The Heaven Trilogy (112 page)

“Look at Ivena, Helen.”

Helen turned toward Ivena. The older woman looked directly at Helen with an eagerness in her eyes and the hint of a smile on her lips. There was no fear; there was only this absurd confidence that glowed about her. A fresh surge of tears spilled from Helen’s eyes.

The guards stepped aside and Ivena stood on her own feet, wavering.

“Do not weep for me, Helen. The weeping is for you,” Ivena said.

From the corner of her eye Helen saw Karadzic lift his arm to Ivena. A
boom!
crashed through Helen’s skull and she jerked back. Ivena’s neck folded back. The side of her head was gone. She fell to the floor like a sack of flour.

Then Helen’s mind began to explode with panic. There was laughter, but she couldn’t remove her eyes from Ivena’s limp body to see where it came from— maybe from Karadzic and his woman. Maybe it was from her.

Ivena!
Dear God, Ivena was dead!

Oh, God, please save me! I please beg you to save me! Please, please!

JAN STRAINED against the ropes, ignoring the pain that throbbed in his joints. It had begun, he knew that much. He could feel the tension in his gut, and it made him nauseous.

Dear Father, I beg you, save her. I beg you!

He heard a distant report: a gunshot far away. Had they shot her? Jan dropped his chin to his chest and groaned aloud. Bile filled his throat and he threw up. He spit the bitter taste from his mouth and groaned again. It was too much.

Karadzic would do whatever possible to encourage Helen’s denouncement of love, even if it meant harming her. And Ivena, what would he do to Ivena? The thought of that bullhead touching Helen revolted Jan, actually made his body quiver on its moorings.

He let his head loll and begged God for the moments to pass quickly. If she renounced her love, she would be gone forever and Jan thought he might as well die without her. Which was precisely what would happen. Karadzic would butcher him.

But if Helen chose death instead? Karadzic might break his word and kill her. But there were no other options. At least they would die as one, in love.

Father, you cannot allow her to die. She is your Israel; she is your church; she is your bride
.

A picture from the Psalms, of a giant eagle screaming from the sky to protect its young, spun through his mind.
You have cast this madness, Father. Now save us. You have made me Solomon, desperate for the maiden; you have made me Hosea, loving with your heart. Now show me your hand
.

Silence.

Jan hung from his restraints, wanting death. He could hardly think for the pain. If Karadzic would free his hands, he would claw the man’s eyes out! Jan ground his teeth. He would pummel that thick face!
How dare he touch—

The world abruptly stuttered to white.

The vision!

Laughter crashed in on him from all sides. The field of flowers and this hilarious laughter. A wave of relief swept over his chest and he chuckled suddenly. Then the sentiment thundered through his body and he could not contain it. It was pleasure. Raw pleasure and it boiled from his bones in bubbles of joy!

Jan doubled over, as far as his bound arms allowed, and he laughed. The room echoed with the sounds of a madman, and he couldn’t help thinking that he’d finally lost his sanity. But he knew at once that he could not be more sensible. He was drinking life and it was making him laugh.

Every fiber in his body begged to die in that moment; to join that laughter forever. To roll through the field and rush through the blue sky with Father Micheal and Nadia.

The vision vanished.

He blinked in the darkness.
You know Nadia spoke of laughter, Janjic. You know Father Micheal laughed. And then they both died. The laughing precedes death.

Then let me die, Father.

But save Helen. I beg you.

THEY HAD left the room for a while, to give her time to think things through, the woman said. Ivena’s body lay in a pool of blood to Helen’s right, her eyes open and dead. The candles cast wavering shadows across the room. And Helen stared with round eyes, a sheen of sweat glistening on her skin, breathing in ragged lurches.

She had passed out once, from hyperventilation, she thought. When she came to, she wondered if the whole thing had been a bad dream, but then she saw the body and she started crying again.

The problem was quite simple. She didn’t want to renounce her love for Jan. Her mind revisited his incredible kindness and his passion. Renouncing his love could very well be death in and of itself. At the very least she could never face him again.

But then she didn’t want to die. No, she would never allow them to kill her.

