The Ferryman (6 page)

“These bottles are so cute, there’s no way they could be harmful,” he said. “Like hamsters. Those little guys are cute and harmless.” The comment made Karen laugh.

“Is any of this going to your head?” Karen asked as she later studied the pile of bottles at his feet.

“Technically, I don’t have a head for this to go to,” he said. “So, I don’t think I could get drunk.”

“Can you urinate?” she asked. “Because one of the things you want to do is pee off the roof of a tall building.”

“I’ll work it up,” he said, and he did. Karen had to help him stand because his legs couldn’t bear any weight, but luckily, ghosts aren’t heavy. She helped him into an elevator and took him to the roof of the tallest building in town, which was only twenty stories, but that was high enough. Karen supported Scott as he stood on the edge shouting obscenities at his doctors and peeing in the breeze. Karen watched the ghostly droplets drift into the wind. Some of the droplets joined the water vapor of the clouds above, while some slowly fell downward. It wasn’t quite like it would have been if a live person had urinated over the side of the building, but Scott was satisfied, and that’s all that mattered.

“Did you see those drops that went into the clouds?” he asked with excitement as they were riding the elevator back down to the exit.

“Yes,” she said. “I’ve never seen that before.”

“Me neither,” he said with satisfaction. “Next time it rains I’ll be pissing on the heads of everyone in town.” Karen laughed. As far as ghosts were, Scott was quite agreeable. If all ghosts were like him her job might be easier, but she was still worried about how it would end. If he didn’t go to heaven she would hate herself for helping him to get there. He seemed too nice to go anywhere else, but Karen also understood that she didn’t know Scott’s whole story. It could be complicated. It usually was.

Next she took him downtown to play in traffic. He hadn’t been allowed to cross busy streets by himself because his mother had worried that he would be hit by a car that didn’t see him. Karen thought about how sheltered Scott had been. Nothing he wanted to do was really all that dangerous. It seemed as if his family had been overprotective. She wondered if she was too protective of Claude and whether or not he felt stifled by her.

Scott rolled through busy intersections regardless of the traffic lights. The cars didn’t see him at all, and he screamed with pleasure as each one passed through his body. He turned in circles and popped wheelies as cars passed though him, sometimes jostling him like a pinball in traffic.

“Why did some cars pass right through you while others made some kind of an impact on you? They knocked you back and forth, but they didn’t hurt you,” Karen commented as she drove a rented Ferrari to the outside of town. The rental process had been more difficult than a regular car, but after a few administrative hurdles and a security check, they had given Karen the keys. She had the car for twenty four hours, because at the top of Scott’s list was “Driving a Ferrari.” This had been the most difficult item to fulfill, and it had taken the longest for her to arrange.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “It doesn’t matter. All I know is that it was fun, and I don’t care. I got hit by a car and I lived. I really lived.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she said as she drove down the interstate exit and onto a country road.

“Do you want to drive it?” she asked as she pulled over on the deserted road. It was a very flat stretch of road with little traffic.

“Hell, yes!” he said. “And I’m not going to wear a seatbelt.”

Karen helped him into the driver’s seat and then fastened herself in next to him. The interior wasn’t exactly spacious, but it didn’t matter. Scott wanted to drive really fast in a red Ferrari convertible. It wasn’t an inexpensive activity, but Karen decided it was part of the cost of doing business because she knew how important it was to him.

Scott took off quickly and kept accelerating. The wind whipped Karen’s hair in different directions, and she wished that she had tied it back as she felt it slapping her face.

Scott shouted much the same way he did when he was going down the bridge in his wheelchair. He had some difficulty shifting gears, but he managed without help. Once the car was in the top gear he simply accelerated. Karen checked her seatbelt. The incredible speed was both thrilling and terrifying, and she felt the excitement. The speeding car was kicking up the road dust, so much so that Karen could smell it along with the scent of oil coming off the hot engine. She was surprised at how much she was enjoying herself.

The wind roared as it rushed over them and Karen couldn’t hear very much, but she could see the joy on Scott’s face. He was screaming ecstatically.

