The Forgotten Girl (23 page)

When Jason woke up the next morning, he saw that Nora was already awake and out of bed. Jason stepped out into the hallway and saw Sierra’s bedroom door closed. He eased over and leaned his head against the door, listening for any sign of his niece. He heard nothing and went downstairs, where he found Nora sipping orange juice in the kitchen.

“Have you seen the kid?” he asked. “Is she here?”

“I assume she’s in her room.”

“But you haven’t seen her?”

“I’m trying not to crowd her. I know she ran off once, but I’m trying to trust her. I believe her when she says—”

But Jason was already on his way up the stairs. He stopped outside Sierra’s room again and he knocked. He waited, hearing nothing, and then he knocked again.

“What?” Sierra said from the other side of the door. Her voice was muffled and scratchy, but he couldn’t mistake the irritation.

“I’m just . . . Are you okay?”

He heard shuffling and then Sierra pulled the door open. Her face was puffy from sleep, her hair a tangled mess. She wore a T-shirt and gym shorts and she squinted at Jason like she didn’t recognize him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Is it Mom?”

“No,” Jason said. He felt like an idiot for startling the girl, for not trusting her as much as Nora seemed to. Or if Nora was uncertain about the trust, at least she didn’t let it dictate her actions. “I’m sorry. I thought . . .”

Sierra’s shoulders sagged. “You were just checking up on me. Jesus.”

She closed the door in Jason’s face. He really couldn’t blame her.

*   *   *

“I think one of us should stay home again today,” Nora said.

They sat across from each other at the kitchen table. Jason had brewed coffee and he was drinking from a mug with a big smiley face on it.

“I can call in,” Jason said. “I probably have more time saved up.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s fine. You’ve missed a lot of work too.”

The word “work” brought their conversation to a halt. Jason hadn’t thought of the talk from the night before, but it was there with them all of a sudden. Nora had a potential job offer back in the city.

“I know we need to talk about New York,” Jason said. “I was hoping things would be more settled here soon.”

“You mean that we’d know where Hayden is.”

“Yes.”

“I agree that we should wait. I said that last night. Then again . . .”

“What if she never comes back?”

“What if we never know?”

“Let’s give it a couple of days,” Jason said. “We can wait a couple of days to make bigger decisions.”

*   *   *

With Nora gone, Jason tried to occupy himself around the house. He used his laptop to catch up on some things from work. He tidied up the kitchen, putting clean dishes away and dirty ones into the dishwasher. While he did these things, he paused from time to time to see if he could hear any sounds from upstairs that would tell him Sierra had woken up. He heard nothing. For all he knew, she was awake but choosing to sit in her room rather than come downstairs and join him. He tried to remind himself not to be hurt by the teen’s moodiness but felt a little stung anyway. He thought of all the times he had snapped at his parents or stormed away from them or shut them out of his life. Had they developed a thick parental skin, or did they also carry silent hurts inflicted by their children around with them?

At midmorning the front doorbell rang. Jason’s hopes and fears rose with every bell—phone or door—that might be bringing news of Hayden or Logan or anything else. He walked to the door feeling a mixture of dread and excitement, and when he looked out through the small window, he saw a man standing with his back to the front door. He was taller than Jason, and his once dark hair was more than half gray. Jason saw something familiar in the way the man stood, his rail-thin build and long, loose arms. He wore a light jacket and he stood with his hands resting on his waist, the jacket pushed back. As Jason stared, the man turned around and saw Jason staring at him. He waved. It was Derrick, Sierra’s father.

It took Jason a moment to act. He froze, staring back, not
even waving. Derrick smiled without showing his teeth, and he held the smile for a long awkward moment. And then when Jason didn’t move to open the door, his former brother-in-law’s smile sank. Jason knew he was being rude, so he recovered himself and undid the lock. He pulled the door open and felt the morning air hit him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call first,” Derrick said. “To be honest, I figured you’d be at work.”

“I’m working at home.”

Jason still stood in the doorway, his body filling the frame so that Derrick couldn’t enter. If Derrick thought he and Nora would be at work, what did he intend to do at the house? Was he hoping to come by and find Sierra alone?

