The Green (18 page)

“That was it? She kissed you.” Maybe it
didn’t sound so bad. He didn’t say he was in love with her and he
didn’t say he was running off with her.

“I know. I totally feel bad about it, but I
promise you, I didn’t enjoy it. She tasted like vodka,” he
snickered. He looked at me and I wasn’t smiling. “Okay, sorry, it’s
too soon.”

“So your saying it’s her I should be mad at?”
I asked.

“I think she probably won’t even remember it.
She only appeared to be ten percent conscious. I haven’t talked to
her or anything, so I’m not sure. Come on, Ari, we’ve got a good
thing going. I don’t want this to ruin it. I…I love you. You have
to trust me.” He held out his cell phone. “We can even call Gina if
you want. She can back up the story.”

I could see it in his eyes that he was
telling me the truth. Did he just say he loved me?! That was HUGE!
But then I felt awful. I had kissed someone too. On purpose. Oh
god, this could ruin everything. But if we were coming clean, I
might as well put this one out there. If I didn’t tell him about
this now there would never be another time.

“I have to tell you something.” He moved over
to the bed and sat down, taking my hand.

“Anything babe. Can I say, I’m also just so
glad you’re okay? I was really worried. I’ve been freaking out
since I got the phone call. Well, really since I heard you left the
party. But a ton after the phone call.”

“Wait, the phone call? Who called you?” I
asked, confused.

“All right, I’ll tell you the rest, but after
that I want to hear what happened to you, and whatever this is you
want to tell me, okay?” He caressed my face with his hand.

“Okay,” I agreed, not entirely unhappy to
have a little more time until I had to ‘fess up.

“So after we got Naomi in bed, I went looking
for you, so I could tell you what happened. Of course I ran into
Claire first and she was all like ‘way to go, back with Naomi,
huh?’ I was totally confused until she mentioned that they could
all see us in the loft. She said you looked really upset, but
didn’t know where you went. Then I ran into Joe, this guy I used to
play ball with in grade school and he said he thought you were sick
because he heard you throwing up in the bathroom.”

I put my hand to my face, embarrassed that he
knew I’d thrown up.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “It happens. After
that I checked the driveway and your car was gone, so I figured you
saw us and took off.”

“That’s exactly what happened,” I said,
closing my eyes and leaning back into the pillows. This was so
icky.

“I think I called your cell phone like ten
times and sent you a bunch of messages. I even drove over to your
apartment and knocked, but no one was there. I sat out and waited
for a bit, but when you never came, I gave up and went home. I
slept in the next day pretty late, and when I woke up there was a
message on my phone from you, only it wasn’t from you. It was from
a police detective who was trying to reach your mom. When I called
back he told me what happened and where you were.”

“You did all that for me?” I threw my arms
around him, forgetting how much it would actually hurt. “Ow! Ow!
Ow!” I moaned, grabbing my chest and leaning back.

“Whoa there, take it easy baby. What can I
do? Do you need anything?” He rubbed my hand.

“No, no.” My voice felt weak again.

“If you’re impressed by that, you should know
that I called the hospital on New Year’s Day, but they told me I
couldn’t see you. I was going crazy. I came in the next day and
hung out for a bit, see I brought you those balloons.” He pointed
to a balloon bouquet in the corner. “You were asleep the whole time
I was here and I had to get home because we had a game. But since
today was Sunday, I figured I would come and sit here all day if I
had to because I just had to see you.”

He did all that for me? I was so not worthy.
Well, here goes nothing. Only honesty could save me now.

“Okay, it’s my turn now,” I said, holding
tight to his hand. I hoped he wouldn’t get up and leave after I
told him.

“I’m listening,” he said.

“When I left the party, I was sure you were
back together. I mean, Naomi had just broken up with someone. I was
worried I was the rebound girl. I just figured that meant we were
through. So I went to this party with my brother’s friend and I
kissed him. I kissed him because I had nobody. I thought I’d lost
my boyfriend and best friend in one night. It…it was so
overwhelming. That’s why I threw up. The thought that I was losing
you, that we were over, it made me physically ill. And then I just
went crazy. The party was such a bad idea. I had no idea it would
end like this.” I pointed to my chest. “And my brother, I…you
heard…”

“I did. I’m so sorry.”

