The Final Piece (13 page)

It’s been a year since I saw her last and you’d think it was yesterday, the way she dominates my thoughts. The selfish part of me wants to jump in the car and drive the hour and a half and surprise her at the lake. The nobler part of me knows that she would be better off without my interference. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes things just don’t work out. No rhyme or reason, the best plans have a way of falling apart without warning. No matter how much I wish it could be different, the most Beth and I could have would be a few weeks before she’d go back to Miami and I’d go back to Iowa City. That’s if she would still have me, for all I know this Charlie guy Tommy keeps mentioning is more than her “good friend.” I wish I could say I would happily step aside for her to have a boyfriend who lives in the same city and state, but I’m human, not some freaking martyr. I still want her, I still dream about her and knowing she’s so close is eating me alive. The real pisser is there is no one to blame for crappy timing so I just have to deal. It sucks.

“Yo,
Ry
,” my roommate Jack hollers. “Disc golf, dude. Saddle up and quit mooning over that chick.” I haven’t said a word about Beth to Jack, but according to him, my aversion to hot chicks and overall grumpiness can only be the result of a girl. “Come on, you pussy,” he scowls at me from the doorway.

“It’s tough to be intimidated by a clown in a Dr. Who t-shirt,” I snicker. Jack is pretty cool; I could do worse for a roommate.

“Do. Not. Diss. The. Tardis, asshole,” Jack threatens. “Let’s go, already. There are babes in the quad. Chop-chop, motherfucker.”

“All right,” I laugh. It actually sounds good to get out of this room for a while.

When we get downstairs, a group from our floor is gathered in the center of the quad and true to Jack’s statement, several of them are female.

“Wassup, ladies?” Jack saunters up to the first girl he sets eyes on and drapes his arm across her shoulders, sending her and her friends into fits of giggles. You can say whatever you want about Jack, but the dude’s got game. Anyone else would’ve gotten a punch to the balls for that move, but Jack’s new friends lap it up like cream. “Who? That tool?” Jacks points over his shoulder at me and then I see her. Smiling shyly and nodding her head at Jack is a cute brunette with piercing blue eyes. ”
Ry
, get your ass over here.”

“Hey.” That’s the best I come up with when I walk up. I really am a tool.

“Ry, Elizabeth. Elizabeth, Ryan.” Jack points his fingers back and forth between us.

Are you kidding me? I force a smile and stick out my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Elizabeth.” I hope I’m pulling off interest—it’s not her fault. Her killer eyes take me in warily, I guess I’m not very convincing.

“Call me Liz,” she shakes my hand, “nice to meet you too, Ryan.” Jack is busy chatting up the remaining girls and I start to wonder if we’re still disc golfing or whether we’ve scrapped our plan for our new friends.

“Jack, we still headed to Sugarbottom or what?” I ask.

Liz crinkles her nose and her friends don’t look very enthusiastic either. That answers that question.

“Nah, the scenery is better here.” Jacks little harem squeal with delight; I can’t believe they fall for that shit. I notice that Liz is regarding them with the same disbelief, making me laugh. She smiles up at me and then squinting one eye she taps her chin.

“Something tells me I’m not the only Elizabeth you know,” she smirks.

Crap.

“No, I know another Elizabeth. She goes by Beth, though,” I shift back and forth. ”What’re the odds?”

Liz tips her head toward a bench on the edge of the quad, so we wander over and sit down. My gut is churning with nerves, wondering what she must think of me.

Asshole?

Wimp?

Idiot?

All of the above?

“She must be someone special because the look on your face when Jack introduced us was like someone had kicked your puppy.” She chuckles at me, but her eyes are sympathetic. Taking a deep breath, I let the whole sordid tale flow.

“Beth and I grew up spending the summers together in Des Moines,” I start and before I know it an hour has passed and I have totally chewed this poor girls’ ear off. “God, I’m sorry, Liz. I can’t believe I just spilled my guts to the first cute girl I met. What a dick move.” I shake my head.

