The Game of Shepherd and Dawse (28 page)

As Penny looked into the caring gaze of Dr Saunders’ eyes and went to speak, she couldn’t hold back any longer the flood of tears that had been brewing for so very long, and instead of words coming out, all that came out were tears. Penny did manage to get out a few inaudible, garbled words that when pieced together resembled: depressed, sad, lonely, angry, desperate and all of the other feelings that we feel when one has come the end of their tether.

Dr Saunders didn’t interrupt or try to hold Penny’s hand to comfort her, as she knew the importance of giving someone their own space to off load any negative emotions they were holding onto when a person was in such an emotional state.

All that Dr Saunders could do was to keep looking at Penny with as much a motherly caring gaze as she could muster. It was another technique she had learnt to master over the years, for such patients, and the warmth and kindness that radiated from Dr Saunders into Penny’s very weary soul acted like a sweeping brush for all of those tears that so desperately needed letting go of.

Penny must have cried for a good 15 minutes before Dr Saunders finally handed her several tissues to mop up the Niagara Falls of her tears.

“Ohhh! I’m so sorry”, Penny apologised while blowing her nose.

“Right, then. Firstly, my girl”, Dr Saunders said in a stern but still motherly way and slightly leaning forward in her chair, “Never apologise for crying. It’s the best medicine out there – much better than anything I could ever give you or any pharmaceutical company for that matter”. Dr Saunders finished off with a tone in her voice that implied she didn’t have as much faith in big Pharma as the rest of the woolen masses.

Dr Saunders went back to Penny’s records for another quick browse and made a slight sucking noise with her teeth followed by a sharp exhale. “So then,” the doctor said slowly, looking up, “I can see by your records it’s been quite some time since you last had a good check-up. What I would like you to do is pop that rather lovely dress of yours off and lie on the couch so that I can do a quick overall examination”.

Dr Saunders turned her back to scribble some notes as Penny got undressed – more to save Penny’s blushes than to write anything that needed writing.

By now, Penny had regained her composure and had laid down on the bed and taken on a different composure. She had moved from one of a gibbering wreck to someone much more relaxed and content. In fact, she looked rather serene, even if she did have odd matching underwear on.

Dr Saunders gave Penny a thorough examination. She checked her heart rate, her blood pressure, she checked that all of her joints worked properly, looked in her ears and mouth, tapped her back while listening with her stethoscope and anything else that she could think of to do without being invasive. Dr Saunders knew that Penny was in pretty good shape and probably didn’t need such a thorough examination, but she also knew of the important of human touch and how the healing properties of it could work wonders, especially for someone who had experienced so very little of it, like Penny Crabtree.

There was also another reason why Dr Saunders wanted to examine Penny: She was looking for something. It was a birthmark in the shape of a heart that would have sat just above the knicker line had Penny been one for wearing the fashions of the day. Unfortunately, due to the belly warmers Penny was wearing, the birthmark the good doctor was looking for would be concealed a bit lower. Though after a slight examination around Penny’s abdominal area, Dr Saunders managed to see if what she was looking for was there.

Dr Saunders never considered herself a doctor in the traditional sense. She liked to think of herself as a healer first and a clinician second. Too many physicians of the day had gotten used to just putting plasters on things, as she would put it. Dr Saunders preferred to get to the root of the problem and to truly heal the patient, opposed to just handing out prescription after prescription. She had seen repeatedly first-hand, the damage done to people who were on constant medication and how viciously those lovely looking little pills eventually ravaged the bodies of those whom they were supposed to cure. There was a time and place for those lovely looking pills and she always knew when that time and place was – so much so that the inhabitants of the homeless hostel just around the corner had nicknamed her ‘Dr No’, due her strict intolerance of prescription drug dependency.

After she had gotten dressed, Penny settled back into the consulting chair and let Dr Saunders give her the diagnosis.

“From what I see, Penny, you appear to be suffering from mild depression. I don’t want this forming into a heavy, deep depression, so I’m going to put you on a course of amitriptyline. This will boost your spirits a bit. You know, give you a bit of a lift. I’m also going to give you a prescription for sleeping pills”. Dr Saunders’ pen began gently scribbling out both prescriptions as she spoke.

Not wanting to be any trouble, Penny piped in, “Well, I don’t actually have any trouble sleeping, doctor. If anything, I tend to slee…”

But before she could finish Dr Saunders butted in and said, “Its ok, Penny. They’re not for you. They’re for your mother. She was complaining last time I was around that she was having trouble sleeping and asked if I could give her some Valium. My answer was no, as I think your mother is on far too much medication as it is and I don’t want her becoming addicted to any more. However, what I would like for you to do is this: every Wednesday afternoon pop one of these 50mg Valium’s into a cup of tea for her, so she can catch up on any sleep that she needs. But you mustn’t tell her, as she will constantly feel the need to take them and they are very addictive. Is that clear, Penny”? Doctor Saunders lowered her reading glasses halfway on her nose and looked Penny directly in the eye when she said this.

“Wellll…y-yes, Dr Saunders”, Penny said clearing her throat. “Absolutely clear”.

“Good. Your mother will be out like a light until the early morning so make sure she’s in a comfortable resting position and she’ll be fine. I would also suggest that during this time you get a bit of Penny time, if you know what I mean. Get out, join a club or something. Go and meet some new people, that sort of thing. It will do you a world of good. Is that also clear”? Dr Saunders said in a way that Penny couldn’t argue with.

“Urmmm, well...yes”, Penny stammered. “But, the thing is, doctor...I really don’t know anybody to get to know”. Feeling a bit self-conscious about her lack of friends, Penny shifted in her seat and looked toward the floor.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Penny. You’ll be fine. Come back and see me in three weeks and let me know how you’re getting on with your medication, ok? Pam will book you a new appointment at reception on your way out”. Dr Saunders stood to shake Penny’s hand and gesture her toward the door. “Good luck, sweet pea”.