I looked up at him. He pushed my hair back
and tucked it behind my ear. His eyes filled with tears as he
looked at me, which of course meant I started crying again too. How
could I look at him crying and not cry?

“Do you hate me?” I whispered, clutching his
hand so hard because I refused to let him go until I knew he wasn’t
going to leave me.

“No, Ari, I could never hate you. I can’t
believe I almost lost you. This will definitely go down as the
worst New Year’s Eve ever. I just wish none of this had ever
happened. This is all my fault. If I would have steered clear of
Naomi or caught you before you left there, it would have been no
big deal. I understand why you did what you did.” He looked down at
our hands. “You don’t like this other guy, do you?”

“No. You’ve always been the only one for me.
I just hope I didn’t screw this up. I’m so sorry.” I sobbed.

“Don’t be sorry, this isn’t your fault. It’s
all over now and we can just move forward. We’ve got to get you all
healed up. You’re supposed to be going to a dance with me in two
weeks.” He laughed through his tears. It reminded me of a rainbow
coming through the clouds after a violent storm. The storm was
finally over.

Well, almost over. I don’t know if I could
tell him about the drug dealing. But I knew that I was done with
that now. Like James said, it was time to move forward.

He leaned in, careful not to bump me and
lightly kissed me on the lips. Warmth surged through my body,
chasing away the chill that had been lingering. I finally felt
okay.

He leaned back, but didn’t let go of my
hands.

“Now how long do you have to stay in here
exactly?”

“I don’t know. They haven’t told me when I
can go back to school. I don’t want to miss anything. And there is
still the whole thing with my brother. I’m guessing I won’t be in
school this week.”

“Don’t worry, I will get all your work for
you. We can do homework together after practice, if you don’t mind
waiting. And Ari, this thing with your brother, if you need me,
I’ll be there with you.” He squeezed my hand.

I was going to have to bury my brother. The
tears welled fresh again, spilling over.

“I’d really like that,” I whispered.

“So did you see who did it?” he asked,
pointing to my chest.

“No, I was fighting with Nando and it sounded
like fireworks, but it wasn’t. He fell on top of me. I had no idea
what was going on. I feel so awful, if I wasn’t fighting with him,
maybe he wouldn’t have gotten shot, maybe he wouldn’t be dead.” The
tears kept coming, flooding my face.

“Come on, Ari. It’s not your fault at all.
Wait, what were you fighting about?” he asked.

More truths. Why are they always harder to
tell than the lies? Lies slip out, slick and smooth. So easy.
Truths are big and chunky, like giant rocks. Forcing them out is
painful.

“Remember when I came to school and I said I
got hurt helping my brother move?” I asked with a shudder.

“Yeah, I remember that, you were pretty
banged up. Didn’t you fall down the stairs or something?”

“That’s what I told people at school. I told
my mom I fell at cheerleading. Nando did that to me when we got
into a fight. He beat me and bruised my ribs. He choked me so hard
I thought I was going to die.” I looked away, embarrassed for
telling him this. It was so uncomfortable.

“HE did that to you? Oh god, why didn’t you
tell us?” He looked hurt.

“Nando left and I was pretty sure he wasn’t
coming back. I just wanted to forget the whole thing. And my mom,
she always put Nando on such a freaking pedestal, I worried she
would blame me. I couldn’t handle that. So when I saw him that
night, I was really drunk and I just freaked out and started
wailing on him. I wanted him to hurt so bad for what he did. And
then they shot him.”

We were both quiet for a second.

“I’m so sorry Ari.”

“It’s not your fault. Look, my life has never
had this kind of drama in it. I really want to do what you said and
move forward. I want everything to go back to normal. School,
cheerleading, NHS and waiting to hear back from Northwestern. Pizza
at Village and working at the soup kitchen.” I smiled, only it was
genuine for once, not forced. That’s what I really wanted. I was
happy that he would be there with me.

“Sounds good to me.” He leaned in and kissed
me again.

“Ahem, excuse me son, we’re going to have to
ask you to wait in the hallway so Ariceli can be checked by the
doctor,” said a nurse, breezing through the door.