The door banged open, and Karadzic walked in with the woman and two guards. One of the guards walked to Ivena’s body and began pulling it to the side.

“Leave it!” Karadzic said.

The guard released the body and joined his comrade on Helen’s left.

Karadzic took up his position before her, like an executioner eager to get on with it. Vahda was biting at a fingernail, obviously excited. They stared at her in silence for a moment.

Karadzic spoke in a low rumble. “Now, Helen. We’re going to begin breaking your fingers. I prefer the knife and we might get to that, but Vahda has persuaded me that a woman will do anything to keep her fingers.”

Helen began to shake again. The nails in the beam at her back were squeaking with her trembling: an obscene sound that sent chills down her legs.

“Oh, God!” she moaned. “Please, God!”

Karadzic lifted his eyebrows. “God? I told you, God isn’t listening. I think your God—”

It was all she heard. Because the world exploded again. It flashed white.

She was back in the vision!

Only this time, the field of white flowers was swimming in the laughter of children. Helen caught her breath. There was another sound there with the children— she recognized it immediately. It was Ivena! Laughing with the children. Hysterical.

And the prone figure had vanished. And that was funny, she thought. No, that was delightful. That was perfectly incredible! That was better than anything she could ever have imagined.

She heard her own laughter, joining the chorus. Not because it was so funny, in fact funny was a terrible word to describe this emotion erupting from her belly. She felt as though she’d been yanked from an acid bath and plunged into a pool of ecstasy. This intoxicating world of intense pleasure.

This is heaven.

“Stop it!”

The voice snapped Helen back to the room.

“STOP IT!” Karadzic stood trembling. “You think it’s funny?”

Helen was chuckling. The woman hung from his cross covered in her own sweat, shaking like a leaf. A moment before, it had been terror twitching those muscles; now it was laughter.

The scene ran through Karadzic’s mind like a sick joke. He had seen this before. In a small village not so far away, twenty years ago.

“Shut up!”

She stopped and looked around like an idiot, as if unsure of where she was. The absurdity of this sudden turn in her demeanor brought a chill to Karadzic’s bones. What in God’s name did she think she was doing?

“You laugh like that again, I’ll put a bullet in your stomach! Do you hear me?”

Helen nodded. But her eyes were no longer round and wide. They looked at him with mere curiosity. He would have to put the fear back into her. He would break two fingers, one on each hand. Her index fingers.

Karadzic took a step forward, noting that his own hands still trembled. He closed them into fists. “We will see how you feel after—”

“I’ve made my decision,” she interrupted calmly.

He blinked. “You have, have you?”

“Yes.”

“Not so fast.” This was not sounding good. “I have Janjic. Do you know that?” The pitch of his voice had elevated, but he didn’t care.

“You . . . you have Jan?” She swallowed, and for a second he thought she might burst into tears again. “I love him,” the woman said.

“You’re a fool,” Karadzic muttered through clenched teeth.

“I will die rather than renounce my love for Jan.”

This was impossible! “You won’t just die! You’ll have all of your bones broken, one by one, you little coward!”

Her eyes stared at him without moving. Tears spilled from each, leaving fresh trails down her cheeks. But she did not blink.

“If you think you’ll find some perverted satisfaction from hurting an innocent woman, then do it,” Helen said.

“You think you’re innocent? Did I drag you here? You’ve killed your own lover by coming here.”

Her cheeks sagged.

Karadzic continued quickly. “Janjic will die and only you can save him. Renounce him, you fool. They’re only words! Don’t be an imbecile.”

“No!” she screamed. “No.” She began to cry again. She was going to break. Her face wrinkled with pain. Karadzic could smell the change in her and he encouraged her gently.

“Save yourself,” he said. “Renounce him.”

She inhaled sharply and settled slowly against the ropes. She looked directly into his eyes and Karadzic swallowed. There was a new woman behind those eyes and she was stronger than he’d thought.

“You know I can’t do that,” she said quietly. “Kill me. I’ll die for him—it’s long overdue.”

The tremble started at Karadzic’s head and worked its way down to his heels. If he hadn’t been immobilized on the spot, he might have lifted his pistol and shot her then.

