The Ginger Man (15 page)

"Just get out."

"Am I becoming the hound?"

The lady of the house laughed. Ushered them through the long dark hall and out up the alley of barrels. And drunks lurking in doorways, reeling and pissing. Sebastian told the driver to let them off at the Metal Bridge and that there would be a day coming when he would repay him for his great kindness.

They went up the flat steps. Stopped, watching gulls and swans. Mary took Sebastian's arm.

"It's a lovely view."

"Quite."

"All the seagulls."

"Yes."

"I like to do this sort of thing."

"Do you?"

"Yes. It gives me a nice feeling."

"True."

"As if you were floating or something."

"Yes, floating."

"What's the matter. don't you like it?"

"Love it, Mary."

"You just go on and on and then you get a queer notion and don't say much."

It was the meal at the Grafton Cinema that took my mind i76 away. Because the waitress was so kind. A plate full of fine, fat sausages, lashings of rashers and a mountain of golden chips. I heard the waitress saying down the hatch would they ever hurry up because this fine gentleman was starving. And the tea was so good that I'd giggle with the impossible joy of it all. And a gentle Grafton Street breeze, tempting me to stay alive forever. But I know when to be pushing up the mushrooms, flavorful and frequent And just as I was laying knife to a sausage there was a scream. The pantry curtain flew open. The waitress scurrying out, a white plate breaking on her head, and chased by a steamy faced girl, her hair, congealed tresses scattered round her head. She was yelling that she would commit murder, that she couldn't stand it any more in this hot hole. Crying and telling them all to leave her alone. She went on breaking dishes. And selfishly, I worried for fear she would destroy my sweet I did feel that my supper had been ruined with the indignity that was in it But she calmed down and they gave her five minutes off to be getting this rebellion out of her head. Only for my meal, I was all tenderness for her working skin and the red blotches on her legs. But there must be discipline. However, I'm all for that moment of reverie at time of crackup.

Sebastian leaned on Mary's blunt shoulder, kissing the corner of her mouth as she twisted away.

"Don't do it where everybody can see us. Let's go look in the window of the woolen shop."

They crossed the bridge, holding hands. They looked at the pieces of cloth. Mary said she was saving to have a suit for Spring. She said her father would never let her buy any new clothes and accused her of wanting to wear them to dances.

She told Sebastian she had friends who colored photographs and some of the pictures weren't very nice. Perhaps she would do that soon because her uncle might be able to take her brothers and then she would be free. The only thing she didn't like about living in Phibsboro was that Mountjoy prison. Coming by one day she saw a man hanging between the bars and he had a funny beard and he asked me to bring him some champagne and smoked salmon. I just ran away and it's just the same with that Grangegorman, the lot of them running around in there without a brain in their heads.

They walked along the old torn houses of Dominick Street Mary showed him a house where she lived before they moved up the Cabra Road. Saying it was an awful street with drink and them beating each other to death with bicycle chains. She was frightened out of her wits to go out at night. But in Cabra she walked in the Botanic Gardens and liked to read all the funny names in Latin on the plants, and along the Tolka, a nice river.

"I live here."

They stood in front of a red brick house.

"When can I see you again, Mary?"

"I don't know. Talk quiet and we can go in the hall. We live upstairs."

"You're a nice girl, Mary."

"You tell them all that."

"Let me kiss your hand."

"All right, if you want."

"Lovely green eyes, and black hair."

"You think I'm too fat?"

"Not at all. Are you mad, Mary?"

"Well, I'm going on a diet."

"Let me feel you. O not at all, just makes you ripe. This, just the way you want them."

"O you really are bold."

Her back against the wall, standing in front of her, arms cocked, holding her by the elbows in her plum colored coat. He kissed her and she bent her head back.

"Do you like it, Mary ?"

"I shouldn't tell you that."

"You can tell me."

"But you don't kiss like the rest of them"

"Them?"

"Yes."

"But, Mary, I'm a man of refinement"

"But they don't do that."

"And they're not refined."

"It isn't that."

