The Guest List (40 page)

She was still ten weeks from term, but according to the instructor in her antenatal class anyone could go into labour prematurely. What’s worse was that she was thousands of miles away from home, her doctor and her birth plan.

Oh God, her birth plan!

Paul looked at his wife, unsure of what to do next as she started to sweat profusely, fighting through increasing pain. ‘Could you be in labour?’

‘I don’t know Paul!’ she said, starting to cry. ‘I’ve never done this before.’

Suddenly everyone seemed to turn their attention on Heidi, temporarily diverted from the drama of Danielle’s revelation. Kim, evidently sensing that something was up with Heidi’s baby, quickly found her way to the other woman’s side.

‘Heidi?’ she said softly, leaning down to her. ‘What’s happening? What are you feeling right now?’

‘I don’t know. Cramps, it’s bad. It hurts.’ Heidi breathed out heavily. ‘Am I in labour, Kim?’ she asked, afraid to hear the answer. This was her worst nightmare. ‘It’s too early!’

‘How many weeks are you again?’ Kim inquired, keeping her voice steady.

‘Thirty,’ Heidi said, without having to pause for thought.

Kim’s face was unreadable. ‘OK. Hold on. Betty, can you get me some blankets and a pillow? I want Heidi to lie down flat and see if that helps.’

Betty obliged and Kim helped Heidi down, allowing her to rest on her back with a pillow under her knees and one at her lower back. Then she crouched down to Heidi’s level.

‘It will be OK Heidi,’ her mother encouraged, but Heidi turned away, focused only on Kim. She didn’t want to be around her mum right now; she couldn’t look at her without thinking about all that had just happened.

‘Should I see if the hotel has a doctor down here?’ Lauren asked.

Heidi looked weakly to Kim. ‘Am I going to have the baby here, Kim? On the floor? This isn’t my birth plan. I was supposed to have soothing classical music and candles – Oh Paul!’ Heidi started to sob.

‘Shh, Heidi, you are just scared, and there’s nothing to be scared about. And don’t worry about the birth plan, sometimes babies have their own plans. But first, I want you to answer some questions for me, OK? And relax. That’s really important. If you are stressed, the baby is going to be stressed.’

‘I know!’ she cried. ‘That’s what I have been trying to tell everyone this whole time, and this family of ours, they are completely bonkers—’

‘Shh, don’t worry about the family right now, don’t think about any of it. Just think about you and your baby, OK? Now close your eyes and breathe in and out, in and out.’

Kim’s tone was decidedly soothing and Heidi duly closed her eyes, and tried to stay calm as per her instructions. ‘OK. I’m thinking about the baby.’

‘When did the cramps start?’

‘Just now, just as everything was happening.’

‘OK and where did they start exactly?’

‘In my tummy Kim,’ Heidi said, resisting the urge to add a ‘duh’ at the end of the statement.

‘I know that, but where. Like lower? Or at the top of your abdomen?’ Kim’s hand ran across Heidi’s stomach, looking for information on where the pain had originated.

Heidi thought for a minute. ‘I think it was lower.’

‘OK. You didn’t feel your waters break or anything, did you?’

Heidi shook her head. ‘No, nothing yet. But I haven’t checked.’

Kim chuckled. ‘You would know if your waters broke. I needed four towels with Olivia, I thought it would never stop.’

Heidi giggled nervously. ‘No, definitely nothing like that.’

‘Have you had any cramps since moving down here, to the ground?’ Kim wiped a hand across Heidi’s brow gently. Heidi had to admit, it felt nice, especially because she felt so hot and sweaty.

‘No, it feels better now.’

‘OK Heidi. That’s good.’ Kim sat back. ‘I think you’ll be fine. It’s still very early days and I think you just had a case of Braxton Hicks, known as false labour. I’ve had it myself. It can usually be stopped by changing position, like we just did.’

‘So he’s not coming early?’ Heidi opened her eyes.

‘He?’ Kim repeated, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded. ‘Yes, we are having a boy.’

She smiled. ‘You never said anything . . .’

‘You never asked.’

Kim shook her head. ‘Point taken. I’m sorry.’

‘I didn’t think you were that interested, because you’ve been telling me to stop being silly and to stop going on about it all the time.’

