The Hook-up Doctor's Guide (2 page)

That being said don’t go overboard.
Girls who can step up to the plate and tell a guy she likes them
are cool, but don’t be too desperate. Like you said, don’t throw
yourself at him or ask him how many kids you guys should have or
anything. That’s going to make him run for the hills.

Hook-up Doctor

SEBASTIAN’S RULE: Honesty

Okay, here’s another
Sebastian’s Rule for you. When I first started this Hook-up Doc
gig, I was big on games. Finding ways to get what you want by
playing games. If I’m one thing, it’s honest and I have to say that
sometimes, yeah, games do work. They often
do
get you what you want or what you
think you want.

But…and I don’t admit this lightly,
but I’ve learned a thing or ten, too. Grown up a little bit, or
whatever. There are certain situations where games don’t work.
Actually, they have a way of getting you into a whole hell of a lot
of trouble. Believe me, I know.

Old Player’s situation definitely
sounds like something where you want to just put it out there—be
honest and admit you’re feelin’ the person. It’s not like it’s a
declaration of love (if that’s what Old Player is thinking, we need
to hit the brakes here and reevaluate.)

But if you like someone or want to get
to know them a little better—if you’re the type of person who
doesn’t mind going there and flirting with them, then keep on going
the whole way and just tell them you like ‘em. There isn’t much to
lose in this kind of situation. I’ve had the stakes higher and
yeah… it was crazy.

CASE NUMBER FOUR:

Dear Hook-up
Doctor,

I am so glad I stumbled across your
blog. You have no idea how much I need you. I hope you’re as good
as your blog says you are. OK so here's the deal. My best friend
has this SUPER hot older brother. He just came home for summer
break and lounges by the pool every day. Hot guy, hot abs and every
time I'm around him I dribble spit on myself like an idiot. Please,
please help me. I want to hook-up with him. Bad.

Thanks,

Drool by the Pool.

Drool by the Pool,

Hot abs? Are you spying on me? Just
kidding. The first thing you need to do is cut the drool. Spit?
Doesn’t do it for us. Sorry. The good thing is, you have something
going for you. Pool. Can you say bikinis? LOL. Seriously though,
this one is a little tough. Being the little sister’s friend puts
you in a strange situation. You have to find a way to make sure he
doesn’t see YOU as a little sister, too. You need to find a way to
separate yourself from the sister. I’m not saying ditch her,
because friends before hook-ups and all that, but make sure he sees
you as YOU. Sees you as more than just an extension of his sister.
Find a way to click with him on a level that’s yours and not
anything else to do with the sib.

Good luck,

Hook-up Doctor

CASE NUMBER FIVE:

Dear Hook-up Doctor,

Hi, um, my friend. (She told me not to
say her name.) Although I don't think you know her real name.
Anyway, she told me you helped her out. She landed this really cute
guy and I was hoping you'd be able to do the same for me. See the
problem is that he doesn't know I exist. I'm sure all the girls
that contact you say that, but I'm for real. I work with him, and
he's never once said hi to me, or even looked at me. I'm not ugly,
if that's what you're thinking. He's just a very focused guy. He
works really hard, and he's really...well you get the picture. Do
you think you can help?

Hope to hear from you soon--Invisible
But Not Ugly.

Invisible but not Ugly,

Sigh. First of all, cut the word ugly
out of your dictionary. Confidence is the key to everything.
Seriously, girls don’t realize how hot a confident woman is. Even
if it’s an act, play it well. Might help you start to gain more for
real, too. That being said, there’s a fine line between confident
and pushy. You want to straddle it well. Walk with your head high,
but don’t let him think, you think you’re too good. THAT is not
hot. This one time I met this chick at a party… you know what?
Never mind. Not going there. Anyway, on the confidence thing again…
TALK TO HIM. You say he doesn’t see you? Make him see you. Talk to
him, give him some attention, but not too much too fast. You don’t
want to look too eager. Talk to him one day, get his attention and
then the next, show him that confidence, but make sure it’s not
directed toward him. Seriously, once you giveth and then taketh
away, we totally want it again. I’m pretty sure it’s the laws of
nature or something.

Cat’cha later,

Hook-up Doctor

SEBASTIAN’S RULE: Confidence

Confidence is a huge one for me. I
hear people say I’m cocky… and maybe in some ways I am, but it’s
not in the way I think I’m better than everyone else. I’m confident
and I don’t see that as a bad thing.