“Well, I
am
pretty cute,” she laughs, “but don’t apologize, that was the most romantic story I’ve ever heard. You give me hope, Ryan...” she accentuates the “n” and raises her eyebrow in question.

“Cantwell,” I fill in.

“You give me hope for an epic romance, Ryan Cantwell,” she smiles. The first cute girl also happens to be a super cool girl.

“Hey, thanks for listening. I guess I needed to get that off my chest,” I mumble.

“Anytime, my friend. Anytime.” She squeezes my shoulders, and I feel a huge weight lift from them. Friends are good. That means that I can keep Liz’s company without it leading her on. There’s something about her that reminds me a lot of Aunt Melissa and I’m reminded just how close the lake is.
             
“Come on, I’ll let you buy me dinner at The Fieldhouse. You need a distraction and I need a burger.”

“Liz…” I hang on the “z” and look to her for help.

“Gaston,” she fills in with a smirk on her face.

“Liz Gaston, you speak my language. Happy to buy you a burger so long as you let me kick your ass in pool.” I laugh, and for the first time since I arrived in Iowa City, Beth is in the back of my mind instead of front and center.   

Chapter 23

BETH

Charlie turns in his seat a few rows back and smiles at me. His curly brown hair is smooshed underneath his cap, but he still looks great. The pale blue caps and gowns we’re donning match his eyes. Go figure, the rest of us look frumpy and awkward in a sea of baby blue satin and Charlie looks like he belongs in a magazine spread. I blow the rogue piece of hair from my eyes for the millionth time and give him a quick wave.

When the principal announces the end of the ceremony, we all stand and throw our caps into the air. I close my eyes and fill my lungs with the hot, humid Miami air. It makes me smile knowing this is one of the last times I’ll ever have to breathe the swampy nastiness that passes for oxygen in South Florida. When I make my way to the aisle, Charlie picks me up and swings me around, I laugh when the girls around me sigh audibly.

“We did it, Beth!” he yells. “We’re finally out of here.”

Charlie understands how badly I want out of Miami because he does, too. Charlie’s mom is an alcoholic and he doesn’t know his dad. While his mom is sober now for four years, he still wants a chance to leave all the bad memories behind. I get that, my parents have been sober for three years and we have come a long way with mending our relationship but I still don’t want to see Miami again unless it’s in my rearview mirror.

Charlie places me back on my feet and we make our way through the crowd to find our families. When we spot them, our moms are huddled in an embrace, sniffling and blotting their eyes with Kleenex. It makes me smile to see my mom wrapped up in a sentimental moment with Sarah. They’re good for each other. When Charlie and I became friends at Al-Anon, our moms started hanging out and before long they were inseparable. Deep down, I know they wish Charlie and I would’ve dated but neither of us sees the other in that way. I would no sooner go out with Charlie than I would my own brother, if I had one.

“
Baby girl
!” I hear Tommy’s voice, but I don’t see him. Reaching up on my tiptoes, I scan the area around our parents and find him flagging us down.

“
Tommy
,” I squeal and take off running. When I reach him, he hugs me tight as he lifts my feet off the floor. Giggling, I plant a loud kiss on his cheek, “I did it, T!”

“I’m so proud of you.” He sets me down and steps back to assess me, “Look at you, Ms. UNC Scholarship.” His eyes crinkle at the corners and his mustache curls up on the ends with his smile. “My baby girl is all grown up.” The pride in his voice takes root in my heart, filling it with love and gratitude.

“Tommy, I want you to meet my friend, Charlie.” I reach behind me and haul Charlie forward by his sleeve. His face flushes as he wrings his hands. I grab onto one of them and give it a reassuring squeeze. He’s been nervous about meeting Tommy ever since I told him about the night Tommy whupped Drew’s ass. I didn’t get into specifics, only that the fight was related to my parents’ drug use. Tommy has been an enigma of sorts, ever since.

“Mr. Cantwell,” Charlie reaches his hand out cautiously. Tommy takes his hand and pulls him into a “man hug.” Part handshake, part chest bump with a slap on the back.

“Call me, Tommy, please, “ he insists, “Beth has told me so much about you, it’s good to finally meet you, son.”

