The Hidden Queen (37 page)
They crossed the Arad without meeting another living being, and all too soon the mountains that were the desert’s barrier swelled from a distant shimmer into the great buttresses of naked rock she recalled, as if from a dream. And then the mountains shrank down to a point—Ar’i’id Sam’mara, the Desert Gate, the place where an exiled Roisinani princess had first set foot into a hidden, forbidden land. Anghara stood for a long time, looking back into the yellow desert—treasuring this parting glimpse as much as she treasured the memory of her first. And when she finally turned to follow al’Tamar into the maw of the Gate, she felt a ghostly self fall away from her, to stand guard at the gate and watch for her return. Much as she had once done on a ship’s deck, watching the shape of the land of her birth fold away under the horizon, now she made the same vow to the land she was leaving behind:
I will return.
And then, with tears stinging her eyes, she wished bitterly that somewhere in all the knowledge she had gained over the years she could find, in this moment, a single iota to tell her how to cope with her divided heart.
It was close to dusk when they reached Sa’alah. Anghara left al’Tamar in the serai where they had bespoken rooms, the same one from which she had once started out on this adventure, and went alone to the quays to bargain for a passage to Roisinan. It was full dark when she returned; al’Tamar had not been idle, she found supper waiting, and lais tea steaming in delicate porcelain cups.
To you, ai’Jihaar,
thought Anghara, sipping the hot tea with a smile.
“Sit down,” she said to al’Tamar, who showed every sign of hovering at her elbow as she ate, ready to wait upon her as he did with al’Jezraal. “We are not in Al’haria, and I am not your
Sa’id.
It is your supper, too.”
He did as he was told, breaking a handful of flat pan-bread to sop the juices in the bowl of stew. “Have you found your passage?”
“A ship leaves in two days; there is nothing before,” she said. “I took it…al’Tamar…”
“I know what you want,” he said, staring down into his lap. “And I will not, Anghara. I will not go back until you leave. You might not want to have someone wave goodbye to you from the shore, but I came with you to Sa’alah, and I will stay until you leave.” He glanced up, briefly, and Anghara could read his soul in his eyes, the soul he tried to keep so carefully hidden, the pain of what he knew could never be.
He loves me,
she thought, without surprise. “Even if I gave you a task to do for me?”
“I would do it,” he said, after a small hesitation. “But what could you need to have done with such urgency that you would send me away at once?”
“There are the dun’en to return to Kharg’in’dun’an,” she said, “but that you can do at any time on your way back. But there is something else. Have you forgotten the
say’yin
you promised me?”
“But you will…”
You will be gone by the time I am done. Gone. And will you ever come back?
“It will be a special
say’yin,
al’Tamar, and not only because it will be a friend’s gift and a friend’s hand will have made it,” Anghara said. “You already have the amber, and the promise of the silver. But there is something else I want you to put in it.”
He looked up, hooked despite himself. “What is it?”
Anghara ducked her head, drawing off a fine chain and withdrawing something she had kept hidden beneath her robe for all these years, something that had kept her faith burning through all the dark times, that her mother had given her with her own hand. Anghara’s own trembled a little as she held out Red Dynan’s Great Seal for which Sif had searched so fruitlessly, and met al’Tamar’s wide golden eyes with a calm gray gaze, full of a serenity she was far from feeling. “The Royal Seal of Roisinan,” she said quietly.
He reached out, and then his hand jerked back. “I cannot—I cannot take that…How will you go into your country without it? How will you prove what you are?”
“When I have need of it,” Anghara said, “I shall send for it…or return for it. For now…there are other ways; or I will simply have to be enough in myself.” In truth, Anghara had no arguments, for her gesture had been pure instinct, a decision made in that instant. She did not know how she knew the seal would be safer here with al’Tamar than with her, but she did—and she gave it into safekeeping, without a pause.
Reaching out again, this time more slowly, al’Tamar took the seal from her open palm as though he was handling something that would burn him, or else disintegrate in his hand. It did neither, and he sat holding it for a moment, frozen, as Anghara’s own hands fell into her lap; he did not see her fingers twist into her skirt there, against an almost uncontrollable urge to snatch it back. The seal lay in the palm of his hand, still warm from the heat of her body.
His hand closed over it abruptly but very gently, and he nodded stiffly.
