I closed my eyes, waiting to hear Varick's voice in my head. He felt my hesitation. "I'm right here, Jacey. You can do this. Just nice and easy. Trust me."
I opened my eyes just long enough to place my hands on Cathy's lower back. Her skin was clammy and cool to the touch. I flattened my palms against her back. Then I closed my eyes and concentrated, searching for the tumors. Suddenly, I felt them, a large softball size tumor and a number of smaller tumors around it.
"I can feel them," I breathed.
"Good, Jacey. Now apply the pressure."
I did as Varick instructed. I pressed down on Cathy's back, feeling the tumors in my palms. I pressed harder, closing my eyes tighter.
"Ow," Cathy groaned.
"Sorry," I whispered as I applied more pressure to her back. The warmth began in the center of my palms, heating my entire hand. It grew. I felt it penetrating Cathy's back and radiating down to the tumors. I envisioned the tumors receiving the healing heat, shrinking and dying. The burn intensified.
"Yes, Jacey. That's it," Varick encouraged in my ear. "This is your purpose...your destiny."
My hands grew hotter still and my palms began to burn. I could feel beads of sweat popping out along my forehead, nose, and even down my neck. I kept my eyes closed tightly and turned my head, grimacing from the searing pain in my hands.
"Varick," I whimpered as the burn increased still. I thought I heard Cathy moaning quietly into her pillow.
"Not yet, Jacey. You're almost there. Keep going." Varick's rich voice was soothing, but not enough to ease the burn.
I felt as though I were fighting a high fever. My hands were on fire. I envisioned the tumors burning too, shrinking to little piles of ash. The burn increased even more, the fire reaching its peak. I was only slightly aware that my breathing had become short, shallow gasps in response to the excruciating pain. Just when I thought I absolutely couldn't take another second, I felt the heat reach its crescendo as the sharp whiteness ignited.
Then the pain was gone. But so was everything else. My world remained dark as I slowly lost consciousness. "Varick," I mumbled, just before darkness overtook me as I fell into an abyss of nothingness.
I awoke feeling groggy and nauseous. My throat and mouth were dry and scratchy. I wanted water. I tried to sit up, still unaware of my surroundings. Gentle hands lightly pushed me back down onto the softness cradling me.
"Shhh, lie back down, until you wake a little more."
That voice was so familiar. I kept my eyes closed and tried to remember how I knew that voice. My mind was too foggy to come up with an answer.
"Water," I croaked through my dry lips.
The same gentle hands lifted my head and I felt cool water slide over my lips and into my parched mouth. The water soothed the dry scratchiness of my throat.
"Sleep more," the soothing voice commanded. "You need your rest."
Sleep sounded good, at least to take away the grogginess and nausea still ailing me. I allowed my body to sink back into sleep. I felt warm and safe. Somehow, I knew I was in familiar surroundings. As I drifted back into the darkness of sleep, I heard that familiar voice again. The words the voice said were foreign and unfamiliar, but comforting as they played in my ear. The last thing I heard was "My Healer".
I don't know how long I slept. But as soon as I had opened my eyes and saw the ceiling tiles, I knew exactly where I was.
How many times have I lain in this bed, staring up at those tiles? Too many times to count.
I stretched my arms above me and arched my back off the bed. The aching caused me to groan.
"Good morning. Finally awake?"
I turned onto my side, pulling my covers up to my chin protectively. Varick sat in the stuffed chair across the room, his hands folded in his lap. He smiled at me. I was surprised to see him sitting there in my bedroom. I lay on my side looking at him with a smile across my face.
"Or maybe I should say good afternoon?" Varick teased.
"Afternoon?" I sat up and rubbed my face. "What time is?"
"I don't know...about three or so."
I suddenly realized that Varick was actually sitting in my room. With me. I tried to run my fingers through my hair to straighten it. When my fingers got stuck in the snarls, I yanked them free, bending to pick up a rubber band from the nightstand next to my bed. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun on top of my head.
Varick was still smiling at me as he lounged in the chair.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, raising my eyebrows curiously.
Does Oma know he is here?
"Watching you," Varick replied.
