The Homeward Bounders (4 page)

Well, it kept me sane. And it gave her an interest in life. It was pretty boring, life on the cattle-range. The only excitement they had was if a bull got nasty, or another tribe of herders went by on the horizon. All the same, I had to keep telling myself very firmly, “This is not so bad. It could be worse. It's not a bad life.” That kept me sane too.

After six weeks or so, I had the hang of the language. I could sit on a horse without finding myself sitting on the ground the next second, and I could help round up cows. I was learning how to make leather rope and tan leather and weave hurdles, and a dozen other useful things. But I never learned how to milk a cow. That was sacred. Only women were allowed to do that. And at this stage, they took down their tents and moved on to find better grass. They never reckoned to stay in one place much over a month.

I was riding along with them, helping keep the cattle together, when, about midday, I had the most peculiar sensation. It was like being pulled, strongly and remorselessly, sideways from the way we were going. With it, came a worse feeling—from inside me. It was a terrible yearning and a longing. My throat hurt with it. And it was like an itch too. I wanted to get inside my head and scratch. Both feelings were so strong that I had to turn my horse the way they pulled me, and as soon as I had, I felt better—as if I was now doing the right thing. And, no sooner was I trotting away in that direction, than I was full of excitement. I was going Home. I was sure of it. This was how you were moved along the Bounds. I had been right to think I was only going to be a short time in this world.

(That was about the only thing I was right about, as it happened. You nearly always get a feeling, when you first come into a world, how long you're going to have to stay there. I've only ever known myself wrong once. And that time was twice as long as I thought. I think one of
Them
must have changed his mind about his move.)

On this first occasion, Mrs. Chief sent two hairy riders after me and they rounded me up just like a cow.

“What do you think you're doing, going off on your own like that?” she screamed at me. “Suppose you meet an enemy!”

“First I heard you
had
any enemies,” I said sulkily. The pulling and the yearning were terrible.

She made me ride in the middle of the girls after that, and wouldn't listen to anything I said. I've learned to hold my tongue when the Bounds call now. It saves trouble. Then, I had to wait till night came, and it was agony. I felt pulled out of shape by the pull and sick with the longing—really sick: I couldn't eat supper. Waste of a good beef steak. Worse still, I was all along haunted by the idea I was going to be too late. I was going to miss my chance of getting Home. I had to get to some particular place in order to move to other worlds, and I wasn't going to get there in time.

It was quite dark when at last I got the chance to slip away. It was a bit cloudy and there was no moon—some worlds don't have moons: others have anything up to three—but that didn't matter to me. The Bounds called so strongly that I knew exactly which way to head. I went that way at a run. I ran all through the warm moisty night. I was drowned in sweat and panting like someone sawing wood. In the end, I was falling down every few yards, getting up again, and staggering on. I was so scared I'd be too late. By the time the sun rose, I think I was simply going from one foot to the other, almost on the spot. Stupid. I've learned better since. But this was the first time, and, when there was light, I shouted out with joy. There was a green flat space among the green hills ahead, and someone had marked the space with a circle of wooden posts.

At that, I managed to trot and lumbered into the circle. Somewhere near the middle of it, the twitch took me sideways again.

You've probably guessed what happened. You can imagine how I felt anyway. It was dawn still, a lurid streaky dawn. The green ranges had gone, but there was no city—nothing like one. The bare lumpy landscape round me was heaped with what looked like piles of cinders, and each pile had its own dreary little hut standing beside it. I had no idea what they were—they were mines, actually. You weren't a person in that new world if you didn't have your own hole and keep digging coal or copper out of it. But I didn't care what was going on. I was feeling the air, as I did before, and realizing that this was yet another different world. And at the same time, I realized that I was due to stay here for rather a long time.

It was on this world that I began to understand that
They
hadn't told me even half the rules.
They
had just told me the ones that interested
Them
. On this world I was starved and hit, and buried under a collapsed slag-heap. I'm not going to describe it. I hate it too much. I was there twice too, because what happened was that I got caught in a little ring of worlds and went all round the ring two times. At the time, I thought they were all the worlds there were—except for Home, which I never seemed to get to—and I thought of them as worlds, which they are not, not really.

They are separate universes, stacked in together like I saw the triangular rooms of
Them
before
They
sent me off. These universes all touch somewhere—and where they touch is the Boundary—but they don't mix. Homeward Bounders seem to be the only people who can go from one universe to another. And we go by walking the Bounds until we come to a Boundary, when, if one of
Them
has finished his move, we get twitched into the Boundary in another Earth, in another universe. I only understood this properly when I got to the sixth world round, where the stars are all different.

I looked at those stars. “Jamie boy,” I said. “This is crazy.” Possibly I was a little crazy then, too, because Jamie answered me, and said, “They're probably the stars in the Southern hemisphere—Australia and all that.” And I answered him. “It's still crazy,” I said. “This world's upside down then.”

It was upside down, in more ways than that. The
Them
that played it must have been right peculiar. But it was that which made me feel how separate and—well—
universal
each world was. And how thoroughly I was a discard, a reject, wandering through them all and being made to move on all the time. For a while after that, I went round seeing all worlds as nothing more than colored lights on a wheel reflected on a wall.
They
are turning the wheel and lighting the lights, and all we get is the reflections, no more real than that. I still see it that way sometimes. But when you get into a new world, it's as solid as grass and granite can make it, and the sky shuts you in just as if there was no way through. Then you nerve yourself up. Here comes the grind of finding out its ways and learning its language.

You wouldn't believe how lonely you get.