“I will make your
say’yin
for you and hold it safe; none will know of this until you claim it.” He had gone cool, detached, his soul fire more a barrier than a reaching out; his mind had accepted the role of a companion, a friend, but his heart railed against the circumstances that made this girl a
fram’man,
an
an’sen’thar,
a queen—three times removed from him. Friendship, and the trust she had bestowed upon him, would have to be enough.
He rose to take his leave, and bowed to her, deeply; her eyes glittered suspiciously in the lamplight as she shook her head and embraced him once, as she would a brother.
“Goodbye, al’Tamar, the blessing of al’Zaan be upon you,” she said.
“And with you,” he said.
“I will come back,” she whispered, not even sure if he heard as he ducked under the curtain and stepped out of the room, carrying the Great Seal in one tightly clenched fist. “Or I will make you
an’sen’thar,
and you will come to Sheriha’drin—and if I ever regain Miranei you will sit at my right hand and I shall call you my brother, and my friend…”
Her brother. Her friend. But the love that burned in al’Tamar’s soul fire was of a different kind. They had shared deeply on the shores of the Kadun ocean, learned perhaps more of one another than was altogether prudent. Under ordinary circumstances, this would have been a binding experience, something that should have twinned their spirits, melded their lives. Instead…all al’Tamar had was a deeper understanding of the barriers which conspired to keep them apart. He understood, in his mind. It would take time, however, for his heart to accept that understanding.
He was gone from the serai in the morning, and so were the dun’en. Anghara, who had claimed her quarters on the ship upon which she would sail, stood at the prow and lifted her eyes up to the mountains, imagining him galloping across the flat yellow sands of the Arad, the two other dun’en thundering in his wake. And then he was climbing the High Road, taking back his ki’thar’en, descending down into the red desert to finally gain the spires of Al’haria, his entire journey telescoped into the space of a few minutes, into the image of Kheldrin she carried in her heart.
But al’Tamar was not on Kharg’in’dun’an, nor even yet in the Arad. He had been hiding from
sen’en’thari
for years, and had it down to a fine art. For all her gifts Anghara was utterly oblivious to the fact that one of the myriad pairs of golden eyes which watched her ship cast off from the dock were his. He stayed on the quay, alone, staring out to sea for a long time after her ship had vanished from sight and the rest of the quayside crowd had departed. Then he turned and retraced his steps to the new serai in which he had spent the previous night. As much as he had felt the need to stay in Sa’alah while she was still in the city, now he felt the pressing urge to leave—and he was on his way within an hour of returning from the quay.
They crept into each other’s dreams that night, the first on both their journeys—she returning home at last, he travelling toward his own. He dreamed of the
say’yin
he would make of sea amber from the foot of Gul Khaima, Kadun silver, and the Royal Seal of the land of Sheriha’drin. He dreamed of her to whom he would give it, the glow in her gray eyes as he reached out to place the
say’yin
around her neck—dreamed of what might be, or of what he wished could come to pass. Anghara,
an’sen’thar,
dreamed of what was. She saw him sitting outside his tent in the starlight, just before he retired inside to sleep, turning the seal over in his hands so the pale light cascaded from it like water. She wept in her sleep at the things she had given him, and those she had taken away. He would never again be the carefree young man who had set out from Al’haria to look for an oracle—and found the answers to questions he had never thought of asking, before he had first laid eyes on the stranger from the land called Sheriha’drin.
Some names and concepts originating from different parts of the world have been annotated for ease of placement, i.e., Kheldrin (K); Roisinan (R); Shaymir (S); Tath (T).
Adamo Taurin: twin to Charo Taurin (q.v.), Chella’s younger sons, later important to Anghara’s cause
-ah (K): feminine suffix added to words to indicate feminine gender; sometimes occurs within a word (as in havallah), implying an inherent grace, beauty, or feminine quality in the concept the word describes
ai’Dhya (K): Kheldrini Goddess, Lady of the Winds
ai’Farra ma’Sayyed: Keeper of Records in Al’haria, chief an’sen’thar of the Al’haria Tower
ai’Jihaar ma’Hariff: blind Kheldrini priestess (see an’sen’thar); Anghara’s friend and teacher
ai’Lan (K): the Sun Goddess; similar to Roisinan’s Avanna except that her worship is more bloodthirsty—can offer great power and protection in return for the right sacrifice
ai’Raisa: young gray-robed sen’thar who remains as the voice of the oracle of Gul Khaima (q.v.)
ai’Shahn, often known as ai’Shahn al’Sheriha (K): messenger of the Gods, Water Spirit; a holy entity
Akka! (K): ki’thar command: Go!
