The Ghosts of Lovely Women (18 page)

“Janice Foster. Jessica gave me her book. There was one here, in the bathroom.”

“Is that where it is? Hang on.” She got up and jogged out of the room. In a moment she was back with the Janice Foster book I’d seen in Derek’s drawer. She handed it to me. “Read the inscription.”

I opened the cover and saw Jessica’s familiar handwriting. “For Cindy — I didn’t know if you had the newest one, but it’s great! Happy Birthday to one of the soulmates on my lifepath. Love, Jessica.”

“Oh,” I sighed.

“I sat by Jessie at the booksigning, although I didn’t know her then. We got to talking while we waited for the thing to start, and we found we had a lot in common. Jessie loves acting, and I used to act in high school. We were even in a couple of the same plays. Then we got to talking about our lives, and we found that we were both ambitious — she was going to go off to college in New York and I was going to get my business degree here in Chicago. We just — oh, we just got along instantly.”

This would be easy, I could see — Jessica’s ebullience and Cindy’s frank friendliness.

“I told her about Charlie, and she commiserated with the fact that I was a single mom. Somehow we ended up deciding that we’d meet again. So a couple weeks later we met for lunch, and we had a blast. I mean, it was like I’d known her all my life. She was like a sort of little sister, you know?”

I nodded.

“After that we met a few more times — that summer. One time I was in a terrible mood. I’d been up all night with Charlie and I’d gotten a bad grade on an exam, and I was just feeling kind of hopeless. She told me she had something for me, and she took out this necklace. She told me that it was from Dover Beach, and that it would lift my spirits and make my dreams come true.” Cindy’s emerald eyes filled with tears.

“She said we should pass it back and forth whenever one of us was down and needed uplifting. I thought it was pretty, and I loved the sentiment, so I took it. It made a lot of sense to both of us, because in Dr. Foster’s books she spoke a lot about the importance of amulets. You know, like stones used for protection, or for dreams and such. They help us to project our feelings into one object, and therefore make our dreams more concrete. Or something like that.” She shook her head, took a tissue from her pocket, and wiped her eyes. “I really can’t believe this. You have really shocked me here.”

“Didn’t you see it in the papers?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t read the papers at all when I’ve got a big project coming up. I was just
swamped
last week. God, school is hard, isn’t it?”

“But you’re almost finished, Derek tells me.”

“Yeah. Just a little more to go.” She brightened at the thought. “Then I’ll be making plans for Charlie and me. Thank God for my brother.”

“He’s been supportive?”

“Oh, yes. Jessie was envious; around the time I was meeting with her Derek had called me and listened and told me he was looking for a change, and he wanted to try teaching. He’d been in a private practice in Michigan for a while, and he liked it okay — I mean, it was lucrative and everything — but he felt like he would be a good teacher. He said he’d find something in the Chicago area and we’d work out a support system. It’s just him and me, so that’s always been important to us. Jessie said she hoped her brothers would be like that, when they were adults.”

“Just you? No… parents?”

“No. Dad died when we were kids. Massive heart attack. Derek has always had sort of a father complex toward me, since then. And Mom is in an Alzheimer’s facility. Three years now. She had early onset Alzheimer’s.” Cindy sighed again.

“Derek never told me.”

“I’m surprised. He is really into you, you know. Which blows me away.” She smiled to soften the oddness of those words.

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, it’s just that Derek has always been Mr. Careful, Mr. Circumspect. I swear he waited like a year before he would even use the word “girlfriend” with Anna — she was a few years ago. He’s just always been an ultra slow mover.”

“Is that so?” I said.

“But after he met you — it was like his first day at the new job. He called me that night — I guess he had dinner with you?—and said he thought things were going to work out great. I said he sounded mighty cheerful, and he said he’d met the woman of his dreams. That’s you, I guess.” She gave me a close appraisal that was very much like one of Derek’s stares. “So is my brother the man of your dreams?”

“Your brother is angry at me, I’m afraid.”

“Why?”

“Because I found that necklace in the drawer,” I blurted. “And he said he’d never heard of Jessica Halliday, and there was her property in his house. I was… afraid.”