Vahda was not so paralyzed. She shrieked and flew past Karadzic with claws extended. Her fingers dug into Helen’s neck and she raked them down her chest, leaving trails of blood.

Karadzic stepped forward and brought a heavy hand across Vahda’s head. The woman sprawled to the floor. “She’s mine!” he shouted. “Did I tell you to do this?”

He stepped back, trying desperately to gather himself. He was losing control of the situation, the one thing no good commander could allow. His breathing came thick and slow. White spots floated in his vision. Vahda pushed herself to her feet.

Karadzic faced Helen. “So. You think you are smart. Choosing your death. Well, I
will
kill you. And I will allow Vahda to break your bones. But you won’t die until you’ve witnessed the death of your lover. Would you like that?”

The woman did not react.

He screamed it. “I said, would you like that?”

She blinked. But otherwise she only peered at him. Her neck was bleeding badly from Vahda’s fingernails.

“Get the prisoner,” Karadzic snapped.

Two guards quickly left the room for Janjic.

“Vahda, dear. Remember, this is my game, not yours. You must remember that.” She didn’t acknowledge him. “So now you may break two of her fingers, but only two,” he said.

She turned to him with a glint in her eyes.

“Yes, darling. You may. And her knees.”

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

THE FIRST thing Jan saw when the two guards dragged him into the room was a tall woman in red with long black hair. She was facing the wall. He saw Karadzic to the left, wearing a sinister grin by candlelight. Then the woman moved aside and he saw Helen.

She’d been tied to a thick wooden cross. Her head lolled to one side, and she stared out into the room, expressionless. She hadn’t seen him.

There was blood on her neck. And her knees . . .
Oh, dear God!
Her knees were a bloody mess. Jan panicked then. He growled and flung himself forward.

His attempt was rewarded with a stiff blow to the side of his head. He slumped between the guards and Helen’s image swam in his vision. She was looking at him now. Slowly a thin smile formed on her mouth.
Dear Helen! My poor Helen!

Her index fingers were oddly disjointed. Nausea swept through his stomach. He turned from her and saw the body folded over itself in the shadows. It was a woman, lifeless, dressed in . . .

It was Ivena! That was Ivena lying in the corner with her head bloodied
. Oh, dear God! Dear God!

Jan closed his eyes and lowered his head. The sorrow rose through his chest and rushed from his eyes, as if a dam had broken deep in him. He hung from his arms between the guards and he wept.

“Do you like what you see, Janjic?” Karadzic asked quietly.

Shut up! Shut up, you devil from hell!

“Don’t listen to him, Jan. Listen to me.” It was Helen’s voice!

He lifted his head and blinked.

“Shut up!” Karadzic said.

But Jan was looking into Helen’s eyes, and he saw something there. Something new. Something that reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. It was the way he’d felt in the restaurant on their first date, the same feeling that had given him weak knees in the garden under a full moon. It was the same beating of his heart that had pounded in his ears while she leaned over his shoulder looking at the coffee machine.

And yet it was coming from her heart, not just his. He could see the love in her eyes and in the lines around her lips. She seemed hardly aware of her broken bones. She was swimming in a new dimension.

He began to cry, and the guards shifted awkwardly on their feet.

“Jan.” It was Helen again, weak yet speaking his name. His body trembled.

“Jan, I love you.”

He lifted his head to the ceiling and began to wail out loud. Waves of joy washed through his bones.

The guards released him suddenly and he crashed to the ground. He hardly felt the force of the fall. She loved him! Dear God, Helen was loving him!

He wanted to look up at her and tell her that he loved her too. That he would give anything to hear her say those words again! That he would die for her.

Jan’s lips pressed against the stone ground and his tears pooled. He rolled to his side and tried to push himself up. He couldn’t. But he had to. He had to stand and rush over to Helen and kiss her face and her feet and her wounded knees and tell her how terribly much he loved her.

Karadzic was screaming something. Jan opened his eyes and saw that the man had thrust a pistol in Helen’s cheek. But Helen’s eyes were on Jan.