Algira (T): a beautiful canal city in Tath, once pride of Roisinan; a training center for the Sighted, similar to Castle Bresse, lies nearby
Al’haria: red city of Kheldrin, place where the Records are kept, city of scholars, priestesses and craftsmen
al’Jezraal ma’Hariff: Lord of Al’haria, brother of ai’Jihaar
al’Khur (K): Lord of Death and also of dreams that come in the Little Death that is sleep, half-man, half-desert vulture
al’Shehyr ma’Hariff: son of al’Jezraal
al’Tamar ma’Hariff: nephew of al’Jezraal, son of his brother; sen’thar-gifted, but untrained because he is heir to an important Hariff silver mine
al’Zaan, Sa’id-ma’sihai (K): al’Zaan the One-Eyed, Lord of the Empty Places, Kheldrin’s chief God, cannot be worshipped in any confined place, only in the open
Anghara Kir Hama (ma’Hariff): Princess of Roisinan and an’sen’thar of Kheldrin, heiress of Red Dynan whose crown was usurped by her half-brother Sif when their father died in the battle at Ronval River, powerfully Sighted, events turn around her
Ansen Taurin: Anghara’s oldest foster brother and cousin, son of her aunt, Chella
an’sen’thar (pl. an’sen’en’thari)(K): wearer of the gold robe in the sen’thar priestly caste of Kheldrin; high priestess, used both as noun and form of address
arad (K): south
Arad Khajir’i’id: the Southern Desert, sometimes also known as Mal’ghaim Khajir’i’id (q.v.)
ari’i’d (K): desert
Ar’i’id Sam’mara: Desert Gate, name given to the canyon which forms the passage between Kheldrin’s coastal plain and Arad Khajir’i’d
Avanna of the Towers (R): Lady of the Lights, Roisinan’s harvest goddess, patron of all that is bright, glowing and growing; she created the sun, the moon, and the stars, and blesses everything grown under them; Roisinani infants are presented to the Gods within her towers
Aymer: capital of Shaymir, semi-desert independent principality to the north of Roisinan, origin of the Aymer Harp (q.v.)
Aymer harp: a difficult Shaymiri musical instrument.
Beit el’Sihaya (K): the Empty Quarter, from beit (geographic quarter) + sihaya (empty)
Beku: city of Kheldrin
Bodmer Forest: large forest in the heart of Roisinan
Brandar Pass: mountain passage from Roisinan into Shaymir through the range behind Miranei
Bresse: see Castle Bresse
Brynna Kelen: Anghara Kir Hama’s alter ego, the name by which she was known at Cascin
burnoose (K): a head covering and desert veil against sand and heat
Calabra: main port city of Roisinan, at the mouth of the River Tanassa
Cascin (Cascin of the Wells): the ancestral manor of Anghara’s mother Rima, Anghara’s sanctuary in the first years of her exile, held by Lord Lyme, married to Rima’s sister, Chella
Castle Bresse (R): training school for the Sighted, where Anghara first learns a measure of control over her gifts, levelled by Sif in the first stroke of his anti-Sight campaign
Cerdiad (R): Midsummer Harvest Feast with connotations of ancient fertility rites when harvested fields and the harvest are blessed on midsummer’s eve by a priestess of Avanna of the Towers, patron goddess of the feast and the rest of the night given over to celebrations; romantic superstitions practiced by girls wanting to know who they will marry are commonly associated with this night
Charo Taurin: twin to Adamo Taurin, Chella’s younger sons, Anghara’s foster-brother
cheta (R): a military company in the Roisinani army
Colwen: Sif’s first queen, put aside because she could not give him an heir
dan (fem: dan’ah) (K): alone
Dances (R): circles of huge hewn stones with an ancient and often feared power; there are four in Roisinan: in the hills by the river Tanassa, in the middle of the central plain in Shaymir, on the edge of the Vallen Fen in Tath, and in the Mabin Islands (now largely ruined); the three mainland Dances are more or less intact, their original purpose or ancient builders unknown; there may once have been more, as there are solitary stones in other places, which exude something of the power of the Dances, known as Standing Stones (q.v.); both Dances and Standing Stones are avoided at night, and especially during the high festivals as they are believed to be the haunt of spirits
desert sage (S): a herb with a sharp, bittersweet scent which grows in the Shaymir desert