“This is living!” he screamed. Karen smiled and nodded as she pulled her hair back from her face with one hand. “Why couldn’t I have died in a Ferrari? This would be a great way to go!” he said.

“Then go,” Karen shouted back with encouragement. She squinted to keep her eyes from drying out in the wind as she looked at him. “You have the choice to go now and make this your last memory of earth.” Scott glanced around at the interior of the car and paused briefly to lock eyes with Karen as he considered her words, but it didn’t take him long to make his decision.

“I will. Thank you,” he said as he let go of the wheel and vanished slowly. His image melted from the bottom up as it disappeared from view. Karen was relieved that she had accomplished this transition and there had been no hint that Scott had gone to hell. But no one was driving. It was dark outside. She couldn’t see if there were obstacles. She was in a speeding rented Ferrari with no one at the wheel. No one. The car was decelerating without any pressure on the gas, but it was still speeding and nobody was steering. Her mind was on Claude and what he would do if she died in a car crash. She had no family to help him, and he would become a ward of the state. The thought panicked her.

Karen unbuckled herself and climbed into the driver’s seat to take control of the car. Her hands were shaking as she started to break. It took a few minutes to slow the car down enough to stop safely. Karen pulled over on the shoulder of the deserted road and fell out of the car. Her whole body shook, and she paced back and forth to calm herself. She was parched, but the movement was soothing to her. She continued to pace back and forth even though what she really wanted was to sip from the water bottle she’d left in the car.

“That was risky,” Fate said, appearing before Karen and further unnerving her.

“I didn’t know it was risky when I started it,” Karen responded. She wished she had one of those little liquor bottles to help calm herself.

“That’s what makes it even riskier,” Fate said in a reflective and unconcerned tone. She watched Karen pacing nervously. “Oh, relax,” she said. “You weren’t going to die.”

“How do you know?” Karen asked as she finally reached inside the car and picked up her water bottle. She took a few deep breaths through her parched lips without opening the bottle. It helped. She felt the tension and panic leave her body as she blew the air out slowly through her papery lips.

“Do you know who you’re talking to?” Fate asked. “I thought we understood one another.”

“I think maybe you understand me,” Karen admitted, “but I don’t know anything about you.”

Fate studied her for a moment as if about to say something important, but she turned around to look at the car instead. She ran a gloved finger over the finish. Karen took a swig of water. It was warm but still refreshing.

“You did a good job,” Fate announced. “This may be your finest accomplishment so far.” Karen took another swig of water as she felt herself further calming down.

“Thank you.”

“I think you’re getting better at this.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Nevertheless, you are.”

“He didn’t go to hell, did he?”

“We’ve discussed this before. That’s none of your concern.”

“But it bothers me.”

“It shouldn’t,” Fate said.

“Fortune seems to bother you,” Karen said quietly as she looked at Fate sideways. “And maybe he shouldn’t, but he does.” Perhaps it was the rush of driving fast or maybe it was Scott’s influence, but she felt like taking a risk even if it would irritate Fate.

“It’s not the same thing,” Fate said sharply.

“Still, I’d like to meet him and see for myself whether or not he’s as annoying as you say.” At these words the dashing gentleman faded in with a sparkling shimmer. He stood behind Fate, dressed in a black top hat, tails, and cane. He smiled coyly at Karen over Fate’s shoulder. His tuxedo was new and while it didn’t exactly sparkle, it gave Karen the feeling that it was secretly twinkling and that only she was aware of it. As Fortune’s smile widened Karen felt the sultry nature of it, as if she had been sunbathing in the nude. It sizzled through her whole body.

“He’s not worth knowing,” Fate snapped. “He’s more trouble than he’s worth.”

“A lot of people might disagree,” Karen replied from her dreamlike state.

“I should hope so!” exclaimed the formally dressed gentleman. His voice had a warmth that reminded Karen of some expensive brandy she had once tasted.

“No one invited you,” Fate barked when she turned around and recognized him. “You have no business here.”

