The Good Girl (11 page)

Nodding in reply, a tame smile spread over my face. He shouldn’t make me smile. He shouldn’t make me happy, but right now, his sarcasm was awakening a small fraction of happiness inside me. Sadly, it was the only time I’d felt that for as long as I could remember. Even if he wanted to throw my shitty life in my face, and even if he wanted to stir up the demons that had eaten me alive for a decade, I appreciated the conversation we were having. It was good to finally release some of the nightmares inside me without lying on a therapist’s couch and shelling out money to the bastard when I was done.

Fuck therapists.

Without a word, he stood up from the table and poured me a small amount of milk in a glass. After a few bites of the toast and gulping down the milk in the glass, my stomach signaled me to stop. I didn’t want to leave the other piece of toast on the plate, but I also didn’t want to throw up the first thing I’d have kept down all day.

When reality set in, the voices that had been quiet slowly crept up on me again. The violent screams caught me off guard and shook the calm that had settled momentarily. I blinked my eyes closed, and only opened them when the touch of his hands disturbed me. I looked up to see Gabriel standing above me, tending to the cuts on my forehead. The voices grew louder and louder. The screaming hurt my head.

However, beneath the chaos, the quiet female voice returned. She was calming. She talked me down.

Eleni, he is helping you. Eleni, his touch is gentle. Eleni, don’t let them win.

I tried to focus on that voice. It helped me, it calmed me, and it gave me the time to let him clean and bandage the cut he caused.

It pissed me off that he hurt me. When I thought about how he caused this fucking bullshit ass cut on my forehead, the rage boiled inside me and I started to pull away from his touch. He tightened his grip in my hair, holding me in place. I winced from the pain and without another thought, I gave up the fight. I needed to get my strength back before I could take him on because I was nowhere near being able to wage a fair fight. He was right about one thing – in this condition, I was weak. Mentally and physically, I didn’t stand a fucking chance.

“Eleni, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me finish cleaning this.” His tone was firm and demanding. I hated it.

“I don’t want your hands on me.” I sassed him back and, in the blink of an eye, his open palm collided with my face. The fucker slapped me – my head spinning around from the force of his strike.

“I won’t tell you again, Eleni. Let me finish cleaning this. I was fucking polite the first time.” He had no remorse for his actions and I could only cup my cheek with my free hand.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper in defeat.

“Don’t let it happen again. I’ll let that slide… for now.”

His tone should have scared me, but it didn’t. I’d given up. The Eleni I’d been for years would have continued to push him. But that new voice was keeping me somewhat in check. I worked on changing the subject as he finished bandaging my head.

“Tell me about your tattoos, Gabriel.”

Chapter Eighteen

~ Gabriel ~

Her question annoyed me the minute the words fell from her mouth.

“There’s nothing to tell. They’re ink – dark black ink that means nothing more than the image they convey. Patterns and designs with no meaning.”

I finished up cleansing her head and placed a small bandage where the glass of the mirror had cut into her skin. The wounds weren’t anything that would scar and, most likely when they were closed, they’d be nothing more than fine red lines within days.

Walking away from her chair, I placed the medical kit on the counter and turned to lean up against it while pinning my eyes to hers. Her lashes fluttered and I watched as she attempted to look away, but was obviously too scared to let me out of her sight.

“Are you feeling better?”

She nodded, her lips thinning when she so obviously tightened her mouth so as not to speak. I still noted rebellion in her mannerisms – there was still the obvious refusal in her glare, the way she held her body to cover what was revealed beneath the pink of her nightgown.

“I’m glad. Food and water can do great things for the body. You should try it more often.” The sarcasm of my words wasn’t lost between us and her eyes narrowed in response. Pushing myself up from the counter, I moved towards the table, my footsteps unhurried in their approach. “I’d like to establish some ground rules, Eleni. Especially now, before I have to force your hand once again. You appear to be listening, a fact which I greatly appreciate.”

When she opened her mouth to respond, I placed a finger lightly over her lips. She shuddered beneath my touch and she sucked in an audible breath.

