The Filthy Few (Iron Disciples MC) (15 page)

I don’t know if
what Cade tells her is true. He paints a glowing picture of the man and how
much he meant to the club. He is sure that Kurt’s sense of honor, loyalty,
morals will be passed on to his son.

“He was a good
man,” Cade finishes. “And I can tell by your son that he was an even better
father to the boy.”

The boy! It
hits me all over again. He has a little boy who is now without his father.
Could there be anything worse? My heart aches for the boy. Little boys and
young men need their fathers. What is going to happen with little Michael? Cade
is talking again.

“Your husband
was pulling a salary from the club for his work in the shop and for his
position as secretary. We’ll continue that salary as long as you need it. We’ll
also set up a college fund for little Mikey. He should want for nothing. This
is the least we can do to repay your husband for what he was to the club. If
there is anything I or the club can do for you and your son don’t hesitate to
ask. We will be there for you both forever.

“Can I go see
my husband?”

“Of course.”

“I’d like for Mikey
to see him as well. He’ll need closure. Will that be okay?”

“Of course. I instructed my
brothers to make your husband presentable. I thought you would want to bring
your son.”

“If you want to
leave your bike here you can go in the van with us.” She says to Cade.

“Sure, I
appreciate it. Do you mind my friend tagging along?”

“Of course not.
You obviously trust her so I do too. But before we go I need to tell my son
what happened.”

She gets up and
opens the door. “Mikey, come inside please.”

“But I’m not
done playing,”

“Come inside
right now Mikey.”

The next few
minutes are fucked up! I don’t know how Cade has the strength to do this
because it’s literally tearing me up inside. Mikey takes it as well as can be
expected but clearly he is confused as well. I’m not sure that he realizes the
finality of what has happened. Cade does an amazing job talking to the boy and
it makes me wonder if he lost a parent as a child. Maybe losing his own child
was not the first loss he’s known.

“I know this
doesn’t help Mikey, but because of your daddy, there’s a little boy and a
little girl who will get to see their daddy again.”

“But why don’t
I
get to see mine if they get to see theirs?”

A logical
question for a six year old.

“It’s because
your daddy protected their daddy and he kept them alive. When the bad guy came
to hurt the other kid’s daddy yours kept that from happening but he got hurt
real bad protecting them. In fact he got hurt so bad he died. I’m so sorry
son…”

I’m a little
worried that Mikey hasn’t broken down and cried or even gotten angry. He just
seems confused. It is a lot to handle, especially for someone his age.

“Mikey,”
Chrissie begins. “Were going to go and say goodbye to daddy now.”

“So he’s alive
then?” Mikey asks, clearly confused.

“No honey.”

“Then how can
we say goodbye?” Mikey asks.

“We…” Chrissie
stops taking clearly confused. “Maybe he’s too young to go do this.” She says
to Cade.

“No,” I
surprise myself when I jump into the conversation. “When my parents died when I
was young it was important for me to see them lying there dead. That kept me
from making up shit to keep them alive in my own head which ultimately helped
me recover faster. This needs to be real to him otherwise when he wakes up
tomorrow he’s going to be asking for his father and he’ll have to go through it
all over again; makes it really hard to let go and move on. You’re gonna have
to shield your son from most of your emotions as well.”

“What? Why do I
have to do that?” Chrissie asks.

“Your son is
going to be feeling…unsafe or unprotected now that his big strong father is no
longer around. He needs to know that someone is strong enough to protect him as
well as to deal with his own feelings. If you’re an emotional wreck all the
time how’s he going to be okay with his own feelings? He’s going to be afraid
of sending you off the deep end so he’ll have to bury his pain and it’ll come
back to haunt him later. When my mother died my father completely lost it. He
took a leave of absence from work but he was unable to care for us. I used to
take money from his wallet and take the bus to the store to buy food that I
could just stick in the microwave. I ended up being the strong one. Well,
actually I was very weak but on the outside I had to be strong. I was finally
starting to feel like we’d recover from my mom’s death when my father was
killed in a car accident when I was fourteen. In less than a year I lost both
my parents and had to go live with my mother’s sister until I went to college.
Be strong for Mikey. Go ahead and grieve today. Be a complete wreck. But just
for today. Tomorrow you show Mikey you’re strong and capable of taking care of
his emotional needs as well as the physical ones. Any grieving you need to do
you do it in private, not in front of Mikey.”

Chrissie turns
to Cade. “I am so glad you brought her along.”

“Yeah, me too,”
he replies. “No let’s go say goodbye to daddy.”

As instructed
by Cade, Mikey’s father is cleaned up, by the time we arrive. They put on fresh
clothes and even his cut which he is still wearing is blood free. It’s very
touching watching mother and son saying goodbye. At first it’s a little touch
and go. Mikey just can’t get that daddy is dead because he just looks like he
is asleep.

The second we
walk into the room Mikey rushes up to his dad and hugs him fiercely. He stays
there for a moment before he backs off in confusion.

“Daddy why
won’t you hug me?” He asks. “Daddy, please…wake up. It’s me Mikey! Daddy why
won’t you talk to me?”

