The Glass Castle (23 page)

Avery learned at supper that Ilsa had been installed as the new child queen. At first, Avery didn’t care. She hadn’t wanted the title to begin with, but as the reality set in, she couldn’t shake the thought that Tuck had wasted no time replacing her with Ilsa, and something even more ominous:
Now I don’t belong anywhere.

Late that night, after Avery had sneaked some good scraps to Bronte when everyone else was participating in a chess tournament, Tuck summoned her to the dining room along with Kendrick, Kate, and Ilsa.

Tuck paced while Kendrick sat, elbows on the table and hands folded. Avery sat next to Kate, stealing worried glances at her and trying to avoid Ilsa’s self-satisfied smile at all costs.

“I’m sorry,” Avery said, finally breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have left.”

“Save your apologies,” Tuck said without meeting her eyes.

“You shouldn’t have been allowed back either,” Ilsa said. “You know that, right? You’ve jeopardized all of our safety. What if somebody saw you or followed you?”

“But they didn’t.”

“Not true,” Kendrick said, not looking at her. “One of our scouts saw you with Edward on the stairs.”

Avery felt the red creep into her neck. She hated the way he had said that.

She hadn’t anticipated being interrogated by the entire group. Had the scout told Tuck what Edward had said? Had the scout mentioned that Edward had kissed her on the cheek?

She looked at Ilsa with all the pleading she could muster.

You should be grateful I was on the stairs with Edward. I brought him back!

Ilsa didn’t flinch. Her mouth twisted into a bitter smile.

Tuck shook his head and sighed. “You know there must be a public consequence for this. We can’t let other kids think they can just leave the castle or break the rules. Doing so could put us all in jeopardy at any time.” Despite his words, his voice was gentle, and Avery decided his anger would have been easier to take right now than his kindness.

“Fine,” Avery said, eager to end the conversation. “Let me know when you decide what it should be.”

“One more thing,” Kate said, speaking up for the first time. “The old lady has asked me to remind you that leaving this castle jeopardizes the safety of your brother.”

Avery felt her pulse in her neck.

At least I know he’s still alive.

“If you leave again,” Tuck said, “don’t bother coming back.” With those words, he stood and left the dining room.

“Tuck, wait!” Avery ran to the door, but by the time she reached the hallway, he was gone.

Back in the bunk room Avery collapsed on her bed and buried her face in the crook of her arm.

She cried for her family.

She cried for herself.

She cried for Edward.

She cried for Tuck.

She had failed so many people.

When she heard footsteps approach, she assumed Kate had come to sit with her.

“You can have this back. I don’t want it.”

Avery looked up to see Ilsa, the pearl tiara dangling from her fingers. Embarrassed to be caught crying in front of her, Avery pushed herself up and wiped her face. “Why give it back? We both know you’ve wanted it since before I arrived.”

“I won’t be anyone’s consolation prize.” Ilsa tossed the tiara onto the bed. “Anyway, I got what I wanted.”

Avery laughed. “Of course. Seeing me like this.”

“Don’t give yourself so much credit. What I wanted was one more chance to talk to Edward. Now I know he wanted to leave and wasn’t forced to go. He told me you convinced him to speak to me.”

Avery had to let that sink in. So something good
had
come from this horrible day?

“I’m glad he—”

“This doesn’t make us friends,” Ilsa interrupted. “I look forward to seeing whatever price you have to pay for leaving the castle. It was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, which is saying a lot.” And as quickly as she had entered, she was gone.

And Avery knew she had somewhere she needed to go immediately.

Chapter 34

Correspondence Game

Avery stood in the darkened chapel alone.

One by one she lit the candles until the room flickered to life, the light dancing on the gold-gilded walls and illuminating the stained-glass windows. Instead of taking a seat on any of the empty high-back pews, however, she knelt on the crimson carpet in front of the pulpit. She leaned forward until she lay prostrate on the ground, her arms above her head and her face pressed into the carpet. And in the same room where a secession of kings had confidently determined their disbelief in God and vowed never to return to worship, Avery acknowledged her belief.

She asked for wisdom.

She asked for safety.

She
begged
for courage.

And beneath the ceiling where an oppressive mural of the kingdom’s darkest stories had been painted to life, Avery sought the face of God, convinced He could use her at such a time as this.

She had said no to Edward for several reasons, not the least of which was something she had read in her Bible on the day before she left the castle.

God sets up kings and removes them.

Choosing to side against God’s ordained leadership was choosing to side against God.

Avery was shocked to find a parcel under her pillow.

She had assumed Kendrick was just as mad at her as everyone else seemed to be. He hadn’t even looked her direction since she had returned. So this would likely be an angry rant.

Maybe he’s written to take back everything he said. I don’t blame him.

When Avery was certain the girls in the room were fast asleep, she took a candle and a match from the fireplace and sneaked down the hall to the storage room again.

Bronte greeted her as if she had been gone for a month.

She had to fend the dog off as she lit the candle and opened the envelope with fingers trembling.

But before she could spread the page, Bronte began a high-pitched whine that sent a shiver up Avery’s spine. The dog paced near the makeshift dog bed but wouldn’t sit.

“What’s wrong?” Avery whispered.

She carefully placed the candle in a stand and petted Bronte softly, but Bronte still shook and panted. Avery looked around for any sign of rat poison or anything else amiss. Nothing looked out of place. The food scraps and water appeared untouched.

Did Ilsa do something to Bronte? Is this her revenge?

“What’s the matter?” Avery asked, taking Bronte’s face in her hands and looking into the deep, dark eyes that looked like wells of ink. Bronte pulled away, agitated. The thought of her dog being sick terrified her. She couldn’t lose Bronte, too, especially after everything.

Avery slumped against the wall and watched the dog pace. She was tempted to find Kate, Tuck, or Kendrick, but she couldn’t risk their knowing about Bronte, upset as they were with her already.

She would just have to sit and wait.

She retrieved the candle and unfolded the message, steeling herself for whatever she found. To her surprise, it consisted of only two lines:

She had asked herself the same question. The truth was, it was cold outside and she’d had nowhere else to go.

But that wasn’t all, and she knew it.

The truth was that she couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing Tuck. She missed their conversations, his gentle teasing and confident reassurance. She missed the way he looked out for her, especially when she was about to dive into some foolish decision. She needed his confident leadership in her life.

Avery didn’t fully understand her own feelings, but she knew they were real.

And there was something else.

If only for the sake of the other kids, she needed to find the tunnels. They called to her in her dreams. Every night when she slept she worked on their location. She wanted to find them, but not just for the tunnels. What if the underground colonies her mother had talked about were real, too? What if the tunnels were filled with their brothers and sisters?

For now, she would worry only about her beloved Bronte.

Sometime during the wee hours, the old dog fell into what appeared to be a fragile slumber. Avery draped a blanket over her friend, kissed Bronte’s silky head, and tiptoed back to her bed. She couldn’t afford to be discovered missing from her bed in the morning and have people assume she had fled the castle again. Neither could she have them come looking for her, only to discover her dog.

Nor did she want to see her dog die. She wasn’t sure she was strong enough to handle it.

She needed to reconcile with Tuck and tell him first before anyone else learned about Bronte.

Chapter 35

The Misread

With the memory of her hunger in the woods still on her mind, Avery filled her plate at breakfast with meats, potatoes, and sweet breads.

Carefully folding some of the meat in a napkin for Bronte, she was about to dig in when a breathless, excited girl she did not recognize rushed in and announced, “There are dogs in the storage room!”

The room burst into a frenzy of excited conversation.