The Highlander (18 page)

"Goodness, I did not recognize it, but then, I have not been to Danegaeld for over a year now. You will have this room," Arabella said as she opened the door. "My room is across the hall. It will be such fun having you here. Having six brothers and no sister about can make it quite lonely sometimes." She took Sophie's hands in hers. "I am truly glad you are here, and I hope Jamie decides to make you our prisoner so you will be forced to remain here."

Sophie looked at Arabella's dark curls that framed the loveliest, sweetest face and wondered if she had any idea how close she had come to the truth.

"Dinner is usually served around eight o'clock," she said, and when she turned toward the lamp she placed on the table, Sophie saw she had Jamie's mossy-green eyes. A second later, she was struck by the strong family resemblance between them, for it was obvious they were brother and sister.

Sophie gave her a tired smile, and said, "If you don't mind, I think I would prefer sleep to food."

"I know you must be tired. It is a hard ride from Danegaeld, and my brothers always seem to forget that I am a girl when we make the trip. Do not get into bed until I send someone with a warming pan. The sheets can be frightfully cold in weather like this."

' 'You have been so very kind to me. I do not know how to thank you."

"You can thank me by remaining here." She laughed. "You see, I am worried already that you might one day leave."

"Not anytime soon, I fear, for my memory seems in no hurry to return." Sophie sat down. "I will wait here for the gown and the warm sheets...which sound wonderful, by the way. I've seen nothing but cold weather since I arrived here."

"Jamie said you almost froze to death before Tavish found you."

"I don't remember much about it save being cold and wet."

"You have no memory of who you are? At least that is what Jamie said."

"No, I have no memory of that as yet."

Sophie was wondering what else Jamie said. Surely, he did not mention their lovemaking.

"Dinna worry about it. You can make new memories here at Monleigh Castle."

"I hope I won't be here long enough to do that. I pray my memory will return soon and I can go home, or continue on my journey—wherever that was."

"You have no knowledge of where you were going before the ship wrecked?"

"No."

"The ship was bound for Norway. Did you know that?"

"Yes, Tavish told me."

Arabella's eyes lit up. "You better be glad it was Tavish who found you and not Calum. Calum is the moody one. He distrusts everyone and everything. Tavish is the charmer in the family. He loves to talk, especially to beautiful women. How did you like him?"

"I found him charming and considerate, with a mellow way."

A look of concern settled over her face. "Did Jamie treat you badly?"

"I don't think patience with women is what he is known for. I am sure he is a good chief."

Arabella smiled warmly. "Aye, it is good he has five brothers instead of five sisters."

They both laughed, and Arabella went on. "I have always wanted a sister. I do hope you will be with us for a long time. I will go in search for someone to warm your bed now."

"Thank you again."

"I took the liberty of having Fenella place a few things in your wardrobe so you will have something to wear until we can arrange for a dressmaker. There is a gown on the bed."

"Your kindness is overwhelming. I do hope we will be friends."

"We already are," Arabella said, and took her leave.

Sophie called after her. "If Jamie should inquire, please tell him I have already retired."

"Aye, I will tell him, although it will no' make any difference to him. If he wants to speak with you, there is nothing to stop him from coming here."

Although Sophie was accustomed to Jamie's casual attitude toward entering her bedroom at Danegaeld, she did not want to give that impression.

"He is an earl and such behavior would be unacceptable for him."

Arabella burst into a full-bodied laugh. "We are members of the peerage by birth, but we stuff all of the pomp that accompanies it in the nearest trunk, and only take it out for an occasional airing when there are other, more snobbish, gentry about. To the Grahams, Jamie is the chief of the clan and the laird of the castle, and that is far more important to them than his being the Earl of Monleigh."

"Very well. I will lock the door then."

Arabella smiled. "Aye, ye could do that of course, but it willna make any difference. Jamie would never let a little thing like a door keep him from going where he pleases."

Sophie dressed for bed, and once the friendly maid named Jean finished warming her bed, she
immediately climbed into it. As she settled herself and closed her eyes, she wondered if she would be awakened later, as she often had been at Danegaeld, by Jamie's lovemaking.

_Twelve

I shall have mistresses. —George II (1683-1760), German-born British monarch. Memoirs of the Reign of George the Second (John Hervey; 1848)

In
his study, Jamie paused over the reading of a few letters and thought about Sophie, and his decision to keep a respectful distance between the two of them. It was not something he wanted to do, but something he deemed necessary, for he hoped it would give her time to adjust to her new surroundings.

In spite of his intent, it was not easy for him to avoid her, and he quickly learned his iron will was not as strong or unyielding as he thought. It was the Scot's way to set a stout heart to a steep hillside, but staying away from Sophie was proving to be more like climbing a craggy mountain: it was a constant battle.

Arabella was unaware that she was making the situation easier for him, for she and Sophie were together constantly. This made it difficult for him to get Sophie alone whenever his desire to be with her overrode his better judgment.

