The Frozen Beginning (Elemental Diamond Book 1) (35 page)

Glacier pulls her head back from his chest to look up at him. Fielder leans down to rest his forehead against hers, his deep breath blowing against her lips like a warm fog.

Astoundingly, the sensation settles her heart to a less frantic rhythm.

“I had never felt such overwhelming regret in my entire life, until the last phase of the Program today…”

Fielder’s soft words seed a blank confusion in her mind. Glacier’s eyes watch his closed lids as they flicker, his lips parting as he draws breath.

“What do you regret?”

Fielder takes a moment to roll his tongue across his lips. His scrunches his eyes closed tighter, his forehead creasing with the act.

“I don’t know why you volunteered to be in this tournament. I don’t know if your favourite colour is still yellow… I don’t know if you still love to wrestle in the snow… I don’t know if your nose still wrinkles when you’re frustrated. There have been so many questions racing through my mind, from the moment I saw you at the introductions…” He pauses through his speech when his voice slowly becomes softer.

The realization that Fielder remembered such unimportant things stuns her into silence. He pulls her tighter to him, her cold body calming his spiking heat.

“I just… I got really scared today… I’ve never been so scared in my life…” He releases a daunting breath as he clears his chest, his nerves itching on the surface of his skin.

Glacier’s heart beats a mile a minute as she absorbs his words. She is captivated in the closeness the two of them share.

The little things about their relationship that she thought she had lost to time slowly start to float back like lonely memories, reminding her of a time when she was neither loathed nor ridiculed. Her heart squeezes tightly, her eyes burning with itchy tears. Her nails dig past his formal shirt and into the muscle of his back, as she clenches her teeth tightly.

“Glace, I thought you died…”

A strong-built sob escapes her lips at his words, as she remembers the airless feeling in her lungs, the painful grasp around her throat. She knows she should have died in the Program. Had Branch reached the beacon any later, she wouldn’t be here.

The incredibly daunting fact is that she was closer to death than she has ever been, and that terrified her.

Fielder’s hand wraps around the back of her neck, his nose brushing sensually against hers.

The air surrounding them changes suddenly.

Gone is the remorseful atmosphere. It is quickly replaced with something stronger. Something
connecting
.

Glacier’s chest constricts with the odd sensation that flutters through her entire being. Her blood pumps hotter, and her cheeks flush a brilliant pink as the blood surfaces with excitement. She watches him with questioning eyes.

What is he doing?

His breathing is louder now. He waits a moment, second-guessing his decision.

Before he can re-think how detrimental it could be to his sanity, he leans forward. His lips press gently against hers, igniting something heated and
real
. Glacier’s eyes drift closed, as an overwhelming heat succumbs her. A hot wire coils around her skin, goose bumps erupting across her flesh.

The kiss is brief. His hot skin burns hotter as his heart pumps the blood past his ears wildly. Glacier’s head swarms. The only sound in the quiet air is their offbeat breathing.

Glacier pulls her lip between her teeth as her heart beats erratically with delight. Gone is
the worry, sadness, and the dread she has been carrying in her heart. At this moment, all she feels is the deepest affection. Her heart threatens to burst from her chest as her eyes slowly float open.

Fielder continues to take long breaths, his forehead still creased with deep frown lines.

“Fielder…” Glacier’s voice is whispery and thick, as she watches him carefully. He continues to hold her tight, his hands burning hot against her icy skin. Fielder relaxes as the coolness of her flesh soothes the never-ending burn of his own.

“I just… like holding you…” he mutters. “Your skin calms me. I have missed how it feels to touch you, for
so
long…”

His words resonate with Glacier.

The heat of his skin on hers reminds her that she is alive. She shakes her head in his hold as she stutters to speak. “We can’t…”

Her heart burns with the distance she knows she needs between the two of them.

He’s too close
…

Fielder’s hands tighten around her, his skin reaching scorching degrees. Glacier wiggles in his hold, uncomfortable from the sudden increase in his body temperature.