“You were talking about me. You spoke my name aloud, and someone mentioned that she’d like to meet me in person to form an objective opinion of my character. That’s an invitation as far as I’m concerned.” He stretched out his cane and tapped the heel of Fate’s left boot as he spoke. She took a step away.

“Stop flirting with me,” she said abruptly. Karen wanted to volunteer herself as an object of flirtation, but she managed to pull herself together by looking away from Fortune’s vibrant blue eyes. She felt the heat dissipate from her body as she focused on the dirt in the cracked pavement next to her feet. Her own shoes were worn canvas slip-ons that weren’t nearly as stylish as Fate’s gray leather boots.

“I believe there was some attempt earlier to place blame for this poor chap’s condition,” Fortune replied pleasantly. It made Karen glad to know that he had been watching them earlier. There was something about him that made Karen want him to always be near her.

“It had nothing to do with me. You know that,” Fate said. She spoke with confidence, but Karen could hear the difference in Fate’s tone. She didn’t talk to Fortune the same way she did to everyone else. She was firm, but ever so slightly softened. Perhaps the attractive gentleman had an effect on Fate, even if it was a small one.

“People with muscular dystrophy are destined to lose their motor ability. This is your fault,” Fortune said to Fate in an easy tone, as if he were discussing the weather. He turned his cane sideways and ran it lengthwise across his palm. He looked like a dancer when he moved. His motions were smooth and elongated with a sense of perfect timing.

“You flipped the coin and when it came up tails, he was born with this condition,” Fate insisted. “It’s a product of randomness and genetics.”

“You destined the condition in the components of the genetic material,” he retorted, tossing the cane lightly from hand to hand.

“You rolled the dice and the egg was fertilized by the sperm with the gene that brought the condition into existence for him. He didn’t have to be this way, except for your games of chance.” Fate’s temper was rising, and the heat was not a pleasant one.

“But the genetic material preceded the random union of the sperm and egg,” he said with equal force as his cane settled firmly on the ground, his genteel nature slipping away.

After a few more verbal exchanges their speech sounded more like a thunderstorm than conversation. Karen thought she felt hot rain whipping her hair about and slapping against her neck, but she was dry. Fate and Fortune were masters of illusion, especially when they fought.

“Stop it!” Karen yelled.

Fate laughed heartily.

“My dear, where are my manners?” Fortune said as he stepped up to take Karen’s hand. When he touched her Karen felt a cozy and yet tingling sensation. It was as if she were experiencing all the positive feelings from every holiday she’d ever celebrated. It was Thanksgiving. It was Christmas. It was the Fourth of July, Easter, and her birthday all at once. These were all balmy sensations, but they also made her shiver, as if she understood beneath the warmth that those holidays were gone. When Fortune kissed the back of her hand she felt light-headed, overcome by visions of all the good things she’d experienced and seen. These weren’t just her memories. Her mind was flooded with happy endings from movies, lottery winners, lost family pets arriving safely home, children being born, cancer being cured, and love being found. She felt the love as if it were all for her. When Fortune released her hand Karen stepped away from him, and Fate stepped in.

“You have no business here,” Fate said as she placed her palm firmly on his chest and pushed Fortune away.

“And you do?”

“If I do, it doesn’t concern you,” she retorted. She tilted her head to one side as she touched her hair with one of her gloved hands and added sweetly, “So let’s say goodbye for now and arrange a meeting later. Dinner someplace special, perhaps?”

“Where should we go?” he asked as if they had never argued.

“You pick,” she replied, grinning.

“I’ll surprise you.”

“You always do.”

He smiled and blew her a kiss as he faded way, leaving Karen with that summery and carefree feeling of bliss. No wonder Fate had married him. If she had someone who could make her feel like that all the time Karen would consider herself the luckiest woman on the planet.

What a different exit from Fate, Karen thought to herself as she stood there staring Fate in the eye. They were such opposite entities. Karen wondered how she had ever confused Fate and Fortune. If she could choose, she would rather work for Fortune. Who wouldn’t?

“Why do you always wear boots?” Karen blurted as she attempted to bring herself back. She wanted to break the silence without breaking her gaze.

“Because I have to walk through a lot of shit.”