done the same. I’d fought for my life. I’d fought to keep my daughter. I’d chosen to bring darkness to the city in order to save my kid. How could I lay there and convince him to not do what he thought was right?

“Fine,” I finally said. “Let’s just get back to the station. We’ll figure out something from there.”

He leaned slightly so he could reach out and flick the ends of my hair. He winked. “That’s better.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

He eyed the nithyn and the mile or so we had to run across the sand. “You ready?”

I let out a deep sigh “No. But when does that ever matter?”

“Before we go,” he said as I turned to him, “I think this is the part where we’re supposed to kiss before facing mortal danger.”

I blinked, flustered for a second by the change in direction. I was starting to suspect Hank took great pleasure in keeping me off-balance like this. “Says the guy who’s pretty much immortal,” I pointed out.

A boyish white smile broadened his face and crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Just admit it, Madigan. You like me. And saying so before we get ourselves seriously injured would be good.”

“Sure, what’s not to like?” I said flatly, rolling my eyes.

He frowned. “I
am
a siren. There is a difference between being into
me
and being into the siren.”

So which one was it? While I was the type of person who, no matter how gorgeous the guy, could be turned off by a shitty personality, a siren was a different story. Whether you wanted to or not you were lured in. So in that respect, Hank’s question had merit. And unlike most sirens I knew, he actually cared about the answer.

But more importantly, I saw the vulnerability in his words.

He wanted to be liked, not because he was a siren, but as a person, one who wasn’t as confident as he let on. One who never got a chance to grow his confidence naturally like the rest of us. One who’d been forsaken by his family, his race, and the girl who promised to wait for him.

Of course, he was completely confident in his virility, in his power and ability to attract and please. That was never in question. But under all that was a vulnerable soul who wanted someone to care about him—not because of
what
he was, but because of
who
he was.

“Charlie, when we get back … if they come for me, I don’t want you to fight.”

It was my turn to frown. “And you’ve known me how long?” I shook my head. I knew why he said the words, but they made me angry, too. “Forget it. If you think I’m going to let them take you back to Fiallan, think again.”

He leaned in, slid a hand behind my neck, pulled me toward him, and kissed me hard. Then he leaned back and searched my face. “Thank you. You don’t owe me. I didn’t have anything to lose when I fought for you and Em. No children, no family, no one waiting for me back home. You have everything to lose, and those who came through the gate won’t care.”

I swallowed hard. “I’ll do what I think is right. You don’t even know what we’ll face when we get back.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately I do.” He looked out over the sandy plain and sighed. “I’ll take the one on the column.” The biggest nithyn perched on the top of a broken column. The other two flew circles above. Waiting. Waiting. “Can you run and use your power at the same time?”