The Goodbye Girl (Red Market Series Book 2) (15 page)

Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of death

Sleep is like
a horror film on repeat. I cannot stop it and it doesn’t ever end, the sounds and visions that curse me as I slumber are a new constant in my life. Them and the pain caused by my burns have a firm grip on me and will never let loose. I don’t know the truth of what ripped me from my hell tonight, but I woke with a startle and the gut sinking feeling that I had just lost something.
Svetlana.
My heart is hurled off a cliff as I struggle to stretch my stiff body into moving off the bed. Something is wrong with my baby, she’s dying. I am not ready for her to die, I love her too much to say goodbye now. I stop for a minute to accept that thought. I don’t want her to die.

I amble out of the door and look for the shortest way downstairs, I don’t know how long I slept, I have no idea where anyone is in this maze of beds and bodies Mateo has created, but I do know where my baby lies. God help me if I am too late. Why did no one call me, why didn’t they find me? I was looking for Mateo earlier. We need to fix this mess with police and his little blonde obsession. Right this minute though, I am afraid that I might know exactly where to find my psychotic nephew and his sick mind. There is an eerie silence as I enter the small passageway and the beeping of equipment is strangely absent, the tone that should alert me of her life is gone and my heart is slowly breaking open as I stride closer. The door is open, the door shouldn’t be open. Why is her door open? I have the only key. That little fucker.

Noise. The noise sends me off the edge as her hissing sounds meet my ears, his hands wrapped around her little neck, taking her life in his grip. The air escapes her in a madding sound, his whispers of undying love make me into the monster I try to hide, the rage boils and explodes from me in a way I cannot explain. The noises drive me, I am no longer in control as Mateo is hurled from the bed and onto the floor at my feet. My hands are around his neck, throttling him. He splutters and coughs as he tries to pry my hands from his neck. All the while my eyes are glued to her, I scan her chest begging it to move, heave in and out just once so I know I’m not too late to save the love of my life.
The love of my life, the one person I finally fall in love with and she is my child.
Mateo eventually succumbs to the lack of air and collapses below me, my rage nowhere near gone I drag him by his stupid long hair into the next room and lock him in. He wants to act like an animal I will cage him like one. I hit one of the emergency buttons on the wall on my way to try and get help as I pray to the God that I sin against to save her, I will love her and never let her go if saves her just one more time. The doctor who I left her with comes running around the corner and my eyes meet his; he stops dead. He will be fucking dead, but after he fixes this.

“You!” I scream pointing at him, “Fix this! Now!” I am taking giant strides in his direction and he ducks into the room and out of my direct grasp. When I burst through the doorway he is bent over her listening for breath sound and reconnecting her monitors and IV line.

“You let him in here! Are you crazy? I locked you in for a reason.” I am angry as I yell at the man trying to save my baby again. His eyes water as he looks up at me, his head shaking a little. I feel my heart and body separate as I pull out the gun that is always tucked into my pants and aim it at his small head, my hand shakes unsteadily at the loss of my sweet little angel. The angel of my nightmares. She is mine, the only thing I really have and I won’t just give her up. “Try!” I bark at him the gun trained at his face.

“She - she - she’s alive,” he stutters out, swallowing his fear trying to speak loudly as not to anger me further. “But I don’t know if she will ever be right, this poor girl should have died a hundred times over already. I think he was trying to save her in his own way, boss.”

Bang. I blow his narrow mind out, blood splattering over me and her and the white walls and linens. I climb onto the bed and lay next to her, like he would have done with one of his corpse lovers. I hold my baby in my arms and tell her I will love her forever.

My gunshot has
brought people and when I open my teary eyes, Hugo and my fucking mother are standing in the doorway and my recently settled rage returns with a new burst of anger.

“Son, let us go have a talk.” That voice, the devil that makes me lose my mind. So steady like the murder scene doesn’t even affect her in the slightest.

“Vete a la chingada, madre,” I scream at her. I am not ready to let go, I need her to know I love her back. My shame at what I have done has peeled away and been replaced by the overwhelming unconditional love I feel for her; there is still life in her and I am determined to save it.

“You have half an hour to sort this mess and meet me in the office, son. After that I am taking control of the situation that you three idiots have managed to completely fuck up.” Bitter words spill from her mouth, whispering to my mental illness and seeking out the devil in my soul. Turning on her heel, she walks away and I can hear her shoes plodding down the endless passages.

“Where is Mateo?” Hugo asks me, knowing full well this is all because of my nephew. “She wants to see him too.”