diamondskin (K): lethally poisonous lizard found in the Khari’i’d; no antidote to its poison, which is almost instantly fatal; gray with black diamond-shaped markings on the skin
djellaba (K): desert cloak
Duerin Rashin: King of Tath; scion of the Rashin Clan who once wrested the Throne under the Mountain (q.v.) from the legitimate Kir Hama incumbent—Duerin’s ancestor failed, but Duerin still wants Roisinan, and went to war over it
dun (pl. dun’en) (K): desert horses, exported to Roisinan, Tath and Shaymir from Kheldrin but affordable only to the very rich; beautiful, graceful animals, faster than the wind, dun breeding is largely the province of the Sayyed clan
Dynan (‘Red Dynan’) Kir Hama: Anghara’s father, King of Roisinan, killed in battle against Duerin Rashin of Tath
Empty Quarter, the: see Beit el’Sihaya
Favrin Rashin: Prince of Algira, son of Duerin Rashin of Tath
Feor: ex-priest of both Kerun and Nual, Sighted tutor in the household of Cascin who grooms Anghara Kir Hama for queenship
Fihra Hai’r (K): literally, The First Oasis; the first water-bearing oasis a traveller encounters upon emerging from the Khar’i’id—depending on which direction the voyager is travelling in, the same oasis can also be known as Shod Hai’r (q.v.)
Fodrun: Dynan’s Second General, on whom leadership devolves during the Battle of Ronval when Dynan is killed and Kalas, the First General so badly wounded as to be permanently disabled; seeing the conflict ahead, he chooses to support Sif Kir Hama, Dynan’s grown son, in preference to his legitimate heiress, the nine-year-old Anghara, but not without some misgiving; also known as Fodrun kingmaker
fram’man (pl. fram’man’en) (K): stranger
Glas Coil (R): Gray Wood, something along the lines of the Celtic Tir’na’n’Og, land of youth—Roisinani believe in it as an afterlife
Gul Khaima (K): Oracle Anghara raises in Kheldrin, on a stone pillar by the sea; human oracle
Gul Qara (K): the ancient oracle in the Empty Quarter, which gives Anghara the name of its successor
had’das (K): species of fish caught off the coast of Kheldrin
Hai! Hai haddari! (K): an expression of amazement or admiration
hai’r (pl. hai’r’en) (K): oasis
Hama dan ar’i’id (K): Kheldrini adage: “You’re never alone in the desert
” han (R): inn, as in Halas Han (inn on the river Hal)
hari: red (Kadun Khajir’i’id is sometimes known as Harim Khaijir’i’id)
Hariff: Powerful Kheldrini clan or family involved with silver mining; root hari, red, may indicate they originated in the Red Desert
Harim Khajir’i’id: the Red Desert (see Kadun Khajir’i’id)
iri’sah (K): hot desert wind
jin’aaz spiders (K): large desert spiders who cocoon their larvae in a chrysalis of silk; Kheldrini use silkseekers (q.v.) to find jin’aaz spider lairs and extract this silk; much prized and very expensive—one of the main Kheldrini exports
kadun (K): north
Kadun Khajir’i’id: the Northern Desert; sometimes also known as Harim Khajir’i’id (q.v.)
Kalas: Dynan’s First General, badly wounded at the Battle of Ronval Keda Cullen: sister to Kieran Cullen, gifted musician from Shaymir
Kerun (R): Roisinan god, also known as The Horned One; he is the Guardian of the Gates to Glas Coil (q.v.). He is the avatar responsible for death and life through death. He is the God of War, of Destruction, of Catastrophe; he must be propitiated at the beginning of every new venture, lest he claim it for his own; his sacrifices often involve gold, and he has his own incense, manufactured specially by the priesthood
khai’san (K): hot storm wind of the desert
khajir (K): sand
khar (K): stone
Khar’i’id: black stone desert of Kheldrin; deadly, hot and poisonous, but also strange and generous with occasional obscure and hermetic gifts; sometimes known as Rah’honim Ar’i’id, the Black Desert
kharkhajir (K): coarse sand, rock-sand
Kheldrin: Land of Twilight, from khel (dark, twilight) + drin (land, country); desert country to the west of Roisinan, for many ages closed to outsiders, except for a tiny cultivated strip in the lee of the coastal mountains, where Roisinani visit the trade port of Sa’alah to bargain for silk, esoteric drugs or dun’en
khi’tai (K): medicinal plant; reduces fevers, acts as a painkiller for minor aches; can be used as an anesthetic in conjunction with lais (q.v.)