“Why? Because we live in different regions?” His teeth are gritted, his body taut. “We can just meet on the outside, like we did when we were kids!” His determination is fierce.

Fielder pulls back and holds her upper arms in his large hands. He holds her close to his chest, a mere breath away. Glacier looks down at his hands, knowing that if she looks into his eyes she’ll cave.

“It’s not that easy. We don’t know each other anymore.” She pulls free from his hold, her skin still ignited with the echoing burn across her body.

Taking a few measured steps back, Glacier distances herself. Fielder stands rooted to the floor, his eyes angry.

“I know that. I just want things to go back to how it used to be. Back to when you found me in that old house. When we were kids, and being together was
easy
. Back when you
wanted
to be with me…”

Glacier shakes her head, “It wouldn’t ever be that way again Fielder. Too much has changed for me.”

Wrapping her arms around her torso, she tries to think of anything other than the conversation she is having.

I am not ready for this
.

“You don’t know that, Glace. Please, just promise me that you will meet with me when we get back…” His eyes are desperate as he takes a slow step towards her.

“Please…” His voice is soft. Pleading. The ache in her chest morphs into a breathlessness suffocating her lungs, as she thinks about returning home.

“Fielder… I probably won’t be returning home…” Glacier speaks slowly, watching the fire elemental closely.

Confused by her words, a sudden anxiety claims Fielder’s being. “I don’t understand… Where are you going?”

Taking a deep breath, her head pounds with the misery of her fate.

How did I only realize this now?

“Fielder… I’m competing in the Deliverance… against
Brink
…”

He still doesn’t seem to understand her reasoning, so she continues.

“Brink has killed every contestant he has faced…”

Tears bloom in her eyes at the memory of Aleena’s melted body. The unseen image of what she had looked like
outside
of the program has her cringing.

Fielder seems to finally understand what she is referring to. His jaw clenches tightly, his eyes blaze a magnificent fired orange. His aura heats up rapidly as unwanted images of her lying under Porter’s chokehold return to the front of his mind. The memory burned into his brain like a scar, the feeling of hopelessness remaining forever present.

Reaching his hand out fast, he grabs the back of her neck, pulling her to meet his lips in a fierce kiss. This one is rougher, but not overwhelming. Glacier can sense from the power he holds, from the
heat
, that he is scared. Scared that this is the first and
last
time he will be with her like this.

Despite his urgent force and his flaring skin, Glacier notices how gentle, and soft, and
warm
his lips feel against hers. The satin-like feeling rubs against hers in a hypnotic manner, throwing her into a daze of content. Being held so close, so
preciously
against him, makes her feel cherished. Like she truly
matters
to someone.

Pulling back, keeping their noses close enough to brush against each other, Fielder breathes deeply. Glacier’s lungs are in the same airless condition. A strangely familiar feeling blooms in her chest from their close proximity, the same feeling she felt when he came to her during her battle with Isaac. Never before has someone been as close to her as Fielder is now.

“I can’t do that again…” His voice is grave, drawing her back to the present. She hums her confusion as she tries to remember what they had been talking about.

“I can’t watch you like that again.
Dying
. I don’t know what I’d do, but I know it would go against every rule here.”

Withdrawing from her entirely, Fielder moves closer to the doors leading into the ballroom.

Glacier watches him leave with confusion, “Fielder…?”

He gives her a grim yet hopeful smile, nodding his head in her direction.

“I’ll do something, Glace. I’ll save you. Then you will have to promise me.”

He ducks back into the ballroom without much farewell. Glacier watches the door for a moment, before releasing a deep sigh and heading towards the steps.

Not much to do on my last night alive
.

TWENTY-THREE

BAD NEWS

The door collapses open, revealing Glacier’s dark
bedroom. With heavy shoulders and a pounding head, Glacier’s only thoughts are of showering and sleep.

Making her way into her room, the lights turn on with her sound clap, banishing the dark shadows.

Three faces are revealed in the light, all familiar.

