The Gift (38 page)

As the service progressed, Adam felt himself beginning to relax. He’d come here feeling exceptionally nervous, fearful that something might happen to ruin the wedding. His eyes kept darting toward the door, hoping a particular person didn’t unexpectedly show up, although he was certain that he wouldn’t recognize her. It had been three days since Leah had admitted telling his mother who he was. Much to his relief, Cora had not gone to see Leah again or tried to contact him. Maybe she’d given up and decided to leave Arthur. That would be the sensible thing to do, because there was no hope of her having a relationship with him or the girls. All Adam wanted was the chance to begin a new life and, with Leah’s help, raise Mary and Amos’s girls the best way he could.

When Cora arrived at Leah’s home, she knew immediately that the wedding was not taking place there because no buggies were parked in the field and there was no sign of a bench wagon or anything else to indicate that a wedding was being held.

Cora tapped the steering wheel.
Let me think. Where might the wedding be held?

Unsure of where to go or what to do, Cora turned her car around and headed back down the driveway. The only thing she could think to do was drive around the area and see if she could locate the home where the wedding was being held. Surely it couldn’t be that hard to spot. She just had to find the right road.

Turning onto the main road, Cora looked at the sky. “At least my son has a beautiful day for his wedding.” It was a cold, crisp November day without a cloud to be seen. The air was sharp and so nippy it felt as though she could almost touch it. A sheet of ice glazed over the top of a pond she passed. Most of the trees were nearly bare, with only a few leaves hanging on the branches.

The other morning, driving to work, Cora had seen a few snow flurries. It reminded her of living in Chicago, where she had become used to the wind and snow. At least Cora didn’t have snowy roads to contend with today. She was good at driving in the snow, but everyone else worried her. Over the years, she’d witnessed people making terrible mistakes when they drove on icy and snowy roads. But being a nurse and having to drive herself to work every day, Cora had learned to get over her fear and pay attention to what other vehicles were doing.

Cora glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror. She had chosen to wear a simple outfit because she would be attending an Amish wedding. Her closet was full of fancy dresses she’d brought with her from Chicago, but none of them would have been appropriate. She had attended many hospital functions, weddings, and parties with her now ex-husband, but those dresses were too flashy to wear to a simple gathering such as this. Cora certainly didn’t want to bring attention to herself, so she had chosen a dark blue skirt with matching jacket, and a light blue blouse. Since Amish women wore no jewelry, she avoided wearing earrings or a necklace.

Cora took a deep breath and concentrated on the matter at hand, slowing down at each farm she came to, hoping to see a crowd of horses and buggies. So far she’d had no luck. To make matters worse, a few minutes ago, her vehicle had started making sputtering noises.

Oh, please, not now,
Cora silently prayed.
I don’t need this on top of everything else.
She checked the gauge, but that was okay. She still had a half tank of gas. No other lights on the dash were lit up, and the steering seemed to be okay. Inspection was due sometime soon, but Cora hadn’t had a chance to seek out a garage where she could take her vehicle. That was the first thing she planned to do when she went back to work the next day. Perhaps her coworkers could let her know of a reputable place to get her car inspected.

A few more miles down the road, Cora’s car sounded normal again.

Sure wish I’d thought to ask Leah where the wedding was going to be. But then, she might not have told me.

Cora clutched the steering wheel tightly and berated herself. “What am I doing?” She was slowly beginning to lose her nerve. “What will I say to Adam if I come face-to-face with him?”

She’d planned out what she would say, but now she was so nervous she couldn’t remember the words. She didn’t want to talk herself out of it, but her nerves were on edge. What if she located the place where the wedding was being held and found out that she wasn’t welcome? Cora didn’t think she could handle the rejection.

After driving another mile up the road, she spotted a line of buggies parked in a field.
This must be the place.
Biting her lip, she slowed to let another vehicle pass before pulling in.

She turned up the driveway and parked her car near the edge so that if anyone needed to get out she wouldn’t be in the way. Besides, she didn’t want to alarm any of the horses, even though most of them were probably used to vehicles. Cora had to admit, she wanted to park in a space where she could get out easily, in case she had to leave quickly.

Opening the car door, Cora froze when the car started drifting forward. She realized then that she’d forgotten to put the gear in Park. After doing so, she sat for a few minutes, taking deep breaths. “Pull yourself together,” she whispered. “You came here to see Adam, so you can’t chicken out now.”

Gathering her courage, Cora grabbed the door handle and stepped out of the car. Despite the butterflies in the pit of her stomach, there was no stopping her now.

C
ora heard singing coming from inside the oversized shop on the right side of the property, so she headed in that direction. When she got to the door, she stopped, running her damp hands down the side of her skirt. Earlier she had been concerned that she hadn’t dressed warmly enough, given the cool weather. But now, Cora’s nerves were keeping her plenty warm enough.

Looking back at her car to make sure it was still parked where she’d left it, Cora wiped her hands one more time then grasped the shop door handle. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside and slipped quietly onto one of the backless wooden benches on the women’s side of the room, near the rear. She couldn’t see the bride and groom because other heads blocked her view. Cora sat silently, willing her heart to quit beating so wildly and uncrossing her legs to keep her feet from bobbing.