Especially since I’m big on all of YOU
being confident too. Stand your ground. Know what you’re good at.
Show what you’re good at. Hold your head high. How is that a bad
thing?

If girls only take one thing from me,
I want it to be, “its okay to be confident.” Hell, it’s important
to be.

Or to try to be. Like I told Invisible
But Not Ugly, even if you can’t fully go there, try to fake it. You
never know when it might start bleeding into who you really
are.

Confidence is key. You got
this.

CASE NUMBER SIX:

Dear Doctor
Hook-up,

Okay, here's the deal. I'm
not the best looking person you'll ever meet. But I'm not exactly
ugly. Just plain. There's nothing wrong with that right? Well I
need a man. And my problem is, I don't have a particular one in
mind. I just need a date for Prom. I CANNOT go by myself and I am
NOT going with my brother's Trek-dork friend. This stays between
us, or I break your face. I will have you know I can do that too.
You don't want to test me on that one. Get back to me ASAP if you
can help, cuz prom is in a week.

I'm not making up a name
for myself btw, Just Reply.

Just Reply,

Dude, I seriously don’t even know where to
start here. Okay, that’s a lie because I know my shit, but bear
with me, because it’s a list. First, what’s it with girls and the
word ugly today? You know what? Even if I thought that about
myself, I wouldn’t let onto it. It’s all about the impression you
give.

Second, chill with the attitude, kay? You
want a guy to run for the hills? That’s the first way to make it
happen. Be strong… that’s all good, but when you find a guy, don’t
threaten to break his face like you did with me. It’s kind of a
buzz kill.

And third and this is the most important, no
need here. I’ve seen this a million times. You don’t NEED a guy.
You might WANT one, which is all good, but you don’t need one.
That’s setting yourself up for heartbreak. It might sound like I’m
being all sappy here, but I’m not. I’ve seen it and it sucks—that’s
enough about that. It’s private biz.

My advice for you is be picky. Have someone
in mind. Don’t settle for anyone. It screams needy and that’s not a
good thing. This may make me sound like an ass, but it’s almost an
art form… finding someone you’re into. You need to know what you
want. You can’t get it till you know what it is. Like I’ve told my
boy a million times, you’re not picking between McDonalds and Taco
Bell here. This is serious shit.

Later,

Hook-up Doctor

SEBASTIAN’S RULE: Confidence

Confidence. Flip backward a few pages and
read it again.

SEBASTIAN’S RULE: Want Vs. Need

This rule is tied with confidence for me.
Again, trying to go there without giving away spoilers, but I’ve
seen what happens when girls think they NEED a guy.

You don’t.

Let me repeat that again.

You don’t.

I’m a guy and cool with that. I don’t want to
be needed. And you don’t want to need. That’s when you get yourself
in too much trouble and get hurt.

I don’t like to see girls get hurt. It’s no
bueno.

Like someone. Want them. Crush on them. Date
them. Kiss them. Whatever. Just remember you don’t need them.

SEBASTIAN OUT!

Short, sweet and to the point. Nyrae gave me
a word count limit and I hit it. Hope this helped. Or gave you a
laugh (I’ve been told I’m funny as hell), or that you got SOMETHING
out of it.

Time for the Hook-up Doctor to hang up his
stethoscope. Except I’m not really that kind of doctor, but you get
the message.

If you want more from the Hook-up Doctor… or
even just want to see what went down when I went a little crazy
check out my book, WHAT A BOY WANTS.

I’m off to have dinner with my girl.

Ca’tcha on the flip side.

Sebastian Hawkins

AKA

The Hook-up Doc

For more of Sebastian’s antics and to see how
well his advice went when he fell in love himself, check out WHAT A
BOY WANTS by Nyrae Dawn. Available now for Nook and Kindle.

Books by Nyrae Dawn:

WHAT A BOY WANTS

WHAT A BOY NEEDS

FREEING CARTER

MEASURING UP

KARMA BITES

Follow Sebastian on Twitter:

@BastianAndJaden

Visit Nyrae online:

http://www.nyraedawn.blogspot.com

Acknowledgement:

Thanks so much to Allie B. and Jenny
for helping give Sebastian fun questions to answer.