The Guardian (18 page)

“Nothing,” Becke replies. “They just don’t like Mr. Abernathy.”

“You mean, Mr. Creepy,” Jonah interjects with a frown.

“The teacher?” Derry unconsciously runs his right hand over his left forearm inquiring, “How bad could he be?”

The way he touches his left arm is a dead giveaway he’s picking up on our anxiety. And I’m the only one who realizes, who’s seen all the shiny, round scars from where his mom’s boyfriend used his arm to put out cigarettes. Derry was still in diapers then, but those were the good days, back before his mom abandoned him to the boyfriend’s care. Before the boyfriend put his young, malnourished charge in the hospital with injuries so severe they needed to put the kindergartener in a drug induced coma for nearly four months of his life.

All this flashes through my mind as Becke elaborates with a shake of her head. “He’s not a
bad
teacher. He’s won all kinds of awards, and in his spare time he coaches Special Olympics. I mean, everyone likes him.”

Darkly Jonah mumbles, “Especially the girls.”

With a small huff, Becke chides playfully, “I think you boys are just jealous.”

Behind his girlfriend’s back, Jonah shoots Gabriel and me a look of significance. Clearly he knows Mr. Creepy’s so much more evil than that—and he knows that we know.

Looping his arm around Becke’s shoulders, Jonah says tightly, “Just sit by us, Derrick, and you’ll be fine.” I wonder exactly what Jonah knows, what he sees. Although now’s not the time, I file the questions away for later.

Mr. Creepy’s watching as we walk into his class. He notices Derry’s arm linked in mine and something in his dark, cold halo stirs, slithering across his torso like a slimy tentacle. I feel Gabriel’s hand against my back as Mr. Creepy’s eyes turn into small slits, his lips thinning into a disapproving, gray slash.

Halfway across the room, Derry lets me go to present our teacher with his transfer slip. As he turns to rejoin our little group, Mr. Creepy raises his head with a smirk. “Wait, please, Mr.—uh—Williams.” 

Obediently, Derry turns back around, but I don’t miss how his right arm curls over his left. His eyes flash on mine, a shared look of trepidation passing briefly between us.

“Sit here, please. Mr. Williams.” He indicates the far left seat of the front row, which is empty except for  a swooning Kendra Douglas.

“But I was gonna sit with my friends—”

Mr. Creepy’s attempt at a fatherly façade falls terribly short. “My class, my rules, Mr. Williams. Based on your previous English grades, I have concerns you could get too distracted sitting in the back of the room.” He walks nonchalantly around his desk. “I find underachievers like you do better when sitting in the first row.”

“But—”

As Mr. Creepy sits pretending to review lesson plans, his halo begins to squirm around him in a frenzied motion. “Of course, your friends are more than welcome to come up and join you. Becke? Alexia?” He holds my eyes and I see the victory he believes he’s won. My stomach lurches, but I’m nowhere close to incapacitated like in those first few days. I wonder if my subdued reaction is a direct result of Gabriel’s angelic presence or more due to the lack of fear having a protector brings.

As I meet Derry’s hopeful eyes, Gabriel’s grip on my arm tightens. I glance from my best friend to my boyfriend. Gabriel’s impassive face is severe as he gives me a nearly imperceptible shake of his head.
No.

Mouthing “I’m sorry,” I slowly pull away and walk toward the front of the class. When Gabriel tries to follow, Mr. Creepy intervenes without looking up.

“Mr. Kustosz, you may remain in your regular seat.”

Gabriel doesn’t back away. He just glares at Mr. Creepy, a determined set to his jaw. His halo’s so glorious I resist the urge to shield my eyes.

Standing directly between Gabriel and Mr. Creepy, light and darkness, I feel the clash of power unleashed by their confrontation. And I feel like a helpless pawn, a casualty of their invisible battle. Frozen. Until Derry, tugging gently at my arm, frees me from my momentary paralysis, and we slip silently into our new seats.

Still feigning disinterest, Mr. Creepy drawls in a bored tone, “
Now
Mr. Kustosz. Or do I need to kick you out of my class?”

