The Guestbook (10 page)

“Your coat,” she called after him. She peeled it off and tossed it into his outstretched arms. Lily returned to the porch and watched Ian disappear into the cloudless night.

The test baking to decide on the final items for Ian’s art opening had gone well this week, and she was pretty sure what the final menu would be. As she put the finishing touches on her latest recipe, the phone rang. Lily checked the caller ID, it was her lawyer. She picked up phone and just listened; every sentence he said pounded into her gut. “I understand,” she told him. “I’ll get back to you.”

She hung up and staggered over to a chair to support her wobbly legs. Brad had been gone just a little more than a week, and now this phone call from Karl. It was unbelievable the lows that Brad would stoop to in order to get his way and get her back. The lawyer had been a little encouraging, but his words about what might happen still rang in her ears.

He was claiming to be broke, saying she owed half the debts, and was probably hiding money every place he knew. Even their cars were leased, except for the Honda she had driven away in, and that made it community property. Nothing was a solid asset she could count on. It was too much to bear. Their whole life together had been based in smoke and mirrors.

She rifled through her divorce folder looking for the name of the forensic accountant her mother had located for her. She wondered how she was going to pay for that too. But without professional help to uncover assets and income, she was lost and would come away with nothing. It might be best to walk away. No one won with Brad, and there was nothing to win but more debt. She would certainly consider that.

But now she had to make a list of all the jewelry and clothes that had been gifts from Brad to prove that they were not part of her debt. She thought of the Cartier watches and diamond necklaces, the imported French dresses and shoes; he had bought them all to make her shine for the outside world.  She didn’t want or need them now, and she would be damned if she would pay for half of them. Besides, she had left them all behind, and he could sell them or burn them for all she cared. At least she was not liable for any debt he incurred after she moved out.

Exhaustion set in, and all she wanted to do was go lie down in her bed and hide under the covers. All this debt, no income, cancelled credit cards. She tried to remember what the good news was. She dropped into her bed and burst into tears. There was no one to comfort her or come to her rescue.  For a moment she thought of Ian, so tender and kind. She was pretty sure he would be there if she reached out to him. It would feel so good to have a sympathetic friend. But she did not want to turn to another man to save her. It was time she did that for herself.

She had a friend in Jude, she had her mother, and she had her grandmother, whose presence filled every room with her love. She could feel Grandma Maggie as if she were here, sitting on the bed, encouraging her and making her smile. Lily wiped her tears and sat up in bed. She opened the nightstand drawer, pulled out the Guestbook, and propped it open on her lap.

A few pictures fell out that had been pressed between the pages. One was of her as a
little girl playing in the flower garden. Another was of her father giving her a piggyback ride.  Her father…she had not thought of him in years. He was a vague memory of someone fun, but someone dark. He’d been around then and sober, most of the time. All of her happy memories were at her grandmother’s, except for the last one before they left the island. Her father driving off in a huff with that woman in the car, her mother in tears yelling for Lily to get in the car, Grandma Maggie saying over and over, “I’m so sorry this happened, Katherine, so sorry.” After he had abandoned them, Lily had never heard from him again.  She thought about how bitter her mother had been, how confused she herself was. She knew he’d gone off with another woman, but as a child, she hadn’t understood really what that meant. Didn’t he love them anymore?

Over the years, she’d never thought much about how it might have affected Grandma Maggie, who’d just recently become a widow herself, to have her son take off. How alone her grandmother must have felt after Katherine swooped them off to California to make sure Lily’s father never found them, and then cut off contact with her grandmother just to be sure. Maggie lost her only grandchild at the same time as her only son. The last picture showed her grandmother wearing her classic and radiant smile. No matter how much pain she had been through, her grandmother had put on a smile and managed to start a successful bed and breakfast, and help others too.

She sifted through some of the pages, and her eye caught on a particular entry written before the B&B closed.

Dear Innkeeper,

You will never know how much my stay here has meant to me, and how it has changed my life. I arrived so very depressed, having just been told of my diagnosis. Yes, I know I did not tell you. But, Margaret, you seemed to sense my need, and I did not want to burden you. The cool breezes, the gentle serenity of this island, and this cozy Inn soothed my aching heart. Your special brand of kindness, generosity of spirit, and contagious smile helped open my heart. You gave so much. I felt encouraged by your words. You helped me to find the courage to trust my instincts and have the strength to pursue my course of treatments. A healing does not come close to describing the magic I experienced here in this enchanted place. Many blessings to you, my Innkeeper Angel,

Marie

Lily closed the book abruptly. She felt like she was trespassing in someone else’s world. Always, there was someone with problems greater than her own to remind her to be grateful. The woman’s courage shone brightly and sent a surge of strength to Lily’s own spirit. Surely this place would work its magic on her too—actually, if she were honest, it already had.

Her mind drifted again to Ian, as it did so often these days. He seemed too good to be true, and the timing could not be more wrong. She needed all her energy and focus just to deal with Brad and their divorce, not to mention figuring out her financial situation. Perhaps someday she would feel safe enough to think about love again, but not now. She had no idea what she really wanted, but she was determined to figure it out. Cooking and baking had always been a passion, so it was a natural place to start. And get a dog…or two. A trip to the local animal shelter was definitely in her future.

She skimmed through the Guestbook pages and caught a neatly folded letter as it fell out from the back of the book. It was addressed to her grandmother. She was about to slip it back into the book when her eyes caught on the first line.

