The Fountain of Infinite Wishes (Dare River Book 5) (37 page)

“I realize that,” Vander said. “I didn’t quite know what to do. I called Clayton for advice, and he said you were the best person to talk to about it. That you’d know the best course for the family. I didn’t feel I did, or that I even had the right to make that decision.”

The man blew out a long breath. “We’d best sit down.”

They sat at Charlie’s glass dining room table, and Vander waited for J.P. to compose himself.

“I don’t know that I want to hear it,” J.P. said, patting the glass like he was nervous. “But I suppose you’d better.”

Vander had told people plenty of horrible things since he’d become a private investigator. One client’s spouse had stolen from her checking account when she wasn’t looking, and another client had hired him to find his kidnapped daughter, only for Vander to have to report she was dead. Then there was the husband who had hired him to find out why his wife had left him, which had ended with the twist that his business partner had killed her and buried her in his backyard because she’d threatened to tell her spouse about the affair. But telling J.P. what he’d learned was somehow the hardest.

He felt helpless as the man’s mouth bunched with emotion during the telling. Not once did J.P. interrupt him. He listened straight through Vander’s recitation, only once looking away when Vander told him about the girl becoming pregnant. At that moment, Vander could see the gleam of tears in his eyes, and he felt his own gut burn with empathy.

When he finally finished he said, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

“How could you?” J.P. asked, blinking rapidly to clear the tears in his eyes. “I listened to you talking, and it was like listening to a story about someone else’s daddy. Part of me kept thinking,
my daddy wouldn’t have done that.
But it was the truth straight from his own mouth. My God! When I think about Mama and what she must have gone through… I didn’t have a clue. Part of me wonders how I didn’t know things were so bad.”

“Parents often shield their children from the worst parts of a marriage,” Vander said. “Your mother did a stellar job of it.”

“I can’t even begin to think of the pain this caused her. Or the shame. And that girl, Skylar. My God, we have a half sister or brother somewhere, and we didn’t even know it. What must his or her life have been like?” Tears rolled down his face, and he swiped at them. “I’m sorry.”

Vander had seen grown men reduced to tears before. He’d also been there himself. “You don’t need to apologize. I can’t imagine the hurt you’re feeling.”

J.P. swiped at a few more. “In my mind, I always thought Daddy left because he was too immature to raise a family and be a husband, but to learn this? I don’t think disappointment is a strong enough word for how I feel—even if he is sorry.”

Preston McGuiness was sorry, and he certainly hadn’t led an easy life. But that was no excuse for what he’d done. Vander wondered what the man would do now. Would he continue to move around from town to town like a nomad wrapped up in sins like he’d indicated was his lot in life? Since the man obviously didn’t want to see his children, Vander supposed it didn’t matter.

“This will kill the girls,” J.P. said in a hoarse voice. “And having Mama know we finally know the truth… God help us all.”

“Do you want a bourbon?” Vander asked, knowing Charlie would have some around.

“A stiff drink or two might be just the thing,” J.P. said.
 

Vander located Charlie’s bourbon and decided to buy her a better selection as a thank you for letting him use her place. He poured two glasses, and when he placed J.P.’s drink in front of him, the man took a long, slow sip.

“I’ve always told myself I’m not the kind of man to get drunk to numb out bad news,” J.P. said, as if noticing his scrutiny. “Rye was the king of that. But now I can see the appeal. I’m still not going to do it, though.”

“I wouldn’t judge you,” Vander said, meeting his eyes as he sat down across from him.

“No, you wouldn’t,” J.P. said after a time, setting the glass aside. “This must have weighed heavy on you, being with Shelby.”

He didn’t want to make this about him, but he couldn’t deny he was connected. “That’s putting it mildly. I love her, and being honest with the person you love is sacrosanct as far as I’m concerned. This doesn’t sit well at all.”

J.P. nodded and pushed his glass further from him, closer to Vander’s, which he hadn’t touched.