My cheeks darkened as the blush stained across them. I looked down at my quilt and picked at a loose thread. "How long have I been sleeping?"
"Almost three days."
"Three days?!" I stared at Varick, my eyes wide with shock and disbelief. "No way have I been sleeping that long."
Varick smiled as he stood and walked over to me. I felt my stomach flip flop as he sat on the edge of my bed. I drew in my breath sharply at the sight of his intense eyes.
"Yes, you have been sleeping for almost three days. That is how your body recovers after a healing like you performed on Sunday."
I stared at him in disbelief. Three days since Sunday, so this was Wednesday. My stomach churned again, this time with disgust and panic. I flung the covers off me to get up. "I've missed three finals already."
Varick grabbed my hand to stop me. My breath was a sharp gasp as the tingling contact startled me. He pulled my hand closer, adding his other hand to cradle mine in his. "Don't worry about your exams. Oma has taken care of that for you. She's arranged for make up times so you can take the exams you missed and still participate in graduation in a couple of weeks."
"A week from Saturday," I corrected.
"A week from Saturday," Varick said, chuckling.
I stared at our hands, unable to look at Varick's face.
"Jacey, don't you want to know what you did? What you were able to do?"
I kept my eyes diverted at I nodded my head.
"Look at me," Varick said softly. "Look at me."
I raised my eyes to look at Varick. I blushed again under his intense scrutiny.
"You did it. Jacey, you healed her."
"I did?" But the confusion vanished as I realized what Varick was referring to. "I did it?" I asked more firmly, already knowing the answer, but asking anyway.
"Yes, you did it. You healed Cathy. Completely."
"But how do you know?"
"She went to her appointment yesterday. The doctor was amazed because she looked healthy, no longer yellow, no longer tired. So, he ordered an MRI and it showed that all the tumors in her pancreas and liver were completely gone. Not just reduced in size, but completely gone." Varick's eyes were bright with excitement. "You cured her. You did it." He drew out the last three words for emphasis.
"I did it," I repeated. My eyes began to blur with tears.
Varick released one of his hands from mine. He leaned closer and caressed my cheek with his knuckles. Though his caress was soft and gentle, it sent my heart fluttering from the tingling on my skin left by his hand.
"You are amazing," Varick said. "You are still a young Healer. Healing a terminal illness is usually something only experienced healers can do. But you did it." He dropped his hand from my face.
"I was only able to do it because you were there helping me."
Varick shook his head in disagreement; his eyes never leaving mine. "No, Jacey. You did it. Just you." Varick leaned closer. He touched my face with his hand again, smiling slightly as he did. His eyes glanced down to my lips.
My heart pounded and my stomach fluttered as Varick leaned closer. I could smell his cool, musky scent all around me. He was going to kiss me. And I wanted him to do it. Now.
I closed my eyes and leaned toward Varick. I could vaguely hear Varick whisper some words in his language, words I didn't understand. But my body still responded, eager to have his lips on mine. I waited, eyes closed until I felt a softness brush over my lips, barely even touching them.
"Uh, I'm sorry." It was Oma. "I thought I heard you talking. You have some visitors if you're feeling up to it."
I opened my eyes and whirled my head toward my open bedroom door where Oma stood. Varick had sat up, creating a large space between us. I blushed at the thought of Oma walking in to see me and Varick almost kissing. I tried to smile anyway. I'm sure it looked awkward.
"Yes, Oma. I can see visitors. Can you give me a minute?" I wanted her to leave, so I could turn my attention back to Varick. I still wanted my kiss. I glanced at Varick out of the corner of my eye.
He was smiling as he stood up and addressed Oma. "That's fine. I was just leaving anyway." Varick started for the door where Oma was standing.
"Wait," I called, throwing the blankets off and jumping out of my bed. I grabbed onto Varick's tattooed arm, to stop him. It worked. "Please don't go," I whispered to him. I wasn't aware of Oma anymore. It was just me and Varick in my bedroom, just a small space between us as my hand gripped his forearm. I was desperate to have him stay. "Don't leave." I was begging him, but I didn't care.