Leaning slightly forward, she looked past the women in front of her and saw several children. Some sat with their mothers, grandmothers, or some other person, and a few sat with their fathers. Cora wondered which of these children might be Adam’s nieces. Then she spotted little Carrie, whom she’d met at the clinic the day Leah had brought her in. The child looked so cute, wearing an olive-green dress with a white apron. Her small hands were folded as she looked straight ahead. On either side of Carrie sat two other young girls. Beside them was an older woman, who Cora recognized as Leah’s mother. She’d only seen her briefly the last time she’d gone to Leah’s for a foot treatment, but she was sure it was her.

I wish I were the one sitting on the bench with those girls,
Cora thought.
I gave up the privilege of knowing my children when they were young, but, oh, I would cherish each moment if I could spend that lost time with my grandchildren now.

Cora’s attention was drawn to the front of the room when one of the men, whom she assumed was a minister, stood and gave a message on the topic of marriage, speaking in German. The language came back to her as if she’d never stopped using it, and Cora was able to understand every word he said.

The focus of the message was on the serious step of marriage, for in the Amish church, the people were taught that divorce was not an option. The sermon and Bible passages emphasized the relationship between husband and wife, as God intended.

Cora had heard something similar the day she’d married Andrew but hadn’t really taken it to heart. Today, however, the man’s words penetrated her soul. Even though she’d spoken her vows before God and man and promised to be true only unto her husband, Cora had broken that vow the day she’d left Andrew and filed for divorce. Then by some twist of fate, Evan had done the same thing to her. If only she could go back in time and reverse her decision.
What goes around, comes around.
And what she had done so many years ago to her family had certainly come back around to her.
I didn’t leave my husband for another man, though,
Cora justified, comparing what she’d done to Evan’s reason for divorcing her. Wanting to be a nurse was a burning desire she’d had years ago, but had it been worth it in the end? Cora knew she had done wrong by leaving Andrew and had cheated herself out of the joy of knowing their children and being the kind of mother to Mary and Adam that they deserved. She had also robbed herself of the privilege of knowing her granddaughters. But maybe it wasn’t too late for that.

As the minister continued, Cora’s face burned with shame. Tears dripped onto her blouse. It felt like he was directing his words at her; yet he was speaking to the bride and groom.
Father, forgive me
, she silently prayed.
I was a selfish woman who knew better but wanted my own way. I know it’s a lot to ask, Lord, but I’d like the chance to make amends.

When the sermon ended, the wedding couple was called to stand before the bishop. Cora craned her head to get a look, and her heart nearly stopped beating when she caught sight of Leah standing beside a young Amish man with blond hair. It was the same man she’d spoken to at the hardware store the other day. Cora knew now why he’d looked so familiar. He resembled his father.

Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Cora couldn’t take her eyes off the couple as they said their vows. Her son wasn’t the little boy she remembered from long ago. Adam had been such a cute kid, and now he’d grown to be a handsome young man who had taken on the responsibility of raising Mary’s daughters. No wonder Leah had fallen in love with him.

Cora continued watching as Leah glanced shyly at Adam. It took Cora back to the day she and Andrew had shared their wedding vows and looked bashfully at each other.

Adam and Leah were asked by the minister if they would remain together until death and if they would be loyal and care for each other during adversity, affliction, sickness, and weakness. They both answered affirmatively, and then the minister took their hands in his, and after wishing them the blessing and mercy of God, he said, “Go forth in the Lord’s name. You are now man and wife.”

Tears clouding her vision, Cora sat very still as the couple returned to their seats. Then she stood and quietly left the building, hoping neither Leah nor Adam had seen her. She had come here, planning to speak with her son and reveal who she was, but now she realized that this was not the time to make an appearance. She didn’t want to spoil Leah and Adam’s wedding day, so she would wait for a better time to speak with Adam.

When Leah took a seat after saying her vows, she glanced over at Adam’s nieces and smiled. Those precious little girls would be in her care full-time from now on, and she looked forward to that. Unless things changed between her and Adam, she would probably never have any children of her own. That was one more reason for Leah to find satisfaction in being able to nurture and care for Carrie, Linda, and Amy. If the look of happiness on the girls’ faces was any indication of how they felt, then they were equally glad that she’d become Adam’s wife.

Adam’s wife,
Leah mused. It was hard to believe, especially given the fact that at one time she hadn’t cared for Adam that much. Things were different now. Since Adam had become the caregiver of his nieces, Leah had seen him in a different light. He didn’t annoy her like he had before, although he could still be pretty stubborn. If it weren’t for the bitterness he carried toward his mother, Leah could give Adam her whole heart.

Turning her attention to the final sermon, Leah listened as the minister praised the institution of marriage and quoted more scriptures. She thought about the vows she’d just spoken and wondered what the rest of her life would be like. Would Adam ever give his heart to her in love? Was there any chance that he would agree to speak with Cora? So many questions and doubts floated through Leah’s mind. The best response was to simply take one day at a time and trust God to work things out for everyone.