The Greatness Guide: One of the World's Most Successful Coaches Shares His Secrets for Personal and Business Mastery (15 page)

M
EASUREMENT
.
One of our corporate clients is El Al, Israel’s national airline. We did some leadership training for its management team. Amos Shapiro, the CEO who ran the airline, offered me a tour of Tel Aviv’s spectacular airport when I was last there. In one of the meeting rooms used by his staff, a statement appeared on a crumpled piece of paper stuck to a wall: “What gets measured gets improved.” Big thought. Setting goals gives you something to measure. If your physical goal is
to get down to 12% body fat, you have a standard against which to measure your progress. And as you measure, you have a basis on which to improve. With a clearer awareness of your goals you can make better choices. With better choices, you will see better results.

A
LIGNMENT
.
I’ll share one of my best “secrets of success” with you: Ensure your daily actions are aligned with your deepest values. Let me put it another way: There can be no happiness if your commitments are not congruent with your convictions. Isn’t that what integrity is all about, ensuring that your schedule reflects your values and what you stand for? Setting clear goals that are aligned with your most important values is a superb way to get to personal greatness.

I
NSPIRATION
.
Goals breathe life into your days. The very act of articulating your goals on a crisp white piece of paper causes you to step into a whole new possibility for what your life can become. Setting your goals is a statement that you refuse to be ordinary. Setting your goals is a bold play for your best life. Setting your goals is an act of heroism because you are reaching for the potential that has been invested in you.
As
Mark Twain noted: “If everyone was satisfied with themselves there would be no heroes.”

Big idea: the very thing you most want to see more of in your life is the very thing you need to give away.

Want more credit for all you do and who you are? Be the one who gives credit to others. Spread it like wildfire. Give away what you most want. This will create a space in the minds and hearts of all those around you to give more credit.

Want more understanding from others? Be more understanding and give that out.

Want more loyalty? Be the most loyal person you know. Watch what happens.

Want more love? Give more love.

I believe life wants you to win. Most people just get in their own way and sabotage their success. They let their fears keep them from greatness. They let their limitations become their
chains. They become their own worst enemies. To get all that life wants for you, apply what I call the Boomerang Effect: Give out what you most want to see come back. It’s a gorgeous life you have in store for you. Just go out and get it.

People do business with people who make them feel good. Human beings are creatures of emotion. We want to be with those who make us feel happy and special and cared for and safe.

There are two people I want to introduce you to: a farmer named Steve and Jake the variety store owner, two people who know more about business-building than most CEOs. Steve sells pumpkins. I live in Canada, and every autumn the kids and I hop into our car and drive half an hour to get our Halloween pumpkins from this farmer who never seems to grow older. Sure we could get our pumpkins from the local grocery store five minutes from our home. But then we’d miss the feelings that Steve generates within us. He remembers our names. He makes us laugh. He tells us stories. He reminds us of what’s best in the world (farmers are good at that). And we drive away with a big batch of pumpkins and joy in our hearts. By the way, Steve’s business is unbelievably successful.

Next comes Jake. Jake runs a variety store. When the kids and I go in, he greets us by name. He knows our birthdays (records them in a little black book). Jake orders magazines like
Dwell, Azure
and
Business 2.0
especially for me (no extra charge, of course). His manners are flawless. He always smiles. He makes
us feel good. There are at least five other corner stores in our neighborhood, but Jake is a master at relationship-building. So he has our loyalty. Oh, and the guy’s a millionaire.

Being good is being wise. It’s a smart business strategy. So be like Steve. Model Jake. Make people feel good about doing business with you. You’ll lead the field. You’ll have fun doing it. And it’s just the right thing to do.

Makes me think of the words etched on a slip of paper one seminar participant handed to me after an event a few months ago that read simply: “Do good and leave behind a virtue that the storm of time can never destroy.” I asked him who authored those words. His reply was brief: “The wisest person I’ve ever known—my grandfather.”

One of the personal habits I’ve consistently observed in the star performers and extraordinary leaders I’ve coached is their commitment to ensuring that their surroundings reflect their devotion to being world class. They drive the highest quality cars, live in the best homes and wear the finest clothes. Their philosophy generally seems to be, “I stand for being the best so it only makes sense that I should invest in the best.” Now here’s the big idea: They held that belief even when they were not successful.

Greatness is, above all else, a state of mind. You need to believe in your potential and power before you can bring them to life. You need to
feel
like you are extraordinary before you can become extraordinary. I call this “emotional blueprinting.” To see spectacular results in your external life, you have to emotionally—viscerally—create a blueprint of your vision within your inner life.

One of the best ways I’ve discovered to achieve this feeling is to ensure that everything you surround yourself with is at the highest level. I remember reading a book years ago, written by a magician named Al Koran, called
Bring Out the Magic in Your Mind.
One of the ideas that stayed with me is his suggestion that,
in order to be successful, it’s important to go where the successful people are. Even if you have only $10, go have a coffee at the best restaurant in your city. His point? Your surroundings shape the way you feel. And the way you feel drives what you do. Feel world class and you’ll behave world class.