Cindy stared at me, then burst into a gust of laughter. She covered her mouth, her eyes expressing apology even while she laughed. “Oh, geez, I’m sorry! I always laugh at the stupidest times. It’s usually because I’m nervous or something. Oh shoot. So you thought Derek was like—”

“Don’t even say it.”

She was still sputtering slightly. “I’m terrible! This isn’t even funny. Poor Jessie. It’s just — of all people to suspect. I mean,
Derek
!”

Charlie sidled up to her; I hadn’t even heard him move from his spot in front of the blocks. “Mommy?”

“What, Angel?” She scooped him up so that his face was close to hers and kissed him heartily.

“Mommy can ah have some crackers?” he breathed.

“Sure. I think you left your box in the kitchen. Look by Uncle Derek’s refrigerator.”

She set him down and he walked out of the room in his little suspenders. His feet were bare, like his mother’s. While hers were elegant, with pale pink-painted toes, his looked like little potatoes.

“He’s the cutest little boy I’ve ever seen,” I said.

“Isn’t he? The one favor his father did me,” she said lightly. “Some pretty good DNA. Good family health history, blah blah. And nice looks.”

“I think he looks like you.”

“Well, thanks.”

“Cindy, I think I’ve ruined things with Derek. But can you blame me for what I did?”

She shook her head. “No, and he can’t either. If he’s pouting he’ll get over it. He likes you way too much to let something like suspicion of murder bother him.” She was smirking slightly as she said it.

“Assuming I get to hang around, I’m never going to live this down, am I?” I asked.

She smiled sympathetically. “Probably not, Teddy.”

Cindy offered to make me dinner; we had hamburgers and talked a bit more about Jessica. “What do you think I should do with the necklace?” Cindy asked. “Should I go to her mom and dad?”

“That would be a nice gesture. I mean, Jessica gave it to you as a sort of gift, but her mother gave it to her. Maybe she’d like it as a keepsake.”

“All right. I feel weird going to their house, though. I mean I’ve never met them.”

“Maybe you could call. Explain the circumstances.”

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. She lifted the necklace and turned it around in her hands. “But you know them, right? Her parents?”

“I’ve met them. I don’t really know them.”

“But it would be less weird if you called than if it was some stranger out of the blue. Could you call them for me, Teddy? I’ll give this back to you. Let me know what they want to do. If they let me keep it, great. If not, then they’ll have it back, and that will be the right thing.”

“Okay, I guess I could—”

“Oh, thanks so much.” Her smile, like her brother’s, was infectious and irresistible, but it was also sad.

“I need to go,” I said. “I have to crash.” I stowed the necklace in my purse, feeling inexplicably burdened.

Cindy stood up and began clearing the table. “It was really nice meeting you, Teddy. Maybe we can all do something some time. Take Charlie to the zoo or something.”

“That would be nice.”

Charlie appeared at my knee. “See song?” he asked.

“I think your mommy will sing to you tonight,” I told him, enjoying his earnest little face.

“Oh, so THAT’S what he was talking about!” Cindy said, returning from the kitchen. “He kept telling me about some lady who sang to him. I thought it was something he saw on
Barney
.”

“No, it was me. I came here when someone broke into my apartment. Derek took me in until the police came.”

Cindy put a comforting hand on my shoulder. “This has not been a good week for you, has it?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “And yes. It’s been very confusing.”

“Listen. Normally I have Derek keep Charlie on Mondays, but to be honest with you I’m not going to class tonight. I’m skipping it to be with my little boy. And to process this news about Jessica. So if you want to come here and talk things out…”

“I don’t think so. Not tonight.”

She nodded. “Get some sleep first. Take it from the perpetual student. Sleep will solve all your problems,” she assured me.

* * *

It didn’t. Either my tall coffee or my unresolved dispute with Derek left me in that worst of states — an exhaustion that defies sleep. I lay on my bed with my eyes open, worrying over endless faces and images: Jessica, Cindy, the necklace, Rosalyn, Mitch Menteith, Danny, the number in Kathy’s wallet, Kathy at the committee meeting, my tears in front of my class, Josh and his interview, Lucia saying “Someone’s been keeping you up at night.”

“That’s for sure,” I murmured bleakly, staring out my window at a fingernail moon in a dark cloudless sky. I consulted the glowing numbers of my alarm clock: 11:58. I was usually fast asleep by now. Unlike my students, who seemed to subsist on Red Bull and courage, I needed my eight hours of sleep. Now I’d been sleepless for what felt like days.

