The Final Line (27 page)

“Will it ever stop?” Corey desperately wanted to know.

“Oh yes,” she said with a smile. “We’ll teach you how to react and deal with things a little more rationally. I’m more concerned about this anxiety attack you mentioned when you called yesterday.”

Corey told her about the panic he felt at the sound of gunfire. “That can’t keep happening. I gotta be able to do my job.”

“That doesn’t sound like anxiety, Corey.” Doctor Ingram frowned in concern. “That sounds like a flashback.”

There’s no way that was better. “I still gotta figure out how to stop it,” he replied.

“And we will, just like we’ll conquer the anxiety.” Her expression smoothed. “And please don’t let your fellow Marines talk you out of continuing to seek help. They mean well, but too many of you are coming back suicidal, with severe cases of PTS, for you to maintain this façade of tough guys not needing help with their emotions.”

“I’m here aren’t I?” Corey tried to smile. He’d realized after his talk with Sean that he cared more for what Sean thought about him, than he did his fellow Marines. So, he’d called Doctor Ingram.

“I want to talk about a couple of things we touched on previously.” He watched the doctor consult her notes. “You’ve already said that the Xanax mitigates your anxiety somewhat. Do you think it’s enough?”

Corey shrugged. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re the only one who knows how you’ve been feeling,” she responded evasively. “I can give you something stronger.”

Corey considered this. He did always feel better after he took a Xanax. “I think I’m fine with what I’ve got.”

Ingram scribbled another note. “Good. Okay. How are you sleeping?”

“Better. Fewer nightmares.” He supposed he could at least be thankful for that.

“Fewer? But you’re still having them?” she asked.

Corey sighed. He hated writing in that damn journal but it
had
helped him identify that little quirk. “I seem to have one after stressful days.”

“It’s good that you recognize that. It’s a positive sign you’ve identified a causal relationship.” She made more notes on her pad. “How have you been dealing with it when you awake from a nightmare?”

For some reason, Corey hesitated. “I’ve been calling my friend. Sean. I’ve been calling Sean.” He tugged at the fringe of the pillow and swallowed hard.

“Something tells me that’s been helping.” Ingram’s smile was kind. “And that brings me to your third prescription. Any opportunities to try out the little blue pills?”

Corey was suddenly fascinated by the tangled pillow fringe. “I took one just in case, but I had a reaction even before it kicked in.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” The doctor paused as if expecting Corey to continue. Finally she said, “Things went well, I take it?”

“Yeah. We’re going to see each other again on Friday.” As he glanced at Doctor Ingram, Corey couldn’t hold back his smile.

She returned his smile. “It’s good that you’re being social, Corey.” Ingram cocked her head, as if trying to determine what Corey needed to hear. “I was concerned about your emotional distancing of yourself.”

“I went to an SMP event last night.” Corey rushed through his confession. “I didn’t stay long. I went home early to talk to Sean. But I went.”

“Those are great social events,” Ingram said with enthusiasm. Her expression indicated a thought had just occurred to her. “Do they still have the volunteer program at the base animal shelter?”

“Yeah, I think so. I used to do that, before I deployed last time.” Corey really liked dogs. His lifestyle didn’t allow him to have pets, but he always thought that someday he’d be able to manage it. In the meantime, working at the shelter had been fun.

“I want you to start doing that again,” Ingram said, scribbling yet more notes. “Studies are showing fantastic results using dogs to treat extreme anxiety in veterans with severe PTS. I want you to go, handle the animals, let the oxytocin flood your system.”

Corey couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re giving me a prescription to pet animals?”

“In a way, yes,” the doctor replied with a grin.

As she walked Corey to the door after his appointment, Doctor Ingram said, “Enjoy your date on Friday.”

It seemed like she was teasing him. “Oh, I’m sure I will,” he replied, letting the door close behind him.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Corey rang the doorbell at Sean’s condo, adjusting the strap of his ruck on his shoulder. When they’d talked earlier, Sean had told him to pack for the weekend. It was time to admit that it was what they both wanted, so why play games?

Sean opened the door, wide smile already in place. “Hey.” He stepped aside to let Corey enter and closed the door.

