The Hitwoman and the Chubby Cherub (14 page)

“Earth to Maggie,” God interrupted.

“What?” I asked, realizing I’d tuned him out.

“I asked if you really find Angel attractive, or if you were just saying that to appease Armani?”

“He’s attractive,” I replied slowly.

“And, unlike someone else we all know, he’s available,” God reminded me.

“And dependable,” Piss added while licking her paw.

Only the dog remained silent, maintaining her allegiance to Patrick. I wasn’t sure if that was loyalty or the fact that she couldn’t understand what was being discussed.

“I’m not interested in him like that,” I told the animals. “He’s Katie’s manny. Nothing else.”

“Oh come on, sugar,” Piss purred as she groomed herself. “He’s not even my type and I think he’s an attractive fella.”

“I’m not interested in him that way.” My voice cracked a little at the end, revealing my lie.

“What are you going to do?” God asked. “Spend your whole life waiting for the redhead to decide you’re a priority in his life?”

I winced as the barb hit me square in the heart.

Noticing my pain, Piss flexed her claws in God’s direction, effectively making the lizard shut up.

“All we’re trying to say,” she mewled softly, “is that we think you deserve better and Angel is better.”

“I appreciate that, but I have bigger things to worry about right now.”

God sniffed incredulously. “Like what?”

Ignoring his disdain, I said, “I need to break in to Kevin Belgard’s house.”

“Do let’s it!” DeeDee barked excitedly.

Piss looked up from her grooming long enough to ask, “Why?”

God remained uncharacteristically silent.

“I need to see if there’s anything in the hidden compartment of the house. Patrick seemed to think it’s important.”

“By all means,” God mocked, unable to restrain himself any longer, “be at the beck and call of Mister ‘If you know what’s good for you’.”

“What’s that mean?” Piss asked, giving me her full attention. “What’s up, sugar?”

I frowned, totally understanding how curiosity could be the downfall of her species.

I took a deep breath, not wanting to get into a discussion about the mysterious blonde and Patrick’s strange reaction. “The point is there could be something hidden in that house. Something important. Something that could lead me to Darlene.” Remembering Loretta’s lecture, I added, “Will you guys help me find it?”

“Sure for,” DeeDee barked.

“You bet your sweet britches, sugar,” Piss purred.

“Be careful what you wish for,” God intoned ominously.

As usual, he was right.

Chapter Seventeen

“All set for tomorrow?” Megan trilled as I watched Katie lurch into her classroom, barely keeping herself and her backpack vertical.

It was a little creepy that the other woman always seemed to be around. It was a lot annoying that she was checking up on me.

“All set,” I agreed, flashing her my best ‘back off bitch’ smile.

“Because if you’ve run into any problems, I suppose I could help you out,” Megan conceded in her best martyred tone.

“Nope. I’ve got it under control,” I said so sweetly it made my teeth ache. “I already enlisted someone’s help, but thanks for the offer.”

“Who?” she asked suspiciously. “If they’re not on the approved list…”

“They are. I checked,” I lied smoothly. “Don’t worry. This is going to be the best party the kids have ever had.”

Megan looked worried.

“See you tomorrow.” I managed to insert even more saccharine-goodness into my tone. I gave her two thumbs-up and marched away like I actually knew what the hell I was doing.

I’m pretty sure I saw her flip me the bird out of the corner of my eye.

“You sweat when you lie,” God complained while nestled in the hammock of my bra.

“I wasn’t lying, I was embellishing. Besides, Cam promised it’s going to be epic.”

“And you believe her?” he scoffed.

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Maybe because you just met her? Maybe because she seemed to have an unhealthy desire for revenge?”

“It’ll be fine,” I said, more to assure myself than him.

“Or it’ll be a disaster of
epic
proportions,” he countered.

Still, I couldn’t worry about that. I had to go find my father. Even though I was pissed at him for a multitude of reasons, I figured he should know he was a suspect in Belgard’s death.

I went to the place he said he’d be. I went to ‘the trees’, but he wasn’t there. Since he hadn’t specified
when
he’d be there, I settled in for a long wait, putting the lizard on the dashboard so that he could soak up some rays.

“Five,” I murmured staring at the trees.

My parents had always claimed they’d been planted in honor of their children, but I’d only had three sisters.

“This again.” God made no effort to disguise his exasperation.

“Who’s the fifth one for?” I asked.

