The Gate to Everything (Once Upon a Dare Book 1) (24 page)

Hey! I forgot to text you the video of Ella rolling over. Hopefully she’ll wow you on her own today. Thanks again for giving her to us, and thanks for making my life so happy. I’ll see you tonight.

There it was again. That word. Happy. He’d added a heart emoticon at the end, which touched her deeply. Sure, it was a silly cartoon symbol, but Jordan didn’t use such things lightly.

She texted him back.

Hey! She just rolled over for me, and I’m in awe. She’s the most talented little girl ever. I couldn’t be more delighted. See you soon.

And because he had opened himself to her, she added a heart at the end of her message too.

Chapter 20

By the time Jordan arrived home, he’d gone from focused to frazzled. The team was set to take on its toughest opponent to date this Sunday, but the prospect of talking about last night with Grace was more daunting. Despite the encouraging text she’d sent him earlier.

He let himself out of his car and stared at the door to his own house. If he were honest, he hated this house now. Before, he’d told himself its sleek modernity better suited his tastes. But the yellow house across the way with the traditional front porch was home now. Grace had been right to call it her dream house. When he looked at it, it seemed to hold everything he’d ever wanted.
 

Please don’t let me lose that tonight.

Postponing his talk with Grace wasn’t going to help anything—besides, he was eager to see her and Ella before she went to bed.
 

He detoured into his house and picked up Grace’s favorite wine, which he’d kept around because…he just had. He’d thought about getting her flowers on the way home, but the gesture had seemed too overt. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel he was hurrying things, even though he wanted to. But he’d texted her to let her know that he was on his way.

When he let himself in the house, he called out to her like usual. “Hey!”

“Up here,” she called back from the stairs.

He set the wine on the counter in the kitchen and headed to the second floor. They were playing on the floor when he found them in Ella’s nursery. Their daughter’s hair was damp from her bath, and she cooed when she saw him, kicking her feet wildly.

“Hey, baby girl.” He plopped down on all fours and started kissing her belly.

She giggled and wiggled her little body, making him laugh. Then he nuzzled her neck before he could summon up the courage to look at Grace. She was smiling, but there was wariness in her gaze.

“Hi,” he said, deciding to go ahead and kiss her cheek without asking.

She tensed up a little and let out an audible breath. “Sorry,” she said, giving his shoulder a mere brush with her fingers.

All right, so they might not be easy touching each other yet, but she was trying too. This was progress, and he managed to suck in a deep breath.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“Good,” she said quickly. “We both napped. Went for a walk. And ate some fresh-off-the-boat parmesan from Parma. You’re welcome to have some.”

Sharing Tony’s special parmesan with him was more than an olive branch. It was an overture. They’d eaten it together on more than one occasion, paired with a bottle of wine, and made love afterward.
 

“We must be on the same wavelength. I brought over a bottle of Barolo Montfortino.”

“You did?” she asked, blinking. “How did you…”

He gave her what he hoped was an easy smile. “I had a few bottles in the cellar for special occasions. Like when Ella took her first steps.” That was true, but not entirely so. This was no time for him to hold back, so he forced himself to say, “It’s also your favorite wine.”

“Well,”
she simply said. Some inscrutable emotion passed through her eyes, but she returned her gaze to Ella before he could interpret it.

He did the same, noticing the baby’s eyes were drooping. She gave him a drool-filled smile as he ran a finger over her feather-soft brow. “Someone’s sleepy.”

“Yeah,” Grace said, holding one of the baby’s little feet in her hand. “Do you want to put her down or did you have a tough day? I forgot to ask.”

Another encouraging sign. “It was mostly good. Practice is going well this week. I think we’ve come up with a good game plan.”

“It’s a big game this weekend,” she said with a slight hesitation in her voice. “Two undefeated teams coming together.”

“I didn’t know you kept up with the team,” he made himself say.

Of course, he had wondered. Before they’d broken up, she’d stopped attending his games, saying the press was beating on her. Which was true. It had hurt him more than he’d cared to admit. Football was so much of who he was, what he loved. It had been hard not to share it with her.

She lowered her eyes. “I thought Ella would like to know what you’re up to.”

“Ah.”
Not quite the answer he was hoping for, but he let his hand cover hers briefly. “Go on down and chill. I’ll be there in a bit. She won’t last long.”

He picked Ella up, and they both stood.
 

“I’ll open the wine and set the cheese out,” Grace said. “Did you eat?”

“I grabbed something before I left.” He started patting Ella on the back and bouncing on his heels.

Grace gave him one last half-smile and then turned off the light on her way out. Ella raised her head from his shoulder at the change and then snuggled back against him. Already her body was growing heavy. He rocked her to sleep, humming to her, as he contemplated the woman waiting for him downstairs. Grace might be guarded, but she wasn’t closed off. He let hope fill his heart as their daughter’s warmth spread through him.

When he finally made his way downstairs, Grace was waiting for him at the kitchen table. The open bottle of wine presided over two crystal red wine glasses. A plate of parm and grapes sat beside it. He grabbed a chair as Grace poured the wine and handed him a glass.

He extended it until their rims touched. “To the most beautiful and amazing daughter in the world and to the woman who gave her to me.”

Her green eyes warmed, and the corners of her mouth rose in a brief smile before she drank.

They watched each other as they drank, the silence of the room wrapping around them. The whispers of Ella’s sound machine could be heard over the baby monitor. Jordan finally set his glass aside since he didn’t drink much during the season—something Grace knew—and reached for the cheese knife. Without ceremony, he cut a slice of the parmesan and plopped it into his mouth.

