The Heart (13 page)

“I think it pissed him off that I hinted it was all I was up for.”

“Let me get this straight,” Jamie said, sliding her sneakers on. “He got butthurt because all you wanted to do was have casual sex?”

“I think so. It was like he was telling me unless he could date me he wouldn’t do anything at all.”

“Out of respect for your father,” Jules added.

The excuses started to pour from me before either could press me further. “I’m six months away from being a senior resident and weeks away from opening the center. That’s all that matters. I mean, what could he want from me? I don’t have time.” I was lying and the looks they were giving me told me they knew better.

“Exactly,” Jules said, giving Jamie a look that screamed shut the hell up.

It was becoming more apparent just how sheltered I’d become. I wasn’t sticking my neck out enough; therefore, I had nothing to be afraid of. I decided then it was fine with me. The finish line was close. I may have the worst luck imaginable when it came to personal relationships, but I would be the best damned surgeon in the state of Texas.

I listened to the jets whirl beneath me and felt absolutely nothing. Noticing the passengers around me board the plane with smiling faces, I realized I hadn’t felt even a hint of the excitement or satisfaction I normally did when I was beginning a new adventure. Frustrated, I tossed back my bourbon, savoring the taste and the burn. It was no big mystery why, either. My Aunt Nadine had pinpointed it last night when we met for dinner.

“This is new,” she said, staring down at her menu as I sat across from her, ignoring mine.

“What?” I asked, motioning to the waitress for two more drinks.

She laid down her menu, her detective skills coming out to play. She’d been the lead investigator in the city of New Orleans for the last thirty years alongside my Uncle Spencer, who held a seat as judge. She’d been the hardest parent to put anything over on. Well, that and the fact that she knew me better than most.

“You haven’t stuck to your two drink minimum. You’re agitated and morose. You pushed your trip back by another week. My guess is you’re holding out for something. Who is she?”

Throwing the rest of my drink back, I scooted back into my seat, ignoring the girl at the bar directly over my aunt’s shoulder who was trying far too hard to get my attention. It happened often, and I hated it.

“It was nothing. A flirtation that didn’t go well.” I knew better than to dismiss my aunt. She wasn’t buying it. Neither was I.

I adjusted myself again to avoid reciprocating the stares that came my way.

“Ignore them, talk to me. Tell me.”

When I’d unexpectedly gotten the first onslaught of female attention a few years after my last surgery, my Aunt Nadine had been the one to school me on how to handle it. I’d been locked inside my head for so long, I’d had no clue what to do with my new popularity. It was a nightmare for an introvert. Nadine was one of very few to have brought me out of my shell.

“I just told you,” I said as my agitation grew. “Did you ever stop to think we only have these dinners once a month so you’ll stop grilling me on my personal life?”

“You don’t have one,” she said, sitting up in her seat, her fists balled at the end of the table, a sure sign of a conversation I didn’t want to have. My Uncle Spencer had loved the fire he saw in her when they met. She was nineteen, and already out of college. According to him, she had been the hardest woman in the world to handle, and still was. He loved her more than life.

“I do fine,” I said in another attempt to close the subject.

“Oh, I have no doubt,” she said and turned to look behind her at the woman at the bar who’d put her best assets on display for me, “if you want them fast.”

“I’m thirty-seven years old. Aren’t I a little old for this talk?”

“Guess not,” she quipped back. “You’re still running around the globe like your ass is on fire.”

“I like to travel. Lots of adults do.”

“I said running.”

“Don’t,” I warned. “It was always my plan.”

“Fine, I’ll give you that. But how many times have you been to the Himalayas?”

I leaned forward as my temper flared. “Twice, this will be the third.”

“How about Australia?”

“Four.”

“Africa?”

“Six.”

“Greenland, Iceland, fucking Loch Ness?”

“Fine, point taken. My turn. Do you all get together on some conspiratorial level and decide what hard questions you want to ask?”

“Yes,” she said with her no bullshit tone.

“And they send you because, what, you’re the meanest?”

“Ouch,” she said in mock hurt. “Yes.”

“That only worked until I caught on,” I said, biting into the flavored ice in my drink. “I was seven.”

“Jack—” she started.

“Shit,” I muttered, giving her my full attention.

I looked at my aunt and gave her the ear she was asking for.

“You’re like a son to me.”

“I am your son,” I assured her.

I saw her eyes soften before she laid into me. “Your diet is lacking substance and it’s my job to point that out to you.”

“I get it.”

Her voice was a whisper as she looked at me with glassy eyes. “I don’t think you do.”

I paused at my aunt’s emotion. She had been a pillar of strength for me my whole life. She’d been there for me on my darkest days, the days before, and every day after. I’d never known life without her, never wanted to. I swallowed hard.

“You all feel this way?”

She nodded.

I looked out the window at the bustling streets of New Orleans, thinking of Rose and the look in her eyes when I’d almost kissed her. That look alone was worth skipping my trip.

“She’s off limits.”

“How so?”

“She’s a friend of mine’s daughter. And she’s scared.”