"I'll give you another one."

She put her arms around his back, tight and tied.

"It isn't the way they do it"

"Do you like it?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I want to take you away."

A noise came through the ceiling. Mary stiffened, holding her head back, listening. She whispered.

"Give me your hand."

She led him to the back of the hall and down two steps behind the stairs. They waited and then she put her hand up into his hair and scratched. Good for dandruff. O the tenor of it in this hall. The safety of it Mary, your mouth and tomato sauce.

"Sebastian is a funny name."

"Venerable."

"What?"

"That's what it means. Deserving of honor and respect"

"You're funny."

"Eeeee and eeeee and eak."

"You're a gas man."

"And you're a great build of girl."

"You're just saying that."

"O you are. Right here. Lovely. And there, too. You're just great all round."

"It isn't safe here."

"Where?"

"We could go in the back. We must be quiet."

Some light at the end of the passage. Passing a line of broken prams, great for transport to the pawn. Could pass by any landlord Must have the wits these days. I'm starved for love. Not ordinary love but real love. The love that's like music or something. Mary's a good strong girl for heavy work. Scrub floors and things. Get her and a house that's a box for the soul. And I'm fed up with the cardboard type. If I got Mary as the maid. Chris as the boarder. Miss Frost as secretary and Marion to run the whole lot, we'd be a great bunch. Then take my proper place in society, suits overhauled and the rest. O there'll be changes made. I won't take any nonsense either, or concede carelessness. At least I have rules. And I know society respects a man for his discipline.

She was holding his hand, leading him. At this early hour in the morning. I must get home. And out of these dung smells. Mary pushed open the half broken door of a shed.

"Mind the bicycles. In here."

"What's that?"

"Coal."

"For the love of Jesus."

"What's the matter?"

"What's this, Mary?"

"A mattress."

The clatter of a falling broom. Mary whispering with fright:

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph."

And Sebastian, to be helpful.

"Pray for us, Blessed Oliver."

"It'll be all right. Would you like a bottle of stout?"

"Mary, I'll love you till your dying day. Where is it?"

Mary reached behind boxes and turf.

"It's the landlord's. He hides it back here for when the pubs shut His wife raises holy murder if he brings it in the house."

"This is good of you, Mary."

"Do you say a lot of things you don't mean?"

"What?"

"What you said"

"What did I say ?"

"When I said I had the stout"

"Come here and sit beside me while I open this bottle"

She came and sat on the mattress beside him, leaning against the wall, watching him with a flourish of wrist, pop the cork. We lay in the remnants of coal And a pile of turf. I happen to know that dogs and cats prefer coal and turf. And I don't relish finding myself sitting in it

"This is peace, Mary"

"It's quiet here"

"I need this, Mary"

"Why?"

"Lot of reasons. Little difficulties here and there. Misunderstanding mostly. A girl like you is a great comfort"

"It's not very clean or nice here"

"Come closer"

"I don't know what to say to you"

"I'm married"

"I know you are"

"I say, Good God, Jude, Joseph and a general variety of the blessed and saintly"

"But I don't care if you are. I don't think I'll ever get married"

"Don't"

"Why?"

"Might marry an Irishman"

"What's the matter with an Irishman?"

"They come home drunk and beat your head off. Jump on your arse every Saturday night and prod you to death with it Other nights too. Pigs. You don't want that Mary."

"I might"

"Far be it, then, for me to give you advice. Get me another bottle of stout."

"You drink fast"

"Got to with the lack of decency around us, Mary."

"What do you do?"

"Read law"

"Outside that?"

"Gardening. Collect stamps, horse brasses. I'm very interested in bird watching. I refuse to gamble. Absolutely refuse to bet on a horse."

Mary's eyes broody. Sebastian leaned over and pressed his lips to her ear. Mary came down on top of him. And I put my hands up under her sweater. These two mountains up out of the sea.

"Mary, would you like to come to England with me?"

"Yes. I'll go anywhere you want me to."

"We'll need a little money."

"I have thirty pounds in the bank."