Glacier’s body trembles, her heart thudding loudly as she remembers the last time these three men had been in her room.

Thomes stands from the bed with poorly masked frustration. The two other men flanking either side of him wear stone-cold expressions. They all stand imposing, wearing dark variations of blue and black. The two guards have their large arms crossed across their chest, their large hovering guns floating close to the blue-glowing disk on their hips. Their stance intimidates her, their eyes unflinching.

Hearing the door close behind her, the panicked feeling of entrapment settles in her chest. Frozen in her shoes, she watches them with terrified eyes.

Thomes approaches her with short, slow steps, his eyes dangerous.

“Miss Wardgrave… Where do I even start…?” Thomes voice speaks volumes, even though he speaks barely above a whisper. Her spine chills with shivers of fear as she anticipates what will come.

Aleena
…

She speaks quickly, trying to ease the situation, “I didn’t know where she was! I couldn’t do anything to save her—”

Thomes strides forward fast, raising his hand before striking her cheek. Glacier flies to the floor, her face blooming with a sharp sting. She clenches her jaw to refrain from crying out.

Don’t give him what he wants.

“The Chancellor’s daughter is
dead
. What do you think that means for you? For
me
?” Thomes crouches down to hiss in her ear.

He grabs the back of Glacier’s neck with a painful pinch, dragging her to her feet. Still, she makes no sound of pain.

Her mind thrums with images of their deal, of their
persuasion
. She shakes her head in denial as she recalls what her reflection has hissed to her in the Program.

‘And when you finally leave this place, Castor will be dead.’

Glacier knew that it was a possibility. She just hoped hard enough that her deal with the Chancellor would keep him safe.

Petrifying tears brim in her odd colour eyes, “Please don’t…”

Thomes’ evil smile reveals his shinning teeth, “Your little Critter friend is
dead
.”

Glacier’s stomach plummets to the floor like a rock in a river. Thomes’ words resound through her head like a spiteful melody. Her throat swells and her head pounds with misery.

Castor is dead… No… Not him
.

Memories of the little boy flood back like a cruel replay. When he would sleep over at her house on cold nights. And when he would squeeze her tightly whenever he hugged her. And the day he found a lady beetle perched on a daisy, and tried to feed it with the last of his food. He is-
was
such a sweet boy.

He didn’t deserve any of this
…

“But do you want to know a secret?” Thomes continues, releasing the back of her neck with a fierce shove.

She stumbles into another body that is quick to restrain her. With her arms behind her back, and her hair pulled back to lift her chin, Glacier stands defenceless and terrified. Thomes moves closer until his nose is almost brushing hers. His eyes are filled with cruel pleasure, and his teeth are grit as he bares them to her like a snarling cat.

“He was dead
days
ago…”

Glacier can’t think. Her mind and her heart shutter as she tries to accept his words.

He’s been dead… for
days
…?

She shakes her head in denial.

Not possible. He couldn’t be
…

“You’re lying…”

The High Guard’s punishing smile has her second-guessing her words.

“You're lying!” she lashes out wildly. “You’re lying! You’re
lying
!” Glacier thrashes around, violent with grief.

Thomes grabs her face in his hand tightly, bruising her jaw with his grip. “Want to know how he died?” His cruel taunting continues. Glacier stops thrashing as she watches Thomes with intensely hateful eyes.

I hate you. I’ll kill you!

He waits a moment before he whispers in an almost
sinister
voice, “He was eaten by
rats
.”

Glacier’s jaw drops, her stomach churning dangerously with disgust. Something in his eyes tells her he isn’t lying.

The unwanted picture of the young boy eaten alive, his blood mixing with his tears on his sweaty dirt skin has Glacier recoiling sickly.

No!

The insane notion has her spitting in his face. A lump of her saliva hits his cheek just below his eye, barely a second before his fist launches into her stomach.

She kneels over as the pain explodes across her midsection. She tries to draw breath past it, until another blow lands a margin higher than the first. The arms holding her up force her to remain on her feet.