The Fiery Ring (26 page)

“Well, if you’ll help me, Karl, I’ll try it.”

“Help you? Of course I’ll help you! I’ll always be right by the door. It’ll look better if you’re in there alone. Something about a beautiful young woman facing four fierce Bengal tigers. You’ll be a star. You’ll have me taking second billing.”

Joy was excited about the act, but she knew Chase would be opposed when he heard about the plan. Later in the day she was not surprised to see him approaching her with a scowl on his face, demanding, “What’s this I hear about you going in with four tigers?”

At his severe tone, she swallowed and tried to reply nonchalantly. “Karl thinks it’ll make the act more dramatic.”

“It’ll make it more dangerous is what it’ll do.”

“But I’m not taking any of the bad cats, Chase,” Joy pleaded. “It’s something I want to do.”

“It’s something you
shouldn’t
do.” Chase stared at her and then shook his head. “I’m against it, Joy. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Joy could not answer. She knew he was just concerned for her safety, but she felt as though he was trying to control her. This was an exciting opportunity for her, and he had no right to deny her that. Rather than consider his warnings, her inner arguments held sway and her stubborn streak had its way. “Well, I’m going to do it, Chase. If you want to help, then teach me all you can. Otherwise, just stay out of it.”

“All right, I will. I won’t have anything to do with it. I’ve told you what I think you should do.”

Chase turned and walked away, leaving Joy angry and frustrated.

****

Joy was surprised at how challenging it was to be in the big cage with more than a single tiger. Karl had started her out with just two, Mabel and Mazie. Mazie was almost as gentle as Mabel was, and soon, after half a dozen practices, he added Sammy and Lucy. The four of them worked well
together, and Joy threw her heart into learning the act. By the end of the week Karl felt she was ready.

****

On Sunday morning after breakfast, she headed to the big top to attend an informal service at her brother’s invitation. Travis had gone around inviting everyone to come. Joy looked around, surprised at the number of performers and workers who had gathered. There were at least thirty people there, including some she would never have guessed would respond to such an invitation. Most of them were wearing their usual work clothes, but surprisingly some had dressed up as if it were a regular church service.

After Travis got the group quieted down, he said, “I thank you all very much for coming, and I want to tell you how much I appreciate your taking me into the circus family. Joy and I haven’t had a family for a while, and I know I speak for her too when I say we’re really grateful for your kindness.”

Travis opened the service with some familiar hymns, which he led with his clear tenor voice. Joy knew them well, as did several of the others—“Amazing Grace,” “The Old Rugged Cross,” and “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Travis then said, “Rather than preach a sermon this morning, I’d like to tell you how Christ came into my life. It happened in prison in Mexico.”

Joy listened as Travis related the story of his conversion. She found tears in her eyes as he told about the terrible circumstances in the prison and how he had been beaten more than once—something she had not known.

“The great preacher Reverend Dwight Moody used to say that every generation needs
re
generation. Well, at least I needed it,” Travis said, smiling. He had a Bible in his hand, and from time to time he would read a Scripture passage. At the end of his testimony, he said, “Everything in me belongs to Jesus. If any of you want me to pray with you or need me to
do anything, I’m always available.” He closed the service with a prayer and was immediately surrounded by well-wishers.

Doak, who had been sitting beside Joy, said in his deep bass voice, “That brother of yours is truly a man of God.”

“You’re right, Doak. I wish I were as good as he is.”

“What’s stoppin’ you?” Doak said and touched her gently with his elbow. “God don’t shut nobody out.”

Joy turned and looked into the black face, seeing great kindness there. Doak had become a dear friend and had saved her from some embarrassing moments by being her protector. “I know, Doak. I just haven’t found my way yet.”

“You’re gonna find it, Miss Joy. The good Lord’s gonna take care of you.”