Kneeling down in front of her, my hands grasped the legs of the chair to turn her in my direction. We were face to face, eye to eye. I couldn’t help but stare at her, silently waiting to see her expression turn to one of defeat rather than stubborn rejection. It took a minute for her to give in; but once she did, I continued.

“I feel that it’s time we discuss what I expect from you. There are two things I want, Eleni: your adoration and your submission. How I gain those things are up to you – they can be forced or they can be given. However, regardless of how I acquire them, please understand that I WILL have what I want.”

Allowing my hand to travel from her lips, I ran the pads of my fingers softly across her cheek, down along her jaw and over her neck. Her body flinched beneath my touch and I stilled my hand in response, allowing my fingers to wrap around the soft skin, placing pressure over her trachea and causing her eyes to grow large from the threat that my hold created.

“I was touching you kindly. When you moved – when you refused me - my touch turned violent, Eleni. Pay attention to that fact. It’s cause and effect - black and white. If you give me what I want – if you please me – I’ll return the same to you. Refusal will only be returned with pain.” Leaning in, I held my face so close, my lips barely brushed against hers. “You have no idea what type of man is staring you in the face. You don’t know my thoughts, my motivations, or my desires – and I promise you, that you don’t want to find out.”

The heat of her quickened breath rolled across my face and I closed my eyes for a second as I absorbed the feel of her against me. Her chest heaved and her skin prickled. I could hear her heartbeat pounding beneath her ribs. She was struggling against herself; her natural inclination to fight battling her understanding that she had to admit defeat. She was in an impossible situation, yet the stubborn girl within her still refused to accept that she’d been placed under a stranger’s control.

“I don’t want to hurt you, not like this. Pain can be a pleasure or a punishment – that’s for you to decide. You’re still sick, Eleni. Physically…mentally…and spiritually. There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t poisoned by your own hatred of yourself. You give yourself away to men, make yourself a slut and for what? To get off? To escape? Or to feel loved?”

“Fuck. You...”

My grip tightened and choked off her words. Her mouth fell open in a desperate attempt to fill her lungs. Wrapping my other hand around her hip, I pushed the fingertips tightly against the nerve endings beneath the sensitive skin. She yelped, her hips bucking back into her seat so hard that the wooden feet scraped against the tile. When she stilled, I released the hold on her neck only enough that she would be able to breathe again.

“Like I said, beautiful, refusal will be met with pain. Do NOT push me. You think you know what I’m capable of already, but I can promise you that you know nothing about the man who is currently holding you in place where you sit. I have nothing to lose in this. If you live – I get what I want. And if you don’t … well … then the shame of a wasted life falls on your shoulders alone. You are the only person who can save yourself in life, Eleni – or in this.”

Allowing my grip to loosen even more, I expected her to pull away, to move quickly so as to avoid my touch. She surprised me when she looked me dead in the eyes and held her body in the position I’d left her, even with the pads of my fingers no longer tracing along the soft silk of her skin.

Replacing my hand on her shoulder, I brushed along the bone, down farther so that I was barely brushing across the top of her breast. My cock jumped in my pants and I inwardly groaned at not being able to rip her from the chair and bend her over the table. Sex and violence belonged together in my mind. Dominance and submission … pleasure and pain. It wasn’t a concept understandable to most, and it wasn’t something the majority of people would consider ideal. But it was the way I lived my life. Opposite sides of the spectrum crashing together to make you feel a small spark of life in the mundane existence and straight and narrow trails that the majority of us traveled on a daily basis.

Moving my hand lower, the swell of her breast met my palm and I inhaled deeply, forcing myself to move slowly while keeping my eyes trained to her and my mouth within inches of the full lips I had the desperate need to bite, suckle and kiss. I barely traced the outline around the side and she shivered in response. Her nipples hardened and her legs trembled when she forced her knees to remain together.

I allowed the tip of my tongue to peek out from between my lips, taking a quick taste of the luscious mouth that was just in front of mine. Desperate bits of breath rolled over the fullness of her lips, begging me to make contact.