Charlie beams at Tommy’s endearment and my heart melts. That’s just Tommy’s way—he wants everyone to feel comfortable and accepted. From our weekly conversations, he knows that Charlie doesn’t have a very strong male role model in his life. I love Tommy for wanting to put him at ease so quickly.

“Good to finally meet you, too, Tommy,” Charlie returns.

“So Beth tells me that you got yourself a full ride to the University of Georgia for swimming.” Tommy puts his arm around Charlie as we walk out to the parking lot. “
Go Bulldogs.”

“Well, I guess those two hit off.” My mom comes up next to me and hugs me to her side.

“They sure did, one mention of college football and they were golden. I told Charlie he had nothing to worry about,” I giggle, squeezing my mom back.

“Charlie knows how important Tommy is to you,” she kisses my temple, “he’s a good boy for wanting to make a good impression.”

I smirk at her subtle nudge toward Charlie. I know she means well and if I thought there could be something between us, I would be the first to take that step. Charlie is a catch. He’s tall and has the strong, lean definition of a swimmer’s body. His eyes are the palest blue I’ve ever seen and when you combine them with his tan skin and shaggy brown curls, girls don’t stand a chance. Charlie is all too happy to oblige them. He spent all of high school sampling girls from every clique except swim team. That was drama that he didn’t want to invite. He flitted all the way through the cheerleaders, and even the mathletes, spreading his sunshine wherever he went.

Charlie has a gift for leaving things better off than when he found them and that goes for his girlfriends, too. He’s totally a player, but he’s a gentleman about it. He never kisses and tells; he’s loyal, funny, charming. He’s the total package. There just isn’t that spark between us, not like what I felt with Ryan. For me, it always comes back to Ryan.

“Let’s go eat,” I sigh, “I’m starving.” Tommy still has an arm draped across Ryan’s back and they’re laughing like old friends. Part of me wishes that Charlie and I had clicked as a couple because he fits in so well with my family. Selfishly, I want him to fit into my family just like Ryan does, but I can’t replace Ryan with Charlie and I would be a selfish cow to try.

We pile into our cars and head to Christy’s, my favorite “special occasion” restaurant in Coral Gables. Driving up Coral Way, I stare out the window and daydream, soaking in the one thing I’ll miss from Miami—the historical architecture. There’s a tangible history along these streets of Coral Gables; a story in every pane of glass and arched doorway, all of it preserved inside the city limits like a time capsule. It’s a completely different world in here, insulated and untouched by the chaos of the city. It would be so nice if life worked like that and we could all have a beautiful place to go be buffered from the frantic pace of outside life, but life is messy and there’s nowhere to hide from it for very long. Better to just roll with the punches and try not to get knocked out.

During dinner, Charlie is seated to my left, and Tommy is to my right. I’m sandwiched between my two favorite guys. Life is good. Charlie and I yield questions about college and what we think we may want to study. All the talk is making me anxious to pack up and go right now. I eye Tommy and fuss with the linen napkin in my lap, I haven’t told him or anyone else back home that I won’t be going home to Iowa this summer. I wasn’t sure if my scholarship conditions would allow for me to start this summer and once I found out that I could, it got harder and harder to tell them I wasn’t coming home.

“That’s an awfully long face for such a happy day, baby girl,” Tommy interrupts my thoughts.

“Just a lot on my mind, I guess,” I speak truthfully, ”I’m anxious to start my new life.” I sigh and lean my head on Tommy’s shoulder. He kisses my forehead and puts his arm around the back of my chair.

“You want to tell me about it?” He cocks his head and smiles.

“I found out that my scholarship will allow me to start classes this summer,” I start.

“So you aren’t going to come home, are you?” Tommy asks.

I nod my head and pinch my eyes shut to stave off the flood of tears threatening to spill. I didn’t have to say a word, Tommy just knows me that well. Guilt rips through my chest when Tommy pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. “Beth, I understand wanting to get out there and start living life. Honey, no one back home would ever begrudge you that. We’ll miss you like crazy, but we’d never be mad at you for that.”