Derrick looked older. In addition to the graying hair, his face showed more lines, especially around his eyes and mouth. But he maintained his long and skinny frame. His lantern jaw looked like it could break rocks, a contrast to the soft pitch of his voice.

“I wanted to see Sierra,” he said. “Is she here? She must be.”

“She’s asleep.”

Derrick checked his watch. “A little late.”

Jason wanted to ask how Derrick would know what was late for his daughter when he hadn’t seen her in almost two years, but he didn’t. He pulled the door shut behind him and stepped out on the porch. Derrick moved back, giving Jason room.

“You’re not even going to let me in?”

“It’s not that.”

“Jason, I want to be honest with you. I don’t want to beat around the bush here. I think Sierra needs to come and stay with me until we know what’s going on with Hayden.”

“I thought you said you were okay with her staying here.”

“I did say that. But I thought about it a little after our phone
call.” Derrick resumed his pose with his hands resting on his waist. Jason noticed that his belt looked worn. “I just think she should be with me. With Hayden missing . . . and now I’ve heard all about this Logan thing.”

“What does that have to do with it?” Jason asked.

“It just got me thinking. Life is short. Very short. Shorter for some than others obviously. Sierra is that age, about the same age as Logan when he died. If Sierra ever found herself in a tough spot like that, I’d want to be there to help her.”

“She’s already been in some trouble.”

“You mean the car thing? I know. That’s what we can’t have, can we?”

“No, we agree on that. I guess it would be pointless to ask if Hayden would have any reason to cover for Logan. Or Jesse Dean.”

“Why are you bringing that up again?”

Jason started to tell Derrick about the letters, but then decided it wouldn’t be productive. If Derrick knew something, he wasn’t sharing. And if he didn’t know, why give him the chance to possibly tell Jesse Dean what Jason knew?

“Nothing. I guess it’s in the past.”

Derrick stood with his feet close together. He looked like a man about to make a giant leap. “I know you don’t think much of me, you and Nora. Hell, your family never really thought much of me. Not your parents and not you.”

“Derrick—”

“No, no. It’s fine. No bullshit, remember?”

Jason felt chastened. His parents hadn’t liked Derrick, but in retrospect it seemed less about him and more about Hayden. How could they put any faith in a guy who wanted to be with Hayden? Who acted so wholly devoted to such a wayward, unpredictable soul? And they all knew the crowd Derrick ran with.

“You know,” Derrick said, shifting his weight a little, “I had to ask myself sometimes why Hayden gave me the time of day. She could have had any guy she wanted. You know that, right?”

Jason felt strange contemplating such facts with Derrick just as he had with Colton, but he nodded in agreement.

“I spent so much time thinking about that when we were young. Why is Hayden with me? What if she decides to dump me? She did that more than a few times. Threw me over. But when you have a kid, it’s different.” He looked at Jason, a sly smile turning up the corner of his mouth. “You wouldn’t know this, of course, but when you have a kid, you stop thinking about yourself all the time. You start thinking about the future more.”

“Is this why you and Hayden have been so responsible over the years?”

Derrick started nodding. “Sure,” he said. “That’s an easy shot. You might as well take it. Like I told you on the phone, things are different for me now. This Hayden thing, it woke me up. I’m a father, and I need to act like it.”

“Are you just going to take Sierra back to Indiana?”

“I have to. That’s where my job is.”

“Can you do that? I mean . . . she’s supposed to be with Hayden, and Hayden lives here in Ohio.”

“I thought you might say that,” Derrick said. “Sierra’s a pretty smart kid, isn’t she?”

“Of course.”

“Mature?”

“Sure. What are you driving at?”

“I don’t know where she got it from. Not from me, that’s for sure. But don’t you think she knows herself pretty well?”

“She’s seventeen. There’s a limit to what she knows.”

“All I’m saying is, I’m prepared to let Sierra decide where she
wants to stay or who she wants to go with.” He pointed behind Jason. “Don’t you think we could just open that door and call up to her and find out what
she
wants to do? I mean if we really do care about the girl at all?”