“This is ridiculous,” I said. I got up and put on my slippers. P.G. did not wake up, the disloyal creature. I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and grabbed my jacket. At the first floor door I looked around carefully, half fearing that Richard or some other unwelcome presence would be lurking in wait. The street was almost deserted, except for one couple holding hands on a staircase and a car pulling slowly into a driveway at the end of the block.

I walked briskly to Derek’s house. This whole day had been insane. Nothing had been right since I drank wine on Derek’s couch, enjoying the way he looked at me, the way he touched me. Why did I have to open that drawer? Pandora’s Box in Derek’s kitchen.

I got to his building and pressed his buzzer before I could change my mind. I waited. A minute went by and I buzzed again. Finally, Derek’s voice, sounding disbelieving. “Yes?”

“It’s me.”

He let me in. I tried to convince myself that there wasn’t any hesitation between my declaration and that comforting buzz — tried but didn’t quite succeed.

I got to his door as he opened it. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and no shirt. His hair stood up in two tufted horns. He looked like a sleepy (and sexy) devil. “Teddy?” he asked. His tone suggested that he didn’t wish for me to torment him further.

I launched myself into his arms and he grunted. “What’s this?” he said.

“I didn’t mean to distrust you. Put yourself in my place and you’ll see that it was crazy, the whole situation. No one on earth would just say, oh, what a funny coincidence, there’s the dead girl’s necklace in my boyfriend’s drawer.”

“Hmm.” I think he was half asleep while he stood there.

“Derek.”

“I’m sorry. I overreacted. I was… shocked. And afraid this was going to mess things up, when they were good.”

“Well, it hasn’t. And I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Are you tired, Teddy?”

“Exhausted.”

“Come on. We’ll sleep. Just sleep, I promise.” I didn’t doubt it; he was dragging me toward his bed as though he couldn’t wait to be unconscious again. I took off my jacket and he seemed to see me for the first time. “You came here in your pajamas?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“They have sheep on them.”

“As if to taunt me in my insomnia.”

He lay on his bed and held out a hand; I jumped on and snuggled against him. “There. That’s nice,” he said, his eyes closed. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“What was that meeting you had?”

“Hmmm? Oh, it wasn’t really a meeting. I was having beers with my friend Dave. It’s a once-a-month event. We both had woman trouble, so it lasted quite a while.”

I sat up slightly. “You complained about me? You drank beer and complained about me?”

He smiled, his eyes still closed. “Oh, yes. And bragged about you. And hoped you weren’t going to dump me because of my sinister ways.”

“Derek. You made me cry in front of my whole class. I’ve never done that in my life.”

He sighed. “Maybe things will settle down now,” he said. His chest was warm, the hair surprisingly smooth. I touched it and felt the comforting beat of his heart.

“Don’t you believe it,” I told him.

That was the last thing I remember.

* * *

Tuesday morning I struggled to figure out where I was. Where was the clock? Why was the ceiling yellow instead of white? I turned and saw Derek, prone and snoring gently beside me. His alarm clock, on the dresser, said 7:20. “Oh no! Oh NO!” I cried.

I leaped out of bed and went into Derek’s bathroom, trying to get ready in one minute. I had to be at school in twenty. It wasn’t possible — I hadn’t even let P.G. out! I made a gargling sound as I almost choked myself with Derek’s spare toothbrush. I spit and ran back into his room. “Derek! Derek! We overslept!”

He woke up and stared at me groggily. “You’re pretty,” he said.

“Look at the TIME! We both have a first period class. Do you know how it will look if we BOTH call in late?”

He smiled his slow smile.

“Get out of bed!”

He yawned and got up. He moved slowly into the bathroom; I heard water running; I heard the toilet flush. I was going desperately through Cindy’s clothes, hunting for another outfit I could wear to work. What I really needed was a shower.

Derek came ambling back in, still refusing to panic. He picked up his phone, dialed some numbers, and said “Rosa? Derek Jonas. Listen, I just passed Teddy Thurber on the way in and she has a flat tire. I’m going to try to put on her spare, but if that doesn’t work I’m going to drive her to a service station. Hmm? Yeah, that might be best. No kidding. Thanks, Rosa.”