The Glass Man (21 page)

“I love you,” he whispered. “I will die before I fail you again.” He released me and ran toward the portal door.

It took a second for the effects of his touch to wear off. “What? Wait, where are you going?”

He shouted over his shoulder as he exited the city. “Keep her in the city, Nix, or I will personally kill your ass whether I’m dead or alive.”

25

I paced in my room, cursing to myself.

Nix leaned against the wall opposite the bed. Purple bruises bloomed below his left eye where I’d decked him trying to go after Liam. Gallagher had appeared during our battle and did something to knock me out. He and I would be having a little talk later.

“You knew what Liam would do when you showed him that note.” I stomped past Nix for the hundredth time. “And go put something else on. You look ridiculous in that white tunic.”

His peaceful demeanor and underlying joviality had disappeared, replaced by taut muscles and a creased brow. “I give my oath I will never lie to you,” he said. “Do you believe me?”

I stopped and scowled at him. “I’m not answering shit for you until you admit you did it on purpose.”

“Yes, I gave it to him knowing what he’d do.”

I snatched a hairbrush from the bedside table and hurled it at him. He didn’t flinch when it smacked into the door beside him and fell to the floor by his feet.

“Why?”

“Because he has a better chance of getting Garret back than you do. He knows the city. He can fly. He can suppress a fae’s Light.” Nix took a hesitant step nearer. “You know it was the right thing to do.”

“What I know is that he’ll die right alongside Garret if I don’t do something. So now instead of two hostages, I have to rescue three. Brilliant thinking, Mr. Genius.”

“Not if he succeeds.”

“You don’t get it.” I growled, unsure what to do with the fury swelling in my body—an angry beast about to break free of its cage. “Parthalan is completely bat-shit crazy, and now he’s pissed. Liam … won’t … succeed.” I threw up my hands to punctuate my point.

“My duty is to you. I saw an opportunity, probably the best one we have of fixing this without putting you in danger, and I took it. I won’t apologize for that.”

“Duty.” I spat the word out in a petulant tone. “I don’t want anyone feeling obligated to me.”

Nix stood up straighter. “I’ll take care of you because I want to, and for no other reason. Yes, I was given the privilege to protect you, but I asked for this long ago.”

I angled away from him, crossed my arms. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know, and when this is over, I’ll back off.”

I paused, tried to think clearly and failed.
Liam betrayed me and continues to lie to me, so why does my heart feel like it’s shattering all over again?
I’d tried to contact him using my Sight, but I received images of feathers again. If he’d heard my commands for him to come back, he’d ignored them.

“The ones we love always hurt us the most.” A note of sadness deepened Nix’s voice.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t be hurting so badly.”

I shook my head. “I’m not hurting.”

“You can hide it from some but not from me.”

I uttered a bitter laugh. “I’ve known him for a few days. From what I know of love, it doesn’t happen that fast. It’s just this damn bond screwing with my head. I don’t love or need him, but that doesn’t mean I want him to die.”

Nix strode around to face me and smiled. “Okay.”

A frustrated sound rumbled in my throat. “I’m leaving now.”

“No, you’re not. The fae are arriving. Some won’t make it in time, but you have to greet those that do in two hours.”

“Two—I can’t wait two hours!” I leaned toward him. “Get out of my way, or I’ll move you myself.” A sudden wind ruffled my hair, and a golden sheen covered my skin.

“Don’t do it.” Nix returned to the door and stood in a battle-ready posture. “I’m psychokinetic, you saw what I can do. At the first hint of power, I’ll bind you. I don’t want to hurt you, so please don’t force me to.”

I widened my stance and snickered, a dark, sinister sound. “You can bind my body but not my mind.”

“You won’t hurt me. Gallagher has given me some personal wards to stop you from affecting my will.” His posture changed to mimic mine.

I couldn’t argue with him. I wouldn’t hurt him—badly. Through my feet, I pushed my energy into the floor and used it to send the table hurtling toward him. With a flick of his fingers, it broke into a stack of kindling on the floor around him.

Nix crouched and steadied himself. “You can’t get to me with anything in this room. That puts us at an impasse.”

“Assuming I won’t crush your heart into a gooey pulp.”