Dear Margaret,

I’m kind of rusty in the love letter department, but I know I have to tell you how I feel. After my wife Carol died, I never thought that I would find love again in this life. But I have been blessed twice. You’ve always been there, waving across the field with that big smile, bringing me dinner so I wouldn’t starve after Carol’s stroke, taking care of me. Your heart was big enough to weather my stormy moods and despair after her death.

Sometimes I feel like a silly old man falling in love this way. My heart skips a beat whenever I see you, and at my age that might be dangerous! I don’t know quite why you love me, but I thank God you do.

When the Heavens see fit to send love your way, only a darn fool would turn down a gift like that. Margaret, you are my light, my reason each day for waking, and my last thought when I turn off the light to sleep. I give you all my heart, all my soul, for as long as I’m here on this Earth.

I love you,

John

John? John McPherson next door? It had to be. Lily laughed with delight. Her grandmother had not been all alone after all. Relief lightened her heart. She liked the idea that love was a gift. Could be she was more like her grandmother than she knew. They sure had the same taste in men. John was a bit old for her, but Ian…

Lily jumped out of bed, ran a brush through her hair, and bundled up to head into town. The nasty weather accounted for all the empty parking spaces on Front Street, so she was able to park right in front of the café.

A few tables were filled with people finishing what looked to be a late lunch, and a couple of men were drinking beers at the bar.  Jude looked up from some paperwork and waved Lily over to a table by the picture window.

“Beautiful view today of gray and more gray!” Jude said.

“Nothing one of your Grande Mochas won’t fix.”

Jude raised an eyebrow. “One of those sorts of days?”

Lily nodded. “When you have time to talk…”

“Be right back,” Jude said.

Lily sat and looked out the window. It was about zero visibility today. No rain, but dense grayness and light fog put her in the mood for a nap, one that lasted all day.  She checked her watch: two o’clock. She’d better not stay too long and have to drive home in this weather once it got dark. Which, in February, was still around five-ish in the afternoon.

Jude placed the steaming mocha in front of her and joined Lily at the table. “So give, what’s up?”

Lily took a few sips and savored the warm foamy drink before answering. “Same old thing. My lawyer called today, and it’s just more bad news.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jude said with genuine sympathy.  “Drink up, let the
marvelous mixture of chocolate and sugar do its work.”

The mocha and the good company were definitely soothing Lily’s frayed nerves. She would find a way to work things out. Brad was not going to intimidate her anymore.

“So, tell me about your dinner with Ian,” Jude whispered, making sure no one else heard.

“Oh right, I forgot.”

“You forgot! That bad?”

Lily broke a smile, “No, it was good, fun and…”

“And what?”

“I don’t know what I think about Ian. He offered me some work catering his art opening.”

“That’s great news,” Jude said.

“Is it?”

“Lily, Ian’s a great guy. If he offers you work, trust me, he is not looking for something in return.”

Lily lowered her eyes. In Los Angeles, anyone that gave anything expected to get something in return. She was not used to someone just being kind with no hidden agenda. “I just don’t want to get involved with another man right now.”

She could feel Jude’s eyes boring into her and looked up.

“What?” Lily asked.

“Just take your time. You’ll know what do to,” Jude said.

It had been a long time since someone trusted her to know what to do. She hoped Jude was right.

Jude stood and started clearing off the table. “So, shall we dress up and go to Ian’s art opening together? I’ll invite Kyla to join us too.”

“Sounds great.” Lily laid some cash on the table for the coffee and waved goodbye, feeling a lot better than when she had arrived.

Outside, the sun was doing its best to break through the thick, dark clouds, and Lily wasn’t ready to go home and be alone just yet. Why not wander over to the art gallery and peek through the window at Ian’s work? After all, she did have to know what kind of event she was catering for. She walked around the corner and located the Raven Gallery.

Resting her forehead and hands on the glass, she could make out the large paintings being mounted on the walls by gallery staff. The front door was locked when she tried to go in.

“Lily, is that you?”

She turned quickly, almost stumbling into the handsome man standing before her. “Ian…”

He laughed. Was he laughing at her? Did she look foolish?

“Couldn’t wait for the show, I see,” Ian said. “Did you want your own private viewing?”

She felt her face flush and heat rise to her already restricted throat. “Well, I, yes, no, I mean, yes, I was curious. And I was trying to get a sense of your work before I finalize the menu for you opening.”

“I see.” He just stood there with what she hoped was a friendly grin on his face. “Ok, well, come on in.”

Her breath released. “Thanks, just for a minute, I have lots of planning and shopping
to do this afternoon for your event.” She was glad she could think of something to say. It wasn’t like she had nothing better to do than seek him out.

He pulled the key from his pocket and opened the door. Motioning for Lily to step inside, he said, “I’m not usually on the island on Thursdays, but I came early this week to set up the show. Hope you’ll stay after you drop off the desserts.”

Lily nodded. “Of course.”

“Only a few of the paintings are unwrapped and some are still being mounted, but I’ll show you one of my favorites.” He walked over to a brick wall and he pointed to a painting under a spotlight of a Kingfisher suspended in outer space overlooking the Earth.

“The detail is amazing on this one, the eye looks right through me,” Lily said.

“I named this one ‘Eye on the World.’  In ancient China, the Kingfisher was thought to be a symbol of beauty and it is generally seen as an omen for peace and good fortune.”

He showed her a few more paintings and then escorted her to the door. “Don’t want to spoil the show for you.”

“Right,” she said. “I look forward to seeing more of your work.”

She felt his eyes on her as she walked down the sidewalk back to her car. She hoped she could keep steady footing with her head so giddy. If she could run, she would, but what would he think then? What in the world did he think now?