****

Night had fallen, and the circus was bedded down. As was usual on Sundays, the crowd had been small for that day’s performances, since many Southerners still believed that the Sabbath should be set apart for God, not taken up with frivolous entertainment. Despite the smaller audience, Joy had been excited to do her act with the four tigers for the first time, and she’d been thrilled at the crowd’s reaction. Now as she enjoyed the warm night and walked slowly around the perimeter of the circus grounds, the stars were shining overhead. She had become so familiar with the smells of the circus that they now seemed entirely natural to her. She was thinking of Travis and how much he had changed. He had never been particularly religious before, but now she knew he was filled with a spirit that she herself did not have.
He really loves God with all his heart.
The thought was comforting, yet somehow disquieting as well.

“Hello, Joy.” She turned quickly and could barely make out the dim form over to her left, but she knew Chase’s voice.

“Hello, Chase.”

“You out for an evening walk?”

“I just couldn’t sleep. I was so excited.” She wanted to ask
his opinion of her act, but she knew he didn’t approve of it and felt she was being foolish.

“Mind if I join you?” Chase asked.

“Oh no. I’d like some company.”

The two moved away from the circus grounds, where the quieter sounds of the night became more distinct. They could hear a chorus of frogs from a nearby pond, the soft hooting of an owl, and the muted hum of cars and trucks on the distant highway.

Joy stopped and turned to face Chase. The moon was bright, and she looked up at it. “I used to think somebody lived on the moon.”

“So did I, and on the stars too.”

“Maybe they do.”

“I doubt it. I think God made the earth for man, and all those stars and the moon and the sun are for our benefit, but who really knows what’s up there?”

Chase looked down at her, noticing how the moonlight softly illuminated her features. “You look so different from the first time I saw you, Joy.”

“I know,” she said. “I was wearing that awful boys’ garb. I’ve never forgotten that night in the boxcar when you saved my life.”

“No, I think it was you who saved me. Do you still carry that thirty-eight?”

“I still have it. It’s a family heirloom.”

While the two talked, Chase watched the shadows of the night move across her face. At one time she had seemed like just a girl to him, but now a complex and unfathomable woman stood before him. She surprised him by suddenly blurting out, “Chase, please don’t be mad at me for doing the act.”

“I’m not mad. I’m worried about you.”

“I know you are, but really, there’s no reason for you to be worried.”

“You know my reasons, Joy.”

As they stood together in the moonlight, Joy admitted to herself that she’d always been attracted to Chase. It began when she had nursed him back to health like a helpless baby. Then later her feelings for him had turned to infatuation, although she had never spoken of it to anyone else. Lately when she looked at him, she felt a deep stirring, and she often wondered what it would be like to be completely in love with this man.

“Chase . . .” She started to speak, but then for no reason she could think of, she had to struggle to keep her composure. She looked up at him and whispered, “Chase, I’ve always had a special feeling for you, and I’m worried about you.”

“You mean about Stella? There was nothing to that. That’s ancient history.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I’m so glad, Chase.”

She looked in his eyes as he gazed intently at her. She had little experience with men, but she knew desire when she saw it, and she saw it now in the face of Chase Hardin. When he put his arms around her, she did not resist. She let herself be enfolded in his embrace, responding in kind to his ardent kiss.

The moment surprised Chase as much as it did Joy. Her nearness drained him of his strength, and he held the kiss for a long time, not wanting to let her go. But then he stepped back and held her at arm’s length. “Well, I’ve made a mess out of this just like I’ve handled everything else.”

Joy was more than shocked . . . she was hurt. It was as if he had just slapped her in the face. She had been deeply stirred by the warmth of his arms around her and the touch of his lips as they clung to each other in the moonlight. The moment would have been perfect and complete if he had declared his love for her; instead, he had pushed her away and uttered this inane comment.

“Whatever do you mean, Chase?”

“I promised Sister Hannah I’d never do anything wrong with you.”

These words hurt Joy even more. Her feelings rushed out in a torrent of anger and confusion. “How can you say that? We haven’t done anything wrong!”

“I don’t have any right to feel anything for a woman, Joy. I’m nothing but a roustabout and a drunk. I always will be.”

At this Joy gave full vent to her anger. “You don’t have to be a failure, Chase. You’re just giving up on yourself and on life.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Oh, I understand all right. You just refuse to be a man.” She turned and started to walk away, the anger and hurt obvious in the stiffness of her body.

