The Goodbye Girl (29 page)

Nick shifted to lean against the van beside her.  Lifting one arm, he slid it around her shoulders and tucked her into his side, which was nice, because his body exuded warmth like a slow burning fire.  Plus it was nice to feel cared for, she had to admit.

“I’ve been a soldier for seventeen years.
  I’ve liked it, the lifestyle, the family.  The Army has been my life since my parents died, and the Army has done well by me.”

“So you must be looking forward to going back.”  The thought had her feeling strangely sad.  D
amn it, it wasn’t like she didn’t know he only had four weeks to go.  He’d already been here for three.  Time went too fast.

“To be honest,” he replied slowly, “I’m not sure how much longer I’ll stay in the Army.”

Surprised, she looked up at him, but it was hard to make out his expression in the dark so she returned her gaze to the bushes in front of her.  “Really?”

“Yeah.  It’s been on my mind for awhile. 
I never really had anywhere to go when I was on leave, I used to just go with a couple of mates to different places for holidays, see other parts of the world.  But the last few years I’ve come here to Whicha with Alex, and it’s been like coming home, you know?”

Bree nodded.  Yeah, she did, it’s why she had set her own roots down in the small town.  Realising he might not be able to clearly see her movement, she replied, “Yes.”

“Each time it’s been harder going back.  I still like the Army, still believe in it, but…”

Patiently
she waited as Nick stared into the darkness.  Or maybe he was scrutinising it, waiting for anything threatening, but he remained relaxed by her side, warm and strong, though there was still an alertness about him.

“I have to decide whether to
resign or leave by the end of the year.”

“And you’re undecided.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you thought what you’ll do if you leave?”

“I’ll set up my own business - general handy-man, repairs, building.  Maybe learn a couple of other trades as well, such as laying down floors, lino and carpet and stuff.  Be a good all-rounder.”

“I can attest to the fact that you’re a good
handyman.”  Resting her head on his shoulder, she glanced up at the sky.  It remained dark, the scent of rain strong in the air.  “And if you decide to remain in the Army?”

“Then I need to start concentrating on furthering my career, getting serious about promotion, going higher up the ladder.  There are
opportunities.”

“So you need to decide which way you want to go.”

“Yep.”  He leaned down to press a kiss on top of her head.  “Any advice?”

“You’re asking me?  Geez, Nick, I don’t think
-”

“It’s important to me.”

“Really?”  Tilting her head back, she looked up to find him watching her.

Could he see her more
clearly in the dark than she could him?  Possibly.  He probably had twenty-twenty vision whereas she’d soon be needing glasses for long distance.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”  She took a deep breath.  “Nick, you need to decide based on what you want.”

He was silent.

“I mean, you need to think about what you give up if you leave the Army - your way of life, your friends, your career options, the orderly life, all those years you put into it.  Then you need to think what you’ll have if you take up civilian life - you’ll pay your own medical bills, get a mortgage, and battle it out in the world of small business.”

“You make it sound so
inviting.”

“Ah, but you also get to make your own daily decisions, have the satisfaction in working with your hands doing what you like, and you’re free to move if you want, to where you want.  You’ll be responsibl
e solely for yourself.”

“Now that sounds
more inviting.”

And she’d get to see him every day.  She wouldn’t have to say goodbye to him when he left.

Almost immediately she scolded herself.  She couldn’t let her own wants influence him, it would be so unfair.  She’d hate it if it was done to her, and no way would she do it to him.  “First and foremost, you need to make this decision for yourself, no one else.  It affects your whole life.  You have to be happy with your decision.”

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could make out more of his face, but she still couldn’t quite read his expression.

“Sometimes decisions depend on a lot of things,” he murmured.  “There are other things that affect life, other considerations.  Other people.”

“Leaving the Army solely because of another person isn’t exactly the answer.  Relationships work, many military men and women are married to civilians. 
Some couples can’t take the separation, others can.  Look at Harly and Alex, she’s happy to wait for him.  They have their separate lives, and the life when they’re together.  They make it work.”

She might not be able to read his expression, but she could feel his gaze sweep over her face.

“And you, Bree?” he asked softly.  “Would you be willing to do that?  To wait for your military husband to come home on leave, then go back after a certain time?”

She didn’t have to think twice.  “I would never ask a man to change for me.  If military life is what he wanted, yes, I’d wait.”

“It’s not easy.  I know that from my married mates and those in relationships.”

She
gave a small laugh.  “Hey, I never chose an easy road, why would I start now?”

His arm around her shoulders squeezed her gently.  “You’re a special woman, Bree Ford.”

“Why, thank you, General.”

A comfortable silence fell between them, though now Bree was thinking that in another month Nick would go back to the A
rmy base and she didn’t know when she’d see him again.  Would he even want to see her again?  Suppose he met some nice girl -
bitch!
- and sent Bree a goodbye letter?  A Dear John letter in reverse. 

That hurt.  Right down deep that pinched, the pain spreading out a little, making her feel just a touch nauseous.

God, girl, get a grip!  Your imagination’s all over the place!  You’ve only known Nick for three weeks, and yes, before that through letters for nine months, but get a grip!

“Keep writing to me,” Nick said.

“Huh?”

“I know I got your goodbye letter, but I don’t want it to be the last.”

She’d never actually thought about it, how dumb was that?  She’d just been living in the moment.  “Okay.”  A rush of pleasure flooded her.  “I’d like that.”