An hour later my father appeared, strolling up to my car as though he didn’t have a care in the world.

“I knew you’d show up,” he said as I rolled down my window.

“You’re welcome,” I countered dryly. “Get in.”

He climbed into the passenger seat and stared at the anole as though he’d never seen a lizard sitting on the dash of someone’s car before.

“How was my dinner?” I asked.

“Delicious. Susan may be a bitch, but she’s a hell of a cook.”

“Don’t call her that.”

He frowned at me. “Since when does it bother you what I call her?”

“Since I’ve come to the realization that she’s the reason your children ever had any sense of stability.” I met his gaze steadily, letting him know I meant what I was saying.

He looked away. “Stability is overrated. It’s a synonym for boring.”

I knew from the way God was flicking his tail that he didn’t like what my father was saying. I felt the same way, but did my best to keep my voice neutral.

“I’m here because I thought you should know the cops think you killed Kevin Belgard.”

“Arrow through the heart, wasn’t it? Couldn’t have happened to a nicer fella.”

I swallowed down the ball of anger rising in my throat. “The point is they think you killed a cop. That’s dangerous.”

“You asking me if I did it, Maggie May?”

“Nope,” I replied calmly. “I know you didn’t.”

He nodded, approving of what he thought was my faith in him.

I didn’t disabuse him of the notion. I took advantage of it. “Who’s the fifth tree for?”

I could tell my question startled him from the way he pressed himself deeper into his seat.

“W-what?” he spluttered nervously.

“Five trees,” I pointed at the row in front of us. “But as far as I know, you only have four kids.”

“The other is to represent the love of your mother and me.”

I might have believed him if he hadn’t added, “You know how we mean the world to each other.”

“But that’s not what you and Mom always said,” I countered quietly. “You said there was one for each of us girls.”

“And us, representing our holy union.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “No wonder you’re such a lousy conman. You’re one of the worst liars I know.”

“Remember who you’re speaking to young lady,” he said as though the man who’d always put his own wants and whims ahead of those of his family somehow deserved my respect just because he’d impregnated my mother.

If that was supposed to cow me, it failed. What it did do was pour gasoline on the resentment churning in my gut.

I now believe that spontaneous human combustion could be a real thing since I’m pretty sure flames shot from my mouth as I bellowed, “Who is the fifth tree for?”

Even God was startled by my outburst. Startled, he scurried away to the opposite end of the dashboard.

“I--” Dad began.

“Don’t!” I screamed, my voice bouncing off the car’s surfaces, echoing back at me. “Don’t you dare lie to me.”

My throat burned from the effort.

Dad stared at me with something that looked a lot like fear.

“Just tell me,” I urged, dropping my voice to just above a whisper as I pinned him to his seat with a glare. “I won’t be mad.”

“Ha!” God guffawed from his hiding place.

Dad shook his head.

“I deserve to know, Dad.”

His gaze ping-ponged between my face, to the trees, and back to my face again. It probably took him fifteen seconds to make his decision, but to me it felt like days as I held my breath, listening to my pulse pound in my ears.

“I’ve done a lot of things I regret,” he finally began. “But giving up that baby…”

I gasped, as he confirmed what I hadn’t wanted to believe.

He hesitated.

“Go on,” I choked out.

“I regret giving up my only son,” he continued.

I winced as he gave voice to my suspicion that he would have preferred a house full of boys. 

He didn’t even notice he’d hurt me. “Worst mistake of my life. Well, except for--”

“Hands in the air!” a voice boomed authoritatively.

Startled, I did as instructed.

Dad, however, was slow to comply.

“The car is surrounded, put your hands in the air,” the voice ordered.

Looking around, I saw that a dozen uniformed police officers, guns drawn, had converged on my car.

“Put your hands up,” I said through gritted teeth. “Or are you trying to get us both killed?”

Finally he did as the voice ordered.

“Now put them on the dashboard, Archie,” the voice instructed.

Dad did as told.

I started to reach to do the same, but then put them back where I’d held them, feeling like I was playing a deadly game of Simon Says.

My door opened and I slid my gaze over in that direction.

“Step out, Maggie,” a familiar voice said calmly.

I looked into Detective Brian Griswald’s
face. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he reassured me. “Just get out of the car.”

“You turned me in?” My father’s hands left the dashboard as he twisted in his seat and grabbed my arm just above my wrist. “You turned me in?” His fingers bit cruelly into my flesh as he shook my arm.