“I locked him up next door, leave him in there. I will talk to her first. My nephew needs to learn a fucking lesson. I warned you about your loyalties Hugo. Remember that conversation, because I do. Be careful who you choose to side with in my house.” My threat is clear. He has to choose my mother or me and if he chooses her I will destroy him. I let go of my sweet baby’s body and kiss her cheek softly as I step over the dead doctor. I love her so deeply.

“Go get me another doctor and take him to the furnace room,” I bark at Hugo as he sulks in the doorway, as I point at the man on the floor.

“Do you really love her?” he asks, staring at my daughter's lifeless body where it lies. “I mean, as her father not as a lover.” He clarifies his question and looks at me with genuine concern.

“Yes, I love her Hugo, she is my child.” I love her both ways but I can’t admit that aloud to him, the fact that I dream of feeling her body against mine and lust over her in my daydreams. No, I can’t admit the sin that festers in me, but that's how she feels love so I will never stop as long as she needs it.

“Then I will be with you, but I tell you now, your mother and Mateo are going to try and kill her.” He wipes his brow, and shoves his hands into his pockets. “She already told him to kill her, that he could love her better dead. Madre knows his secrets, she knows he is sick and she will use that against you.” My mother is a whole other sort of monster, calculated, cunning and ruthless. I nod at him, contemplating the best answer as a doctor finally answers his page and comes into the door. He sees his colleague on the floor and I see him start to back step.

“You are in charge of my
daughter
.” His eyes bug out. “Yes, my daughter and unless you would like your brains added to this pretty painting, you will not let anything happen to her or anyone near her. If she dies you die, and I'll fetch the rest of your family for spare parts. Do we understand each other?” He nods furiously, muttering as he starts to check her vital signs. He is Asian so I haven’t a clue what he is saying but his head nods over and over as he combs over her, making sure everything is alright.

It’s time to talk to my mother. I step towards Hugo. His face is tired and a little sad as we leave my child behind.

“Hugo, I am going to need certain things after I am done with my mother.” He looks at me with a small smile that only lifts one side of his face.

“A hooker, ten packets of smokes and a shower. Already set it up upstairs for you. I know you Caesar, I have always known you.” He has watched this many times over, he knows I will be a mad man after listening to her. I shake my head at his slight humor in the midst of this chaos, my child has brought complete and utter destruction into my life. She has torn my world and heart apart. As we enter the office, Mateo is sitting next to Madre with a shit eating grin on his face as she scowls at me. In a second any love I had for the boy is converted to pure unadulterated hatred. He wants to kill her so she will be eternally his. Well I gave him to her once, this time he will have to fight me to the death to get her. Mateo isn’t human, he isn’t like us, his feelings are warped and distorted and he lives for death. Well, I live for her now.

“Son, sit down.” My mother motions for the open chair and then glares at Hugo to disappear, this is family and has nothing to do with him. “Now, let’s have chat about this girl that has you two acting like a pack of dogs when the neighborhood bitch is in heat.” She is too calm. She is up to something and I am afraid of what that could be. “Mateo and I were just talking about how smoothly things are going here and how much he has managed to increase the turn around here.” Oh, you mean his dolly collecting. I glare at him, silly boy. “I want him to stay on here and you can come home, continue to heal and run our head office as you were meant to.” Oh, they have it all planned out don’t they?

“I won’t leave my child behind, Madre. She is my daughter.” She tsks and my blood starts to boil. Her voice sets the demon loose and I do all I can to stay still in that chair.

“You gave her to Mateo; he said you left her for him to care for. Him and I agree the girl is a problem that we need to remove from all of our lives, son.” Remove, is she serious? I stand, sending the chair clattering backwards.

“She is my child and I will kill you both before you kill her!” I scream at the top of my lungs, my hands fist and I am losing the battle against the sound of my mother's laughter.

“It’s too late son, where do you think Hugo is? Hmm?” Her vicious smile sends me over the edge of sanity and I take it out on my nephew. In a flash I have grabbed my gun and knocked him out with the butt of it. There is nothing between me and her now, my very own tormentor looks at me and I see a crack in her perfect composure, a second where she fears me.

“For your sake I hope my child is alive Mother, or I will kill you slowly and painfully.” I grab my idiot nephew and drag him behind me back towards her. I shove him in a medical storage room and lock him inside. I will be killing them both and Hugo if she isn’t alive. When I reach the door of the room where I left her, my world ends and my reason to breathe is gone. Svetlana isn’t there; the room is empty and only the blood spatter from earlier remains. The voices and the madness cannot be silenced; no running water or white noise could mute what is blaring inside my head now.

“Go upstairs Caesar,” Hugo says from behind me and I want to listen, but I want to kill him more.