But I was going to tell you about the rules that
They
didn't tell me. I mentioned some of the trouble I had in the mining world. I had more in other worlds. And none of these things killed me. Some of them ought to have done, specially that slag-heap—I was under it for days. And that is the rule: call it Rule One. A random factor like me, walking the Bounds, has to go on. Nothing is allowed to stop him. He can starve, fall off a mile-high temple, get buried, and still he goes on. The only way he can stop is to come Home.

People can't interfere with a Homeward Bounder either. That may be part of Rule One, but I prefer to call it Rule Two. If you don't believe people can't interfere with me, find me and try it. You'll soon see: I'll tell you—on my fifth world, I had a little money for once. A whole gold piece, to be precise. I got an honest job in a tannery—and carried the smell right through to the next world with me too. On my day off, I was strolling in the market looking for my favorite cakes. They were a little like Christmas puddings with icing on—gorgeous! Next thing I knew, a boy about my own age had come up beside me, given me a chop-and, chop-and—it darned well hurt too—and run off with my gold piece. Naturally, I yelled and started to run after him. But he was under a wagon the next moment, dead as our neighbor's little girl back Home. His hand with the gold piece in it was sticking out, just as if he was handing it back to me, but I hadn't the heart to take it. I couldn't. It felt like my fault, that wagon.

After a while, I told myself I was imagining that rule. That boy's corpse could have had a bad effect on play, just as
They
said mine would have done. But I think that was one of the things
They
meant by the risk adding to the fun. I didn't imagine that rule. The same sort of thing happened to me several times later on. The only one I didn't feel bad about was a rotten Judge who was going to put me in prison for not being able to bribe him. The roof of the courthouse fell in on him.

Rule Three isn't too good either. Time doesn't act the same in any world. It sort of jerks about as you go from one to another. But time hardly acts at all on a Homeward Bounder. I began to see that rule on my second time round the circle of worlds. The second time I got to the upside down one, for instance, nearly ten years had gone by, but only eight or so when I got to the next one. I still don't know how much of my own time I spent going round that lot, but I swear I was only a few days older. It seemed to me I had to be keeping the time of my own Home. But, as I told you, I still only seem about thirteen years old, and I've been on a hundred worlds since then.

By the time I had all this worked out, I was well on my second round of the circle. I had learned I wasn't going to get Home anything like as easily as I had thought. Sometimes I wondered if I was ever going to get there. I went round with an ache like a cold foot inside me over it. Nothing would warm that ache. I tried to warm it by remembering Home, and our courtyard and my family, in the tiniest detail. I remembered things I had not really noticed when they happened—silly things, like how particular our mother was over our boots. Boots cost a lot. Some of the kids in the court went without in summer, and couldn't play football properly, but we never went without. If my mother had to cut up her old skirt to make Elsie a dress in order to afford them, we never went without boots. And I used to take that for granted. I've gone barefoot enough since, I can tell you.

And I remembered even the face Elsie used to make—she sort of pushed her nose down her face so that she looked like a camel—when Rob's old boots were mended for her to wear. She never grumbled. She just made that face. I remember my father made a bit the same face when my mother wanted me to stay on at school. I swore to myself that I'd help him out in the shop when I did get Home. Or go grinding on at school, if that was what they decided. I'd do anything. Besides, after grinding away learning languages the way I'd done, school might almost seem lively.

I think remembering that way made the cold foot ache inside me worse, but I couldn't stop. It made me hate
Them
worse too, but I didn't mind that.

All this while, I'd never met a single other Homeward Bounder. I thought that was a rule too, that we weren't supposed to. I reckoned that we were probably set off at regular intervals, so that we never overtook one another. I knew there were others, of course. After a bit, I learned to pick up traces of them. We left signs for one another—like tramps and robbers do in some worlds—mostly at Boundaries.

It took me a long while to work the signs out, on my own. For one thing, the Boundaries varied so much, that I didn't even notice the signs until I'd learned to look for them. The ring of posts in the cattle-range world matched with a clump of trees in the fourth world, and with a dirty great temple in the seventh. In the mining world, there was nothing to mark the Boundary at all. Typical, that. I used to think that
They
had marked the Boundaries with these things, and I got out of them quick at first, until I noticed the sign carved on one of the trees. Somehow that made me feel that the people on the worlds must have marked the Boundaries. There was the same sign carved in the temple too. This sign meant GOOD PICKINGS. I earned good money in both worlds.

Then, by the time I was going round the whole collection another time, I was beginning to get the hang of the Bounds too, as well as the signs and the Boundaries. Bounds led into the Boundary from three different directions, so you could come up by another route and still go through the Boundary, but from another side. I saw more signs that way. But a funny thing was that the ordinary people in the worlds seemed to know the Bounds were there, as well as the Boundaries. They never walked the Bounds of course—they never felt the call—but they must have felt
something
. In some worlds there were towns and villages all along a Bound. In the seventh world, they thought the Bounds were sacred. I came out of the Boundary temple to see a whole line of temples stretching away into the distance, just like my cousin Marie's wedding cake, one tall white wedding cake to every hilltop.

Anyway, I was going to say there were other signs on the other two sides of the Boundaries when I came to look. I picked up a good many that way. Then came one I'd never seen before. I've seen it quite a lot since. It means RANDOM and I'm usually glad to see it. That was how I got out of that wretched ring of worlds and met a few other Homeward Bounders at last.

I had got back to the cattle world by then. As soon as I arrived, I knew I was not going to be there long, and I would have been pleased, only by then I knew that the mining world came next.

“Oh please!” I prayed out loud, but not to
Them
. “Please not that blistering-oath mining world again! Anywhere else, but not that!”