“Do you know what you want to do?” Vander asked.
 

Shaking his head, J.P. said, “This whole thing is a mess of tangles, isn’t it? If you pull one string, it only gets more knotted up. Christ, give me strength.” J.P. stood. “I’ll need to sit with this. Pray about it. Hard. But I won’t take long to decide. I know this isn’t the kind of news you can let linger.”

While Vander wasn’t sure how he was supposed to see Shelby before he had an answer, he didn’t want J.P. to feel rushed. He got to his feet and said, “Time doesn’t factor into decisions like this. When you’re sure, let me know. I’ll be here. Whatever you decide.”

The man nodded and walked to the door, letting himself out.

Vander sat back down at Charlie’s table, and even though he wasn’t the kind of man to drink over bad news either, he downed his bourbon.

Chapter 35

Shelby stared off into space as she stirred the batter for the Mississippi Mud Cake she’d decided to make for Vander. He’d given her his key and told her she was welcome anytime. Of course, he hadn’t responded to her text, but she reasoned he was in back-to-back meetings and hadn’t had time.

Being at his house had calmed some of the anxiety that had welled up inside her since his abrupt departure on Sunday morning. His things were where they normally were, and somehow that order was its own assurance. She’d left the office early to shop for their meal and decided to bake the cake at his house. What man didn’t like coming back from work to a home filled with the scent of a baked cake? Perhaps it would help Vander relax about whatever case had him all riled up.

Every time her mind told her the problem was her—that he’d grown tired of her like Nick had—she banged the wooden spoon against the side of the bowl. She banged it quite a lot, actually. She said a little prayer that it wouldn’t make the cake flat as she put it in the oven.

She returned to the spreadsheets on her laptop and tried to find some peace in all her formulas and numbers adding up like they should.

When there was a loud knocking on the door, Shelby jumped in her chair. She glanced in the direction of the sound, but stayed where she was. Even though she had a key to Vander’s home, she didn’t feel right about answering his door.

But the knocking wouldn’t let up. In fact, it sounded quite frantic.

She walked slowly to the door, trying to keep her footsteps quiet, so she could peek through the peephole. Could it be one of Vander’s clients? She couldn’t imagine he’d give out his personal address. When she saw who was knocking, she gasped.

Mama!

She jumped again when another barrage of knocks shook the door. What was her mama doing here? Shelby opened the door to find out.

Mama’s whole face seemed to crumple. “Oh, no! I’m too late. Oh, Shelby! I’m so sorry.”

Her mama put her arms around her and started to sob. Fear lanced through Shelby’s heart. She’d
never
seen her mama like this. She was crying so hard, mascara was streaking down her face.

“Mama! What is it? What’s wrong?”

Mama pushed her back, hard enough to make her gasp. “He had no right to tell you. No right!”

She was hysterical. Shelby’s stomach gripped. “Mama! What are you talking about?”

“Your daddy called and told me that his awful mama forced him to tell her and Vander why he left.”
 

Pain slammed through Shelby, and she almost doubled over. Everything was falling into place now. Lenore must have called him, and he’d taken off to meet them. It made sense, but her heart couldn’t take it.
Vander kept that from me? How could he?

Mama pulled at her hair, scaring Shelby. “Have you told the other kids? Please, Shelby,
please.
Tell me you and Vander haven’t told the rest of my babies. I can’t bear it!”

Shelby was shaking all over, and she caught a worried look from one of Vander’s neighbors as he walked quickly past the open door. She couldn’t bring herself to care. Vander knew the truth about why her daddy had left, and so did her mama. Shelby wanted to know. She deserved to know.

“Tell them what, Mama?” she asked in a hard tone. If Vander didn’t plan on revealing what he’d discovered, she was going to hear it from the horse’s mouth.

“You know what I’m talking about!” Her mama’s voice was high-pitched and pleading. “Oh, the hurt. The shame. I’ve tried to protect y’all from it. Please, Shelby. Promise me that you won’t tell the others.”