“Thank you so very much, Dr Saunders. I have admit, I actually feel a lot better already”, Penny said with an authentic smile on her face and a tiny spring in her tiny step.

“I’ll see you in three weeks then”, Dr Saunders waved back with her own smile and a wink. “Keep smiling won’t you, even if just for me”.

“I will”, answered Penny, amused that Dr Saunders had used the exact phrase that Fred always said to her on the bus.

Once Penny had left her office, Dr Saunders locked the door and made a phone call straight away. The phone rang several times before an elderly gentleman answered in a clear strong voice.

“Hello C? It’s K. I think we’ve found her”, Dr Saunders said. There was a momentary pause from the other end of the line.

“And the birthmark”? Enquired C.

“Right place. Right shape”, replied Dr Saunders.

“That’s wonderful news, K. Good work. Proceed now as planned and let me know if anything changes”.

As Penny made her way home on the bus she had a much lifted feeling about her: a fresh, new, clean feeling. It would be fair to say that this was probably the best in her life she had ever felt, and she rather liked it.

Penny went to Davey and Dobbs to pick up her prescription, just as she always did to pick up her mother’s prescriptions. Penny had mixed feelings about the drug superstore, Davey and Dobbs. The owner was a lovely, very sweet man called Mr Dobbs, who was always a pleasure to be served by. (His partner, Mrs Davey, a sweet lady in her own right, had passed away some years ago.) In sharp contrast to the gentle manner of Mr Dobbs, were the two brash young girls he employed to help run the counter while he was busy taking care of orders and prescriptions in the back. The girls were always rather rude to customers, mostly just for the fun of it. It wasn’t like they were rude enough that you could actually say anything to Mr Dobbs about them, or anyone else for that matter. They had crafted their hidden insults so very well, shrouded behind their fake tans, fake nails and even faker smiles, but they knew what they were up to and so did Penny. The worst of it was when they knew, that Penny knew, that they knew – yet they carried on regardless.

Well, today they weren’t going to get under her skin. Penny was too happy for that, and just as luck would have it, the Rude Twins had been let off early by Mr Dobbs.

“Hello, my Lovely”, Mr Dobbs said cheerfully in his thick, West Country accent.

“Hello, Mr Dobbs”, Penny beamed. How are you today”?

“I’m very well, my dear. Though I’d be a lot blooming better if we’d been a bit busier today, mind you”, he said with a sideways cock of the head. “We’ve been so quiet, I had to let Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee off early – and on full blooming pay too”! Mr Dobbs said this in a mock disgust that made Penny laugh, as she knew, that he knew, that the Twins knew that Penny knew that they knew, and in some ways he had as much dislike for his employees as she did.

“So what can I get for you today, my dear”? Asked Mr Dobbs.

Penny handed over the prescription slip and Mr Dobbs went about and made up the order. Mr Dobbs would never enquire in any way about a customer’s prescriptions, unlike his two young assistants, and could often be heard reprimanding both Deborah and Mandy for such actions with the words, “How many times have I got to tell you two: a customer’s prescription is a personal and private matter. Their business ain’t none of your business, so stop being so bloody nosey and affecting my bloody business. Got it”?!

“Yes, Mr Dobbs. So sorry, Mr Dobbs. Won’t happen again, Mr Dobbs”, would always be the replies delivered almost in unison from Deborah and Mandy. But it would happen again, and again, and again and again.

Mr Dobbs would probably have gotten rid of Deborah and Mandy moons ago, if it wasn’t for the fact that he trusted them not to steal from the till. This was about all those two did have going for them as employees, but as Mr Dobbs would often say, “You can train a person to do almost anything with enough time and patience, but you can’t train someone not to be a thief”.

Deborah, Mandy and Mr Dobbs each had a mutual respect and disrespect for each other. Mr Dobbs respected the fact that the two girls were both financially trustworthy (and he had seen his fair share of till ticklers in his time) but disrespected the fact that they were both so untrainable in almost every other way. Deborah and Mandy respected the fact that they always got paid on time and the fact that Mr Dobbs was (as they put it) a shit hot pharmacist. Mr Dobbs respected the fact that Deborah and Mandy respected his authority, but disrespected the fact that they disrespected customers. Deborah and Mandy respected the fact that Mr Dobbs was trying so hard to teach them a trade, but disrespected the fact that they really didn’t want to learn one.

All in all, the three of them were quite a comedy act all on their own. And in some strange ways, they all felt like they belonged together, even if it was just to press each other’s buttons.

Mr Dobbs handed over Penny’s prescription with his usual smile. “There you go, my lovely. That will be £11.36, please”.

Penny went to get her purse out of her bag and suddenly realised that she hadn’t brought enough money with her. Penny’s money was so tight that whenever she went out she would only take what was needed and hadn’t banked on needing more than the bus fare that she had equipped herself with that morning.

“Oh, dear! I’m ever so sorry, Mr Dobbs”, Penny blurted out. “It seems I haven’t brought enough money with me”. Penny felt rather stupid and untrustworthy and now wondered if Mr Dobbs would be thinking that she was just another person trying it on, as so many people in the world do.

Penny carried on sifting through her bag, as if by magic somehow she would find a rolled up £20 note somewhere and save her blushes. But there was no saving-grace £20 note to be had in Miss Frugal’s bag.

“Oh, I’m dreadfully sorry, Mr Dobbs”, Penny continued. “I’ll have to come ba...”

At which point Mr Dobbs broke in to reassure her, “Don’t be daft, my lovely. It happens to the best of us. And you, my dear, are one of my best customers. Just pop the money in when you’re next passing. I trust ya”!