"That'll do nicely."

"But I'm not sure I can get it out"

"It's in your name?"

"Yes."

"Bob's your rudd."

Dangerfield grunting for she was no lightweight But here was a girl good and strong, not afraid of work, I don't think. Willing to get her shoulder to the wheel. That's the trouble with the world, not enough of these people with shoulders to the wheel, letting others do the work. Kick some of the laziness out of them, out on Sundays, taking senseless rides in the country. It's painful to see them looking for something to do on a day off. I must roll Mary over on her back because lumps of coal are pressing through this mattress into my spine. Whee. Like turning turtle. Over you go. I don't think I'm quite up to this exertion. Circus, clowning, her sweater pulled up. Wow what a wench and puffing heavily. Do my most penetrating thinking just slopping around with someone else's body, penetrating to the root How many more interesting things can be done with thirty pounds than keeping it in the bank. Her breasts are all over her chest I haven't met with nipples like these before. A breast feeder for sure. There is a restaurant in Grafton Street called the Udder Shop served by hefty wenches from the country. Teat lunch a specialty. Stop this deprivation of the breast. Because in my own case I can't get enough of them and even though I am a little tired tonight I'm enjoying playing with this strange pair.

"I've never felt this way before, Sebastian. Purple inside. Do everything to me, all the things. I want you to do everything."

"Easy, Mary. You don't want to have a baby, do you?''

"I don't care. I want everything, all of it."

"Ruin your life."

"I want it anyhow."

"Some other night when I'm prepared."

"I don't want you to use those things anyway. I want it the way it is. Go ahead."

"For Jesus sake, take it easy, Mary. Don't break it off altogether. You don't want to be a fool."

"I'm not a fool, I know what I want."

"Ruin both our lives. These babas want to eat, I can't let you, Mary. Not tonight."

"Please do it to me. I want everything. I've never felt this way before."

"You'll get this way again."

Mary ground her lips down on him. Locking her thighs on his knee, forcing him over on his back and knocking over a bottle of stout. Jesus, Mary, I can't get involved. Don't do this to me. There's enough misunderstanding in my life already without a case of illegitimacy. She's trying to force me to submit. I absolutely refuse to be taken by force. The indignity. She's quite mad. Also without any reserves. Stop at nothing.

"Someone's sure to hear us, Mary"

"Everyone's in bed. I like it."

"Mary!"

"I like it."

"Mary, really"

"You're sweet"

"Mary, we'll get caught"

"You're so sweet"

"Mary, stop"

"I like the feel of it I've never felt it before. Is it poison?"

"It's great for sore throats"

"Cod"

"It is"

"I've touched myself with it"

"My back's killing me, Mary. Move over"

"There. Is that better?"

"Mary, my bottle of stout has leaked all over the floor"

"I've kissed it"

"My stout"

"It's not poison, sure?"

"Easy, Mary. That can hurt"

"You're sweet I like you. I'll go away with you if you want me to."

"Be nice for a little trip. Can you save any money? Money's important, Mary"

"I only have this thirty pounds. I'm not able to save any"

"With a little care. Eke is the operative word, Mary."

"Kiss me, please."

His hand desperately clutching a bottle of stout, he kissed Mary's feverish mouth and she opened his shirt and kissed his chest. Rolling around with the flesh of it My problems come with me wherever I go, even on detours. At least Mary and I would have enough to live on in London. A holiday for me. A job for her. Shake off a few of these Erse chains. So long as I keep out of Wales and jail. Because there I'd have cover. Eight million others. From this forlorn back cellar with Mary's bare backside pumping all over me. A time to make decisions. Set up a trip wire for Skully with a sack of you know what waiting to flop on his head. And secrecy, more silently and at night With experimental Mary. The vision of it is almost too much. A belly of joy. Anyway, you, Mary, take what you want from me so's you won't have to be asking for more. A sexual feast if need be, anything I can give you, because I'm getting out. Let me at them. With my new tongue. I'm going to be a reality.

"I love you, Sebastian."