The Golden Leopard (47 page)

With all the courage she possessed, Jessica went to the foot of the bed and looked into his eyes. “I, too, want children. But I can have none, none at all, without my husband. Because I can never love another, nor take another to my bed. Not since the first time with you, not any time after. Only you, Duran.” Tears were streaming down her face. Like the waterfall.

Her hands dropped loosely to her sides. She had not thought she could weep, or beg, or lay out her heart upon the anvil for him to strike. But it was so easy. What would she not surrender to him? Nothing.

A great heaviness lifted from her. It was her pride, she thought. And her fear. She was filled with love, airborne with it, light-headed and happy.

“If you will have me,” she said simply.

Forever, it seemed, he looked at her. And then she realized he was leaning forward, straining against his harnesses, trying to hold out his hands. She came around the bed and dropped to her knees at his side, resting her head on the pillow near his arm. After a moment, she felt him stroking her hair.

“I must have you,” he said. “Like Yamaraj, I have given my word, and I shall honor it.”

“The wedding vows?” she murmured.

“Not those. I made no true promises then, because I thought I could not keep them. But the night I left you, I vowed that I would never again lie to you, nor would I leave you.”

“I don’t remember you saying those things.”

“You were asleep at the time. But I think they still count.”

She raised her head, looked over at him. “They needn’t. I’ll not hold you to any promise you regret making.”

He brushed a finger down her wet cheek. “I have many regrets. But falling in love with you has never been, will never be, among them.”

In wonder, she gazed through the mist in her eyes to the softness in his. “I had no idea you loved me. I didn’t expect you could.”

“How could I not? You really don’t know, do you, how splendid you are. The truth is, I was never good enough for you. A jumped-up aristocrat without money, land, reputation, or character. When you came to me in that ballroom and looked me straight in the eye and told me without words that you wanted me, I thought surely I must be dreaming. I think so now.” His smile warmed the space around them. “If you are really here, princess, and really telling me you want me to stay with you, I think you had better kiss me straightaway. Unless I am likely to wake up and find you gone.”

She rose and with care, because he was very much an invalid and would be for a considerable time, sat next to him and leaned forward and kissed him.

“You’re still there,” he said when she leaned back again. “Well, then. I am alive, and forever in love, and not without a dowry and, it seems, not without a wife. There is only one problem.”

No jolt of apprehension. She gazed at him with perfect trust. “I’m afraid to ask.”

“It’s about the children,” he said. “Mind you, I’m willing to try. Eager to try. But I rather doubt I can manage to give you a hundred of them.”

“I see. Disappointing, to be sure, but I think I shall keep you anyway.” He was fighting it, she could tell, but the weariness and pain were unmistakable. “And now, as your physician, I must advise you to rest. Shivaji left something for the pain, if you would like it.”

“No. I have never felt better, in every way that matters. And I want to keep my mind clear, or as clear as it ever gets, so that I can think on what has just happened and think on it again.” His good intentions were overtaken by a yawn.

“Sleep is good for you,” she said. “And I’ll be here when you wake up, with a delicious meal of thin broth and gruel.”

“Evil woman. Oh. There is one more thing we should get straight,” he said through another yawn. “For when we set up house and start making all those children. I’m speaking of pets.”

“You don’t want any?”

“That’s not it. Dogs are fine. Rabbits and ducks and hedgehogs acceptable. Parrots will do and even, if you must, a monkey. But soon as I’ve melted down the one in that box, Jessie, I don’t care to be in company, not ever again, with a cat.”

(Continue Reading for more about the author)

Lynn Kerstan, former college professor, folksinger, professional bridge player, and nun, is the author of sixteen romance novels and four novellas, all set in Regency England.

A five-time RITA Finalist (one win), she is regularly featured on awards lists. Since
Romantic Times
launched its Top Picks feature, every Kerstan novel has been a Top Pick.
The Golden Leopard
and
Heart of the Tiger
were selected by
Library Journal
for its Best Books of the Year list (2002 and 2003), and
Dangerous Passions
was named to Booklist’s Top Ten Romances of 2005 list.

Formerly a teacher of English literature and writing at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. and the University of San Diego, Kerstan now conducts online popular-fiction workshops for writers groups and speaks at conferences. An internet junkie, she blogs about life, books and travel at StoryBoards.com, where her cat’s posts are far more popular than her own.

When not roaming the world, Kerstan lives an exemplary life in Coronado, California, where she plots her stories while riding her boogie board, walking on the beach, and watching Navy SEALs jog by.

Visit Lynn at http://www.lynnkerstan.com.