‘I know, and that was wrong of me too,’ said Kim softly. ‘I hope you will forgive me. I have to remind myself that everyone is different, especially when it comes to this. I know I can be a bit dismissive about certain things, especially when it’s something I’ve been through before.’

Heidi smiled a little. ‘I know, and I suppose that I can be a bit – dramatic sometimes.’

Kim arched an eyebrow. ‘Sometimes?’

Heidi laughed. ‘Actually, I can probably be a real pain. But it can be a bit scary you know.’ She met Kim’s gaze. ‘Thank you Kim, I was . . . I was really worried,’ she admitted reluctantly.

‘Understandable, but it’s fine honestly. You’ll both be fine.’

Heidi closed her eyes again. ‘I guess it must have been very scary that last time for you – with Lindsay I mean.’

Kim looked at her. ‘It was. Very scary. I wasn’t sure if either of us would make it.’

‘I didn’t understand . . . why you wanted to do it a different way this time. Before now I mean,’ she said, referring to Kim’s plans for a C-section. ‘Being honest, it’s the first time I’ve really thought about the baby, and how frightened you can be for it, especially when you don’t know what’s going to happen.’

Kim nodded. ‘That’s why in some cases, control is good. Still, I think you’ll be fine. You come from a family of strong women, your mother especially.’

Heidi followed Kim’s gaze to where Betty was sitting.

‘So what do you think about this thing with Cara? What happens next?’ There was no denying that Heidi still felt as if her world had been rocked.

‘I don’t think it changes anything, not really,’ Kim replied.

‘I guess . . . I guess I always wondered why Mum and Dad preferred her so much over me,’ she said, before she could think too much about it. ‘Now I know.’

Kim looked at Heidi as if seeing her for the first time. ‘I don’t think parents favour any one child over the other,’ she began, but then paused as if realising something. ‘Although, I guess we instinctively react to the one who might need us that bit more.’

‘You think that’s all it is?’ Heidi asked, slightly amazed at herself for confiding her feelings about this to anyone, least of all Kim.

‘Absolutely. You’ll see, when you have your own.’

Heidi sighed afresh. ‘This family is totally messed up now.’

‘Not really,’ Kim said. ‘We are all family, Heidi. And this stuff with Cara and Danielle and your parents – it doesn’t change that. There’s a lot more to sisterhood than biology.’

‘But we can’t go on as if nothing happened,’ Heidi replied, trying to get her head around what Kim was saying.

‘No, I suppose not. But maybe it means that all of us talk more, and become closer. Family is family, you can’t change that, no matter how hard you try. If anything, maybe this brings Danielle back closer to the rest of us. Maybe it’ll mean a new beginning.’

Heidi thought about it all, but still wasn’t so sure. ‘Kim,’ she said, shaking her head, ‘you always did have an interesting way of looking at things.’

On the other side of the room, Shane wrapped his arms around Cara as she cried out all of her shock and frustration. He was completely unsure of what to say. After all, what was the proper protocol for handling a situation where your fiancée finds out that her older sister is actually her mother?

‘I just don’t know how to go on from this, Shane. I feel so betrayed.’

‘I know honey. I . . . I just don’t know what to say. I don’t have an answer.’

‘They all lied to me. My entire life.’

‘Cara, let’s think of it this way. They lied to give you a good life.’

She moved back and stared up at him, her cheeks tear-stained. ‘How do you mean?’

‘Well,’ he said hesitantly. What
did
he mean?
‘Your sister, I mean your – I mean Danielle – was just a teenager when you were born. Think of how different your life would have been if you had been raised by anyone other than your mum. Your real mum, not Danielle. Danielle might be biological but that doesn’t mean she’s your mother.’

‘But it’s so weird. And Conor too – it’s just so . . . sick . . .’

‘I’ll give you that. And I have no idea how you must be feeling about it all.’

‘I feel like everything has changed; how can I just go on with everyday life? Maybe we should call this wedding off . . .’

‘No, you are still you. You are the same person, irrespective of what’s just happened. You are Cara, the woman I am going to make my wife the moment that this bloody hurricane passes over us.’

‘You mean the one in here, or the one outside?’ she said, smiling a little.

‘I mean it Cara, we will get through this. You and me. Because we are a team.’

She shook her head sadly. ‘Why would you want someone with so many issues?’