*   *   *

Jason felt outmaneuvered. He couldn’t very well stand in the doorway of his own home and deny his former brother-in-law access to his daughter. Derrick was correct—Jason never much cared for him. But Jason had always admitted—and remembered again—that Derrick had been at least a decent father. He’d been the more reliable of the two of them, Derrick and Hayden, and despite his absence from Sierra’s life for the past couple of years, he appeared to have achieved a measure of stability.

Jason turned around and opened the front door. Derrick remained on the porch behind him, so Jason turned back and said, “Come on in.”

Derrick followed as Jason held the door, and when the two men entered the foyer, a voice called from the top of the stairs.

“Uncle Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“Is someone here? Is that . . . ?”

Sierra took two steps down the stairs, ducking her head so she could see the man behind Jason. When she did, her mouth opened wide, and in that moment, she looked very much like a surprised little girl, which Jason knew she was. A little girl surprised by her father.

“I thought I heard you,” she said.

She came down the stairs quickly, and Jason stepped out of the way as Derrick opened his arms and embraced his daughter. He raised her off the floor about a foot, Sierra lifting her legs and
squealing as Derrick held her. Then her feet were back down on the ground. Jason watched Sierra lean in and place her head against her father’s chest, and as she did, she reached up and wiped a tear from her eye. He wasn’t sure, but it looked like Derrick wiped at his eyes as well.

Jason didn’t know what to do. He took a couple of steps toward the kitchen. “Would you like some coffee, Derrick?” he asked.

“Are you okay, honey?” Derrick asked.

“I’m fine.”

“I heard about Mom. I’m sorry.”

Jason walked out to the kitchen. He brewed a new pot of coffee and checked the refrigerator and the pantry for food to serve. He found some cheese and set it on a plate with some crackers and a knife. He was still setting that up and waiting for the coffee to finish when Derrick and Sierra came into the kitchen.

“There’s coffee,” Jason said.

“I’ll have some. Thanks,” Derrick said.

“Me too,” Sierra said.

Sierra stood close to her dad while Jason poured the coffee into mugs. They each took one, and Jason invited them to sit at the table. When everyone was seated, Sierra sliced the cheese and started eating. Jason just waited. He wasn’t going to introduce the topic. Derrick seemed to pick up on this and gave Jason an irritated look. He probably wished Jason would leave the room so he could speak to his daughter in private, but Jason stayed rooted to his seat. If they were going to talk about Sierra’s future, they were going to do it with him involved in the conversation.

Sierra looked at both of the adults at the table. “What?” she said. “Is something happening?” She leaned over toward Derrick. “Do you know something about Mom?”

“No, I don’t.” Derrick reached out and took her hand in his. “Honey, I came here to ask you something.”

“What?”

Derrick looked at Jason again. Jason thought he saw some doubt on Derrick’s face, as though he wasn’t certain his attempt to get Sierra to go with him was going to work. But he forged ahead.

“I talked to Jason on the phone the other night.”

“You did?” Sierra turned her head to Jason and then back to her father. “I didn’t know you called.”

“I asked him not to bother you. I wanted to talk to Jason first. You see, we have to figure out what’s going to happen next with you. And with all of us. I know you like staying here with Jason and Nora, but it’s not a permanent solution. You know that, right?”

“I guess so. I’m waiting for Mom to come back.” She looked at both of them again. “I know that might make me sound like a little baby, but that’s what I’m hoping for.”

“We know,” Derrick said. “And I suspect she’ll be back soon. I do.”

“You don’t know that,” Sierra said, her voice soft.

“I’m hopeful,” Derrick said. “But in the meantime, I think you and I should be spending more time together. And I’m here because I want you to come live with me. Just until Mom gets back and everything returns to normal again.”

“It’s up to you,” Jason said. “We’re not trying to get you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

The words sounded hollow and forced to Jason. He knew he didn’t mean them. Of course he wanted Sierra to stay in their house. The closeness and attachment he felt for her made him afraid. He couldn’t imagine it if she went away, and he knew it would be even tougher for Nora.

“I like the idea of staying here because this is where Mom was last seen. If she comes back, she’s going to come back here and not to Indiana.” Sierra lowered her voice. She sounded small and young. “Besides, you haven’t been around. I never know if I’m going to see you. It’s been such a long time and . . . I just don’t know who to trust anymore.”