Strange though it was, it was during this time of abstinence that he realized his need to be with her was not born of lustful desires, but by more innocent intentions and purer motives. Simply put, he missed her.

He did not know Sophie had become a habit, as necessary to him as breathing, until he realized he felt the empty blank within only when she was not with him.

Instead of being a comfort, this realization left him on edge, because it did not fit within the boundaries of his plans, where he would marry a woman he did not love, and have mistresses to fill the emptiness. Because of this, he chose not to share these feelings with her.

He knew that having Arabella to confide in was good for Sophie, and it would ease her introduction into the Graham clan. He had much to attend to since his return, and was glad Arabella could fill the hours for Sophie that would have been quite lonely otherwise.

As for him, he tried to stay away from Sophie, as a way to protect her from gossip. To fill the void, he wrapped himself in his obligations and the duties that belonged on his shoulders, and he performed them faithfully, with late hours and devoted efficiency.

In spite of his good intentions, and devotion to his work, he had a feeling that those close to him saw beyond his concentrated efforts, and caught a glimpse of the turmoil going on inside him. Had he really fooled anyone? Was there one person at Monleigh Castle who thought him indifferent to her? Or did they realize that whenever he saw her, he noticed the French lass far more than a disinterested man would?

Seeing her occasionally throughout the day was not the same as spending time with her, and it left him frustrated and on edge. He missed the lack of restrictions he enjoyed at the lodge that enabled him to be with her, to go to her room freely, and to make love to her and sleep in the same bed with her each night.

When they were apart, days were too long, family conversation was too boring, and sleep was interrupted too often with dreams of her. He roared and growled like a starving fiend when he did not see her, and feasted his eyes upon her like a glutton when he did.

The rest of the time, it was pure hell. Such as now, when he was supposed to be doing his accounts, yet his mind was on Sophie and not on the calculation of numbers. About the time he managed to force his attention back to the figures before him, he heard the distractible sound of feminine laughter.

He paused, puzzled that it came from somewhere outside.

After he pushed back bis chair and walked around the desk, he moved to the window where he could look out, and allowed his gaze to follow the direction of the sound.

Sophie and Arabella were bundled in their long capes, their hooded heads together as they took the fresh air in the garden. It was impossible to know what they talked about, but he had a good idea his name was mentioned frequently.

"What are you going to do with the French lass?"

Jamie turned and saw his brother walk into the room—Calum, the sensitive, rebellious and brooding brother with the countenance of a poet.

He had been expecting Calum to make an inquiry, and was surprised he had not done so before now.

Jamie remembered their boyhood, and the fear his parents harbored that the sickly and smallest of the Graham brothers would never live to reach maturity. Jamie had been the one to protect Calum, and consequently Calum was completely devoted to him, almost to the point of idolizing him—at least he was when they were younger.

Only now, it seemed he and Calum were always on opposite sides of every issue, especially if it was one that involved Gillian.

There were times when Jamie had difficulty understanding how it was that the two eldest brothers, bora only a year apart, could be so different.

He turned to face Calum and looked straight into his luminous blue eyes. "I don't intend to do anything with her. The lass has no memory of her past. What would you have me do? Turn her out in the cold?"

"She canna stay here, Jamie...not when you consider your betrothal to Gillian. It does not look right, no matter what your intentions are. What is everyone supposed to think, with you bringing a beautiful lassie home and keeping her here? People will talk. You know they will."

Jamie scoffed at that. "Let them talk. You should know by now that I am never swayed by public opinion."

"Think of Gillian," Calum said.

"Think what about Gillian?"

"The presence of another woman living under your roof will offend her."

"You would do better to let Gillian do her own thinking. If she has an issue with Sophie, she can come to me," Jamie said. "She doesna need to send you."

"And if Gillian decides to end things between you?"

Jamie shrugged. "Gillian will do what she deems necessary without any intervention from me...or you."

"You have known Gillian all your life, and yet you act as if you don't care for her at all," Calum said.

"You seem to care for her enough for both

of us."

"I am concerned for her."

"And I am not in love with her, if that is what you mean. Not that it should come as any surprise to anyone. You were always closer to her than any of the rest of us were. Perhaps you should be the one to marry her. The two of you are much better suited."

Jamie did not know what prompted him to say that and, once he had, he was surprised at Calum's reaction. Where Jamie expected him to angrily rebuke that statement, Calum said nothing. Not that he needed to deny it. The guilty look on his face said enough.

Jamie had never realized before now that Calum was in love with Gillian. Any other time he would have thrown back his head and laughed, then with a slap to his brother's back, he would have offered his congratulations with an announcement that he was going to end the betrothal between himself and Gillian in order to make way for his brother.

However, something held him back and he suppressed the urge. Perhaps it was Calum's sensitivity.

"I have always cared for Gillian, but I am the second brother, with no title to offer her. It is you she wants, and she will not tolerate the French lass being under your protection. It is an insult to her."

"It is only an insult if she tries to make it one. I daresay she would not consider it an insult if Sophie was a homely lass, or a portly matron."