“So she’s not off limits.”

“If you ignore everything I just told you then, no, she’s not off limits.”

Ignoring another smile from her, I grabbed her drink and took a large swallow as she sighed in distaste. Our plates were deposited, and I took a large forkful of fish, knowing if I didn’t kick the buzz, I would end up in a cab and forced to leave my bike, something I hated to do. I finished my plate and looked up to see my aunt with a growing smile on her face. “This talk was pointless.”

“I agree.”

“No, Jack.” And this is where the point kicked in. “You’ve already made your decision.”

“And that decision is seat 1A in about twelve hours.”

My aunt looked down at her plate with another smile as my temper flared.

“I’m not hiding, and I’m not running. I hope you know that. I hope you’ve known that. I’ve been good for a very long time,” I said confidently.

Ignoring my remark, she looked on at me with pride. “You were so afraid to show that beautiful face,” she mused.

“Only you thought it was beautiful.”

“Beauty isn’t everything. It’s hardly anything.”

“I know.”

“You more than anyone, and now you’re the most beautiful man in the world.”

“Again, only you’d think that.”

“Not this time, my boy,” she said as she glared over her shoulder. “And who said I was talking about your face?” She stood suddenly and laid her credit card on the table. I moved to stop her from paying, but she cut me off with a look of warning. I surveyed her untouched plate and looked back up to her in confusion. “You know I would never cut our time short, but I have an appointment.”

I waited as I watched a rare blush coat her cheeks. With an eye roll, she admitted the truth. “With a wedding planner.”

I gave her a full laugh, and she looked down at me with a scowl while she filled out the credit card slip. My aunt, though a hard-ass, looked nowhere near her actual age, and was truly a beautiful woman. She’d had it on good authority to teach me about unwanted attention, having had dealt with a fair amount of it herself.

“Eat my plate before you get on that damned bike,” she ordered as I stood to hug her. She wrapped around me tightly for a moment, a little longer than usual.

“Don’t worry,” I whispered as she held me tighter at my words before she let me go.

I watched her walk away and made a move to resume my seat when I smelled perfume. For a second, I entertained the idea of a quick fuck. It was something I wouldn’t have hesitated doing months or even weeks ago. But my aunt was right. I had dined on the same type of woman who stood behind me now for almost a decade. Empty sex in an instantly empty bed after didn’t have the same sating effect it used to have. My last fling had lasted only a few months. I’d been in Vietnam on another one of my endless trips and hadn’t batted an eyelash when she’d informed me she’d moved on almost a month before my return. Still, it would be a decent attempt to get the eyes and lips I’d spent the last week thinking about out of my head, though I could never erase the impression she’d made.

Rose in my thoughts again and my decision made, I quickly turned to the woman in wait and watched her eyes widen.

“I’d hoped you had overheard our conversation and would come over.”

Her eyes scanned me up and down, and I could see the excitement build on her features.

“Oh yeah?” she said suggestively.

“So then you’re ready to accept Christ as your savior?!”

She froze as I barely managed to stifle my laugh. I looked down at her deep cleavage and back up to her perfectly painted face. “He loves all of his children, no matter their sins.”

She blew out an audible puff of air in defeat as she approached the bar, grabbed her purse, and made her way out of the door.

I chuckled at the memory of the woman’s face as I watched the last few passengers stuff overly full luggage into the compartments. The more they worked the luggage into the limited space, the more the plane started to suffocate me. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was grab my duffle bag and go. The trip no longer appealed to me and I knew the reason.

“Damnit,” I cursed under my breath as I gifted my aunt her wish and stood just as the flight attendant moved to lock the door.

The following Saturday, after my failed first attempt at dating, I was sitting on the newly delivered cement picnic bench just outside the main building as my father conducted his final meeting with the crew. I wasn’t needed, and it suited me just fine. I’d decided to bring my lunch outside, though it was still hot as hell. I’d been in the freezing air conditioning most of the day and could feel my skin thawing out. I was lost in my own thoughts, staring out into the distance when awareness and his scent hit me.

“Mmmm, that looks good.”

Cajun.

I looked up with a smile just as my wrist was gripped by Jack’s hand. He brought the apple I was just about to devour to his mouth and took a large bite out of it, closing his eyes with a moan. Before I could audibly protest, he wiped peanut butter off the corner of my lip and sucked it off his finger.

“It’s the perfect combination, don’t you think?”

My senses reeling, I nodded in agreement before it occurred to me to be offended.

Jack, still holding my wrist, took another bite of my apple and smiled around it. I smiled back, unable to fight the urge.

We stared at each other for a brief moment before he spoke up. “Did you miss me?”

“No,” I lied, holding out the apple for him to take, which he pushed toward me. I’d done nothing but think about him, knowing I’d screwed up. In front of me now, he was like a breath of fresh air while he stole mine at the same time. It had only been a week since I’d seen him, but my memory of him hadn’t done him justice. Not only was he beautiful to look at, his easy smile and the crinkle around his eyes somehow put me at ease.