“Hey,” Corey replied. Before he could say more, Sean leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

“Put your bag in the bedroom and I’ll finish dinner,” Sean said, after pressing a second kiss to Corey’s lips.

Corey dropped his bag on the floor at the foot of Sean’s bed. When he stepped into the kitchen, Sean had his back to him as he cooked. Corey admired the breadth of his shoulders as the cotton of his T-shirt clung to him. His well-worn jeans fit his firm, rounded ass perfectly. Sean was barefoot, as he always seemed to be when he was at home. Corey envied how even Sean’s feet were attractive. Corey had only just gotten rid of the last of the boot rot from his last deployment.

Sean glanced over his shoulder, probably sensing Corey’s presence. He smiled and Corey’s head spun.

“It’s nothing fancy,” Sean said as he checked the boiling pasta. “The sauce is from a jar but I added real ground beef.” He bent to examine garlic bread in the broiler.

Corey’s mouth fell open at the sight of Sean’s ass as he bent at the waist. He crossed the kitchen and was behind Sean when he straightened. Corey wrapped his arms around Sean’s chest and pulled him back. Sean made a soft sound of surprise, but readily leaned back into Corey’s body.

Sean was warm and firm. Corey buried his face in the crook of Sean’s neck and breathed deeply. Again, Sean was freshly showered. He smelled clean but with a hint of his usual cologne that Corey very much liked. Corey kept his arms around Sean’s chest and didn’t move. Sean crossed his arms over Corey’s hands and seemed content to just stay leaning into Corey.

“Is everything okay?” Sean asked softly, after several long moments.

Corey had already told Sean about everything that had happened that week. Sometimes he wondered if he wasn’t starting to sound like a whiny brat.

“Yeah, everything’s as fine as it can be,” he murmured against Sean’s warm skin.

In a moment of harsh clarity, Corey abruptly pulled back and released Sean. He was becoming clingy as well as whiny.

Before Corey could retreat completely, Sean grasped his hand and pulled him close again. “I like it when you touch me,” he said quietly, before releasing Corey’s hand.

Corey’s heart swelled to bursting. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of Sean’s neck.

They ate this time at Sean’s small dining table. Corey asked question after question about Sean’s recent job. He listened in fascination as Sean talked about the quirks of a world so foreign to Corey. There was more to it than he’d realized.

Corey felt so fucking guilty.

“You must get tired of listening to me bitch about my problems,” Corey said, sitting back in his chair with a heavy sigh. “I didn’t ask you about any of this when we talked on the phone.”

“You had a lot going on this week,” Sean replied, brows furrowed. “It was pretty much a normal week for me.”

“I’m a selfish dick,” said Corey with a shameful shake of his head.

“If you were a selfish dick, you wouldn’t have just sat through an hour of me rambling about myself and my screwy job.” Sean gripped Corey’s knee beneath the table.

Corey was surprised. “I learned as much about
you
as I did about your job,” he blurted. “There’s so much more to you than standing around, looking pretty, and reciting a bunch of lines from memory. It’s fun to hear about your work, but I like discovering things you like, learning about your past and your opinions. Shit like that.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Sean said, smiling wide.

Corey felt like he was missing a joke. “What?” he asked with an awkward laugh.

“Well, for you to tell me about what’s been going on with you, you have to explain everything to me,” Sean said, still gripping Corey’s knee. “I’ve learned a lot about the Marine Corps, about being a Marine, about what you guys go through in combat. But mostly I’ve learned about how much you love being a Marine, how quick and analytical your mind is, that you’re focused and disciplined, and that you’re very, very loyal.”

Corey looked down at the napkin he was shredding. “You’ve been doing recon on me.”

“Uh huh. And I like what I’m learning.” Corey felt Sean lean toward him and he turned his face in time to accept Sean’s soft, warm kiss.

“Good,” Corey said when they parted.

“Let’s clean up and watch a movie?” Sean asked.

Together, they cleared the table and filled the dishwasher. As Corey carried fresh bottles of soda to the living room, he watched Sean move the coffee table and shove a huge ottoman up against the sofa. It created a chaise lounge large enough for two grown men.

“Do you want to change your clothes?” Sean looked at him questioningly. “Did you bring something more comfortable?”

“Is there anything more comfortable than jeans and a T-shirt?” Corey was baffled at the question.