Varick gently pulled away. His smile disappeared. "See to your visitors. I will be around. I'm never far away. And besides, I need to check on Asim. He's been alone while I've been here with you. Who knows what trouble he's gotten himself into." He rolled his eyes dramatically and turned to leave again.
"Varick, wait," I called out again. But I didn't touch him. I stood in the middle of my room, helplessness surrounding me.
Varick turned and closed the distance between us. He took both of my hands in his as he faced me. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "I think it's better that I'm not around when you see your visitors. Too many questions." Varick tilted his head to look at me.
Nodding, I squeezed his hands, loving the feel of them in mine. He squeezed my hands in response while he smiled at me.
"I'll see you later tonight."
Varick turned as if he was going to leave, but thought better of it and turned back to face me. With our hands still intertwined, he pulled me close so our faces almost touched. He smiled rakishly before he placed a soft kiss on the top of my nose. The intimate contact sent bolts of electricity straight to my heart. I took a deep breath, gasping at the charge his light kiss brought me.
"See you later," he said as he pulled back and turned toward the door. Oma moved so Varick could leave. She didn't look pleased.
Once Varick was gone, Oma stared at me, her hands firmly planted on her hips. She shook her head disapprovingly at me.
I rolled my eyes at Oma, before bending over to pick up jeans and a shirt from my bedroom floor. I tried to squeeze past her to move into the bathroom but Oma stayed firmly in her place.
"Oma, I need to get through."
Oma just stared at me with disapproving eyes.
"What?" I tried hard to keep the annoyance from my voice.
"I just wish you would listen to me about your relationship with Varick."
"I know what I'm doing." I couldn't help the irritation seeping in.
"I don't think a romantic relationship is good for either of you."
"Our relationship is not romantic."
Not yet anyway
. "We care about each other, but it's not what you think."
"That's not what it looked like, Jacey."
I stared back at Oma, the irritation now plain on my face and in my voice.
"Oma, just say it. Just say why you don't want me and Varick to get any closer. Why are you meddling so much?" I held my clothes to my body.
Oma sighed and dropped her hands from her waist. Her face softened and I thought I could see tears beginning to fill her eyes. "I already told you, Jacey. I'm just afraid. I can see the same strong attraction between you and Varick that I saw between your mother and father. And look at what that got them."
"Yeah...me."
"That's not what I meant. You are the best, the very best part of their relationship. But the rest; well, it wasn't easy."
"But Oma, relationships are never easy. You and Opa didn't always have it easy."
Oma smiled and I knew I was winning the argument.
"I know you're afraid, Oma. But, I care about Varick and I know he cares about me."
"But what about Jamie?"
"Jamie?" I blinked my eyes.
Why was she bringing him up?
"Do you care about him?" Oma stared at me, her gaze probing.
"Well, yeah, I care about him." I shrugged my shoulders casually.
"No, Jacey. Do you care about him like you do for Varick? I know Jamie cares a lot about you. I can see that when he looks at you."
Before I answered, I thought of Jamie. I remembered our last encounter and the kiss we had shared in his Jeep. I brought my hand to my lips as if I could still feel him there.
"Do you care about Jamie as you do Varick?"
I turned my gaze back to Oma. "I think I do," I said, dropping my hand from my mouth.
Oma smiled at my response.
"Now what do I do?" I whispered, my eyes wide. I was so confused.
"Nothing," Oma answered as she walked over to me to place her hands on my arms. "You do nothing more than what you are doing right now. Your heart will tell you what to do."
Oma placed a tender kiss on my forehead before she turned to leave me alone in my bedroom.
I stared after her, still clutching my clothes. I cared deeply for both of them. That was true. I couldn't deny it. Both Varick and Jamie created confusing, strong emotions inside me. I didn't know what to do.
"Jacey, are you coming down?" Oma's sweet voice called up the stairs and drifted into my bedroom. Her words brought me back to the present and the visitors waiting for me downstairs.
"Yeah, just a minute. I'll be right down." I ran into the bathroom to shower and change before heading down the stairs.
When I finally reached the living room, I couldn't see anyone. I heard muffled voices but I wasn't sure if they were coming from the back deck or the front porch.