He is crying
now and hugging his father like he’s never gonna let go. After a few minutes
his mom joins him and together they say their final goodbyes. When they finally
finish their goodbyes and allow their father to be taken away Cade arranges for
one of his guys to take them back home. I’m glad Cade didn’t volunteer us to do
the deed. I’ve had more than enough heartbreak for one day. I did however get
to see a side of Cade I have never seen before. He also showed me a side to the
Iron Disciples that I hadn’t know existed either. They are like a family. While
they’re a non-traditional, extended family it seems to work for them. It also
makes me feel like I would like to belong to the family too.

After
arrangements are made for the body Cade takes me back to his bedroom to talk.

“Morgan, there
are some bad things coming the club’s way. What happened to Kurt is just the
start. I can’t be seen with you out in public. I-”

I stop him
mid-sentence. “You afraid to commit or embarrassed to be with me?” I accuse.

“Neither.” He
begins. “I am just reluctant to paint a target on your back and that’s what is
going to happen the moment my rivals see us together. They’ll go after you as a
means of getting to me.”

“I’m not
worried about that.” I begin. “I’m sure you’ll protect me.”

“That’s the
problem. I can’t have you joined to my hip 24/7. I have to work and I imagine
you have to as well. What’s that saying you and Stacy keep saying about money?”

“Money never
sleeps. But this is Saturday afternoon so money’s gonna sleep for another day
and a half. I’m sure there’s something we can do between now and then right?”

“Sorry hon, but
just because it’s the weekend doesn’t mean I can screw off for the next two
days.”

“How about
screwing for a couple hours then?”

“I’m sorry
Morgan, but I have to answer back for what just happened to one of my brothers.
This won’t sit. The guys want revenge and as president I have to give it to
them. Sorry.”

“Is that all
your about Cade, revenge? Violence begetting violence?”

“After what you
just saw this afternoon and you’re accusing me of just being about the
revenge…and violence begetting violence? Have you had your eyes closed the
whole afternoon?”

He’s walking
away. I do not want the day to end like this. Better salvage it fast.

“I’m sorry Cade.
I know what you’re about; family. I know that now and I’m sorry for accusing
you of being no better than a warmonger. I wa…I like what you have. I haven’t
had family in…well, since my family was stripped from me fourteen years ago.”

“You still have
your brother Morgan and from what I can tell, he’s a pretty great guy. He’s
your family. Maybe you should focus on what you have, not what you used to
have. Now I really have to go. You can still stay here if you want. I don’t
know when I’ll be back though. And if you’re tired of the couch, my bed is
always open.”

“Your bed huh?
I’ll have to consider my options Romeo.”

A sudden
chilling thought strikes me again. I keep forgetting to tell him about his
brother and what happened here yesterday. I don’t know why I am so hesitant on
telling him. Maybe I think he won’t believe me or something. Maybe he’ll think
I’m trying to…never mind. I don’t know what the hell to think. Staying here is
probably not the safest place to crash but if I have the chance of connecting
with him again I’ll take it.

He closes the
distance between us in two long strides, sweeps me into his powerful arms and
plants a passionate kiss on my lips. This is a much better way to say goodbye.
Then without a word he strides out the front door, gets on his Harley and takes
off with a deep throaty roar.

I’ve never
really been the focus of anyone’s rage before and I have to say I find
it…rather confining. Even if I wasn’t restricted to Cade’s house I don’t know
that I would feel comfortable enough to even venture out. Maybe someone has
already seen me with Cade. Oh fuck! Of course someone has, his brother. Well,
he didn’t see us together, but he knows I am staying there. And we didn’t talk
about my arrangement with Cade so he has to think we’re sleeping together; and
now we are. Shit! I really shoulda told him and now I can’t because neither of
us has bothered to offer an exchange of phone numbers. I think that points to
either a lack of trust or a real fear of commitment. I think it’s a little or a
lot of both. At least for me it is. What’s to say he doesn’t come back here
looking for me? Suddenly I feel way too confined. I have to leave. Eddy’s going
to show up the second he feels I have been left alone…like now. This time when
he strikes it’ll be a fatal blow.

I need a
weapon! I go to the kitchen and sort through various cutlery. He doesn’t own a
butcher knife, and his steak knives and other similar knives are pretty thin. I
don’t know that they won’t easily break on me. If they’re sharp enough I guess
I could slash with one. I pick up the most likely candidate. It’s a nicely
balance knife that seems to have retained a pretty sharp edge. I locate his
cutting board and place the flat of the blade on the wood and proceed to see
how strong or flexible the blade is. Seems to be very inflexible which probably
means it’s too brittle for combat. I can’t believe I’m even fucking thinking
about fighting with a knife.

“This is pretty
fucking useless!” I finally admit to myself.

“You’re pretty
fucking right about that Gimp!” Says an evil voice behind me.

I whirl around,
bringing the knife up between myself and Eddie. The instant I behold him, I
know just how useless my own weapon will be against him. If he decides to kill
me there’s very little I can do about it.

“Where’s your
friend, Gorgeous I believe was her name?”

“She and Cade
went to the store. They should be back anytime now.” I reply with far more
confidence than I actually feel. Too bad that statement wasn’t true. I might
actually have a chance here. He takes a small step towards me. I can tell he’s
deliberately taking his time and enjoying the moment. That means he must know
where Cade is and is confident his brother won’t show any time soon.