“Sure thing. I’ll be in when you’re done,” he
said, flashing his gorgeous smile.

“I take it he’s your boyfriend?” asked the
nurse, checking the IV bags.

“Yeah,” I answered with a goofy grin still on
my face.

“Looks like a nice kid.”

Dr. Patel pushed the door open and came
straight to the bedside.

“Sorry Ariceli, we’re going to need to check
your wound to see how it’s healing.” He hit the buttons that made
the bed go flat.

I lifted up the gown, where a mass of
bandages covered the area under my right breast, which was
thankfully still covered by the gown. He pulled up the tape and
removed the bandage.

“Looks like it’s healing wonderfully. Your
lung function has appeared to return to normal,” he said, glancing
at the chart and the monitors. “Your biggest problem is going to be
pain. We’ll get you out of here tomorrow, but you’ll need to stay
at home at least this week and rest. No going out, just staying in
bed. We’ll see you next Saturday and then maybe you can head back
to school.”

Great, just in time for finals. I’d have to
spend all week studying.

“Oh, doctor, what about cheerleading?” I
asked.

“We’ll see how you’re doing in a month. You
might be able to suit up then, do some light cheering, but no
flying through the air or anything like that. Let’s just take it
one day at a time.” He chuckled.

“Thanks, doctor,” I said, smiling. I was
going home tomorrow. “Have you seen my mom?”

“She should be back soon. I will let her know
how everything’s going. Not to worry.” Dr. Patel scribbled one last
note on the chart and waved goodbye as he and the nurse headed out
the door.

Tomorrow would be one step towards getting
back to normal. But I worried about my mom and the funeral. How was
she going to manage this?

I checked out of the hospital the next
morning and Mom drove me home. I was actually happy be going back
to the shit hole basement apartment. At least it was home. After
getting into bed and passing out for a few hours, I woke to find a
few guests.

“Hey Ari, you’re looking better already,”
said James as he leaned in to kiss me. “Someone was dying to see
you, so I told her to come along.”

A giant bouquet of cookies entered through
the door and Naomi’s face appeared behind them.

“Ohmygod Ari, look at you! I’m so sorry this
happened! How are you feeling? It’s all over the news by the way,
didn’t James tell you? Everyone at school is talking about it.” She
threw her arms around me and I cringed.

“Yikes, sorry, forgot about the whole bullet
wound and everything,” she said pulling back right away. “How’s all
that going?”

“Healing right up. Still hurts like hell,” I
said, grabbing one of the cookies off the bouquet. “These look
awesome.” Giant cookie daisies. I snapped a petal off one and
popped it in my mouth.

“Oh, by the way, I’ve heard I was quite the
ass on New Year’s Eve. I saw the video on Facebook. I just want to
say I’m super sorry. Gina filled me in on the rest and I already
apologized to James, and I wanted you to know I honestly don’t
remember it at all. I hope we’re cool.” She paused, looking truly
concerned for once. I couldn’t believe she was so serious. She
never usually cared what anyone thought regarding how she acted
before.

“I heard about Claire and the video on
Facebook. You’re not still friends with her, are you?” I asked,
taking another bite of sugary goodness.

“Oh no. It’s on with that bitch. Imma start
without you, but as soon as you’re better, you gotta have my back.
Girl, you got some major street cred going on right now. We’ve got
to use that to our advantage!”

“Right, now everyone thinks I’m a straight up
gangsta or what?” I laughed. “Teeny tiny Ari who gets good grades?
I’m sure they’ll be terrified.”

“All right girl, I gotta get home for dinner,
but I’ll come back and keep you posted on the latest. You got your
cell phone back right?”

I nodded.

“Good, I’ll text you later.” She planted a
big kiss on my cheek and waved as she disappeared out the door.

“Where’s my mom?” I asked James as he pulled
books and notebooks out of his backpack.

“She ran out to pick up a pizza. She asked me
to stay for dinner so you’ve got me till bedtime, if I’m later than
that, the parentals will get grumpy,” he said, piling everything
neatly next to the bed. “I took the liberty of emptying all of your
books and stuff out of your locker. I figured you might need it
all.”