Seeming to consider this newest option, Gabriel’s eyes dart to me before reacting. Rigidly taking his third row seat near Jonah and Becke, he continues to stare in defiance. I try to catch his gaze, to mutely apologize, but he stays stubbornly fixated on our teacher.

Mr. Creepy, however, continues to ignore him. Instead, he turns his feverish scrutiny toward me. About two-thirds of the way through his lesson he begins to pace, circling around the first row. When he gets to me, he stops, but his ink-like halo continues to writhe. He spends the rest of the period hovering over me.

Lingering.

When the bell rings, Jonah slips out with Becke while both Derry and Gabriel come for me at once. Working in tandem, they usher me into the hallway. I can feel the rage rolling off them in waves of testosterone.

Derry’s dark brows are creased into a sharp ‘v’ and his fingers painfully dig into my forearms as he demands, “What’s with that guy?” Looking into his eyes, I can tell he sees Mr. Creepy for what he really is—but how?

Placing a rough hand against my cheek, Gabriel pulls my attention away from Derry. “Are you okay, Alex?”

Meekly I nod, losing myself in the anguish of my guardian angel’s eyes. “I think so.” Then, wanting privacy, I turn to Derry. “Have you got P.E. next?” I ask tentatively.

He’s still angry. The taut muscles of his neck twitch and his lower lip juts out petulantly as he answers. “No. Biology.”

Becke picks up on my unspoken need and chimes in. “I’ve got Biology too. Would you like to walk with us?” Reluctantly, Derry nods. With one final glance at me, he lets Becke and Jonah lead him away.

Before they disappear around the corner, I call out, “Let’s meet up after school. Out front, okay?” By then Derry’s gone, but his upturned thumb shoots back into view indicating his agreement.

Taking hold of Gabriel, I smile reassuringly before leading him in the other direction. “Back to your question—it wasn’t as bad as the first few days. Did you have something to do with that?”

“Maybe. But you did too. You’re stronger than you think.”

His face remains stoic, hard and detached, but still heartbreakingly beautiful. Pulling him into an alcove, I ask, “Are you mad at me for sitting with Derry?”

I see the surprise in his cerulean eyes as he chokes out, “No!”

“Well—are you jealous of him, then?”

“Of course not!”

“Good! Because Derry’s important to me.”

“I understand. Probably even better than you do.” With a sigh, he rakes his fingers through his hair, “It’s just—”

“What?”

“I was going crazy back there! I couldn’t protect you, not the way I wanted to.” He drags me into his arms, squeezing me against his chest so hard it hurts. After a second, his hold relaxes until there’s no longer any pain. Surrounded by his body, I’m enveloped in his warmth and his calming, outdoorsy scent.

Gabriel’s voice is low and gravelly, close against my ear. “All I want to do is keep you safe but in class today, with that—that—
monster
leering at you, I felt so helpless. I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so sorry.”

Shaken by his outburst, his lack of composure, my hands wriggle free of his grip to wrap around his neck. “Shhh,” I croon, burying my nose into his fragrant skin at the base of his throat. “It was my choice
but
I never would’ve had the strength to make it if you weren’t there. Besides if I was really in danger, nothing could’ve stopped you.” I know this to be true with all my heart, but feeling his head nod against my hair emboldens me to continue. “
You
are keeping me safe, and sane, helping me to grow strong. And I love you for that.”

As we cling to one another it slips from my mouth unbidden and unplanned—the closest I’ve come to a confession of my feelings—said aloud. Breathlessly, I wait for his response.

After a second, Gabriel pulls back, composed once again. Tucking a rogue strand of hair behind my ear, he smiles down at me, the expression in the depths of his eyes unfathomable. “We should get to class.”

It’s as if he hasn’t even heard me.

After school, Derry’s waiting outside. Gawking at him, I can still hardly believe he’s here. Arms wrapped around his thin frame to ward off the chill, his too-small jacket seems insufficient for winter. The cold wind whips about his ill-fitting clothes, and his buzzed head desperately needs a hat. But with kids like us, when your chief concern is survival, food and safety, clothing never ranks all that high.