Shane laughed. ‘Last time I checked, it wasn’t you with the issues, it was everyone else.’

‘I don’t even know what to call them any more. I mean my mum is my grandmother and my dad—’

Shane shook his head. ‘No she’s not. Betty is your mum and you would be doing her a disservice by considering her to be anything else. She raised you, she made you who you are, helped you become the woman you are, the woman I fell in love with. She did the right thing. And Danielle, she is still your sister. She wasn’t ready to be a mother, and it takes a brave woman to admit that. Conor might have called her selfish, but really what she did was anything but. She gave you a future, allowed you to be raised by a woman who had your best interests at heart.’

Cara took a deep breath and considered his words. Of course, he had a point, but then again, there was another loose end in all this.

‘And what about Conor?’ she asked. She hated thinking about what he must be going through now.

‘I think that you and Conor will work it out. You have always been good friends, and maybe it’s just fate that you started working for him when you did and developed that great relationship you have. Maybe this was all meant to be. Fate might have a cruel sense of humour, downright sadistic if you think about it really, but maybe she thought that having this all out in the open was better for everyone involved. No more secrets, remember?’ he smiled, and she recalled their own vow to not keep anything from each other.

‘And you still want to marry me, after all this?’ She looked at him doubtfully. She wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to run for the hills.

‘Not a doubt in my mind.’

‘Not even when considering the thousands we are going to have to spend on therapy for me after we get back home?’ she said archly.

Shane smiled and pulled her into his arms and Cara rested her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating; steady, constant, unwavering. A constant. That was what she needed in her life.

She sighed. ‘You know Shane, you really are the whole package.’

‘Only when I’m with you, honey. Only when I’m with you.’

They both stood still, content in their embrace, feeling as if at that moment they were the only two that mattered, that existed. The rest of the craziness could just bugger off.

Then a tentative voice interrupted them.

‘Excuse me? Cara, is it possible for you and me to have a little chat?’

It was Conor. He wanted to talk. To his daughter.

‘I’ll be over there if you need me,’ Shane said encouragingly. He gave Conor a brief pat on the shoulder as he moved away.

Cara shifted from one foot to the other. To say that she was uncomfortable with this situation would have been a gross understatement. She could barely meet the eyes of the person, the man, who had, only moments previously, been her good friend and boss.

‘So, um,’ Conor said, fumbling for words. ‘I suppose we need to talk, eh?’

‘I suppose.’

‘So it’s been quite a day.’

‘You think?’

He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. ‘Look Cara, I knew nothing about this, not at all. If you think I did—’

‘No Conor, really, I know you didn’t, you’re not that good an actor.’ She couldn’t help it; she smiled. ‘What I don’t understand is, I don’t know how you didn’t know – or make the connection – that Danielle and I were related.’

He shrugged. ‘Well of course I knew you had an older sister who lived in America. But back then I didn’t know anything about Danielle’s family background, and she went by Danni at the time. Anyway it was all so long ago, a lifetime ago, and I guess I tried to forget about her by the time I came back from London, so maybe that’s why the penny never dropped.’

‘And you loved her.’ It was less of a question and more of a statement.

Conor nodded. ‘I did. We were both very, very young, Cara. Danni was very spirited, your mother was right there. I mean, Betty – the one who raised you, um . . .’

‘Go on,’ encouraged Cara. She didn’t want to think about logistics at that moment.

‘Well, she and her mother fought a lot, I remember that much. She was always sneaking out, heading my way. I was quite mad for her really. She was such a free spirit, she just did whatever she wanted. She was so full of excitement and adventure. All the guys I hung around with were in love with her. She was like oxygen. And then suddenly, she was gone from my life. Now I know why. I remember hearing from around that she’d moved to the city, and then not long after that I myself went to London so . . .’

‘And what about now? Do you still have feelings for her?’

‘Being honest Cara, it was a lifetime ago and we were just kids. Yes, I was crazy about her back then, but we’re two completely different people now.’

Cara nodded, understanding. ‘I’m not sure how to think of you right now,’ she offered, wondering about his thoughts on the subject.

He sighed. ‘Truth be told, I’m in the same boat.’

She bit her lip, construing his words to mean that he probably wanted out of here as fast as possible, and away from her.