Kieran Cullen: a Shaymiri boy, Anghara’s foster-brother, already fostering at Cascin manor when she is sent there; later knighted in battle
ki’thar (pl. ki’thar’en) (K): camels, desert animal of Kheldrin
lais (K): squat, ill-favored small bush found largely in Kadun Khajir’i’id; lais tea, soporific, slightly opiate and possibly addictive, can be made either from the whole leaf or from dried leaf powder; sometimes exported from Kheldrin into Roisinan and Tath; well known in Shaymir, where the plant is named selba
mal’gha (K): yellow (Arad Khajir’i’id is sometimes known as Mal’ghaim Khajir’i’id)
Miranei: Roisinan’s capital and the King’s Keep, a powerful fortress never taken by force—and only a few times by treachery
Morgan of Bresse: the head of the Sisterhood of Bresse, she chose death by martyrdom at Sif’s hand in the knowledge that this would hasten the return of Sight to Roisinan’s persecuted people
Nual (R): Roisinani God of the Waters; not as powerful as Kerun and Avanna, but noteworthy because his temples are sanctuaries which cannot be breached; as some stay a lifetime Nual is sometimes also known as the God of Exile; his temples are always found near water, and anything found on or near the water has always been his; every shipwreck is salvaged by his priests; usually content with light offerings; a garland of flowers thrown into a river is pleasing to him; his priests are as simple as Kerun’s are devious and plot-ridden, and dress in blue in honor of his element
omankhajir (K): soft sand
pa’ha (K): fermented juice of the pahria fruit
pahria palms (K): desert palm bearing large, hard-shelled fruit, soft inside, juicy but tart—an acquired taste; sometimes cultivated, but usually grows wild in desert hai’r’en (q.v.)
rah’hon (K): black
Rah’honim Ar’i’id (K): see Khar’i’id
Rashin: Tath clan of pretenders to the Roisinan throne
Rima of the Wells: Red Dynan’s queen, Anghara’s mother; dies during Sif’s takeover, but is instrumental in saving Anghara from his avenging arm
Roisinan: Ancient land, lush with wood and field ruled by the Kir Hama dynasty until the Rashin clan from south Roisinan rose in revolt and took the throne in blood and rebellion, when the Kir Hama king, Connach Kir Hama, was killed in battle. His son Garen went first into a Nual Sanctuary and then took himself into the mountains, living as an outlaw while he gathered together his father’s shattered army. He took his kingdom back two and half years later, in a successful summer campaign. The Rashin usurper was killed, but his son fled south into what had once been a province of Roisinan and declared it to be the independent kingdom of Tath with its capital at Algira, one of the jewels of Roisinan. Shaymir in the north, once also a part of Roisinan, chose to break away as well, but remained a vassal principality, with Garen Kir Hama as High King in Miranei. Tath was not rooted out, but subdued, and forced to pay tribute. The border, marked by the River Ronval, lies ever uneasy. Garen was succeeded by his son Connach II, and he by his son Dynan, known as the Red for his fiery hair, who in his turn would meet his death at Tath hands like his great-grandsire
Saa! (K): ki’thar command: Stop!
Sa’alah: main Kheldrini port and trade city on the coastal plain
Sabrah: Kheldrini clan or family
sa’hari (K): Are you there? (Equivalent to knocking on a door requesting permission to enter)
Sa’id (K): Lord
Sa’ila: stream close to Sa’alah, only running water in Kheldrin
saliha (K): thank you
salih’al’dayan (K): ritual of giving thanks to the gods, thanksgiving
sarghat (K): a desert root, distinguished on the surface only by a pair of insignificant-looking leaves, easily overlooked by an inexpert traveller, it can sustain life for a long time
Say’ar’dun: Kheldrini city, stronghold of the Sayyed clan, capital of dun’en breeding country
Sayyed: Kheldrini clan or family
say’yin (pl. say’in’en) (K): necklace of rank, usually of sea amber and silver