“Some people like to watch TV in sweats,” Sean replied with a laugh. “I like my jeans, just fine. You can take your shoes off, though, act like you’re staying awhile.”

“Make myself at home?” Corey asked teasingly, hoping to keep Sean smiling.

Sean obviously wanted Corey to be comfortable in his home. He wanted Corey to like being here. Corey was just afraid to reveal too many of his bad habits too soon.

Inside Sean’s bedroom, Corey removed his boots and tucked his socks inside. He slid them out of view, beneath the bed. When he reentered the living room, Sean had the BluRay player ready to go.

Corey dropped down onto the sofa and propped his feet on the ottoman. He laughed at his own ridiculousness. “You could have just told me not to put my shoes on the furniture.”

Sean looked at him for several seconds with a blank expression, before Corey’s meaning registered. He looked abashed. “No, I really didn’t mean it that way.” He laughed in embarrassment. “I do want you to relax and be comfortable. Screw the furniture.”

“I’d rather screw you
on
the furniture,” Corey said before he could police himself. He ran a palm over his heated face. “Christ, I must sound like a fucking pig a lot of the time.”

“I don’t know why you think that. You say what I’m thinking most of the time,” Sean replied, still smiling openly. He dimmed the lights in the condo. “Do we need anything else while I’m up?”

The sight of Sean’s sharp cheekbones catching the dim light jogged Corey’s memory. “Yeah. I still want to see all those modeling pictures you say you have. Do you have a book of them somewhere?”

Sean looked surprised. “Yeah. Are you serious?”

“It’s part of your work, isn’t it?” Corey asked.

Sean retrieved a zippered portfolio from beside his single bookcase. “Yeah, but showing them off when it doesn’t have to do with a potential job makes me feel vain.”

Corey snorted. “You are
not
vain. That much I’m sure of.” Corey knew that Sean was aware of how attractive he was but it didn’t affect anything about him, or his behavior. When he really thought about it, it was strange that Corey didn’t feel ugly next to Sean.

Taking the portfolio, Corey unzipped it. He motioned for Sean to sit right next to him while he viewed the photographs. Sean seemed reluctant, but he eventually complied.

Corey gasped at the first photo. Sean was beautiful. Whether color or black and white, Sean’s eyes seemed luminescent in picture after picture. The older images were obviously of a very young, sometimes androgynous Sean. The more recent ones showed his well sculpted body and generous endowments. Fully clothed or wearing only a pair of briefs, Sean always looked poised, handsome and classy.

“You’re about to reach the more
artistic
ones,” Sean said, air quotes implied.

Corey was stunned when he turned the page and saw a black and white photo of Sean, face down on a rumpled bed, bare ass slightly lifted. His expression was enticing and Corey’s cock twitched at the sight. He paged through photo after photo of Sean naked, or nearly naked. The frontal shots always obscured him with a towel, a piece of clothing, or sometimes Sean’s own carefully positioned leg.

Corey’s dick pressed painfully against his zipper. Sean was smoldering and sexy. He could look hungry, dominant, or as if he was begging to be fucked. Corey very nearly tossed the book aside and pushed Sean down onto the couch.

The first picture of Sean naked, posed with another man, took Corey by surprise. They were all beautiful, Sean twined around other well-built men. In each one, Sean’s face was somewhat obscured, and Corey missed seeing Sean’s eyes.

He knew the photos were staged and no sex had taken place. Still, with each page he turned, Corey became more and more jealous of the nameless men who held Sean’s gorgeous, naked body in their arms.

Corey turned the page to reveal a photograph that made his cock throb, at the same time it triggered a powerful possessiveness he’d never experienced before. Sean was naked, legs spread as he sat between the open thighs of an equally naked man. The framing of the photo left Sean’s gifts to the imagination, but Corey knew what wasn’t revealed. The other man tipped Sean’s head back with a hand on his forehead, effectively leaving Sean’s identity masked. Corey could still see that Sean’s mouth hung open, as if he was crying out in ecstasy. The second model held Sean firmly back against him, arm around his waist, hand splayed possessively on Sean’s taut abs. While Sean’s eyes were unseen, the second model stared directly at the camera over Sean’s bare shoulder. His expression was arrogant and knowing.