“Email.  Skype me.”

Bree grinned.  “What if the government tracks me?”

“I’ll save you.”

“From the men in black glasses and cars?”

“
Yep.”

“My hero.”

“Yep.”

“Just for that I will risk secret government
scrutiny to email and Skype you.”

“I look forward to it.”  Another press of his lips to the top of her head.

Snuggled against his side, Bree sighed in pleasure.  She had no control over the future but right now she had Nick.  She’d had him for nine months previously, in reality now, and for the foreseeable future.  She’d be content with that and try to push down her stupid fears.  No one knew what the future held, that much she’d learned from her childhood.  She’d never have dreamed in a million years that she’d settle in a small town in a farming community, have two Siamese who were the delight of her life, and a lovely house, but look at her.  And to top it off, she had a hot, protective boyfriend.  She wasn’t going to let idiotic jealousy and uncertainty, both emotions of which she didn’t usually have, destroy her happiness.

Which reminded her…”Guess what?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m buying my house.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  Mr Tinsdale decided
on a price and gave me first option.  Isn’t that awesome?”

“It’s a beautiful old house.  Congratulations, honey.”

“Yeah.”  Happily, she leaned into Nick and stared out at the darkness.

Suddenly remembering why they were there, she straightened
abruptly, lifting the camcorder to view the sky.  “Crap  Almost forgot about the lights.”

Nick was with her every step of the way, never far off as she moved around the van and bushes, keeping her gaze on the skies.
  Nothing.  No probs, there was still time.

Moving back to the van, she opened the sliding door and got in.  “Hot tea, Nick?”

“Thanks.”

“Here.”  She handed it to him.  “I’m going to sit on the bonnet so I can keep an eye on the sky.  If you’re getting too cold, you can wait in here.”

“Yeah,” he said dryly. “Like that’s going to happen.”

Within minutes they were sitting side-by-side on the edge of the van bonnet, her sneakered and his booted feet propped up on the ‘roo bar.  Passing him an apple, she took a sip of tea and a bite of apple.

They sat in contented silence for several minutes.

Nick broke it first.  “Heard about Ted’s cow?”

“What about Ted’s cow?”

“Found it dead beside the road.”

“Mutilated?”  She couldn’t help it.

His elbow nudged her.  “No.  But I think you might be able to
finish the story, alien hunter.”

“Huh.  Funny story, that.”

“I’m sure.”

“You’ve
obviously heard something.”

“I suspect a lot.  Give me a try at the real deal.”

“Cute.”  Bree took another bite of apple. “Well, see, I heard that Ted’s cow was found dead on the road, too.  Had a chat to Ted, a chat to the vet.  Apparently, the cow got out one stormy night not long ago-”

“Three weeks, to
be exact.”

“Well, look who’s aiming for top
of the class.”

“I try.”

“You’re trying all right.”  She elbowed him back lightly.  “So anyway, we kind of put a few things together.  The cow got out, for some weird reason freaked, and it just so happened that my little van was nearby and the cow rammed my driver’s door.  Ergo, it wasn’t an alien that did it.”

“You don’t say.”

She pointed a finger at him.  “An alien very likely scared the cow.”

“Really.”

“Or something spooky did, because there’s no explanation for why the cow went nuts and rammed my door.”  She paused.  “Poor thing.”

“Your door?”

“No.  The cow.  Poor thing.”  She really did feel sorry for it.

“Is Ted making you pay f
or the cow?”

“No. Claiming it on insurance or something.”

“Good.  It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was my door.”

“It was his cow that was running around loose.”

“Ah well.”

“And hitting your van door wouldn’t kill it.”

“True.  I never did ask him what killed it.”

Silence descended again for a short time.

Nick tossed his apple core into the bushes.  “So, your letters.”

“Mmmm?”

“Why did you never put your last name on them?”

“Oh, well, when I first wrote to my secret crush, poor sod, I was under the paranoid influence of my mother who didn’t want anyone to know I was writing to a military man, in case the military got wind of it and tracked us down for hunting the aliens.”

“But you don’t believe that now.”

“Nah, I grew up.  I do believe there are things happening that are kept secret from us, I do believe in aliens and other unexplained things, but Mum and I are pretty small peanuts, too small for anyone to worry about.  Plus, a lot of people have taken photos or video of UFOs, and not one of them has vanished.”  Thoughtfully, she paused.  “That I know of, anyway.”

“But you still only put your first name on the envelopes.”

“Habit, I guess.  Never really thought about it.”

“And no Skype, no photos.”

“I’d get tongue-tied if I Skyped a man I never met.”

Nick looked down at her.  “You?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’ll Skype me, right?”

“Yeah, but I know you.”  Bree tossed her apple core in the opposite direction to where he’d had thrown his.  “That’s different.”

“What about the photo of Angelina Jolie you sent me in lieu of your photo?”

Grinning, she folded her arms on her partially bent knees.  “I thought you’d be thrilled.”

“I had this nagging feeling the whole time that it wasn’t you.”

Bree laughed outright.

“What’s with the photo bit?” Nick persisted.

“I don’t know my soldier boys forever, just a short time.  Sending a photo seems kind of personal.”

“I’d have liked a photo.”

“Oh, sweetie.”  She patted his arm.  “Did Alex have to comfort you when your mean old pen pal wouldn’t send you her photo?”