Invest in the best. Buy the highest quality goods you can possibly afford. Better to buy one superb pair of shoes than three cheap ones (they’ll last you longer and make you feel great while you are wearing them). I love the line: “Quality is remembered long after price is forgotten.” So true. When I was a young lawyer, just starting out, I took part of my first paycheck and invested it in a great watch. It wasn’t a Rolex or a Cartier. But it was a good one—the best I could afford. My thinking was that it would last for years, make me feel successful while I wore it and actually end up saving me money because it would rarely need repairs. One of my friends, who always looked for the cheapest deal, laughed at me. But I turned out to be right (that does happen to me from time to time). My watch is still working perfectly. Never needed even one repair. My friend has gone through six watches during this time. Not only has he denied himself the positive feelings that high quality would have brought, but he
has actually ended up spending more money than I did. Missed the forest for the trees.

I’m in no way encouraging a senseless addiction to material things. All I’m saying is that if you’re really serious about standing for the best (and I know you are), then surround yourself with the best. Rewarding yourself with good things sends a message to the deepest—and highest—part of you. One that says “I’m worth it—and I deserve it.” One that will inspire you to reach even higher, work even harder and be even better. To anyone who says that our self-worth should be so strong that high-quality goods won’t affect how we feel, I’d respectfully suggest that such a statement misses the reality of human nature. I’m one of the most idealistic people you’ll ever meet. But I’m also a realist (“in all things balance,” observed the Buddha). Every one of us likes nice things. They bring us pleasure. They appeal to our senses, just like a beautiful sunset or a magnificent mountain. True, material possessions don’t bring lasting happiness. And there are many things in life that are far more important. But such things still are important.

The best invest in the best. I might not be popular with you for making this point. But I owe you my truth. Reminds me of the words of one of my clients: “My tastes are simple—I just want the best.”

I’ve spent much of the past twelve months in what I call Strategic Hibernation—pulling back from much of the “busyness” of my life and rethinking things like my priorities, my values and my personal philosophy. I’ve accepted fewer social invitations, limited many activities and spent a lot more time in reflection—just to make certain I’m climbing the right mountain and spending my days in the way they should be spent. I’ve also spent a lot of time this year doing a “Clean Sweep.”

A Clean Sweep is a superb way to streamline, simplify and refocus your life. Most of us have a ton of baggage and clutter that we carry with us on this journey. These might include “messes,” like incomplete relationships or people you have yet to forgive (or apologize to). The baggage in your life could include “undones,” like a will that needs to be prepared or a life insurance policy that should be updated. The clutter could relate to an unkempt yard or a bunch of unpacked boxes stacked in a spare room. The powerful idea is this: When you Clean Sweep these things—put them into order or delete what needs to be eliminated from your life—you will feel lighter, happier and your mind will experience more peace.

My Clean Sweep involved getting a will, getting rid of a lot
of things I hadn’t used for a while, putting a financial plan in place, tidying up my physical spaces, saying goodbye to pursuits that were not aligned with my personal and professional strategic objectives (goals), installing systems to be more efficient and spending a lot of time refining the model of my business. Guess what? It worked—beautifully.

I have more time to do what’s most important. I’m more relaxed and in the flow. I have more energy (messes—whether physical or emotional—drain you). I am more creative. And I’m having more fun. So do a Clean Sweep of your life. And start soon. The results just might astonish you.

I loved the film
Million Dollar Baby.
Deeply moving. Unforgettable. And though it was rich with so many life lessons, there’s one in particular that I still think about: “Protect yourself.”

I believe I’m a world-class optimist. I try to stay incredibly positive. I’m committed to seeing the best in every situation, and the good in every person I meet. I really do expect the best from life. But I also prepare for the worst. That just makes sense to me. Life’s not a fairy tale. I must say that expecting the best but preparing for the worst is not an easy balancing act. But I think it’s an important one for us to work on and get right as we reach for our own unique forms of personal greatness.

So be splendidly loving and kind to people. Definitely. Give of yourself and help all those around you as much as you can. Undoubtedly. Be one of those special people who leaves people better than you found them. But I also suggest that you not become a martyr. The thing about martyrs is that most of them get burned at the stake. Balance being kind and considerate to others with being kind and considerate to yourself. Balance
giving away your energy inspiring others with replenishing your energy so you remain inspired yourself. Strike that delicate balance between loving others and loving yourself.

Set boundaries. Know your limits. Don’t go to extremes. Protect yourself.

Lots of our clients are talking about Thomas Friedman’s book
The Earth Is Flat.
It’s all about globalization and a leveling of the playing field by emerging economies. Excellent book. The title made me think about a totally different topic, though: the value of perspective.

The world isn’t flat—the world is small. Here’s the point I’m trying to offer to you: We live on a small planet in a gigantic universe. Stephen Hawking, the famed physicist, said that we are on a minor planet of a very average star in the outer suburb of one of a hundred billion galaxies. And you and I are just one of billions of people here. Are the problems we face as we walk through our days really so big? A little dose of perspective makes life easier to manage.

A question I sometimes ask myself when I’m facing a struggle is this one: “Will this matter a year from now?” If not, I move on—fast. Another great question I invite you to share with your team at work or your family at home is: “Has someone died here?” If not, things settle down and calmer minds generally prevail.