Nix chuckled, but uneasiness clouded his stare. “Yes, assuming that. I told you when we met that I could see who you are. I know you won’t do it. You don’t want to be like Parthalan or the humans who tried to do such horrible things to you.” He straightened, placed his hands behind him and leaned against the door. “Brígh will be here with your clothes soon. Why don’t you do something to relax? A bath, maybe?”

I hated that I was so predictable. I needed to leave, but I wouldn’t hurt him to do it. Dawn had risen from the shadows beyond the portal, and the sun would set around six.

So little time.

Parthalan had said the torture would intensify with every hour I delayed. I couldn’t let them suffer two more hours. There had to be a way out. I just had to think it through.

“Why do I need to change?” I resumed pacing.

“Neasa had an entire wardrobe designed for the new queen. New jewelry, too. The Sidhe of the Court are very—flashy.”

“She can shove it. All of it. I’ll go as I am, ready to work.”

Bright laughter burst out of him. “As long as I’m there to see her face when you show up at the Seelie Court in sneakers and a T-shirt.” He shrugged. “You know, I think it’s perfect. No pretence, just show them who you are up front, though you might have difficulty swaying some to see reason dressed that way. To show solidarity, maybe the guards should start wearing jeans and T-shirts, too.”

I stopped again. “Yeah, why don’t you go and change before we have to do this thing?”

He grinned. “No, I’ll hang around. Nice try, though.”

• • •

Nix, along with five other guards, surrounded me where I stood in the main hall. The time had passed painfully, and my nerves were so frayed around the edges I’d begun to unravel, but the fae were finally assembled in the Court. Several hundred were still missing, but we couldn’t wait any longer.

“I can’t wait to see Neasa’s face when we show up like this,” one of the female guards said. She breathed out sexuality the way others expelled carbon dioxide. I hadn’t picked it up when she stood amongst the others, but standing beside me, wearing a snug white T-shirt and black pants, her presence engulfed me. She had strawberry blonde hair woven into two braids that hung down the front of her shoulders.

“Don’t let the lack of uniform allow you to forget your duty, Neve.” Nix gazed back at me. “You’ll do fine.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why’d you say that?”

He leaned in and spoke soft words. “You’re prancing, and you’ve cursed more in the last five minutes than I’ve cursed in my entire life.”

Hell, is it that obvious I’m about to go off like a rocket?
I stared up at the distant ceiling and the curling golden mist beyond. A few deep breaths, and the panic waned. What could I possibly say to inspire the change of a nation? I wasn’t my mother. I didn’t have her kindness or charisma. Nobody did anything for her out of fear. They did it because they couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing someone so utterly good. The fae wouldn’t love me any more than I cared about them. I wouldn’t be able to hide it for long, but somehow I had to make them listen. Then I had to find my brother and my father—and Liam.

I patted a hand over my thumping heart.

“It’s time.” Nix urged me with a hand on my back toward the arched doors.

I licked dry lips, rolled my shoulders and nodded. Neve and another guard opened the doors. Nix walked to my right, and a guard with short red hair stayed at my left. Two more came behind me.

The light in the Court hit me first. The alabaster stone of the towering walls lit up like the sun shining on a sparkling crust of snow. White pillars lined the distant walls, green ivy snaked up the length of them and crawled along the glass ceiling in places.

Blinking, I strode into the room, the echoes of my footsteps subdued by the rubber soles of my sneakers. The silence when we entered grew into hushed conversations, a few gasps and even one “who let this riff raff into our Court?” I noted that one—a tall stick of a woman wearing an ice blue satin pantsuit. She stood with her hands on her miniscule hips. She wore trouble like a designer perfume. I’d have to keep my eye on her.

Similar to the Unseelie Court, miniature daises were stacked in a bowl shape around me, and a large raised dais sat at the front with a gold and jewel-encrusted chair. I shook my head at the absurdity of such a ridiculous throne. Behind it, a brilliant stained glass scene stretched the entire length of the wall, amber and cream glass creating the sky and white glass representing the shifters of Dun Bray. A fae who looked like my mother floated in the sky, her arms spread like an angel watching over her people.
Her people. They will always be her people.
The thoughts snuck in and formed a lump in my throat.
They’ll listen to me, or I’ll make them listen. Somehow I have to make this happen.