“This,”
he said, groaning, letting the texture and taste wash over his tongue: smooth and buttery with a slight tang. “What in the world did we put on spaghetti as kids?”

“Sawdust?” She laughed. “Certainly not this.”

He cut her a slice and handed it to her. Their fingers brushed when she took it from him. Their eyes met, and suddenly all he could think of was making love with her again. Like they used to. She seemed to sense it because she broke eye contact and fiddled with the grapes.

Dancing around the subject wasn’t going to get them anywhere, but he wasn’t exactly eager to jump into it either. “It was nice of Tony to bring this by,” he said to be conversational.

She took a drink of her wine before speaking. “He mentioned he found himself sympathizing with you after last night.”

“He did?” he asked quickly.

“Yes,” she said. “He realized how frustrating it must be that you can’t keep people from bothering me because of you.”

Shit. He set the half-eaten slice of parmesan on the table. “Frustrated is a mild term. Pissed off is closer, but since you dislike me using dirty words, it will have to do. But the anger’s not the worst of it. It makes me feel powerless. And since it’s part of the reason I lost you—besides my own actions, which I take complete responsibility for—it also makes me feel really sad. I hate that most of all.”

Her glass bobbled when she set it aside with shaky fingers. Unlike she’d begun believing, Jordan wasn’t invincible after all. Just like her, he battled feelings of helplessness and sadness.

“I didn’t really understand that fully until Tony told me. I’m sorry.”

It cut him deep that Tony was the one who’d made her understand something that had been bothering him for a while now. “I wonder why you couldn’t hear it from me.”

“Maybe I was too wrapped up in my own fears,” she said, gesturing awkwardly with her hands. “Or maybe it was what I blamed our problems on.”

“I know I’ve said it before, but I’m sorry I stopped putting you first, sorry I stopped making you happy. I’ve hoped…to show you that I’ve changed.”

She put her hand on the table, and he covered it with his own. Her green eyes met his.

“I want to try again, Grace,” he said, clearing his throat when it clogged. “I want you and me and Ella to be a family, but when it comes right down to it, I just want you.”

She sat there quietly, holding herself together. “I want us to be a family too. I never wanted it to be this way.”

Encouraging words, but not the ones he needed her to say. “But what about me, Grace? I’m still a football player. I can’t give you your dream yellow house in Deadwood and work with your dad. I can’t keep the media from saying anything about you. But I’m here with you and Ella because I want to be.”

She scooted her chair close to him until their knees touched, keeping their hands connected. “Seeing you these past few months, it’s like you’re
you
again—but different. More open. Do you understand?”

He could feel the tightness in his chest intensify. “I know you’re scared I’ll lose myself again and forget about you and Ella, but I won’t. Okay? I promise you that, Grace.”

Her quiet reserve unsettled him.
 

“Now that I’m where I want to be, I can scale back to what’s vital. You and Ella are so much more important to me.”

She looked down, and he scooted his chair even closer to her since the slight contact of their knees wasn’t enough of a connection right now.
 

“I don’t know if you’ve realized it,” he continued, “but I haven’t been partying as much or doing all that extra stuff. I don’t miss it really. When I leave the field, all I want to do is come home to you and Ella.”

She bit her lip and turned her head away.

“Are you crying?” he asked, hoping it meant he’d finally reached her—and not that she was about to turn away.

“A little,” she said, sniffing. “Jordan, I want to believe you. I want to believe we can make this work.”

He gripped her hand harder to bring her attention back to him. “If we want this to work, then it will. We decide, Grace. I’m not going to let anyone else interfere, including me or the media or assholes like that guy at the restaurant last night. Is that something you’re willing to do?”

Despite all he’d said, she had to make the choice. He held his breath.

She leaned forward, and from the warm glow in her green eyes, he knew her answer before she spoke the words.

“I want it too,” she said in the sweetest voice he’d ever heard. “I’ve been thinking about it all day—heck, since that moment when we went baby shopping. I’m happier with you. And so is Ella.”

He closed his eyes briefly. “Thank God.”

Then he felt her shift in her chair. Her mouth covered his, and they tumbled into the deepest, most mind-blowing kiss they’d ever shared. Suddenly, the world was theirs again, and everything was possible. They were soaring through the evening sky like a kite.

He pulled her onto his lap, groaning as she curled into him. Sliding his hand around her nape, he brought their mouths together with greater intensity, changing the angle, kissing the corner of her lips before making sensual passes with his tongue.

She moaned too, offering herself up to him. Any final walls between them seemed to crumble, and he broke the kiss so he could look straight into her eyes. She paused, panting.

“I love you,” he uttered harshly. “I never stopped. I’ll never stop.”

Her brows drew in as she fought tears. “I love you too. I always have.”

Their mouths met again, and he scooped her more securely into his arms and carried her upstairs.

When they entered her bedroom, he laid her on the bed and proceeded to show her all the words he held in his heart for her.

Chapter 21

Since Grace and Jordan both worked unconventional hours, they’d always favored morning sex. Ella’s presence in their life was changing that, and while Grace loved her daughter to pieces, it couldn’t help but make her a little cranky.

“We’re going to have to set an alarm or something,” Jordan mumbled, rubbing his eyes as she fed their daughter. “I knew she got up early sometimes, but it’s not even light out yet. I was hoping to have a little time together before she woke up.”

Grace wasn’t any less tired than he was. Their reconciliation had lasted well into the night. “Let’s just pray she falls back to sleep.”

He folded his hands prayer-like on his chest. She was too tired to laugh.

Ella let go and turned her head to smile at her daddy, drooling madly. God, how could she be so wide awake? There was no way she was falling back to sleep.