A whimper escaped her throat, small and unsure, I could smell the rebellion leave her body, only to be replaced by fear with small hint of lust. Her body responded beautifully – her head swimming in the emotions and hormones that my touch induced. Brushing my tongue lightly across the crease in her lips, I reveled at the salt taste of her skin, the moisture trapped within the crevices of her lips. But what I imagined would be soft, was instead hard and dry - cracked and broken.

I pushed away from her, standing up and turning around to not look upon the body that should be perfection, but was instead destroyed by carelessness and hate.

“Your mouth. Why is your mouth so fucked up?” Turning back in her direction, I stalked forward to grab her by her hair. “What the FUCK have you done to yourself, Eleni?!”

She cried silent tears that escaped her clouded eyes, small rivulets that spoke of her fright and her pain.

“Answer me!”

“I – I don’t …” Her words were broken apart as she spoke. “I don’t know what you want me to fucking say!”

The loud thud against the wall was unexpected and I fell to my knees when her body doubled over and she slid to the floor. I’d tossed her like nothing more than a broken doll – my anger and rage driving me to a point where I no longer controlled my actions.

She’s ugly…inside and out…she made herself ugly to spite you…She’s not alive…end her…

“FUCK!”

My hand hit the wooden chair, sending it crashing in her direction. Her hands went up to brace for the impact and, after pushing the chair away, she placed her hands over her head, curling up into a ball next to the wall where I’d tossed her.

I was on my feet within seconds, moving as if on autopilot. I was losing the small bit of control I had in her presence and the sounds of her cries only stoked the already raging flames. Her feet dragging across the floor again, I’d made it to my bedroom with her hair fisted in my hand without even realizing where I was taking her. She didn’t speak or scream, and she stepped quickly in an attempt to match my pace. When I pulled her through the doorway, and when her eyes found the large bed in the center of the room, she resisted. My fist closed even tighter in response to her struggle.

Despite what she thought of my intentions, I didn’t drag her to the bed. I was rock hard in my pants and I had a beast within me begging for release, but I couldn’t fuck her – not now while she was bitter and broken, her body and mind diseased by the illness she’d created in herself.

She continued to struggle all the way to my bathroom where I finally released her, allowing her to fall to the floor, crumbling into the pile of worthless trash that she’d become.

“Get the fuck up. Move to the fucking vanity and sit your piece of shit ass down in the seat.” She hesitated, tears still streaming down her face and I cradled my head in my hands to stop the relentless bullshit.

She doesn’t respect you…she’ll only laugh at you…she doesn’t want you…

“DO IT, NOW!”

My hand came in contact with her face, and her head spun in the direction of the blow. “FUCKING NOW!”

Stumbling to balance her weight, she pushed herself up from the floor. Blood seeped from the split in her lip to mix with the wet streams running from her eyes. When she sat down in the seat, I looked at the reflection in the mirror that sat before her. She watched me, her body trembling as I walked towards her. Flinching as I reached around her, she said nothing when I picked up a hairbrush from the counter.

“Take this.”

“W-what?”

“Don’t ask questions. Take the fucking brush. Do something with that fucking rat nest on top of your head and when you’re done with that, we’ll move on to the next step. Make yourself presentable, Eleni. Make yourself so fucking beautiful that I won’t be able to resist fucking you. It’s either that or the alternative to which I’ve already introduced you.”

I leaned down again, the rage rattling in my chest and seeping out of my pores in pure heat. My voice was a growled whisper – a plea that she could never understand unless she lived with the nightmare of my life. “They won’t shut up, Eleni. Make them shut up. Make yourself so fucking irresistible that they only thing they want to do is devour you with my cock and not with my fucking fist.”

“What the fuck…”

Even though the words were spoken under her breath and not directed at me, I couldn’t hide the irritation that slithered along my spine.

My hand was fisted in her hair and I pulled her head back while wrapping my other hand around her throat. I looked into the wide pools of her eyes and smiled.