When I arrived at the front, I hopped up on the dais and sat with my legs dangling off the edge of it. The shocked faces of the fae in the Court stared at me. One look at Nix, and he, along with the rest of the guards, stood in front of the dais on either side of me.

“Please sit down,” I shouted. It echoed into the room much louder than I had imagined. Everyone jumped.

Neve nudged my leg with her elbow. It took me a second to find Neasa staring at us from the far end of the platform. Her mouth gaped open, her hands half extended as if wishing she could throw a curtain down to conceal us from view. I waved at her.

“The Sidhe of the Court do not sit until the queen has been seated,” the stick woman said. “Where is she? We all have lives you know.”

A terrible grin arranged my lips as I climbed to my feet on top of the dais. “My name is Lila Gray. I told you to sit down, so sit down before your ass finds a chair the hard way.” My good will had lasted only thirty seconds—a new record for me.

Gasps and pitiful cries rippled through the crowd of fussily dressed fae. A guy wearing an honest-to-goodness silver sequined jacket and white pants spoke over the noise. “You can’t be the queen’s child, and no commoner would dare speak to Callandra that way. She is more than a thousand years old, a member of this Court for centuries.”

“What’s your name?” I gave him a hard stare.

“Richard.”

“I don’t care who she is, nor do I have time to coddle a bunch of self absorbed fae. We’re at war in case you missed it. It’s going to take all of us to fight, so no more hiding, for any of you.”

They all shouted obscenities and threw fists in my direction. All with their hair perfectly styled, clothes right off some designer’s shelf—one of the few that remained. Their necks and fingers glittered with enough diamonds I needed sunglasses. I wondered where they’d found all of it. Fae glamour, maybe?

“Queen Arianne was supposed to protect us,” one of them shouted.

“She abandoned us,” said another.

“She left us defenseless,” someone from the top shouted.

“If we hadn’t saved ourselves, nobody else would have.” It went on and on.

I stood there, anger boiling through my guts. Nix must have noticed because he jumped up on the platform and put a controlling hand on my shoulder.

“You look like you just crawled out of the woods, Lila Gray,” Callandra in the blue silk shouted. “I can’t believe you are Arianne’s daughter. Did she teach you nothing of being a lady of the Court?” She turned up her nose. “You are not fit to be queen.”

The truth in her words sent me over the edge.

Gallagher appeared from somewhere on my left. He gazed up at me with an expression I couldn’t read. I assumed it was disappointment.

The booming voices and the weight of my promises to my mother sent me sprinting from the room. I didn’t stop running until I made it to the garden in the heart of the city, sucking wind.

I dropped to my knees, stared into the sky. “I can’t do this! I’ll never be you. I don’t know what to do!”

Tears rained onto my cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me what I was and teach me how to be you if that’s what you wanted of me?” As I gazed into the spirits of my mother’s people, the answer came like a shock through my body. My voice fell to a whisper. “You didn’t want me to be like you.” I stared into my past, learning to survive through hell, its purpose becoming clearer. “You needed a warrior who could stand up to Parthalan, who wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. If I’d grown up here, I’d be like them.”

A moment later, Nix knelt in front of me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sky to meet his gaze.

“That’s right. You’re Lila Gray, a survivor, exactly what this nation needs now, even if they don’t realize it. Not someone to indulge their whims or listen to their nonsense and lead them by the hand to see reason. They need everything you have become, everything that your mother intended you to be. Queen Arianne couldn’t have won this fight, but you can.”

I lowered my focus to him. “So what do I do about them? You know they can’t help me with Parthalan. Taking those fae into battle would be like leading a bunch of sparkly sheep into the wolf’s den and ringing the fucking dinner bell.”

He nodded. His chin quivered as if fighting a grin. “I know. They can’t help you defeat Parthalan, but they can help what’s going on outside that portal and defend this city. Most have useful
cumhachts
. Put them to work to repair the damage he’s done to the humans. Stop them from destroying themselves until we can find a way to rebuild their world. Then you and I will figure out what to do about the Unseelie king. Spell out what you expect of them, and then demand it.” He took my hands in his, settling determined eyes on me. “Use force if necessary.”

My brow crinkled as I extended that thought. “What do you mean by force? I can’t force my will on more than a thousand fae.”
Can I?