Chase started after her, now feeling even more confused and wondering why she was so angry with him. He ran to catch up with her, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around. “Wait, Joy! Why are you so mad at me?”

“Don’t you know? You treat me like I’m a little girl! Well, I’m not a little girl, Chase!”

“Of course—I know that.”

The whole situation was so frustrating Joy just wanted to scream. She knew she had a lot to learn about men, but her feelings for this man were now in a worse jumble than before. How could he kiss her like that, then just push her away? Fighting back tears, she turned and fled into the night.

In desperation, Chase called after her, “Joy, please don’t do that act with the tigers.”

She shouted back, “You’re not my boss, Chase Hardin! Don’t you dare tell me what to do!”

****

A week went by, and every night Joy could not avoid the memory of Chase’s embrace and warm kiss. She could almost feel his arms around her, and she was disturbed and confused at what she felt. She was fairly certain he had deep feelings for her but was just afraid to admit it. She also knew that
unless he got over his fear, it would never come to anything. Throughout that week the two avoided each other, speaking only briefly and only when necessary, both of them hiding their emotions.

Travis came to Chase one day, his face troubled, and said, “Chase, we’ve got to do something about Joy.”

“Why? What’s wrong with her?”

“You haven’t heard what they’re going to do?”

“What who’s going to do? What are you talking about, Travis?”

“Karl’s talked her into going into the ring with him—both of them in the ring together with all fifteen of those lions and tigers. She can’t do it, Chase. You know that better than anybody.”

Indeed, Chase did know. He said quickly, “You’re right. You’ve got to stop her, Travis.”

“She won’t listen to me. Will you talk to her?”

“I think I’m the last one she’d listen to.”

Travis considered Chase carefully. “I think she’s got something in her heart for you, Chase. She’s never said anything to me about it, but I’ve noticed that she watches you all the time.”

“There can’t be anything like that between us. I’m not good enough for her. I’m not going anywhere in life.”

“Will you at least try to talk to her?”

Chase sighed. He didn’t want Joy to do the act any more than Travis did, but he felt helpless to change her mind. He finally said, “I’ll try, Travis. But I can’t make any promises.”

****

The confrontation with Joy was short and more disturbing than Chase had imagined. He had gone to her trailer and found her there alone. When she answered the door, he said immediately, “Joy, listen to me. I know you’re mad at me, but please don’t do this thing with Ritter. I’m worried about you and so is your brother. It’s a very bad idea.”

Joy had expected this and had braced herself for it. “I know how you feel about it, Chase, but I’ve got to do it.”

“Why do you have to do it?”

“Maybe I should have said I
want
to do it. I love the circus, and I think I can do this job. Why did you do it when you were performing? You loved it, didn’t you?”

Chase dropped his head. He could not answer for a moment. “It’s a different kind of thing.”

The argument went on for some time, and finally Chase took a deep breath. “You won’t listen to Travis or to me?”

“I have to do it—and you can’t stop me.”

Chase suddenly pulled himself up. “Well, I won’t be here to see it.”

Joy felt a surge of fear. “What do you mean you won’t be here?”

“One of these days you’re going to get badly hurt or killed, and I won’t watch it. So I’ll leave before it happens.”

“Leave? But where will you go?”

“I kept my promise to Sister Hannah to stay with you until your brother got back. Well, he’s back, so you don’t need me anymore.” Chase was angry, yet at the same time a gnawing fear lurked in his heart. He knew at that moment how much he had come to care for this young woman, and he felt bitter that he could not do more to dissuade her from getting in the cage with all the cats. Despite the guilt that swept through him, he told her, “I’m leaving.”

“But, Chase—where will you go?”

Chase studied her briefly, then said, “I’m going back to ask my mother to forgive me for all the wrongs I’ve done her. I’m going to get a job selling shoes or carrying sacks out to a car for a grocery store. I’m going to find a good woman and have five kids.” The words bubbled out of him, and he took a deep breath. “I’m going to be
normal
for a change. Good-bye, Joy!”