Moving toward him with Gabriel at my side, I’m overly conscious of my new downy coat, my expensive fuzzy boots, and realize with a stab of guilt, I’m no longer that kind of kid. Longingly, I wish with all my heart Derry wasn’t either.

When we get close enough to be heard over the wind, Derry raises his eyebrows at me mockingly. “Does Gabe go everywhere with you? And doesn’t the lack of privacy create complications in the bathroom?”

Mirroring his expression, I retort, “We walk to and from school together. Do you have a problem with it?”

“Seems like you two do everything together.” Although his tone’s flippant, I see a flash of something raw move across the surface of his eyes.

Holding on to the knowledge that our reunion isn’t what Derry envisioned and
a lot
of change for a kid like him to process, I try to be patient. “Look, I know this isn’t quite what you expected, but you’re still my best friend. Gabriel doesn’t change that—nothing can change that—except you.”

Staring at him in an unspoken challenge, I feel Derry search for the truth in my eyes, my soul. Finally he looks down at his shabby Converse sneakers, wiggling his toes under the fraying green fabric of the cloth, and mumbles, “I’m sorry, Lexi. I guess I’m just not used to you having a boyfriend.” Apologetically he meets my unflinching gaze. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t get used to it.”

His big puppy dog eyes twist my heart, and I’m reluctant to let him walk away. “Can you come over?”

Clearly pleased with my invite, he shrugs, kicking at the concrete with a worn, faded shoe. “I’d like to—but I can’t. Maybe another time.”

“Tomorrow?”

Trying unsuccessfully to cover his pained expression with a smile, he shrugs. “How about we just take it day by day. I’m still getting adjusted.”

Although Derry’s response disappoints me, I understand how tenuous a foster family can be, especially one with lots of kids. He needs to prove something to them before he can earn privileges. That’s pretty typical for kids in the system. I give him my most understanding smile. “Sure thing. At least, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Then he pats my head, something he wouldn’t have dared try when we were the same height, and chuckles. “Not if I see you first.”

The joke’s old and obvious and so typical Derry that I launch myself at him, single-mindedly squeezing him until he’s begging for me to let go so he won’t be late in getting home. As we walk away from one another and the promise of tomorrow fills me, my head spins with the richness of my new life; friends, family, loved ones, and my Guardian. A contented joy bubbles up, filling my heart to overflowing and I realize this  incredibly amazing and totally foreign emotion I’m feeling is—happiness.

CHAPTER 10

The weeks between Derry’s unexpected arrival and Christmas break fly by without any surprises. He and Jonah discover their mutual love of all things sci-fi, which pretty much dominates our lunchtime conversations. I remain with him in the front row of English class, while Gabriel, my Seraph boyfriend with boundaries, resigns himself to guarding me from two rows back. Despite the increased activity in Mr. Creepy’s halo, he goes back to ignoring us. And no matter what I try, I’m unable to get my best friend to see me outside of school.

During the last day of school before our three-week-long holiday break, I decide I’m not content to merely wait until Derry’s earned privileges with the Eccles. Walking into the bracing wintery afternoon with Gabriel at my side, I focus on Derry. Dressed in his thin, too-small jacket and hole-riddled Converse, he hunches against the cruel winter wind as he eagerly waves to me. And I prepare myself for confrontation.

Slowing to a halt, I turn to Gabriel, “I need a minute with Derry alone, okay?” There’s never any doubt in my mind that he understands as he nods and turns back the way we’ve just come. Closing the distance to where Derry waits, I try to form what I want to say.

Hands shoved in his pockets, his stubbly head tucked against the cold, Derry asks, “Where’d Gabe go? Siberia?”

“Forgot something at his locker.” 

Before I can think of something to fill the pause, Derry interjects, “Why are you with that guy, anyway?”

This is not a subject I want to go into. Not a subject with straightforward answers, like math or science. Looking away, as the bleak sky begins to flurry, I say, “It’s complicated.”

“In other words, you think I’m too dense to understand.” Before I can deny his accusation he adds, “Or maybe our friendship is riddled with secrets. Is our friendship Swiss cheese?”