Her mama gripped her arms hard enough to leave a mark, and Shelby fought the urge to fling them off her. Rage as hot and scalding as boiling water was coursing through her system.

“I want to hear your side of it!” she said, nearly shouting. “I want to hear why you’ve kept this from us for most of our lives.”

“You know why!” Mama shouted back. “Your daddy did the most unspeakable, horrible thing ever—and then he wanted me to leave town with him and pretend it had never happened. He wasn’t the man I thought I’d married. I couldn’t do that. I
wouldn’t
do that! I deserved a better husband, and y’all certainly deserved a better daddy. Even if that meant you never had a daddy growing up, and we were as poor as church mice.”

Lead settled into Shelby’s bones, and a feeling of strong foreboding prickled her skin. “You tell me what he did, Mama. You say it to my face! I’m old enough to hear it.”

Her mama’s green eyes locked on hers, and her lip started to tremble. “Your daddy had sex with a fifteen-year-old girl at church and got her pregnant. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you
think
you’re old enough to hear?”

Shelby fell back a few steps and hit the edge of a side table. Pain flashed through her ankle, and she cried out.
“No!
He wouldn’t do that.
Not that.”

She realized she was crying, and Mama was crying too. She fell to the floor, every naïve dream she’d had of her daddy exploding like glass shards around her, slicing open her skin and cutting down to her soul.

“Oh, Shelby,” her mama said, wrapping her arms around her. “I’m so sorry, baby. I never wanted you to know. Never!”

They both cried and cried and cried until Shelby couldn’t breathe and had to blow her nose. Seeing no tissues close by, she went into the hall bathroom and yanked off some toilet paper. She blew her nose loudly and washed her shaking hands.

Mama was standing in the hallway, her whole face a mix of mascara streaks and splotches. “Can I have some too?”

Shelby felt tears burn her eyes again as she looked at her, this woman she’d loved and idolized all her life. Oh, how their mother had suffered for them. Turning sideways, she grabbed a handful of toilet paper and handed it to her.

“Mama,” she said as the woman blew her nose. “I never imagined this.”

“This is why I’ve never told you,” Mama said in an anguished voice. “I
never
wanted any of you kids to feel the hurt of it. How was I supposed to tell you that your daddy did something like that? We were lucky her family didn’t press charges, or he would have gone to jail for sure.”

Shelby jolted at the thought. Jail. Yes, he could have been sent there. My God.

“I used to lay in bed at night, sick at the thought of you kids having a daddy who was in prison for statutory rape. You’ll never know how relieved I was when that family left town for good a few years later. Seeing them every Sunday at church was pure torture, Shelby, let me tell you. Thank God they sent their girl away.”

Shelby felt cold all over as she realized that girl had had a baby—a baby who was their kin.

“I don’t think I could have stood the sight of her,” Mama continued in a harsh tone, tears streaking down her face. “It makes me feel so much shame to say that. I try and be a good Christian woman, but even after all these years, I haven’t completely forgiven him or made peace with what he did.”

Shelby understood. She hated him with all her might. “Mama! What about the baby?”

She shook her head, biting her lip. “I never wanted to know, Shelby. I’m…sorry.”

Her head was hurting from all the stress and the crying. “Mama, we need to tell the others,” she finally said.
 

“No! Your daddy was wrong to give in to Lenore. He was sure as hell wrong to tell Vander. Dammit, Shelby, you told me he wasn’t looking into this.”

She felt another slice of pain. Vander had come back from Me-Mother’s and slipped into bed with her without saying a word about it. “I…I lied to put you at ease. We all agreed not to tell you we’d tried to find Daddy. Mama, that’s how I met Vander.”

Her mama put her hand to her mouth. “You lied about all of that to me? Oh, Shelby.”

“You wouldn’t tell us anything about Daddy, Mama!” She realized she was raising her voice again and went over to shut the front door finally. “We wanted to know. We
needed
to know.”